Duty and Desire
by Aspenleaf
Summary: Edward Masen was brought up in a world where responsibility to your family and class was everything. Tired of the endless pursuits of women he becomes more and more jaded. That is until, he meets his match…..
1. Prologue

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice

* * *

**

_Prologue…_

I could feel everything.

The wind, as it whipped past my face, caressing it with a coolness that always seemed to calm me. The subtle scent the dew gives as it rests on the mossy forest floor. Every sound echoed as I pushed harder and harder, desperate to find what I needed.

I could still see her face, those angry, defiant eyes that looked directly into my soul. Her eyes called to me, locked me in place.

_I never had a chance._

Galloping through the woods, I spurned Blackjack harder; I needed this almost as much as I needed her. I knew I was punishing myself, but I didn't care. I had been careless with my actions and callous with her feelings. I couldn't blame her for rejecting me.

I had brought it all on myself.

With another crack from my crop, the horse ran faster. My thighs were burning, desperately trying to hold their place. My backside ached from the repeated contact with the saddle. My lungs burned and I didn't know how much more I could take. I was suffocating, but I kept pushing.

Knowing I was running toward _nothing_.


	2. Empty

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

* * *

**_September 1812, London_**

**_Edward Masen_**

Standing in this Ballroom surrounded by the smell of smoke, sweat and drink, my stomach clenched. I watched as the couples danced, all seemingly unaware of the world outside. The ballroom was newly redecorated in the French style, amusing really considering we were currently at war with France. Yet I had to remind myself it was all about appearances and if the French style was all the rage, the sheep would surely follow. Did they not realize how vapid their existence was?

How did my life come to this? I should have it all, I'm Edward Masen! Instead I am surrounded by the insistent and sometimes dangerous female species. All claim to be virtuous, but I know better.

Few and far between are virtuous anymore.

They all want the same thing; what I stand for, not who I am. I am willing to wager that if I didn't have Pemberley, a fortune, and an impeccable family tree, none of these incessant harpies would give me another thought.

But this is the life I was born into, and it is my responsibility to marry a woman of quality and fortune. I have always thought I would be able to find a woman whom I could love, like my father loved my mother. Yet, in all my searching I have become more disgusted with the meager offerings placed before me and have decided to give up entirely for the time being.

For now I will focus all my efforts on helping my friend, Emmett, gain a good footing in society. Emmett's father came into money after a successful venture in trade. His son will benefit from all the things society has to offer those of us with money.

Emmett is everything I am not; easy going and free. Sometimes I find myself envying him because he has no family expectations. Emmett is content to think the best of people; yet I, as he constantly reminds me, am doomed to think the worst.

"Edward, Edward…!" I was pulled from my reverie by a familiar booming voice.

Emmett had found my hiding spot, damn it! I had found a rather secluded alcove where I could observe without being bothered.

"Yes, Emmett," I replied impatiently.

"I will tell you now, I have no intention of dancing so just give up now."

_More like I am hiding from your harpy of a sister._

As if reading my mind, "Edward, Tanya has been looking for you everywhere, hiding again I see."

Rolling my eyes, I replied.

"Emmett you and I both know she is barley tolerable, and her voice is enough to make small children cry, she will never give up; so I am simply staying out of her way."

As expected, Emmett started laughing; he always found this so amusing. I was unsure if it was my pain or the fact his sister was daft that entertained him so.

"Edward, you know I don't like the way she fawns over you, but she never listens. She only hears what she wants anyway."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, willing myself to calm down

"Emmett, out of all the females in this wretched place she is the absolute worst!

"Not only does she have some fanciful notion that we are fated soul mates, but she embarrasses herself with the accidental bumping and touching."

_I hardly needed add that my aunt would not be pleased no matter how high Tanya's opinion was of herself. Maybe the old bat could be useful, _I mused_._

"You know she is just trying to get your attention."

HA! Attention indeed!

"Emmett, I swear I am shocked she can even _breathe_ with the corsets she tries stuffing herself into."

That made me shudder.

And there it was again, the loud booming laughter. Even though we were so different Emmett seemed to put me at ease, draw me out so to speak.

"Edward, I will never understand half the things she does. Come on, if we stay close to the edge of the crowd we should be able to hide from her together."

That was the best plan I'd heard all night!

We made our way cautiously along the edge of the sea of people; I never liked walking through crowds. It was always the same thing; either I was groped, fell upon, or my personal favorite, proposed to.

These women have no shame.

We were able to reach the bar with little incident. With brandy in hand, Emmett was fidgeting, he seemed nervous.

"Edward, I have a proposition for you."

"Yes, Emmett." I was intrigued; usually life was nothing but games, and sport to him.

"Well, as you know, I need to find an estate and soon."

_Ahh, so this was what he wanted_.

I was pleased; I had been pushing him in this direction for months.

"Yes, Emmett, I know." He looked excited, giddy even.

"I found one! The estate is in Hertfordshire, it's called Netherfield."

He was so excited I was afraid he was going to wet himself.

"I went ahead and took it. I will rent it for a year with the option to purchase later."

I was shocked; Emmett had done this without consulting me?

"Well, I think congratulations are in order. I am proud of you, this is a huge step."

Emmett was beaming.

"I am especially happy you decided to try it out before buying. You never know what kind of people you will have as neighbors. If they are completely intolerable you can always give it up."

"Edward, I'm not as difficult as you are to please; not everyone is a cynic.

"In fact, I have every intention of enjoying myself."

Ah, this is what I was concerned about. Emmett was as apt to falling in and out of love as the moon was changing, and at about the same interval.

"You know the likely hood of finding a good potential bride in that part of England is slim. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't all hay-gathering sycophants."

"Edward, you are the most jaded man I have ever met. Not all people are bad you know. But enough of this lets enjoy to rest of the party."

As if the fates heard his request the shrillest most horrible of sounds found my ears.

"Eeeeedward, Eeeeedward!"

_Oh hell, it was the Shrew. _

Her dulcet tones were enough to break glass.

"Damn it Emmett," I hissed.

"Oh come on, take it like a man. I do," he whispered.

"Yes, well she will never have any romantic designs on you."

I raised my eyebrow, taunting him.

"Thanks for that image. I may just abandon you with her if you keep that up."

Just then my senses were assaulted by the rankest perfume I had ever smelt. My stomach nearly purged right there.

"Edward, I found you, I have been looking everywhere for you," the Harpy trilled.

Slowly turning, I was blinded by the brightest shade of orange imaginable. I am a man, but even_ I_ know that clashes with her skin tone.

Trying my hardest to be civil, I said,

"Yes, Tanya, your brother and I were discussing private matters. As you..."

"But Edwaaaard," she whined, "you know I want to dance with you, are you going to at least save me one?"

I have never wanted to kill another human being in my life, but this woman would very likely be the end of my patience.

"No Tanya, I have no intention of dancing, as you very well know I dislike it."

And just to allow no mistake.

"There is no one here I find worth my time to stand up with, so the time spent would be pointless."

_There, let her chew on that. _

I quickly bowed and walked away. Emmett followed behind, undoubtedly to get away from her as well.

"Edward, I wanted to ask if you would go with me when I take possession. I need someone I can trust."

Talking faster, as though he needed to get whatever out before I could say no, he continued.

"I know you are busy and it's hard to leave Alice, but I could really use your advice."

_Ah, Alice, yes it was hard to leave her since... No, I would not think on that, not tonight._

"Yes Emmett, of course I will go. Will it be merely a few weeks for the shooting?"

"Um, no." Hesitating he blurted out...

"Tanya, Lauren and her husband will be coming as well."

_WHAT!_

Sensing my panic he immediate backpedaled.

"I couldn't leave her here, and she insisted on going."

Oh, my life was going to be hell.


	3. Beginnings

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice. **

* * *

**_McCarty house, Grosvenor Square_**

Loading the trunks took longer than I had expected, we were supposed to have left no later than midmorning. I, however, underestimated Tanya's ability to leave without making a spectacle of herself. If it was possible to gain attention in any way, you could be sure she would exploit it to the fullest. Not only had she taken a full hour longer than planned to be ready this morning, she had just spent the last hour ordering around and insulting the servants on the right way to arrange her trunks. How many trunks could one person need? Surely she did not require that many dresses, not even Alice traveled with that many.

_Ah, Alice… _

I was reluctant to leave her, yet she seemed strangely at peace with me going. She even went as far as encouraging me to go. My little sister knew something, yet she was not going to share it with me.

**~I~I~I~**

**_Two weeks prior_**

_Alice and I sat in the Music room. She had just finished playing a new piece she had been practicing._

"_Alice, Emmett has asked me to accompany him to Hertfordshire. He is considering an estate in that county and would like my opinion." _

_I was afraid to leave. She had been doing so well as of late. I was afraid my absence would cause her to have setbacks, and that was something I was not willing to risk. If she told me she needed me to stay I would cancel my plans with Emmett. Nothing was ever put before Alice; she was my only family, my world._

"_If you want me to stay I will cancel my plans immediately."_

_I tried to seem as composed as possible; I didn't want her to feel like a child._

"_Edward, I have a feeling this will be good for both of us. Even though the absence will be difficult to bear, I really think you should go." _

_She smiled her knowing smile; it was something she inherited from our mother. Our mother had a way of knowing the future, so to speak. She would get a good feeling and her instincts were_

_almost always right. Alice seemed to have this same ability._

"_I have arranged for Jasper to watch over you while I am away. He will protect you." _

_Her face lit up at the mention of Jasper's name._

"_Thank you Edward!" She cried with delight. _

_The Whitlock's and the Masen's have been close for generations. Mine and Jaspers fathers were so close that they named Jasper and I guardians of Alice, should anything ever happen to them. Jasper and I have been friends since we were boys, attending school together until we parted ways. Jasper left to the military and I to Cambridge. Even through the separation we remained close. During the difficult time with our parents death Jasper was a calm source of comfort to Alice and I. He was invaluable to me during the dark time with James, a time I wish I could forget. _

"_Of course, little one, there is no one else I trust like Jasper."_

_She was jumping up and down with excitement and ran to me, enveloping me in a hug._

"_Thank you, thank you Edward! I could not ask for a better brother." _

_She always seemed to make the inadequacy's I felt disappear. _

"_You know very well there is nothing I wouldn't do for you, Alice. I would take on the world for you."_

_Sighing, she replied. "I know Edward, but it is time for you to find that person that completes you. I can't be the one holding you back from being happy; it's not fair to you. I have a feeling you will find what you have been seeking."_

_I rolled my eyes._

"_Alice, this is about you. I am perfectly content to be your guardian; I have no need of companionship right now."_

_Even as I spoke them the words seemed hollow._

"_Go Edward, I will be fine, you will write often and we will be in touch. You deserve some happiness."_

A loud crash pulled me from my reverie.

"If you are going to be completely incompetent fools I will have my brother dismiss you," the harpy trilled.

"We are your betters and as such, I expect you to do the job properly."

_Lord, does she not realize how utterly ridiculous she sounds_. _Honestly I am surprised Emmett is able to maintain a full staff at all, with what they have to put up with._

Just as she finished her tirade Emmett appeared.

"Tanya! You have no right to berate my staff. If you have a problem you will direct it to me, and I will deal with it. You will apologize immediately."

Emmett was a tolerant fun loving man yet he was fair and honest. How he and Tanya were related still mystified me.

Narrowing her eyes she directed her attention to the staff.

"My apologies, I will bring up your inadequacies with my brother in the future."

With that she ran into the house, no doubt embarrassed at being set down by her brother in front of myself and the staff.

Emmett was rubbing his forehead; I honestly didn't know what I could say. Tanya was his sister and his responsibility until she married. Unfortunately she was rapidly approaching the age where he could not give her away.

In a weary voice, he finally spoke, "Edward I am sorry for the late departure, we will be leaving shortly."

"There is no need to apologies, Emmett. I have some matters of business I need to attend to before leaving, and I will only be an hour or two behind you. I will be traveling on horseback either way so it would not make sense for you to delay."

Mentally I added, _and there is no way in hell I would be stuck in a carriage with that banshee._

"Your sure Edward, we would not mind waiting for you."

He gave me a look that said he knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Yes Emmett, I need to see Col Whitlock before leaving. He is caring for Alice while I am in the country. "

Sighing, he reluctantly agreed. He didn't want to be stuck with her any more than I did.

**~I~I~I~**

**_Boodles _**

I knew Jasper would be waiting, he was always punctual. I knew there was really nothing I could say to him that he didn't already know, but it made me feel better knowing we were on the same page. Ever since my parents died, leaving me at the young age of twenty one to assume my place as the head of Pemberley and care for an eleven year old sister. I felt nothing but inadequate; how could I give her the same special childhood our parents gave me? They raised me with the feeling of being loved and supported no matter my choices. I wanted to please them by doing the best job I could for Alice.

Reaching our normal table I sat down. Jasper looked up and nodded, he was contemplating something.

"Jasper," I greeted him with a smile.

"I know you will watch over Alice and that you will take care of her, I just needed to reassure myself. You know how she has been improving since the incident; I don't want her to relapse due to my absence."

Jasper seemed to take a moment before responding.

"Edward, you know I care for Alice. I will make sure she is happy and protected. I would never let anything happen to her." He seemed to hesitate, as if he was choosing his word carefully.

"Have you given any more thought to bringing her out next summer?"

Ah, so this was what he was asking. Jasper loved Alice, he may think I was unaware but I would be a fool if I was not able to see how he lit up every time he saw her. Yet she was seventeen, and Jasper was twenty-seven like me. I would approve of a marriage between Jasper and Alice, but it was still too soon for her. I decided the time had come to see what his attentions really were.

"Jasper, when do you plan on offering for Alice's hand?"

As I predicted, his carefully crafted calm cracked and he audibly gasped.

"Edward…I…" He seemed lost for words. And, just as quickly as it left the calm returned, he looked me directly in the eye before responding.

"I was planning on asking her at the end of her first season, that is if she will have me."

_If he only knew._

"Well, I have a feeling that will not be a problem. I couldn't find a better man for my sister, however, in the mean time; I would like her to enjoy her youth. She has been through too much in her young life."

Nodding, Jasper agreed and shook my hand.

"Thank you Edward, I know it is difficult to see her grow up, but your parents would be proud of the way you raised her." I thanked him and got his promise to keep me apprised of Alice's condition.

I left hoping she was right and I was riding towards my destiny.

**~I~I~I~**

_**Hertfordshire**_

I had been riding for a few hours, the countryside seemed pleasant enough. I could see Emmett enjoying himself immensely here. I was not hopeful that the people here would be of the caliber he needed in order to maintain a good reputation in town. It was imperative that he establish himself in an estate, surrounded by people with whom he could associate himself with. The wrong sort could do irreparable damage to his social standing. I knew I was being harsh but such was the reality of our world. However, I was willing to wait and make my assessment through observation.

I glanced at the horizon, a storm was moving quickly towards me. I kicked Blackjack into a gallop, eager to get to my destination before I was soaked through. As if someone was listening to my thoughts, the heavens opened and rain began to fall. Thunder and lightening was clashing through the sky. My clothes were soaked, making riding more difficult and uncomfortable. My wet breeches clung to my thighs chafing me as I posted in the saddle. Water was dripping from my hair onto my face. I reached up and loosened my neck cloth, using it to dry my face. I knew Netherfield was not far off, and it was imperative I reach the house soon.

Lost in my thoughts I enjoyed the sense of peace I always gained from riding. The trees became a blur of differing hues of green, all blending to make a peaceful backdrop. I always loved the smell the rain brought out in the trees, that earthy musk, it reminded me of home. Drawing in a deep breath, I thought of my parents who had raised me with a sense of duty and responsibility. My father had taught me the importance of the position we hold in society.

As if unbidden, my father's words sounded in my ears.

"_Lesser men have bent under the pressure we have to bear. Such is our burden and responsibility, not only to our family but to all the families who depend on us."_

And a hefty burden it was. I, as the master of Pemberley, was responsible for the well being of my family, and the tenants who depended on Pemberley for their livelihoods.

As I neared the estate I caught sight of a flash of color up ahead moving in the road. I slowed and caught up quickly. It was a woman, walking in the storm; she was paying no mind to the fact that it was pouring rain. Her face was lifted toward the sky and her arms were stretched out palms up, the drops falling softly against her skin. Her walk seemed almost like a dance, timed with the thunder as it rolled across the countryside. So focused was she on her task, she did not hear me approach. I took the liberty to asses her for injury, and was satisfied that she appeared unharmed. My eyes traveled up as I took in her appearance. She was of petite build; her long brown hair was loose and wet from the storm. On closer inspection I could see that the dress she wore was completely soaked as well. I needed to get her dry as soon as possible. I asked a silent prayer that she was not an escaped lunatic; I was not of the mind to deal with that right now.

"Miss?" I asked as I dismounted.

Her head immediately snapped up, her eyes widened in surprise. On first glance I could tell she was beautiful, yet that is not what drew me to her. Her face was perfect; porcelain skin, red lips, and brown eyes that seemed to go forever.

She was exquisite.

Taking some time to compose myself before going on, I cleared my throat before continuing.

"Can I be of assistance? I am heading to the Netherfield estate, and I would be happy to escort you home."

She looked at me and our eyes locked, it seemed as if the world stopped. And nothing mattered.

As if determined she responded.

"Sir, I was getting along just fine before you came and I will be fine after you leave." Her voice was like silver bells, angels could not have sounded better.

She turned and kept walking, obviously believing I would leave her alone. As if I would be so ungentlemanly to leave her unassisted in this storm.

Undeterred by her response, I reached out to grasp her arm.

She stopped, but did not turn around.

"May I be so bold as to ask your name?"

Slowly turning to face me, she replied.

"You, sir, should know better than to ask a lady her name without a proper introduction. You could be a villain or a cad for all I know," she challenged.

Smiling, I responded.

"Yes, my dear, that is true. While I can safely promise that I am no cad, you should know that not all villains are bad, just misunderstood."

Her face had a puzzled look as though she was trying to figure me out. Finally she replied.

"My name is Isabella; my father's estate is not too far from Netherfield." My heart soared; she was a gentleman's daughter. I silently thanked Alice for encouraging me to go.

"Well Isabella, my name is Mr. Edward Masen; it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

I needed to know if she felt the same strange pull I was feeling.

Taking her hand I slowly and gently put my lips on her soft ivory skin. It was better than I imagined; it was heaven. She smelled of lavender, I breathed in her scent and felt her tremble beneath my lips. It was a heady feeling knowing I had that kind of effect on her.

Trying not to lose myself completely, I returned her hand.

With an eerily calm voice she responded.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Masen."

We stared at each others eyes for a moment as if trying to understand this strange cosmic experience. Her lips beckoned me; I needed to feel them, to see if they tasted as good as they looked.

Bending down slowly as to not frighten her, I placed my lips carefully on hers. They were as soft as I had imagined, like rose petals.

I felt like I was home.

I deepened the kiss and she responded in kind. As soon as it had begun it ended.

"Mr. Masen I…"

The moment ended but I would not let her feel uncomfortable with what happened. I offered her my arm and she took it giving me an unexplainable sense of completeness. It was as if I had waited for her my entire life and had finally been reunited with my other half.

The rain has ceased and we started walking in the direction of her house. Neither of us spoke, there was no need. I had no concept of how long it took to reach her home, it could have taken years yet I would not have noticed. We reached her front gate and I bid her farewell.

I was sure about three things as I made my way to Netherfield, Isabella was a gentleman's daughter, she was stubborn and feisty, and she was perfect for me.

* * *

**Boodles is a London gentlemen's club, founded in 1762**


	4. The Assembly

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

* * *

**_Netherfield_**

Due to the late hour I was able to arrive without much notice. I was met at the stables by a servant who, after securing Blackjack, directed me to the house. Upon entering, the housekeeper informed me that the others had already retired for the night. She was given instruction to inform Emmett immediately upon my arrival. I did not want to trouble him needlessly on my account and asked her to let him know I had arrived safely, and would speak with him in the morning.

I was shown to my chambers, with the promise that hot water had already been sent for. My chambers were comfortable and tastefully decorated; all of my belongings had arrived ahead of me. Perhaps this would not be so horrible after all.

I stripped out of my wet clothing, desperately in need of a bath. I needed to clear my head; the consequences of my actions were not lost on me. By honor, I would now have to consider myself bound to Isabella if she wished it. I had been careless and rash for the first time in my twenty-seven years, yet I could not bring myself to regret what happened. Isabella's fiery spirit called to me, causing me to forget my responsibilities to my family, as well as my duty as Master of Pemberley. I was intrigued and wanted to know more about her, yet I also felt an overwhelming urge to protect her.

I needed to sort through these feeling before I completely lost myself.

The bath had gone cold by the time I felt somewhat composed. I dismissed my valet, preferring to have my privacy. His assistance was not needed as I rarely wore clothing to bed; the exemption was during the cold winter months. I fell into bed and sleep overcame me quickly.

I woke early, as was my usual routine, dressed and went down for breakfast. It seemed everyone was still in bed so I took advantage of the solitude to reflect. I thought a good nights rest would grant me some clarity on the situation, yet it only served to cloud my thinking even more. My dreams offered me no peace and I felt myself grow warm at the thought of yesterday.

_Isabella with her long wet hair, dancing in the rain, her stubborn, defiant eyes… _

I needed to distance myself from her; it was the only way I could see if this connection was real, or just my desperate imagination. I had been informed of an assembly we were invited to attend tonight; I would start my observations there.

I was convinced Isabella would be nothing more than the same insistent females I fought off on a daily basis. I would go and prove it was nothing more than a minor lapse in sanity. If her family proved to be beneath me I would sever all contact with her. It would do no good to either of us to raise the hopes of a match which could never take place. In doing so, hopefully she would determine I was not worth the trouble, and would not press any obligation I had to her. This sounded like the best course of action.

Yet why did I feel so hollow?

I was so lost in my thoughts, I did not hear Emmett enter the breakfast room.

"Edward, you made it! I was worried we would need to send out a search party when you hadn't arrived before dark." He looked visibly relived.

"My business with Col. Whitlock took a bit longer than I anticipated; I got a late start and was caught in the storm."

_I planned on keeping my encounter with Miss Swan to myself. Hopefully till the day I die, _I mused_._

"I was shown to my room and, since no one was about, I went to bed early. I apologize for any inconvenience I might have caused." Trying to change the focus from me, I enquired. "Have you heard from any of your neighbors?"

As expected it worked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am expecting two gentlemen this morning, a Mr. Swan and Sir William Stanley."

Ah, a knighted gentleman, maybe this area was not a total loss.

"When do you expect them?"

"They were going to call at ten this morning. I wanted to enquire more about the families in the area, the sport, as well as the assembly tonight."

Interesting, so far he seemed to have everything under control.

"How did you find Meryton?"

He seemed to hesitate, which was never good.

"It seemed cozy, and the shops were varied and interesting."

The Harpy could not have timed her entrance at a better moment.

"Emmett! I cannot believe you are serious about staying here. The shops were ridiculous. I can hardly believe anyone would find anything worth buying there. Not to mention the families seem to think it acceptable to allow their daughters to run wild around the streets without proper escorts. Why, there were two chasing after officers like wild dogs, it was absolutely obscene." she screeched.

At this point I was trying my hardest to tune her out, by concentrating on each bite of my now dry toast. However, it wasn't working; no matter how hard I tried her shrill tones made their way into my brain causing my head to ache.

"I will have to send to London for everything, really it is most inconvenient. I am sure Lauren would agree. Her husband's estate is at least close enough to London that she does not have that issue," she sneered

_Had she even drawn breath during that whole tirade? Amazing. _

Finally Emmett's patience snapped.

"Tanya, so far I have been pleased with what I have seen and have every intention of settling here. You will learn to like it, or you are free to leave and stay with the family in Scarborough, I will send you today if you prefer." His tone had a note of finality, which for once silenced her.

Emmett knew how she felt about that place; it was in the north of England far away from everyone and anything important. To her that was a fate worse than death.

Tanya huffed and turned to complain to her sister, Lauren, who had just come down. Lauren had married a Mr. Tyler Crowley, a semi wealthy gentleman with a preference for drink and sport. The majority his time was spent passed out from too much port, and was little trouble to Emmett and I. After finishing my breakfast, I excused myself. I wanted to tour the grounds, which would also grant me a good excuse to avoid unwanted company.

The grounds were promising; a few years of care and new growth and they would be as good as any other estate. The woods surrounding Netherfield had a wild sort of nature to them.

_Similar to Isabella…_

I banished that thought; it would do no good to dwell on her right now. I did not want to get attached to what I was certain was only an illusion. All females were the same, Isabella would be no exception.

It was well after eleven by the time I reentered the house. I sought out Emmett; wanting news on how his meeting with the gentlemen went. I found out that Sir William Stanley had two unmarried daughters, one that was of spinster age, the other very young. Mr. Swan had five daughters, ranging in age from twenty three to seventeen.

The sport here was to be mediocre at best, and even though they were gentlemen they would be considered beneath my notice. I was, so far, unimpressed with what Hertfordshire had to offer in terms of society. The assembly tonight was looking less and less appealing.

**~I~I~I~**

**_The Red Lion_**

We were late due to Tanya and Lauren insisting on a change of clothes. They said it was to make a good impression, but Emmett and I knew better. They wanted to look as fashionable as possible so they could spend the evening looking down on everyone else. I understood the need to preserve distinction within the classes, yet they were being absolutely ridiculous. They were dressed in what I would assume was their very finest ball gowns and jewelry. What did they think this was, St. James court?

I was laughing inwardly at their own perceived self importance.

As the carriage pulled up in front of the Assembly hall, my first impression was that of a decent yet small sized hall, not at all what we were accustomed to in London.

"Edward, are you ready to meet some ladies?"

I sighed.

"Emmett, I have no intention of meeting anyone here, let's just get this over with. Shall we?"

The harpy descended the carriage, almost falling due to the weight of her gown, no doubt.

"Emmett! What a ridiculous notion. Edward would sooner find a new housemaid among these people than a potential wife. I will personally see to his amusement this evening," she trilled.

_Oh lord_…

The possibilities were causing my brain to scream retreat. I was eyeing the horses carefully tied near a watering trough, it would not take much for me to make a quick getaway.

Emmett decided to take pity and save me.

"Tanya, Edward has no intention of being noticed this evening; you will please stay by Lauren. I would like the neighborhood to gain a favorable opinion of us. I know you can make a good impression if you try, please behave."

I smirked inwardly, how Emmett was able to say that with a composed face was beyond my comprehension.

Tanya stomped her foot showing her displeasure, yet she would never cross Emmett. He held the power over her money and could just as easily cut her off, leaving her destitute.

"Enough! Let us enjoy ourselves shall we!" His enthusiasm always astounded me.

As the doors opened I expected the entire assembly to cease and gawk at us like animals at the zoo. Yet the music continued, and the people paid us no mind. The Hall was filled to capacity, making the air stifling. Groups of people lined the edges to the hall, laughing and talking. The couples in the middle danced excitedly with their partners.

The Banshee, never one to be ignored, or outshone, made her presence known.

"You would think they would know to show proper respect. We have chosen to lower ourselves to attend this…_gathering_." Her shrill voice was loud enough for many of the surrounding people to hear.

The silence that ensued was deafening. I could feel every eye straining to get a better look at us. The crowd parted, and we made our way slowly toward the back. Once we reached the end of the hall a gentleman stepped forward and bowed to Emmett.

"Mr. McCarty, we welcome you to our little assembly." Emmett bowed and returned the greeting. After introductions were made, the music resumed as did the dancing.

My eyes carefully scanned the room in search of Isabella; I knew it was foolish, but I desperately needed to see her again. The sea of bodies made it nearly impossible to distinguish one person from another, even for my tall frame. It was entirely possible she was not even here, and I was being foolish.

"Sir William, may I introduce my friend, Mr. Edward Masen."

I pulled my eyes from the crowd and turned to give the man a quick bow before continuing my observations. However, that was not to be my lot it seemed.

"Mr. Masen, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. May I introduce my daughter, Miss Jessica Stanley."

_Ah, how predictable_.

A young woman stepped forward and curtsied to Emmett and I. She was unremarkable looking, appearing to be on the older side. She would no doubt have a very difficult time finding a husband.

Emmett spoke up. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Stanley."

Emmett was nothing but polite, yet the poor girl smiled as if she had just been proposed to.

_How sad._

Sir Stanley, apparently unaware of our disinterest, went on to introduce the next family.

"And I would like to introduce the Swans, sir."

A lady, along with what appeared to be a harem of girls, stepped forward.

"This is Mrs. Swan, Miss Victoria, Miss Angela, and Miss Bree."

As soon as he finished, Mrs. Swan launched into her own welcome.

"Sir, I can not tell you how excited we are about your arrival to the neighborhood! I have five daughters, the two eldest are currently dancing. Victoria is my youngest, Angela and Bree. They are all fine girls."

Good Lord, she was one of those tabby cat mothers, saddled with too many daughters, trying to marry them off to any gentleman, and if the gentleman had money so much the better. I vaguely recalled Emmett mentioning a Mr. Swan, who came to call this morning; he was a gentleman of little means who had an estate near Meryton. I determined that this family, as well as the others, was not the best choice for Emmett in which to find a potential bride. In general Hertfordshire society was a disappointment.

Just then the crowd parted and a blonde woman walked toward us. Emmett's eyes immediately went to her. She was tall with a sweet innocent look about her; with her piercing blue eyes she looked up at him and smiled. I could see Emmett falling for this one; she was exactly the type of woman that Emmett was attracted to. She turned to me and I could see her mother pushing her closer towards me. No doubt she had heard the gossip that I was worth considerably more than Emmett. At this point I could not bring myself to care if I offended anyone, I needed to get out of this place; it had tried every nerve I possessed.

"Sir, may I present my eldest, Miss Rosalie Swan, and the second, Miss Isabella Swan."

My eyes immediately went in search of those familiar brown eyes. She was looking down, avoiding my gaze no doubt. Was she embarrassed?

Emmett answered,

"Miss Swan, Miss Isabella, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." We both bowed to the ladies.

Isabella looked up and I stared into those familiar brown eyes. I was once again lost in her beautiful face; how could I have ever considered giving her up? And then suddenly the horrible truth hit me like a boulder; she was Isabella Swan, and her family was unsuitable. I could not entertain any designs with her, much to my utter and complete disappointment. I bowed in greeting and then turned in a vain attempt to gain control over my scattered thoughts. Hadn't I already resolved to give her up? Why, then, did I feel sick at the very thought?

Emmett's uncharacteristically soft voice brought me out of my reverie.

"Miss Rosalie, may I have the pleasure of the next dance?" She nodded shyly as he took her hand and led her away.

I could not look at Isabella, or I would be lost. I turned my back to them and strode away, quickly being swallowed by the crowd. I went in search of something to drink. The brandy was poor in quality, but at this point I was past caring.

With the brandy in hand, I searched the room, looking for Isabella. Watching her from a distance was safe; it would prevent me from repeating my mistake from the night before. I truly did not want to hurt her, but I had no choice in the matter, my family came first. I spotted Emmett easily, his face beamed as he danced, he truly seemed to be enjoying himself.

_At least one of us is._

I spotted Tanya and Lauren across the room, their expressions ranging from boredom to general disgust. I was unable to see Mr. Crowley; no doubt he was passed out somewhere, after partaking of too much brandy. I noticed the tabby mothers were gathered, all smiling and pointing to Emmett and myself, it was disgusting. In particular Mrs. Swan stood out as she was pointing in my direction, no doubt discussing my estate and vast fortune. One would think we were breeding stallions on the auction block.

The dance ended and another began, Emmett choosing to dance another with Miss Rosalie. Isabella was dancing and as the masochist I was, I choose to watch. She was as beautiful as I remembered; her face flushed with the exertion from dancing. I had not noticed her dress before, as I was too occupied with her face. She wore a simple yellow linen dress which flowed from her body. The bodice hugged her perfectly and showed just enough cleavage to make my imagination run wild. I could feel my body starting to respond and willed myself under control. It would not do to have an unsightly bulge in my trousers. In need of a distraction, I changed my observation to Emmett and his partner.

She was beautiful, and seemed happy to dance with him. However, her manners seemed to have a certain reserve to them, perhaps she was shy. She seemed to tolerate his attentions, yet was not overly excited by them either. Emmett had a practice of going a tad overboard when he was excited about something. As the dance ended, Emmett led her from the floor and came in search of me.

"Edward, you must come and dance, there are several pretty girls here."

My thoughts immediately went back to Isabella's face, her lips, and her smile. It made me angry; I could not have her, so why was I thinking of her?

"Miss Rosalie's younger sister, Isabella. She is very pretty; you should ask her to dance."

How is it possible that he would focus on the one person I am trying to stay away from?

Not wanting to be caught in my feelings, my reply came out colder than I wanted.

"Emmett, I have no intention of giving young ladies, who are so far beneath me, undue attention. Now please return to your partner and stop wasting your time with me."

Shaking his head, Emmett turned and walked back toward the dance floor.

I turned to find myself looking straight into the same pair of eyes that haunted my thoughts. They were full of shock, and anger.

Just then, Sir William decided to make everything worse.

"Mr. Masen, why are you not dancing? There are many desirable partners for you to choose from, sir. Miss Isabella, here, is very fond of dancing, and would make an excellent partner."

I was caught and had no choice. However, before I could respond, Isabella took the choice from me.

"Thank you, Sir William, but I am sure Mr. Masen has no intention of sullying himself by dancing with those who are beneath him."

_She had heard me,_ _Damn it!_

With a defiant look on her face, she turned her back to me and walked toward the crowd. I had lost her, even though she was never mine to begin with. I kept telling myself it was better this way; I had a duty to my family, and Isabella would never be considered suitable. My final thoughts did nothing to help the turmoil of emotions raging through me.

_How could something so perfect be so wrong?_


	5. Invitations

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

**_October 1812_**

It had been several weeks since the disastrous encounter with Isabella and I had never been so angry, nor confused, in my life. Her family had turned out to be everything I feared; brash and unpolished, far from the rank I would be expected to find my wife. Yet, Isabella surprised me. She did not fawn over me, nor did she seek my attention, in fact she avoided me all together. It was confusing to say the least.

Emmett had been in Miss Swan's company several times in the past weeks and his fondness for her seemed to be growing. I had yet to see any change in her demeanor toward Emmett, and was beginning to become concerned. It was no secret that Emmett was wealthy and would be a good match for any woman here.

The tabby mothers had long since given up any hope of catching me; I was apparently undesirable despite my income. It may have something to do with the general population's opinion that I was a proud, disagreeable man. Let them think what thy wish, especially if it kept them away.

The Harpy was not at all pleased with Emmett's apparent favoritism to Miss Swan, voicing her opinion whenever her brother was away. Although I agreed to a certain extent, it was his decision to make.

It was amusing, really. I thought hell would have to freeze over before I would ever agree with the shrew.

Thus far any engagements I attended, Isabella was either absent or would avoid me at all costs. I should be relived, I had managed to free myself from the entanglement of a most imprudent match, yet I was restless and unhappy. My poor attitude was beginning to reflect in my letters to Alice. I have only heard from her a few times, yet her concern was growing with each letter. Thinking back to her last letter, I realized just how concerned she was.

_Dearest Brother,_

_I am glad to hear you arrived, and am pleased you find Hertfordshireto your liking; I am however sorry the people are not what you expected. I hope one day you will take me withyou, I would very much like to see it. I am curious about the assembly you mentioned. Was it well attended, were the neighbors friendly and obliging? You seem more forlorn than is your usual, did something happen there? I just want to see you happy, it breaks my heart to see you so lonely. You are a wonderful person Edward, and the best brother any sister could ask for. I am well here, Jasper calls on me daily. I am grateful to him; I know his position leaves him with little time. I would hate to be a burden to him, yet selfishly I depend on his coming. My lessons are going well, I practice everyday, when next we meet I will have learned two new pieces to play for you._

_Take care Edward and know I think of you always,_

_Your loving sister_

_Alice Masen_

No matter how awful my mood she would always comfort me over herself. I resolved to put her mind at ease and write her today after my engagement with Emmett... I was to ride out with him this morning to inspect the estate grounds. The two shrews were to have lunch with a lady they had invited, giving us the opportunity to be out for the morning.

The Netherfieldestate, while not grand, was large and comfortable; I could see Emmett being happy here. The house itself was well built, with several windows allowing for adequate light. There were a number of expansive grassy areas that could be made into gardens. I pointed out various walks which I felt with a little improvement could become nice shaded areas in the summer. There was a stream to the west of the house which Mr. Swan had pointed out as having very good fishing. Although Emmett was not much of an angler, it would be nice to have the varied sport. The gardens to the east were in desperate need of shaping, I believe at one time it had been a sculpture garden.

We slowed to a walk, the horses were tired and in need of water.

"So, what do you think, Edward?" Emmett's expression was cautious.

"The property has a lot of potential. The house itself is well maintained and the grounds, with a little improvement, can be as fine as any estate."

"Surly not as fine as Pemberley", Emmett trilled, trying to imitate the harpy's voice.

"I will not have our morning ride sullied with talk of her, Emmett. If you want my help please move to a different topic."

"Very well, I'm sorry for goading you, Edward. Unfortunately you make it all too easy." He laughed.

"I really do appreciate the time you have taken to help me here, and for all of your advice. It really means a lot to have a good friend one can always count on." His expression was serious.

"There is another matter which I would like your advice. I have seen a lot of Miss Swan recently, and I really feel as if there is a connection there. She is beautiful and shy, yet I can tell there is a fire to her that is rarely seen by others. I truly feel I could be happy with her."

I needed to weigh my words carefully; while I did feel that Emmett could make a better match for himself, it was not my place to interfere in his choice of wife. Rosalie Swan was the daughter of a gentleman, and although they were not wealthy they still held that distinction. Emmett could afford to marry a woman regardless of her dowry. And he did not have the contention of rank preventing the match either. With each passing reflection I felt the chasm between Isabella and myself grow wider. It would not be possible for me to marry her, my mind was resolute but my heart was breaking. I was confused as to why I felt this way. I should be able to put her from my mind as easily as any other woman.

_Enough!_ I needed to focus.

"I think Miss Swan has many amiable qualities. From what I have observed she is beautiful and soft spoken and she seems genuine in all her opinions. I will caution you, however. The family, while being land owning gentry, is far from what I would consider a good match for you. Make sure of her feelings and yours before connecting yourself with such a family."

Emmett was quiet for a moment and I was beginning to think I had offended him somehow.

"Edward, I can see where your observations are warranted, and I thank you for being honest with me. I will take your advice and be sure of my feelings before acting further. As for the family, I know the mother and two younger sisters can be a bit overbearing."

Biting my tongue while thinking_, Is that what they are calling it these days?_

"I am sure the younger sisters will calm down over time; you should know what it is like to have a younger sister. I am sure it wasn't easy raising Alice."

Blackjack whinnied as I pulled sharply on the reigns, halting our progress sharply.

_What!_

"I assure you, Emmett, Alice has never given me any trouble, and I would ask you not to include her in the same category as those girls!"

Angry at Emmett for bringing up the one topic which still caused me pain, I kicked Blackjack into a hard run. Emmett, though stunned, managed to follow close behind. I knew he was confused about what was wrong, but I could not offer him the truth. Alice's reputation was not something I would risk. I would apologize and hope he would leave it at that.

As we reached the stables I dismounted and handed off the reigns before turning to see a very apologetic Emmett.

"Edward, I am sorry, whatever I said to offend, I beg you pardon."

I was thoughtless; he did not have all the facts and did not deserve to think he had erred.

"Emmett, it is I who should apologize. It has been difficult raising Alice and trying to live up to the expectations my parents would have had of me. I just pray I have done a proper job."

My chest clenched with unspoken emotion. I rarely thought about my parents, it was still too painful.

"I am sorry Emmett, you did not deserve my temper and you have always been a good friend."

His face visibly brightened.

"Thank you for apologizing Edward, no offence was taken I assure you." He grabbed my hand and shook it vigorously.

"Shall we see what havoc my sisters have wrought this morning?" I may have apologized but I was not about to offer myself up as a sacrificial lamb.

"I am feeling rather tired Emmett; I think I may rest a bit." I believe I sounded convincing.

Laughing Emmett replied. "Not a chance, if I have to face them then so do you. What are friends for, remember."

Damn, how does he do that?

"Very well," I reluctantly agreed.

We entered the house and were immediately overtaken by a panicked Tanya. She actually looked frightened.

"Tanya, what's wrong?" Emmett said with real concern.

"Emmett, thank heavens you're home. Miss Swan has taken ill and I don't know what to do. What if I become sick?" She was screeching.

I rolled my eyes, whatever sympathy I felt immediately disappeared.

"Tanya, slow down. Please explain what happened," Emmett said in a calm voice.

"I invited Miss Rosalie over for lunch, and she arrived on horseback soaked through. We tried to warm her by the fire but by then she started having coughing fits and passed out. Do you think she is contagious, are we all going to die?"

She was borderline hysterical at this point and it was becoming ridiculous; it was likely just a cold.

"Did you send for a doctor, Tanya?" Emmett asked.

Tanya, still too far gone, only shook her head no.

Emmett sucked in an angry breath.

"I am disappointed that you would be so thoughtless about Miss Swan, only concerned about your own welfare. I know you would expect better if you ever fell ill."

With that Emmett strode away, no doubt to call a doctor and to see for himself the exact condition Miss Rosalie was in.

As soon as Emmett was out of ear shot Tanya visibly calmed, seemingly unfazed by her brother's set down. Lauren, who had stayed silent during the entire exchange, was sitting in the corner.

"We were able to have some conversation with Miss Rosalie before she passed out. Did you know, her relations are in trade and live in Cheapside?" She sneered before continuing.

"The uncle is a doctor and the sister's husband is an attorney. With these low connections Emmett cannot be serious about Miss Swan, and don't even get me started on the family."

_I did not ask you to speak at all, actually, I prefer when you say nothing._

I concentrated on the painting in front of me; it was the only way to maintain my calm.

I focused on the water's texture and colors, several blues all mixed together to create an impression of depth. The water looked unnaturally turquoise; the white sandy beaches looked exotic and inviting. No doubt this was offshore from Antigua or another plantation island in the Caribbean. The ship in the painting appeared to be a frigate, 17th century perhaps. The sails were unfurled and it looked as if it was painted as the ship was reading for its voyage. My eyes followed the intricate lines and detail…

"Edward! Are you listening? You must help us." Lord, could her voice sound even worse?

What was she asking? She wanted my help?

_Not a chance, I would sooner gouge out my eyes._

"Help you with what? I fail to see how I can be of any service in this matter."

There, although I had not heard her requests, my answer should be ambiguous enough to satisfy her.

"We need your help in separating Emmett from this Rosalie. She will ruin him and through him I, this should be of concern to you."

I am sure my expression was one of incredulous disbelief. She really believed she had a chance with me. It was just beyond pathetic.

"I have no intention of meddling in your brother's affairs. It is his decision to make, and as his sister, it is your duty to support him."

I'd had enough of them and whatever they were plotting, I wanted nothing to do with it. I strode to the door only to run into a very concerned and tired looking Emmett.

"The doctor informed me that Miss Rosalie is suffering from a cold, the fever is mild and should pass with rest. I sent a letter to Longbourn apprising them of the situation and to let them know she will be our guest until she recovers."

I could hear the shrew groan behind me, and quickly cut off any retort with my own.

"I think that is excellent Emmett, I hope the young lady recovers quickly."

"Yes, dear brother, she is such a dear sweet girl and we are so fond of her."

I had to hold in a gaff, how she could spew those lies with such false sincerity was frightening.

Having had enough I excused myself to clean up after this mornings ride.

After the trying and ridiculous display this morning I took the opportunity to walk out after taking lunch with Emmett. He seemed very concerned about the health and well being of Miss Swan. Emmett was a caring man, he was a loyal friend and would see to her every comfort. I was more concerned with how quickly he was becoming attached. Although I knew he could do better for himself in terms of wealth and family, Miss Swan seemed to bring out something new in him. Many of the women that caught his eye were only a passing fancy, forgotten a fortnight later. I kept walking in circles similar to my thoughts. The fall breeze was soothing with its cool crisp smell. The leaves crunched under my boots, their colors faded to brown from their brilliant fall hues. If Emmett was indeed serious about Miss Swan, I would support him. Although, once his marriage took place contact between us would be limited. Unless there was some way to separate himself from her family, perhaps another estate in a different county, far enough away to make travel difficult?

I turned again, walking toward the wooded area, still lost in my thoughts. A splash in the stream ahead interrupted my thoughts; I lifted my head to discover the source of the intrusion. Half expecting it to be an animal I was shocked with the sight of Isabella running across the stream. I stared at her in surprise; she had pulled her skirt and petticoat up in an attempt to stay dry. My eyes followed her stockings until they met a pair of creamy colored thighs. My brain was screaming to look away, this was not the behavior of a gentleman, but it seemed I had no willpower. Isabella walked towards me, flushed, wet and covered in mud. Her eyes were hard and yet they still had the glimmer I remembered from our encounter. I was unsure whether she was real or just an apparition of my overactive imagination. As she neared her somber expression left little doubt she was real, as well as the reason for her visit.

Curtsying, "Mr. Masen, I have come to inquire after my sister, if it is not too much trouble would you please take me to her?" Her tone was neutral, no hint of anger.

I took in her appearance and was shocked as I recognized that her boots, petticoat and part of the hem of her dress was caked in mud and dirt.

_Hadn't she just walked through the stream?_

"You came here on foot?" I enquired, still in shock. I mentally calculated the distance; it must have been at least two miles.

"Yes sir, as you see, I do not have a horse hidden behind me, nor a carriage. Otherwise I would have arrived sooner and would not have disturbed you. Now, if it would not be too much trouble could you please take me to my sister?"

_Yes, stubborn and feisty._

I did not want to provoke her further so I simply bowed and gestured for her to follow me. We walked in silence, neither one wanting to break the carefully crafted truce. I wish I knew her thoughts. I was positive she though of me as a villain. I had kissed her, and then flatly refused to stand up with her, not to mention insulting her. The only pressing question was why she did not press my honor and demand I marry her, I would have had to oblige. I imagine her mother knew nothing of our encounter. She would be at the Netherfield steps with a preacher in tow within the hour. Deciding it would do no good to dwell on it, I resolved to put it from my mind.

As we walked I focused on Isabella. I gathered from our two unexpected encounters that she was an excellent walker and must have a strong stamina for a female. Her hips swayed gently as she walked almost in rhythm to some unheard music. It was mesmerizing. She was beautiful, but that was not enough.

We entered the house and I escorted her up to her sister's room, where she paused before going in.

"Thank you Mr. Masen." And with that simple thanks she slipped into the room.

Later that evening Emmett came down for dinner, yet Isabella had chosen to stay with her sister. I was impressed with her devotion to her sister; she cared more for her than the possible advantage of dining with us. It was, however, puzzling.

After a rather quiet dinner, Emmett asked me to join him upstairs. He wanted to check on Miss Rosalie and Miss Isabella. As we ascended the steps Emmett was unusually quiet; perhaps Miss Rosalie was worse off than we thought. We reached the door to her chambers and Emmett knocked softly. An elderly man, whom I assume was the doctor, opened the door.

"How is she?" Emmett implored.

The doctor launched into long tiresome explanations about colds and fevers, yet I could only focus on the scene in front of me. Isabella was seated on the edge of the bed, her back to me. She was leaning over tending to her sister. With a cloth she repeatedly supplied cool water to her sister's brow in an attempt to break the fever. She had soft, careful movements, almost methodical in the way she moved her body, it was mesmerizing to watch. Her hair was tied back into a crude style, her face flushed from the warmth radiating from the fire. No doubt she was tired, dirty and uncomfortable. Yet none of that matter, all that mattered was her sister. Such devotion was impressive; I was stunned with every new facet of her character.

Emmett and the doctor were just finishing their conversation as I tore myself from the intimate scene before me.

"Well, if you are satisfied that a few days rest will aide in her healing, I insist she stay here until she makes a full recovery. Miss Isabella, I insist you stay as well. Your sister will want a familiar face as she is here with us," Emmett pleaded.

Isabella turned in surprise, no doubt she expected to return home tonight and come again tomorrow.

"That is very kind sir, you're certain? I do not want to inconvenience you."

"I am certain, in fact I insist." Although he was never a harsh man Emmett's size could be rather intimidating, yet Isabella seemed perfectly at ease with his request.

"Then I am happy to accept sir, thank you for all you have done for my sister." She looked down as she smiled, damn she was beautiful.

So soft it was almost a whisper, Emmett muttered.

"I only wish I could do more."

With that we bid them goodnight. As we returned to the others, I tried to process this new turn of events. Isabella would be a guest here; we would be thrown together more often. This would either end well or, I feared, very badly.


	6. Impressions

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

**Day One**

I slept fitfully, unable to reconcile the fact that Isabella was sleeping under the same roof. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, willing myself to find that control I had so stoically relied upon. I couldn't get the image of her tending to her sister out of my mind.

_It was so much like…_

No, I would not think on that now, I had not the willpower to go down that painful road right now. Deciding sleep was fruitless, I got up and, after dressing, made my way down to breakfast. It was very early; the sun was just gracing the eastern sky. Its reflection off the dew gently resting on the trees and grasses gave it a subtle glisten. The leaves and their various fall hues shone like a golden backdrop in the early morning light. It was October now, the fields were harvested and the land was being prepared for winter. I turned from the window as Emmett came into the Breakfast room.

"Emmett, this is rather early for you, is everything ok?" He looked very tired.

"Miss Swan had a bad night; I had to call for the doctor around midnight. Her fever was too high, and Miss Isabella tried everything to get it down. Finally, the doctor suggested dousing all the fires and opening the windows to chill the room. It helped, but I was so frightened, she could have died."

_A roaring fire, crisp linens newly changed, my mothers book laid gently next to her bed, a bed now empty._

Dismissing those memories, I replied.

"One never knows what fate will bring Emmett, but she is young and strong. I am sure she will pull through."

"Thank you Edward, you are a good friend." He sighed.

We ate in silence both, lost in our own respective thoughts. We were interrupted by a noise in the front foyer. Isabella passed quickly through the main foyer, carefully as to not disturb anyone in the house.

"Miss Isabella," Emmett called.

She stopped and turned, her expression one of shock at anyone being awake at this early hour. I am sure she assumed the house was still a bed.

"Please come sit and take breakfast with us, you must be exhausted."

Although I had no earthly reason for my interest, I wanted to know how she fared last night. She looked tired and worn, the events of last night must have really taken their toll.

"Thank you Emmett, but I would like to return to my sister. I will take breakfast in her room, if that is agreeable," she said directly to Emmett.

Was she trying to avoid me?

"Whatever makes you the most comfortable, may I enquire as to how your sister fares this morning?"

"Her fever is down and she was sleeping when I stepped out for a walk."

Isabella was speaking and looking at Emmett as if I was not even in the room, and it bothered me, though for reasons I choose to ignore.

"I will be sure to keep you abreast of her condition. Thank you again for everything you have done."

And with that she quickly fled the room as if she could not get away fast enough.

"Edward, should I send for a physician from London?" he asked immediately after Isabella left.

"I don't see any need for that, the doctor here seemed capable."

I didn't see any reason for Emmett to involve himself any further publicly than he already had. There was bound to be talk as it was. I did not want a perceived attachment to form based on Emmett's charity to Miss Swan. Even if he did indeed have feelings, any attachment should be entered into with both people in agreement, forced marriages were never happy.

"If she does not improve within the next few days I will send for my personal physician; he is discrete, as well as very capable. I do not want you entangling yourself by association, simply because you are being kind, "I added, hoping to placate him.

_Although I have no doubt the Tabby mother was behind her soaking wet ride in the first place._

"Thank you Edward, I know we were to go shooting today, but if it is agreeable, I would prefer to stay close to home today. Perhaps a short ride?"

He really was far gone; Emmett was giving up shooting, to be near a sick woman.

"That will be fine Emmett, I know I may be your guest but as your friend you need not trouble yourself with my amusement."

"Well, we all know how high maintenance you are Edward." He smiled.

I simply rolled my eyes and left to ready myself for riding.

The day seemed to move slowly, Emmett and I were only gone an hour before he insisted on returning to the house. He was impatient the entire ride, his attitude had annoyed me to no end. His attachment to her had come on entirely too quickly. He was acting like a suitor and that was a disaster. I would need to speak with him quickly and caution him on his behavior; before he found himself shackled and married.

I filled the afternoon with reading, I had only seen the Netherfield Library on my original tour and was eager to acquaint myself. Although its size could not compare to Pemberley, it was adequate in both size and quantity.

I found several classics in which I enjoyed, and delved into reading. I knew I was safe here, I doubted the Harpy had even set foot in this room, let alone read any of its books. Shaking off that awful thought, I was quite sure I would have an afternoon of solitude. My mind, however, wandered to Isabella and I wondered what she was doing right now. She had forgone sleep to tend to her sister; it was a sign of devotion that I admired. Yet her manners toward me were puzzling. I expected anger, or worse attachment, yet all I got was avoidance. I don't know which one I wanted more. It was all so confusing.

Realizing I had wasted almost a full hour on my ridiculous mind wanderings, I replaced my book and went in search of Emmett.

I rounded the corner and heard Emmett talking to someone.

"In here is the music room, you are welcome to use it whenever you feel the need, I know music can be a great soother. I truly admire your devotion to your sister, you really care for

her."

I felt like I was intruding on a deeply emotional conversation.

"Yes, she has always been there for me, she is my best friend and I would do anything for her," Isabella whispered.

She had a beautiful voice; I would never tire of hearing it.

"Please let me know if there is anything I can do, I feel like I am of no assistance," he pled.

"But sir, you have done so much already, I cannot ask anything more of you."

She was absolutely sincere in her reply.

"Well, you will inform me if there is anything else I can do?"

I don't know what prompted me to speak, but she had to understand that I cared about her sister's recovery; I chose to make my presence known.

"Good day, Miss Isabella. I trust your sister is faring better?"

Both Emmett and Isabella looked in my direction, surprised by my sudden entrance.

Her eyes met mine and before I could tell if she was pleased to see me, she looked away.

"Yes sir, I believe she is a little better, thank you for your concern. Emmett if you will excuse me I must return to her."

With those few words she ran, as fast as she could walk.

"Good Lord, Edward, you sure know how to repel woman, they literally run away from you. Though for once this one was not in tears, you're not going soft now are you?" he said, laughing.

I, however, found nothing funny in the situation. Isabella was avoiding me, and I wanted to know why. Logically it was I who should be avoiding her, not the other way around. The situation bothered me more than I wanted to admit.

"You know, Emmett, your humor can really be ill timed. How do you know she was running from me? She could just be concerned about her sister."

He had the audacity to laugh again. "Edward, she looked like a cornered mouse. I suspect she was trying to find her means of escape the moment you entered the room. Try smiling next time, who knows you might get her to say hello."

I was not finding his humor remotely amusing.

"Thank you Emmett, I'll be sure and take that under consideration. I will see you at dinner."

"Very well Edward, but you know life is meant to be enjoyed. I dare say with all your wealth and status you should be happy with life, most men aspire to be you."

I nodded and walked up to my chambers, my mind in turmoil.

Men aspired to be me?

I should be happy?

I was nothing if not content, but happy? I did not have the luxury of a carefree life, every action and decision I made reflected on my family. Others may aspire to be me, yet they had no comprehension of the responsibility that comes with wealth and status. It was my duty, and that was not something I was willing to sacrifice for my own desires and pleasure. I was a Masen, my parents had given me every possible earthly gift, yet they gave me so much more.

Their unconditional support and love.

I would not throw that away on an infatuation. Nor to act as other immature boys do while trying to find their place in this world. No, I was resolved, Isabella would prove to be unworthy of the time I spent thinking of her, of that I had no doubt. The infatuation would end and I would be free.

It would end tonight.

Dinner was an uneventful affair. I spent the evening wishing Isabella had decided to join us. The Harpy and her sister droned on and on about themselves. I dutifully nodded, but said nothing; I was not capable of forming words which would not come out harsh or belittling. Isabella was avoiding me, I was certain now. She had declined to join them for dinner, stating that she was there to care for her sister and did not want to disturb the family party, preferring to take her meals in Miss Swan's chamber.

So far I had only a handful of glimpses of her and it wasn't enough. It angered me how this woman, whom I had little contact with, could have such a strong effect on me.

It was madness.

After dinner Emmett and I retired to play a game of pool. I am lucky I wagered little, my mind was elsewhere and I played rather poorly.

"Edward, what is going on with you?" Emmett asked with a hint of concern.

"I am just tired Emmett, I have not been sleeping well, it is more than likely catching up with me." It was partially true, I had been sleeping poorly. However the reason why, was not something I was willing to share.

"Are you worried about Alice? If you are concerned about her, you are welcome to leave. I would not have you losing sleep over your sister, staying simply to placate me."

It was the perfect out; I could leave and essentially be rid of Isabella Swan, it would be only too easy. Yet I couldn't bring myself to do it. What was wrong with me?

"No, Emmett, she is well. In her last letter she seemed content. And Col Whitlock is looking after her, so I have no worries on that score. I promised you my help, and I intend on seeing it through."

Chuckling, he replied. "Just don't wager Pemberley until you get your head sorted out, though I wouldn't mind taking it off your hands."

"Sound advice Emmett. I'm off to bed, please give my regards to Miss Swan, and Miss Isabella."

Walking toward my chambers, I decide to get a book before retiring for the night. My earlier visit to the library had been satisfactory; I resolved to make better use of it. I quietly slipped into Emmett's study, intending on making use of the side entrance. I had no desire to suffer a surprise encounter with the harpy, forced visits were bad enough. Quietly opening the door as to not draw attention to any persons who may be present, I entered the library.

The room was dimly lit, no doubt for no one in particular. Although the library was not grand in scale it was suitable for a country gentleman. Cases of books lined the walls, with several cases lining the outer rim in a circular pattern. The middle contained two desks, and sets of sofas. It was a comfortable setting for reading and contemplation. The fire had long since burned out; I was confused as to why the staff would light a fire in a room no one was using. I knew Emmett read on occasion, when the weather was poor, but I could not imagine the other three wasting their precious time reading. I highly doubt the Harpy had ever read anything but the society pages.

Rounding the last set of cases, the sight before me rooted me in place.

Isabella was here, in front of me, in the library.

_What a brilliant observation Edward._

I backed into the shadows quietly to observe her.

She reverently moved her hands along the spines of the dusty volumes, almost as if she was caressing them. She would stop and pick a book, flipping through the pages before returning it to its place. I was unsure which books she was viewing, no doubt Shakespeare, or some other fashionably in vogue author.

Finally, selecting a book, Isabella strode from the room, unaware that I had been watching her.

_Had I just moved into the realm of stalker?_

I confess I was curious as to her choice of book and, before losing my nerve, I walked quickly over to the place she had selected it from. As I stared at the blank space where the book had been, I was shocked to see the volume to its right.

_Paradise Regained, by John Milton_.

Isabella was reading _Paradise Lost_. This was not at all what I was expecting, and I once again had to re evaluate my view of this woman. Would she never cease to amaze me? I closed my eyes and a memory of my father came to mind. He had just returned from London, having brought with him some new additions to the family library. He was exceptionally proud to add the Milton works, along side generations of others. I recall Paradise lost gracing my mother's bedside table just before she died. Her character puzzled me, what could a young woman find fascinating about the struggle between good and evil? Most young ladies only concerned themselves with gossip and acquiring themselves a husband. I needed to talk to Isabella, tomorrow I would attempt to engage Isabella in conversation, it was the only way I could satisfy myself that she was not what she seemed.

**~I~I~I~**

**Day Two**

After a few well placed hints, Emmett managed to coax Isabella from her sister's bedside. Miss Swan was making progress in her recovery. Her fever had broken and the doctor informed us that with rest she would mend. Emmett was visibly relived; he had spent another night pacing outside her chambers. Isabella joined us for dinner, which was surprisingly quiet. I was unable to account for the silence between the shrews. Normally they loved to monopolize conversation. I observed Isabella, who would answer Emmett's questions and then drift back into silence. I glanced to Emmett's left and noticed the harpy staring at Bella with a cold calculating stare, and it made me uneasy. I could not comprehend what Bella could have done to warrant such a look. Perhaps, she was just angry at all the attention her brother was giving to her and her sister.

I was still left with an uneasy feeling.

After dinner we retired to the drawing room. Emmett and his sisters were playing whist while Mr. Crowley was currently passed out on the sofa, his body contorted in the most unseemly manner. Isabella was seated in the sofa furthest from everyone, reading. I was writing a much belated letter to Alice. I had set out to complete my letter, and send it off in the morning. Fortunate for me, the game seemed to be holding their interest, and I was left undisturbed.

_Dearest Sister,_

_I apologize for the lateness of this letter, though time has passed quickly, the days feel like they last forever. I really have had a lot to do. Emmett and I have made a thorough inspection of the estate and I feel with some improvements, Netherfield could become a fine estate. The assembly was a nightmare, I felt as though every mother was eying me like a dog eyes a piece of meet. Though this is no different than London, somehow it felt more vulgar here. Now I have been myself, as Emmett so graciously informed me, and have since put a stop to all such foolish attempts to catch me. I met an intriguing young woman named Isabella Swan who, unlike the other ladies here, she pays me no attention._

"Edward, are you writing to dear Alice?" The Banshee dulcet tone caused me to drop my quill.

"Do tell her I long to see her when next I am in town, I would be happy to show her the latest fashions. She really could use another woman's opinion in her life."

I shuddered at the blatant implications; does this woman's impropriety know no bounds? Alice would be appalled, not only does she have an excellent taste in fashion, Tanya drives her about as crazy as she does me.

"I believe I have already conveyed your sentiments in my last letter," I replied curtly.

"Oh yes, but I think of her as a sister, and you know how I dote on her. I am sure she would be devastated not to hear from me."

_I f you only knew how she truly felt._

Not wanting to discuss this topic further, I simply replied.

"Perhaps in my next letter, I fear I am nearly done, and have not the space."

"She is such and accomplished young lady, I dare say," she continued and I decided ignoring her would be the best option.

_Alice I fear this will be no more than a passing amusement for you, but Tanya wishes to convey to you her greetings. She is currently amazing the room with all your accomplishments, and wishes to guide you in fashionable attire when next in town. No doubt you will be wearing her hideous shade of Orange, if she had her way. The absurdity of her notions were not lost on me, let me assure you. Enough, before I forget my previous thoughts._

I peeked over at Isabella to gauge her reaction to the conversation; she seemed unaware and continued to read her book. I wondered at her lack of interest and found it extraordinary; most young ladies would be dying for a bit of gossip.

Emmett finally decided to join in.

"Yes so many accomplished young ladies, they all draw, sing, embroider, it is truly amazing."

And this was exactly why I feared him making a poor choice, he could not see beyond appearances.

"Yes Emmett, but I feel there are not half a dozen woman whom I could call accomplished."

Isabella finally decided to join the conversation.

"Heavens, you must comprehend a great deal in the idea."

She looked straight at me, her eyes reflecting the same brilliance I remembered from our first encounter.

She was glorious.

I opened my mouth to respond, but the shrew beat me to it.

"Yes, my dear," she replied in mock civility.

"She must have a vast knowledge of drawing, music, singing, dancing and the modern Languages, to deserve such a title. But most important, a sophistication in her air, her manner of walking, as well as an excellent taste in fashion."

I snickered, did she really think she posses any of those traits?

I needed to add my own to the list.

"Yes, and expanding her mind through extensive reading."

The look of shock on the Harpy's face was exactly what I wanted. But Isabella made my victory short lived.

"I'm amazed sir, at you knowing half a dozen accomplished women, I really wonder at you knowing any!"

She had that defiant look in her eyes; she was testing me, finally!

"How can you be so severe on your own sex?" I truly did not find it impossible that a woman could meet such standards.

With a fiery stare, she parried.

"I have never beheld such a woman, surely she would be a fearsome creature to behold."

Emmett snorted, no doubt amused by our sparing, yet his sister seemed angry, and being one not used to being ignored, added.

"Miss Izabell, surly you know that it would be unfair for you to judge all ladies based on your limited knowledge. Let me assure you, there are many accomplished ladies among our acquaintance."

_Miss Izabell? Where the hell had she come up with that one?_

It was a low blow, no doubt a jibe at the differing circle in which we moved. I felt a need to respond in Isabella defense; however she had no need of my protection.

"Really Miss McCarty? I am astonished; when next I am in town, you must introduce me to these rarities. It would certainly be educational for us both."

Emmett's and my jaw simultaneously hit the floor; The Banshee had just been routed, thoroughly routed.

I felt an odd sensation creep up my spine, never had a woman so thoroughly captured my attention.

The room fell oddly silent as we returned to our respective devises; I needed to finish this letter.

_It is puzzling that unlike the other women, she has no interest in me, or my name. I fear she has a quick wit, and I am finding it excessively stimulating to spar with her. You would be proud to know she just thoroughly put Tanya in her place. I am sure Emmett will suffer for it later, yet it was worth it. I am glad to hear Jasper is attentive and looking after your wellbeing. I will write again when I have more to add. Remember to smile dear one, and know I too think of you always._

_Your loving brother,_

_Edward Masen_

I could not add how much Isabella affected me; Alice had a habit of seeing right through me. And right now, I had no desire to raise her hopes that I had finally found someone. It would only crush her when I could do nothing about it.

Suddenly the weight of loneliness was crushing me; I needed to get out of there as soon as possible. I sealed the letter quickly and excused myself, fleeing to the comfort and solitude of my chambers.


	7. Uninvited guests

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

* * *

**Day Three**

I hurried through my morning routine. I needed to post my letter to Alice before going out; I was in need of a good hard ride. I had been too restless as of late, and had a lot of pent up frustrations that needed to be released.

After paying the courier, I walked quickly to the stables where Blackjack was saddled and waiting for me. I checked his harness and reins, as well as the saddle. I really only trusted myself when it came to saddling my horse; it would not be the first, nor the last time, that a gentleman had been thrown from a horse due to the laziness of a stable hand. When everything was to my satisfaction, I mounted the saddle and with a nudge to his flanks, Blackjack took off in a gallop. "I rode hard; sensing my frustration, Blackjack didn't hold back." I pushed harder. After a good length, I slowed to a trot as we passed through the woods. The road was still wet from rain; I was not willing to risk injury to my horse or myself. I breathed in deep; the air was cool and damp. It was soothing.

I was still far from reconciling my feelings for Isabella she haunted my thoughts. She was beautiful and had a stunning intellect, as her reading habits would suggest. Her fiery spirit was perhaps what drew me the most. She was unafraid and justly put the harpy in her place. Yet this was not enough, _attraction_ was not enough, to throw away everything I had been taught simply for my own needs. I would be ostracized by my family; it would damage Alice's chances of making a good marriage. I could not justify my happiness if it meant hurting hers. Though I knew Jasper would marry her regardless, we would taint them by association, not to mention any children we had would also bear the burden.

I had a duty to my family, and I would not sacrifice their future for my own desires.

As I approached another lane I was still wrestling with my feelings. I cautiously stepped into the lane, turning my head to my left, expecting to see nothing. I was stunned to see none other than Isabella, standing in the middle of the lane, and I pulled back on the reins. Blackjack gladly complied.

We looked intently upon one another, but neither of us made any effort to speak. Isabella's complexion was flushed, as if she had been running. I noticed her eyes sparkled, no doubt from her walk, it seemed she was happiest when she was out of doors. I felt a pang of sadness that I would never see her eyes shine for _me_. I wanted to memorize her just as she was now, happy and free. I watched as her lips pulled into a half smile as she bent to curtsy. I expected a greeting, yet she said nothing.

I nodded curtly, and turned in the opposite direction.

As I rode, Isabella's face swam through my mind: her lips, beautiful hair, eyes, all those soft subtle features that made her exquisite. I was only cantering and yet the ride was becoming painful. Searching for the source of the discomfort, I realized my body had reacted to her presence. With each post and movement of the horse I came in painful contact with the saddle.

That I was embarrassed would be grossly understating the matter. One would think I was a mere boy the way I had reacted to Isabella. I had better control than this, being reasonably familiar with female attentions. It was a right of passage, so to speak, for fathers to take their sons to the courtesan houses to be made into a man. Though acceptable, I found the practice distasteful, and unlike most of the men of my stations that frequented the courtesans, I never felt the need to search out women.

I wanted more from the act than mere release.

After I calmed myself the remainder of the ride was relaxing, and I arrived at Netherfield in a much better disposition than when I had left. The half smile she bestowed upon me suggested I was partly forgiven, but I was unsure as to what I could do at this point to at least establish a decent acquaintance with Isabella.

I didn't want to leave knowing she hated me.

Miss Rosalie was well enough to join us in the music room after dinner; though she did not stay long, it was obvious her presence changed the atmosphere considerably. Emmett was constantly attentive, placing her near the fire, and providing her with whatever she required, much to the consternation of his sisters. The Shrews were kind in their own insincere way, and Bella sat near enough but didn't interfere with Emmett.

I chuckled at the excessively diverting scene in front of me.

Tiring quickly, Miss Swan retired for the evening. Isabella escorted her up to her chambers and then returned not long after. Emmett and I were reading, trying our hardest to avoid conversation. Lauren was sitting next to Tyler, who of course was not conscious. The Harpy was prowling the room, for heaven knows what reason. I hid behind my book hoping she would leave me alone. When Isabella returned, the Harpy pounced.

"Miss Izabell, do follow my example and take a turn about the room, it is most invigorating."

_Miss Izabell? _

I could tell from the look on Isabella's face it was the last thing she wanted to do, but she would never offend Emmett. She grudgingly stood and took her arm.

"Edward you are welcome to join us, the exercise is most beneficial,"she cooed, though her voice sounded more like a blunt object scraping down a pane of glass. I shuddered involuntarily

"You could only have two motives Tanya, and I would interfere with both, I imagine."

Momentarily shocked at getting any response from me, she recovered quickly.

"What is your meaning, Sir?" Looking at Isabella, I replied.

"Well, you either have matters to discuss that are private between ladies, and I have no desire to take part in that. Or you are conscious that your figures appear to the best advantage while walking. Thus I can best admire them from my current position."

My eyes never strayed from her, and I thought I could detect a hint of blush in her cheeks.

The harpy frowned and Isabella looked a little shocked by my statement.

"Abominable reply, how should we punish him then?" she trilled.

"I would think the best course of action would be to do nothing at all." Isabelle had recovered and looked unconcerned.

"Ah, but we must do something, such a speech surely deserves it."

"Well, I suppose we could tease him, laugh at him," she said with a smirk.

The Harpy grinned. Dear lord, it was frightening.

Just then her motives became clear. She was trying to trap Isabella into embarrassing herself.

"Oh my dear, one does not laugh at Mr. Masen. He is a man without fault," she stated with finality.

"Really, Mr. Masen, a man without fault? How extraordinary, and to think I have been trying so hard to find a fault in you."

"That is not possible, Madame, as well you know, I have faults just like any other man; however, I make it a point not to expose them as others do."

"Everyone has their faults, sir; it is what makes us human."

_Touché._

"However, there are those that neither try, nor care, to better themselves, in which case I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others." The thoughts of a man I once called _friend_ caused my reply to sound harsher than I intended. "My good opinion once lost is lost forever."

Sadly she shook her head. "Now that is a failing indeed, sir."

With that, she sat back down and picked up her book.

"Tanya, would you care to play something for us on the piano forte?" Emmett asked, no doubt trying to diffuse the tension.

The Banshee sat and played the most ostentatious piece she could. Every note got progressively louder. That poor instrument did nothing to deserve the beating it was receiving.

After she finished and it was evident the instrument had not been permanently damaged, Emmett asked Isabella to play. At first she seemed hesitant, but Emmett's enthusiasm seemed to win her over.

She carefully made her way over to the piano and began to play; it was soft and rhythmic. Each note was played with a purpose, nothing seemed forced. I was just settling into her piece when she began singing, her voice weaved a beautiful melody.

Her voice and style of playing was very similar to Alice's and my mothers, subtle yet poignant.

I was enchanted.

Watching her face as she relaxed into her song; the happiness she exuded was breathtaking. Her song finished and I found myself overwhelmed by my feelings for this woman. Isabella was slowly stripping away each impediment I had, every barrier I threw up. She had scaled an impossibly high mountain, yet she could never reach the peak.

It was impossible; my duty to my family forbade it. The sadness and frustration I experienced was palatable.

I could feel everything, yet nothing.

I retired for the evening with a sense of dread; my dreams as of late had a haunting sense to them. I was never able to remember exactly what they were, but I would awake in a pool of sweat.

I lay down and closed my eyes, picturing Isabella as I had come to know her. She was beautiful, strong, intelligent, and everything I would ever want in a wife. I felt myself drift as I let the images of her wash over my mind, what it had felt like to hold her, to kiss her.

"_Isabella…Where are you?" I called _

_I looked up and saw her at the top of the grand stair case. Her back was turned to me; perhaps she did not hear me. I called her name again, and she turned. As she looked at me she smiled, and it was beautiful. Bringing her finger up, she beckoned me to come to her. I smiled and began climbing the stairs. Before I reached the second stair, she turned and ran down the hallway toward my bedchamber. _

_I took the stairs two at a time, desperately in need to reach her. I saw the familiar oak door up head open and close, Isabella seemed well acquainted with the house. I ran faster upon reaching the door, I grasped the handle and threw open the door. I looked around at my empty bedchamber, confused. I called out to her, but received no response. _

_I heard footsteps lightly padding across the floor behind me; as I turned, Isabella stood before me in only her chemise. She went to stand by the fire and the glow lit the fabric, leaving nothing hidden. I could no longer contain myself; I went to her, pulling her into my arms. She looked into my eyes and smiled shyly. _

"_Edward," she whispered, from her lips it sounded like a prayer._

_I was consumed._

_My hands moved to her shoulder, pulling on the delicate fabric. I wanted, no, I _needed_ to touch her. I hungrily found her lips as my hand cupped her bottom, the other holding her firmly to my chest. Suddenly Isabella pulled away and looked into my eyes._

"_Edward, what do you want from me?"_

_I was stunned._

_I didn't know how to answer her when, I myself, had been struggling for answers._

"_I don't know," I whispered._

_Tears came to her eyes; one tear gently fell down her face._

"_Edward, I won't be your mistress I deserve better than that."_

_Mistress! _

"_Have I ever given you that impression, Isabella?" _

"_You kiss me and touch me, yet you are unwilling to give me your heart. What else can I conclude?"_

_With that, she turned and walked toward the door._

"_NO, Isabella, stop! I love you!"_

_I went to grab her arm and she disappeared._

_NO! _

_Thud…_

Jolted awake, I was dazed and panicked, sweat covering my body.

I had fallen from my bed; it was only a dream.

I sat on the cold floor, holding my legs close to my body. I laid my head on my arms, rocking back and forth, trying to find some semblance of calm. It was so real, every breath, every touch, every word, she captivated me utterly.

The realization hit me with a force I could scarcely comprehend. I had uttered words to her I had only told three people in the course of my entire existence. No matter that this was a dream, it was the truth.

_I loved Isabella Swan_.

**~I~I~I~**

**Day Four**

I knew, as daylight hit my window, that I was at a crossroads. My realization required that I make a choice. I knew that Isabella and her sister would be leaving tomorrow; I had heard her inform Emmett the previous day. Even though I knew it was only a dream, it seemed my subconscious was telling me something. I had kissed Isabella and only thought of the implications in a one dimensional way. It was apparent she neither wanted, nor expected, my hand in marriage.

I was at a loss as to why.

Was she betrothed?

My stomach churned painfully at the thought of her with another man. I knew it was irrational and unfair, yet I also knew that she would eventually marry.

"Damn it!" I pounded my fist onto the floor in utter frustration.

How could fate be so cruel? To dangle the woman of my dreams, my soul mate, in front of me.

She was within my grasp, yet I could not reach out and claim her.

I was nearly going mad with frustration.

I was going around in a ridiculous circle of indecision, and I needed to make up my mind.

I loved her, yet I could not be with her. To continue to vacillate between decisions was not only unfair to her, but to me as well. She deserved more, and I intended to give her that. I would end the confusion. She could never be mine, and therefore I would step aside.

It was this thought I carried with me as I ran to purge the empty contents of my stomach.

The four of us sat at the breakfast table when the butler came to announce the arrival of some guests. I was surprised as it was a bit early for people to be calling without an invitation. My opinion of the manners possessed by residents of Hertfordshire was quickly withering away.

"Sir, a Mrs. Swan, a Miss Swan, a Miss Swan, and a Miss Swan."

_Oh good lord, the tabby cat mother._

"Good heavens are we to entertain every Swan in the county? Is it not enough that we have two already?" The Harpy shrieked.

"Tanya, please, Mrs. Swan's daughter is ill and she is coming to check on her progress, can you begrudge her that? Besides, they are here on my invitation, so if you will kindly display the manners I know you posses, we would all be grateful."

_Manner! I think you should send her back to finishing school, Emmett, as she obviously missed those lessons._

We moved to the drawing room to join Mrs. Swan and her daughters. She was looking about the room; do doubt cataloguing the wealth before her.

"Sir, words can not express our gratitude for all you have done for my dear Rosalie."

_And all I hope you will do_, no doubt she was thinking_._

Isabella entered the room quietly, and took a seat on the sofa opposite her family. She seemed apprehensive, and dare I say a bit embarrassed. The change in her confused me, yet as the conversation continued the reasons became clearer.

"What a beautiful home you have here Mr. McCarty; such fine things, I can scarcely believe it. Why, these couches alone look very expensive." She rubbed the material possessively, as if she was claiming them for her own.

"How do you find the neighborhood sir?"

_More like, "How do you find my daughter"?_

"I find it very well indeed; the people here have been very welcoming," Emmett replied with excitement.

"And you sir, how do you find the society here?"

It took me a few seconds to realize she was talking to me.

"I find it completely sufficient, even if the society is less diverse than in town."

There, that was a careful answer.

"Not at all, sir. I would have you know that we dine with many families of all shapes and sizes. All are gracious, compared to those who think themselves better than those half his rank."

She was absolutely serious. It would be vulgar, if it was not so amusing.

"Mother, Rosalie seems to be doing much better. We plan on returning home tomorrow morning."

I looked at Isabella's face as it burned red; she was embarrassed at her mother's ridiculous comments. I felt an overwhelming need to protect her, to take her away from a mother who cared more for frivolous things than decorum.

"Oh Isabella, I see no occasion for that, she would be much better here than at home. One can never be too careful with one's health. Would not you agree Mr. McCarty?"

Emmett was about to agree, when Isabella cut him off.

"Mother we will be returning tomorrow, I am quite determined." Though not rude, her tone was firm, the mother was about to respond when she added, "I do believe, Mr. McCarty, that Rosalie is much better and the doctor has determined she is well. We appreciate your kindness in allowing us to stay at your home."

She really was a wondrous creature. Why did I think she needed protecting? I seemed to have already forgotten my resolve from this morning.

"Mr. McCarty!" The youngest squealed. "Remember your promise, sir, to hold a ball? You should invite the militia, they are excellent company."

"Oh yes, I love a ball!" Miss Angela squealed.

"Victoria!" Isabella looked completely mortified.

Emmett chuckled, "of course Miss Victoria, once your sister has fully recovered you can name the date, how is that?"

_Oh Emmett, you still have so much to learn._

Conversation continued, though on more mundane topics. I turned to face the window, my position allowing me to glance in Isabella's direction. She was still slightly pink, embarrassed by her mother's ill comments.

I ached for her, and was angry with fate that she should have such an ill bred mother. I wanted to take her away from her vulgar life and surround her with everything she loved. I had no doubt she would love Pemberley, the grounds and woods, and a library that would take her a lifetime to peruse. She could play and sing in the music room to her heart's content.

I just wanted to take away that pained look from her face.

_Wait, why was I picturing her this way? Had my dream taught me nothing? All I was doing was driving myself mad with hopeless dreams. _

I was glad of her departure. The sooner the better.

**~I~I~I~**

**Day Five**

The morning was relatively busy as the two ladies readied themselves for their departure. Emmett seemed unusually somber this morning, and I could not understand how he could be so affected in such a short period.

_Yes Edward, and you are one to talk_.

Emmett was seeing to their transportation home. He had insisted they take his carriage, and would allow no discussion on the matter. He and I were waiting in the foyer for the two ladies. No conversation took place; we both seemed to need some time for contemplation.

Miss Swan and Isabella appeared at the top of the stairs, Isabella assisting her sister carefully down each step. She looked beautiful; her dress was different, not at all like the others she had worn during her time here. It was simple muslin, but it was beautiful all the same.

Emmett and I escorted them to his awaiting carriage. I was panicking internally, desperately needing to touch her one last time. The feeling was becoming unbearable. Emmett helped Miss Swan into the carriage as I stood opposite of him.

As Isabella passed, I noticed she was looking down. I wasn't ready to let her leave without some small gesture of my affection for her. In a momentary lapse of judgment, I grabbed her ungloved hand to assist her.

The reaction was the same, the spark was still there. Isabella looked surprised by my public display, yet I could not bring myself to care what the others thought at this moment. This may well be the last moment I was to share with her, and I would take whatever I could get. No words were spoken, it wasn't necessary; we seemed to have the ability to communicate without the need for words. After she was situated I released her hand, turned and walked back to the house. My hand felt empty, the feeling now gone made me ache. I flexed my fingers, desperate to shake off the sensation.

I loved her; she was my heaven and hell, the one woman I had been searching my entire life for. I had resisted, and now she was gone.

I was safe.


	8. The clergyman and the foe

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

**November 1812**

_Dearest Alice,_

_I know it has been a fortnight since you last heard from me. I apologize, I have not been fit company as of late. I was unable to write words of neither comfort nor happiness, and would have made you unhappy. Therefore, I decided to wait till my mood improved before writing again. Have no fear, I am well. It is nothing more than a passing phase I am going through at present. I always prided myself on my ability to stay calm and collected in any given situation, to be discerning of the character of those around me. Yet I fear at every turn that ability is being tested. The only consolation has been my discussions with Miss Isabella. She truly is a remarkable young woman, intelligent, and witty. She held her own against Tanya, taking her venom and turning it back on her. I must admit it was one of the highlights of this trip thus far. Miss Isabella plays and sings very well, it reminds me much of our mother. She has the same force of feeling when she plays, not to mention her voice is captivating. I have very much enjoyed her company. I am happy to hear you have learned new pieces to play for me. I look forward to hearing them when I return to town for the holidays. I expect to leave Hertfordshire at the end of this month, till then you must supply me with details of what you are busing yourself with. What books are you currently enjoying, dear one? I miss our discussions and have a few books in mind for when I return. Take care and know that I love you dearly._

_Your loving brother,_

_Edward Masen_

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

_Dearest Edward,_

_I was pleased to receive your letters; I had been worried at not receiving a reply. I see that you have been occupied dear brother, more so than you dare admit. I am glad you are being of use to Mr. McCarty; he is such a nice gentleman. I was thoroughly diverted with your comments about Tanya being put in her place. She deserves it for all her false friendliness, her ability to turn a deaf ear to what people really think is astounding. I can scarcely believe she volunteered to help me with my clothes. That I would ever consider orange as a color for my clothes was laughable. But enough of her; I seem to be hearing a great deal about a Miss Isabella. I am happy to see a lady has finally caught your eye, Edward. You know that I can see right through you. I can never recall you mentioning a woman, much less devoting so much thought to her in one letter. She must be quite a special lady to have captivated you so quickly. I truly hope I will meet her soon. Anyone whom you praise with such fervor can be nothing less than extraordinary._

_As for me, I am well. I find that occupying my time is not as difficult as I thought. My music keeps me company, and I am content with reading. As you asked, I am currently reading poetry; be prepared, brother, for a lively debate. Jasper is attentive and has even taken to reading poetry. I have a feeling this is only to placate me, as I know he prefers philosophy. I told him he needed to broaden his horizons and he seemed thoroughly amused by my comment._

_I miss you exceedingly and look forward to the holidays._

_Your loving sister,_

_Alice Masen_

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

_Edward,_

_I am writing to apprise you of Alice's progress during your absence. I call on her daily and spend as much time as I can spare. We spend much time reading and discussing literature. Though I am familiar with many of the books she is reading, I confess I am not as well versed in poetry as you seem to be. However, Alice has determined this shall be remedied, and I am reading Scott and Byron at present. Thus are the sacrifices we make for those we love._

_On a more serious note, I am not able to come as often as I would like, as of late. The Major General is under significant pressure to send more officers to France. This seems to include even the younger sons of the Aristocracy. It appears that if they get their way, I will be shipped off to France forth with. I feel the need to be honest and inform you of just how poorly this war is going for us at present. Many men are dying, and officers are of no exception. This has become nothing less than a blood bath on the fields of France. Napoleon, it seems, is willing to sacrifice his countryman to retain his position. It is madness. That being said, I would not wish to raise Alice's expectations if I were to go to France and not return. I will delay any suit until my situation is not so precarious; I could never hurt her in such a way. I know you understand my reasons. I only pray Alice will._

_Your friend_

_Col. Jasper Whitlock_

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

_Dearest Alice,_

_I think back to my letter and I should have been more guarded with my words. You always were good at seeing straight into my thoughts, sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself. Miss Isabella, as you put it, is extraordinary, though I am afraid she has a rather poor opinion of me at present. My goal is to hopefully erase what little I can with the hope that we may part friends. I plan to leave here at the end of the month. Sometimes I very much wish our father were still alive. I could ask his advice knowing he would have sound council to help me through. Alas, I know that is impossible, and will draw from his teaching to help me through this difficult time._

_Emmett has made significant progress, and no longer requires my guidance. I believe he intends to stay at Netherfield for Christmas, thus you will be spared from unwanted advice. I received a letter from Jasper, and he seems all too happy to oblige you in you quest to broaden his horizons. Alice, go easy on him, dear one, you know very well he would do anything you ask. I may decide to throw in Plato to our discussions as retribution on his behalf. I do have some distressing news .Alice, have no fear everyone is well. Jasper at present is in a precarious situation. As you know he is under the command of the Major General, who keeps sons of those such as Jasper from being sent to battle. Despite what they say, if this war continues for much longer, every man, regardless of their parentage, will be needed. Let us all pray this never comes to pass. I want him to have no part in this blood bath. I am hopeful that all this worry will be for nothing. Just remember, Alice, we both love you._

_Your loving brother,_

_Edward Masen_

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

I carefully folded and sealed the letter, intending on posting it immediately. I emerged from the library, and nearly collided with two housemaids walking as fast as their feet could carry them. I confess their behavior struck me as a bit odd. Not one to care about the problems of housemaids, I continued toward my destination. I was about to round the corner when I heard an ear splitting voice.

"What does it take to get good help around here? No one is around when I need them! Its ecru! I asked for ecru, not beige! I refuse to be the laughing stock of this ridiculous town because you can't tell the difference between two colors." The Harpy was screeching at some poor servant who unfortunately was unable to getaway.

Deciding to take a detour, I turned in the direction the two house maids had gone, no doubt running from her as well. I laughed at the ridiculousness of her statement; the people here could care less about the colors, they were happy to be invited at all.

A fortnight after Miss Swan and Isabella had returned home, Emmett announced the date for the ball. The preparations were made and the invitations sent. The Harpy was an absolute nightmare, barking orders and issuing outrageous requests. She had brought Emmett's staff to the brink. I would be unsurprised if they didn't all up and quit by the end of the week. He had assured them it was her first time arranging such an event, and a huge amount of pressure to have everything run smoothly. Translated into lemans terms:

_She has no idea what she's doing and is making a fool of herself in the process, just humor me, and you will all get something extra in your wages this week._

I was always in awe of Emmett's ability to create such a feeling of unity; his staff though new was very loyal to him. If it had been people from London, they would have quit the first day.

After successfully maneuvering myself out of the range of fire, I posted my letter and went in search of Emmett.

As I was about to enter his study, Emmett opened the door unexpectedly. He looked at me then side to side before asking me to join him. He seemed to be acting strange.

"Edward, would you mind accompanying me over to the Swan residence? I have their invitation to the ball. I know it is forward, but I would very much like to deliver it myself and see for myself how Miss Rosalie fares."

Ah, that explains it.

"And I take it Tanya does not approve of this."

I could only imagine the fury the banshee would unleash. The delivery of the invitation was a public declaration whether he saw it that way or not, he was singling out Miss Rosalie. It would raise the expectations of her family.

"Of course Emmett, I will be of whatever service you require. Would you like to leave directly?"

"Yes, the sooner the better," he said with an apprehensive look.

I pitied him, I could not imagine what it would do to a man to have such a selfish sister.

"Of course Emmett, let us meet at the stable in half an hour."

I turned to walk out the door, when I heard Emmett whisper so low I was unsure if I had heard him correctly.

"Thank you, it is good to have one person on my side."

Unsure how to respond, I turned and nodded before stepping through the door, quickly shutting it behind me. _I have no desire to take sides in this matter_, I thought as I readied myself. I would offer my advice or opinions if asked, but I would not interfere. It was simply ungentlemanly and frankly unbecoming. Meddling was for the old matrons with nothing more to fulfill their lives than to involve themselves in other peoples' affairs.

Quietly, I snuck out to the stables undetected. Emmett was already there waiting. Our horses were already saddled, so we made our escape quickly. The ride was serene compared to the turmoil we had left behind.

"Edward, I know you think I am being forward and rash, but if all goes well at the Ball I intend on asking permission to court Miss Rosalie. " His statement was full of conviction; I could not fault him for that.

"I find no fault in your plan Emmett, it is _your_ happiness; if Miss Swan makes you happy, then you have my support."

He smiled, "Thank you Edward. "How is Alice? Last we spoke, you were worried about leaving her."

"She is doing well; she keeps busy with poetry and music," I smiled at the memory.

"And Col. Whitlock is watching over her? How does he fare?" My smile immediately disappeared.

"Not so well. I am afraid I received a rather distressing letter from him. If the tide of this war is not turned soon, he will be sent to France." Emmett sucked in a ragged breath, he knew the outcome of that, as well as I.

"Yes Emmett, if he goes to France he has little chance of returning. Jasper is a cavalryman, and he is also a soldier. He would die with his men, following them straight to hell if need be."

I shook off the shudder I felt.

"So let us hope for the best and that this damn war ends soon."

He nodded. "Yes we all should pray for that."

We rode in silence as we entered Meryton. Hoping to pass through quickly and remain unnoticed. Many of the inhabitants were too busy to notice, and for that I was grateful. Emmett was stopped for a moment by a gentleman, whom I gathered was fond of shooting and had an interest in the sport Netherfield had to offer. Uninterested in the conversation, I looked for something to catch my interest.

At that moment Isabella came bounding out of a shop her sisters in tow. Her face looked flushed, as if she had been running.

Why would she be flushed? I looked closer at her expression, it seemed almost angry. I was trying to figure out what could possibly cause her to become angry when I looked up at the shop.

A ribbon shop?

What could possibly cause her to become upset in a ribbon shop? I was at a loss.

Just then the most ridiculous man came bounding out of the shop, almost tripping as he stepped off the landing. He tried to right himself but it was of no use, the clothes were ill fitting to begin with.

He looked simply ridiculous.

I had never seen him before. He was a short man with blonde hair cut short on the top and longer in the back. Surly that hair must be a wig, no self respecting man would cut his hair in such a fashion. From his attire, I gathered he must be a vicar. His eyes searched longing for someone, though I could hardly imagine _him_ married, poor woman. His eyes stopped and his expression changed to one of exultant joy. I followed the line of sight and saw whom they rest upon.

Isabella.

"Cousin Isabella! There you are, I thought I had lost you." The man's simpering voice gave me chills.

This man was her cousin? Is he the one who had made her angry?

He walked up to her side and attempted to take her arm. She shrugged him away.

It bothered me that this man was touching her; I felt a strange urge to put my horse between Isabella and the disgusting little man.

"Edward, "Emmett was finally done with is conversation. "There is Miss Rosalie, how fortunate."

As we rode over towards them, my eyes were fixed on Isabella. She looked very angry, like she was about to use physical force to repel the tiny man.

Could he not see she wanted nothing to do with him? He could not possibly be that stupid?

"Ladies! How fortunate we met you, we were just on our way to your home to deliver your invitation."

This news seemed to captivate the others, yet the annoying man seemed unconcerned and continued in his effort to speak to Isabella.

I was correct in my assessment, he was rather short and his features were on the smaller side. I noticed his neck cloth was tied too tight under his chin; causing his face to turn an unnatural shade of red as he spoke. His posture and mannerisms were too forward, it was obviously causing Isabella discomfort. She was backing up ever so slightly every time he would advance.

I was unable to catch more than a few words, all it seemed came from the irritating vicar.

"I flatter myself."

"Esteemed."

"Chimney piece."

"A lane."

It was all nonsensical gibberish, what was this man about?

Isabella moved closer to her sisters, no doubt trying to discourage further conversation; however, the man followed her like a puppy. I was tempted to turn my horse, hoping he was standing close. A good kick in the head might help knock some sense into him, and he would act more respectful with ladies.

Isabella was grabbed suddenly by the youngest.

"Look, Isabella, Mr. McCarty has set the date for the ball, we are all invited. Isn't it exciting?" the young girl squealed.

Isabella looked at Emmett. "Thank you sir, we are honored by your invitation."

Miss Rosalie added, "Yes, please convey our greetings to your sisters."

It was more than they deserved for their treatment of them, yet it showed just how far above them they were.

"Sir you must invite the militia! They are excellent company," Miss Victoria cut in.

"Victoria! You cannot invite people to others people's balls," Isabella admonished. She had a tinge of pink in her cheeks, no doubt from the mortification.

"Oh come on, we all know you are no fun, why can't others be entertained without you pouring cold water on all our fun."

Isabella's cheeks were now a full red; I wanted to lecture her sister for the embarrassment she was causing Isabella.

Emmett decided to intervene.

"Of course they are welcome; I will extend an invitation to include them as well."

"Thank you!" she screeched, running off.

_Thank heavens._

Emmett seemed unfazed by Victoria's shameful behavior.

"So Miss Rosalie, can I be so bold as to secure the first two dances with you at the ball?"

She looked taken back and slowly raised her face looking up at Emmett, replying;

"Yes sir, you may. Thank you." She had a slight smile on her face, I was unsure as to the meaning.

Emmett beamed.

I looked over at Isabella, who was still trying to fend of the unwanted advances of the little clergyman. He was doing some ridiculous hand gestures, as if he were signaling a ship into port. I almost forgot my manners and laughed out loud. Isabella, it seemed, was barely tolerating him. I wondered who he was; obviously he was a cousin but for some reason his actions left me uneasy.

Laying his hand on Isabella arm, she quickly withdrew it. I had to look elsewhere, or I would jump down from horse and throttle the man for his impertinence. I looked toward the direction the sister went and noticed she was talking, no, actually openly flirting with a group of officers. She turned pointing in our direction and they made their way slowly over to our group. The taller gentleman looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't quite place him. As he stepped closer the recognizable features hit me with indescribable pain.

Wickham!

What the hell was that blaggard doing here? Of all the places for that viper to slither into. It was obvious he had not seen me and I turned to hide my face.

"Mr. McCarty may I introduce you to Laurent, Eric, and James. They are all lieutenants in Col Black's regiment."

_Thank heavens for Victoria's lack of social graces_.

They stepped forward. James was within a foot of Isabella, and he leered down the front of her gown.

He was unchanged, and as much a cad as he ever was. I would not tolerate his behavior toward Isabella, it was simply not acceptable.

Leaving all rational thought behind me I nudged Blackjack forward, effectively coming between Isabella and James. I looked down at his confused expression. It seemed to take a moment for him to look up. His expression turned from surprise to one of annoyance at being cut off from his prey. He looked up at my expression, a smug smile on his face. Recognition dawned immediately, and the smile and color immediately drained from his face as he stared into the cold implacable expression I wore.

_Yes that's right Wickham, you should be afraid. I wager you did not expect to see me here. If the others were not here, nothing would stop me from running my steel blade through your unfeeling heart._

Deciding to flee, James made his apologies.

"Thank you for the invitation, Mr. McCarty, it was most kind." With that said he retreated, along with his fellow officers.

Damn it! Would I never be free of that bastard, was he destined to haunt me at every turn? To crawl into my life and make it a living hell?

I moved past the group, unwilling to even look in their direction. I had no interest in betraying the emotions I knew were in plain sight, to Isabella. It would only serve to widen the already significant rift between us.

When I reached the outskirts of the town, Emmett had caught up to me.

"Edward, what happened back there?" He was confused and rightly so.

"I can't talk about it right now, Emmett, I need to clear my head. I will meet you back at the house."

"Ok Edward, please be careful."

I pulled out the crop and kicked Blackjack into a gallop. I raced as far away from Wickham as I could get. He was like a sickness that infested all those he touched. I would not tolerate him tainting Isabella; she was innocent and pure, and would remain so.

I reached an opening in the trees and slowed to a stop. I looked up to the sky and cursed, why now? Why, when I find love do you give me the perfect woman? One that is my match in every way but one, therefore I can't have her? And then to throw Wickham into the fray.

It was too much.

I lashed out at the closest tree with my crop, trying to release my frustration, but I only managed to snap the crop in half, yet my frustration remained. I would have to deal with him, although I knew I could do nothing public. He would be dealt with, I would not fail again. I needed advice, Jasper would know what to do and he would help me.

For all I knew, he would be here by morning to kill the bastard himself.

I turned and headed back to Netherfield determined, if I could I would rid this town of James Wickham.


	9. Injustice

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

I tore through the stables, dismounting Blackjack before he had even stopped. I threw the reins at the stable hand before running toward the house. I entered, quickly but quietly making my way to my chambers, and immediately went to work on a letter to Jasper.

_Jasper,_

_I have not the time for pleasantries or anything of that nature. I apologize for the abruptness of this letter. I am well. Today I have encountered the last man I ever wanted to see on this earth: James Wickham. He has taken a post in the local militia; how he came by the funds to purchase such a commission is beyond me. I write to ask your advice. It is not necessary that you journey here, no matter the inducement that killing James would bring. I am concerned for the daughters here in Meryton, and would like to give them some warning; however, I will not compromise Alice with any specifics. So you can see my dilemma. I am sending this express; please respond as soon as possible._

_Edward Masen_

I sealed the letter and posted it express. It would arrive in London in just a few short hours. I hoped for an answer tomorrow. I needed to go in search of Emmett; he probably thought I had gone insane. I found him in the library; oddly enough, it seemed we were both in need of some sanctuary.

Emmett looked up as I entered the room.

"Edward! Would you mind telling me what the hell got into you this afternoon? I have never seen you so enraged."

I drew deep breath. How was I to explain this without betraying Alice's confidence?

"First, I need to apologize, Emmett. My behavior was abominably rude, and I hope I didn't put you in an awkward position with Miss Swan. It was never my intention. I needed to remove myself from the situation before I harmed that man."

My mind mocked me. _You know full well what you wanted to do, and injury was furthest from your thoughts._

Emmett looked at me with a curious express, "No offense was taken, and they really didn't notice you had left."

I blew out a relived breath. "I suppose it is time for an explanation, then."

I tried to gather my thoughts while Emmett waited patiently for me to begin.

"The man in question is James Wickham, and he is a blaggard and a cad of the lowest order. I, at one time, called him friend; we grew up as children. His father was my father's steward. My experience with Wickham is long and painful. He gambles incessantly, running up debts with no plans to repay them. I have had to discharge his debt in Lambton twice now, something I will never do again. As well as a love of money, he has no compunction about taking the virtue of any willing young woman."

_Or unwilling, _I thought bitterly_._

I quickly pushed that thought away and continued.

"I wrote to Col Whitlock to ask his advice on the matter. Since Wickham is in the army, local militia or not, he is subject to their code of honor. I may be able to help the people of this town by warning them of the bastard's true nature before it is too late."

_The thought of Isabella in that man's clutches solidified my resolve. I would not fail her._

Emmett seemed to contemplate what I had said for a moment.

"Edward, I know something bad happened to Alice, and that you are fiercely protective of her. I also assume it has something to do with this James fellow. I don't want any particulars, but know that I will support and help you in whatever way I can."

I was speechless, not with Emmett's ability to deduce the truth, but because of his discretion and tact in leaving a painful topic to rest.

"Thank you, Emmett; you have no conception of how your words have helped. I will await Jaspers letter, and then we can decide how to best deal with the predicament."

"Well, Edward, in the mean time you can help me with my situation."

I hesitated. "And what situation would that be, Emmett?"

"Tanya," he replied.

That damn Harpy! I was in no mood to deal with her ridiculous antics.

"And what, pray tell, has she done now?"

He let out a loud booming laugh, but it was laced with bitterness and pain. "What hasn't she done? I had several house maids quit this afternoon. Apparently they would rather starve than deal with her any longer. I am at a loss, Edward. I don't know how to control her, and I am not yet willing to send her off."

He put his face in his hands, defeated.

"Emmett, you know you are not responsible for her behavior or her actions. Your parents raised you both with impeccable manners. Whether or not she chooses to heed them has no bearing on you."

His face still in his hands he sighed.

"Yes, Edward, it's easy to look at a hard situation without emotion, except when you're involved. I made a promise to keep her with me until either she, or I, married. I will not disregard my father's final wish, no matter how much I want to."

"I am sorry, friend. It will all work out in time."

He looked up and smiled. "Yes, and in the meantime, I will just continue my practice of ignoring her. Who knows, perhaps in time I will be as good as you."

We both laughed at the absurdity of his comment.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

_Edward,_

_I must confess, I was utterly astonished by your letter. I was, as you pointed out, very tempted to ride to Hertfordshire and end this once and for all. However, that would require an inquiry, and I will not allow Alice to be brought into question as the reason. Therefore, the only advice I can give is to seek out his commanding officer, and, without specifics, enlighten him to the fact one of his officers is a rogue. I have alerted the Major General, and while he was willing to look into the matter, he is otherwise occupied at the moment. In the meantime, I would emphasize James' tendency to gamble and run up huge debts, which he does not honor, and the drunken debauchery of which I am sure he is already guilty of. I will not mention this to Alice, as she would be upset; please respond with word of how the meeting fares._

_Col. Jasper Whitlock_

I was unsurprised to receive Jasper's letter early this morning, nor did the content shock me. I was right to ask him to stay; I had no interest in involving Jasper in this mess.

Having the confirmation I needed that seeking out Wickham's commanding officer was the right course of action, I now needed to inform Emmett and set up a meeting. I felt a bit of trepidation. What if he did nothing? Could I stand idly by and watch James roam free, unchecked?

_No_! I would not make that mistake again.

I found Emmett quickly and began explaining the situation.

"Emmett, have you met with the commanding officer of the regiment yet?"

"Yes; I am to dine with Col Black and his wife today, in fact." He paused. "I was going to ask you to join me."

_Perfect!_ "I just received a letter from Jasper; he advises bringing it to the attention of James' superior officer. My hope is that he will keep a more watchful eye on him. A court martial is not possible without substantial evidence."

"Yes, but Edward, you need to understand that without evidence, he may just dismiss it as nothing."

I let out a ragged breath, frustrated.

"I am not willing to say more than what I know of him when we were younger. If it is not enough, I will have to be satisfied that I tried."

"No matter the outcome, Edward, I support you and will do everything I can to help."

I smiled, and shook his hand.

"So, dinner then?" Emmett nodded. "Very well, I will see you in a few hours."

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

I needed a few hours of peace, and decided to walk. The trees were loosing their green making way for the golden colors of fall. The air was crisp, but it felt refreshing. Time passed as I wandered aimlessly, lost in thought. I would not allow James to have any opportunity to hurt Isabella. I would do everything in my power to make sure that did not happen. I worried she would see too much, her eyes always seemed to tell me she knew something.

I was afraid she could see right through me.

The separation had done nothing to cool my longing for her, it had only increased it. Seeing her brought out so many different emotions. The ball was only a fortnight away, and I had every intention of dancing with Isabella. I would right the wrong I had done to her at the assembly. It would be an apology I am sure she would recognize and accept. Surely, she would see the significance in the gesture. I had yet to dance with any females here in Hertfordshire.

Suddenly, my senses were assaulted by a familiar sent.

_Lavender, Isabella_…

I closed my eyes, inhaling the wonderful fragrance, before stopping to find the source.

I heard the faint snap of a twig behind me.

I spun around to see Isabella quietly retreating in the opposite direction.

"Miss Isabella," I called. I started to move in her direction. I had no idea what I would say to her, but my mind said, _go to her_.

She stopped and turned to face me; I was lost in her beautiful face. The more I was around her, the less willpower I possessed. My heart screamed for me to stop being such a fool. It was then I noticed a look of frustration and confusion on her face. Maybe she thought I was a stranger and did not want to be caught alone with a man she did not know.

_Yes, that would explain her retreat._

"Sir," she spoke quietly, "I did not see you there. I was on my way home, and do not want to detain you."

She was so generous, did she not know how badly I wanted her to detain me?

"It is a pleasure to see you again, I have missed our debates. Netherfield has been dull without you."

_Wait did I just admit to missing her?_

"Emmett misses your company and that of Miss Swan as well. I believe the loss was more than he expected."

_There, that should clear up any misspoken words_.

Her look of confusion suddenly cleared and her eyes had a mischievous gleam.

_Oh how I missed those looks,_ I groaned internally.

"Yes sir, but I believe there are those that could not wait for us to be gone."

I smiled; she was obviously talking of the two shrews.

"Yes, well, they are hardly satisfied with anyone's company but their own. I had a letter from my sister. I told her how much I enjoyed our debates; she was intrigued and would very much like to meet you someday."

I froze, realizing what I had just said. _OH lord_, I groaned internally.

Isabella looked distressed, maybe even a bit frightened. Why would she be frightened? I needed to put her at ease, because I could not stand for her to be upset.

"It would, of course, be completely up to you Miss Isabella; I would never want you to be uncomfortable. I apologize."

She nodded, her eyebrows still knitted in confusion, her beautiful lips in a slight frown. I wanted to kiss away her troubles. But alas, that would only cause more. I needed to get away before I made another embarrassing statement, or worse.

"I have an appointment with Emmett to dine at Col Black's this evening. I must be heading back or I would offer to escort you myself."

A terrifying thought suddenly struck me.

_James was here and she was wandering around the woods by herself, alone!_

I could not let her walk alone. Damn.

"Would allow me to walk you to Netherfield, where I can arrange for your transportation home?"

He face hardened. "Sir, I have been walking these woods since I was a girl. I believe I can find my way home."

_Stubborn!_

"Miss Isabella, there are many dangers. Please, for my peace of mind; promise you will not go walking alone." My eyes pled with her to understand.

She sighed, "My father says the same thing. Honestly, I am capable."

I felt defeated, knowing she was not going to promise.

"Miss-" But she cut me off.

"I promise to be careful, is that enough?"

It appeared to be all she was willing to give; I grudgingly accepted.

"Thank you, yes." I took her hand and brought it to my lips. Her hands were cold, why was she not wearing gloves? The sensation of her chilled skin against my lips was overwhelming. Her scent swirled in my head. I returned her hand before I did something I would regret.

"Good day, Miss Isabella." I bowed, but before leaving, I added, "Be safe."

I turned and hurried back to Netherfield.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

The ride to Meryton seemed short; perhaps it was because my chaotic thoughts teetered from hope to utter dread. I was still reeling from my unexpected meeting with Isabella; I felt a need to make sure she was safe. How could I convey to Col Black the truth of what I said without betraying Alice's confidence, but make sure Isabella would be safe? The two conflicting emotions warred with each other; my head ached from all the tension. James needed to be watched, yet I had no desire to cause bad blood between Emmett and the militia. Especially if they dismissed my warning.

We dismounted and were quickly shown into the house. Col Black and his wife were there to greet us. I was surprised by the man and, though I knew nothing of him, he seemed to stare at me with a look of utter displeasure. It made me feel uneasy.

Emmett spoke first.

"Thank you for the invitation to dine with you this evening, Colonel. May I introduce Mr. Masen of Pemberley in Derbyshire."

He looked away from Emmett, slowly turning toward me; his eyes seemed to assess me as one would an opponent. This did not bode well for my plan.

Finally, he spoke, but it was measured and cautious.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Masen. I am sorry for the humbleness of my accommodations; alas, that is life. I am surprised a fine gentleman such as yourself would show any interest in a dinner with a man such as I."

Ah, he was goading me. No doubt, the gossip in town gave him the impression I would snub him. Now I understood why the invitation was only addressed to Emmett.

"It is my pleasure, Colonel. My good friend is Col Whitlock, and I am familiar with the life and responsibilities placed on men in the military. They are not to be taken lightly, nor for granted."

He seemed to thaw somewhat, and the mood lightened considerably. We sat down to dinner and the conversation flowed easily. Most revolved around more mundane topics, likely due to the fact his wife was present. I was still unsure how to breach the topic; I suppose it would have to wait until after dinner. Once dinner was complete the men retired for brandy, and we bid Mrs. Black goodnight.

Following Col Black into the Drawing room, we were each supplied with a glass of port.

"So, Mr. Masen, what is your opinion of the war?"

Well he doesn't beat around the bush does he?

"I feel it is nothing short of a massacre and too many men are dying. The sooner Bonaparte is stopped the better. His countrymen need to be free of him as badly as we do. I find it distasteful that he is willing to send thousands of young untrained boys to their death merely to retain his power."

Emmett was silent, and Col Black seemed to contemplate what I had said. I would not apologize for my words.

"Well spoken, Mr. Masen. I rarely come across a man who is not in uniform that speaks so passionately about matters concerning the war in France. Many choose to ignore it as an unfortunate affair they are glad to not soil their hands with. I am curious, though. Is this opinion in response to your friend, I wonder?"

Ah, smart fellow.

"Yes, he will have to go to France, unless the tide of this war turns, and soon."

"Yes, I fear my militia will be going as well, even though it is local militia. They are pulling men from local militias and assigning them to the regulars faster than I can replace them."

This piqued my curiosity.

"You have had men called into the regulars? How many?"

Black lit a cigar and took a long drag before turning to me.

"Roughly six of my men; I have only recently found replacements. And I fear another four will be called within the next six months. It is at my discretion, of course, who goes."

This was my chance! If James was put in the regulars he would be gone from Hertfordshire, and possibly England. The idea left me feeling hopeful.

"Col. Black, I do have a matter of which I would like to discuss concerning one of your men."

This seemed to catch his attention.

"One of my men, you say? Have you had a problem?"

"No, nothing recent, however I feel it incumbent upon me to warn you. James Wickham is not the man he appears."

I continued quickly.

"James Wickham was a childhood friend until his habits of gambling and drunken debauchery made his company no longer desirable. I implore you to keep a watchful eye on him."

I held my breath, the Col seemed to take an unbearable amount of time responding.

"I thank you for bringing your concerns to me. I do not know much of Mr. Wickham, but I will, as you say, keep a watchful eye on him. So far, his conduct has been nothing less than stellar. I am unsure what you hoped to accomplish by this."

He seemed suspicious now; damn, this was not going the way I had hoped.

"I don't want the people of Meryton to suffer the same way other towns have suffered in his wake. But as I said, a mindful eye is all I can ask."

"Well, I will do what I can."

I felt defeated. Nothing would be done.

The topic now closed, we returned to much safer topics. Emmett reiterated the invitation for the officers to attend the ball, which the Colonel gladly accepted.

I felt like I failed, and indeed I had. Black had as good as dismissed my pleas. I needed to make Isabella safe; I would not allow anything to harm her. We thanked him for dinner and returned home. I sought solitude, and paced the library relentlessly looking for a solution.

I had no answers, my best option had failed. There was nothing to be done. Wickham would slip through again. Though the damage he _could _inflict would be even harder to swallow.

The idea struck me so suddenly I stopped mid stride. I knew what I had to do.

I would confront the bastard myself.

I rode swiftly back to Meryton. James would get his warning, and it would come from me.

I knew where I could find him; James was anything if not predictable. I stopped outside the tavern, desperately trying to rein in my anger. I needed a clear head, and it would do me no good to lose my temper now.

Suddenly, a man stumbled drunkenly out into the night, the tavern owner yelling behind him.

"Don't come back till ye can pay, you good for nothing lout."

I looked at the drunken man. It was James.

Quietly, I jumped down from my horse and followed him as he staggered toward the alley beside the tavern.

He entered the alley and I quickly caught up with him. James turned suddenly to see who was following him.

"What do you want," he slurred.

He was looking into the darkness, no doubt trying, but failing to see anyone. I stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight.

His eyes widened.

"I come bearing a warning, James." My words were laced with malice.

James seemed to sober quickly.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" he stuttered.

He quickly recovered, throwing in a jibe. "Come to lower yourself to mingle with the common folk, have we?" he leered.

I'd had enough. I would not allow James to talk his way out of this.

I reached for the hilt of James' sword, drawing the sharp object from its scabbard.

The sound pierced the air, chilling in its harshness. James knew I was deadly with a blade. It was one of those skills I excelled at.

I placed the tip of the blade to his throat, as a way to gain his full attention. His eyes were wide, and I could nearly smell the fear that emanated from him.

It gave me courage, the blood searing through my body.

"I am not going to kill you, James, no matter how much pleasure I would take from your death. I am here to tell you to stay away from the innocent women in this town. I will not have you ruin the reputations of young girls merely for your own sick pleasure."

I was shocked by his response; he merely started laughing.

"That is rich coming from you, Masen. Since when did you care about anyone besides yourself? Why would you care what happens to some shopkeeper's daughter, or even the ladies here? From what I have heard, you were very vocal in your disgust for a certain lady here, and made it clear you were not interested."

His words stung, but I did not show it. I could never allow James to know my interest; it would put Isabella in danger.

"My good friend, Mr. McCarty, has leased an estate here, and as his friend I expect to visit him often. I have no desire to repeat this again James. I warn you, don't make me finish what I should have done years ago."

He mouth turned up in a taunting grin.

"We both know you will do no such thing, Edward. You would never risk Alice's reputation that way, so don't delude yourself into thinking you have me under your thumb. You may have been dealt a better hand in life, but I am my own man, and I answer to no one. Especially not to you."

It was too easy; he had followed right where I had led him.

"Ah, James, but you do. You answer to your commanding officer, I believe, and it is in his power where you go."

He grimaced and I knew I had struck a nerve.

"You wouldn't dare! It would not take much for me to ruin your sister's reputation, all it would take is a few well placed rumors," he mocked

His taunt was too much. _How dare he?_ Alice had done nothing but trust and care about this pathetic excuse of a man.

I was beyond reason.

With one swift stroke of the blade, I peirced the skin of his neck. It was superficial enough he would not die, but deep enough to leave a scar. I grabbed him by his bloody neck cloth.

"_You will do no such thing_. You know very well if that happens, neither I nor Jasper will have any reservations about hunting you down and killing you like the dog you are," I snarled angrily.

He looked absolutely panicked; knowing he had pushed too far.

I'd had enough; I could no longer bear to be in his presence. I let him go and he fell to his knees sobbing, holding onto his bleeding neck.

"You _will _heed my warning, Wickham. Next time, I will not be so forgiving."

I threw the sword down at his feet and walked away.


	10. The Ball

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

_**November 27, 1812**_

The days leading up to the ball had been tense as tempers were running short. So much was riding on this event; Emmett's place in Hertfordshire society was assured, however, his reputation in London hinged on the outcome of this ball. If all went well, it would open many doors for him. Emmett had money and a new estate, but he had yet to host a large event. He would be judged and scrutinized based on how well this ball was received.

Shallow? Yes, but such is the life we lead.

All the preparations were completed and Netherfield had never looked so impressive. It was not without sacrifices, and the tension had been thick. Emmett was able to finally reason with the Harpy. I am not sure what he had threatened her with, but it had worked. The servants had been given the space they needed to complete their tasks, without the fear of retribution from the "Dragon lady," as I am told she was called.

_I'll_ have to remember that one for later.

I had managed to put James from my mind; I knew he would not have the courage to show his face at the ball. I assumed he'd made up some falsehood to explain the cut on his neck; he was too much of a coward to face me again. I did not find it likely he would try anything at present. I hoped the reminder left on his neck was enough to give him a lasting impression, and that he would leave Isabella alone. It was true what he had said; although I would not wish him on any other female in Meryton, I only thought of Isabella.

It seemed my actions, and body for that matter, behaved of its own volition when it came to her. I had no hand in it. It had been a fortnight since our unexpected meeting in the woods. I had hoped that the distance between us after she'd left Netherfield would put a stop to my dreams, which occurred nightly now. But since my encounter with her in Meryton, it seemed they had managed to increase in intensity. I dreamt of her at Pemberley, picturing her at the top of the staircase, eyes gleaming as she tempted me to chase her. This only enhanced my longing for her.

I planned on observing her this evening; my only other opportunity to see her interact in a social setting had been at the assembly, and I need not remind myself what an utter failure _that_ had been.

_A failure of my own making, no less. _

I intended to be a gentleman and leave her with a better opinion of me.

Guests began arriving; and I was relived that it was not my house, as I did not have the unfortunate task of standing in the receiving line. Emmett was bearing it well; he was kind and jovial with all his guests. Completely opposite, in both physical location and temperament, was the Harpy. She was in rare form this evening. Her manners were polite, but under that exterior she was cold as ice. Her gown, no doubt the latest fashion, was the most putrid color of yellow. She could likely be spotted a mile away through a dense fog. Her expression was a mixture between a grimace and outright hostility. No doubt she was displeased by having to spend time with the "undeserving nobodies," as she called them. I also suspected she was angry at not being the center of attention. Did she not realize people gravitated to Emmett because he was friendly? Probably not. She did not understand the meaning of friendly. I had been successful in ignoring her, and it had caused my moods to lighten considerably as of late.

I wandered through the crowds, hoping to catch a glimpse of Isabella, but it was all in vain. Perhaps she was not coming? My heart sank at that thought. No, she would come; her family would expect her to be here. I meandered back to my hidden vantage point, watching the people trickle into the main foyer. Suddenly, a small man pushed his way through the door to the front of the line. As he passed Emmett he paused, bowed quickly, and moved away. It was the most ungentlemanly behavior.

As he came closer I recognized him as the man with Isabella. _Her cousin_. I could not forget a person with such ridiculous hair, and tonight it seems he took extra care in making it as big as possible. I was certain it was to make up for his obvious lack of height as it made him a full four inches taller. I noticed his clothing was the same, with the addition of a flower in his lapel. It made for quite a sight. It was much too big and hung limply against his jacket.

He was looking frantically around the room, as if searching for someone. I laughed to myself; he really was ridiculous. Turning my attention away from the small man, I focused back on the front just in time.

Isabella and her sister were speaking with Emmett. I could only see her from the back; the rest of the family fell in behind them. As Miss Swan moved to enter the ball room, Isabella turned to take her arm.

I was rendered utterly speechless.

She was breathtaking; her delicate figure gently encased in a white gown that flowed from her body. I noticed the bodice was trimmed with satin, and the combination of the color and fabric in contrast with her skin was luminescent. My eyes travelled up to her face; her hair was swept up on her head, the curls pinned with tiny delicate pearls. My eyes again moved down to her bodice, it was then I noticed the necklace she wore. A teardrop pearl hung delicately from a silver chain, resting precariously close to the swell of her breast.

My body reacted immediately to the vision of this goddess in white. I was beginning to sweat. I tugged at my neck cloth, which suddenly felt uncomfortably tight, not to mention my trousers…

This train of thought was not helping my resolve.

I needed to breathe some fresh air to get control over myself. I was grateful that I wore black trousers, as they hid my all too obvious state of mind. Making my way through the crowds, I felt claustrophobic; everything was closing in around me. I all but ran to the library, where I took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself. After a few moments, I felt relatively calm. The tightness in my neck had abated and I could finally breathe again. It took moments longer to calm my ardor, however, which seemed to be out of control since I had arrived in Hertfordshire.

Once I was calm I began pacing.

This was, more than likely, the last time I would see Isabella. I planned on departing for London the day after tomorrow. The yearning to talk to her, to touch her, was palpable but how could I accomplish this without upsetting her, as I did frequently.

I stopped pacing. This was a ball, and had I not already resolved to dance with her?

Yes, that was perfect. I could be close to her, touch her, yet keep her at a safe enough distance. I was resolved; I would find Isabella and ask her to dance.

I exited the library and went in search of Isabella before I lost my nerve. The orchestra began to play, signaling the beginning of the dancing. This would make moving through the crowd much easier. As a tall man I had the advantage of being able to spot people easily in a crowd. I scanned the edges looking for Isabella, but she was nowhere to be found. I looked to the dance floor, starting at the top of the line of couples. I spotted Isabella in the middle of the row of couples. My eyes moved to the place directly across from her, however, I was unable to see her partner. Surely she would not be dancing unaccompanied? Yet the space for her partner was clearly vacant. I strode closer, weaving my way through the crowd, watching the dancing to gain a better view of her.

Isabella stepped forward into the middle as did her partner, who was none other than her cousin, Mr. Newton. It was no wonder I could not spot him, for he was a full head shorter than her. He bowed absurdly low, his eyes never leaving her. The look on his face was that of an adoring puppy in need of affection. Isabella looked increasingly uncomfortable as the dance went on. Mr. Newton, it seemed, was not very adept at the art of dancing, stepping on her toes several times and turning in the wrong direction, bumping into the lady at his left and almost knocking her to the ground.

If it had been another place and time, I would not have been able to control my laugher. For this was easily the most ridiculous spectacle I had ever witnessed.

My humorous thoughts were stopped short by the look on Isabella's face, however. Her cheeks burned red with embarrassment and I could see her eyes glistening. I instantly felt ashamed for finding amusement at her expense. I was angry, and it took all I had to stand my ground and not go throttle the man. He was being a pompous, arrogant man to not admit he could not dance, thus embarrassing Isabella for the sake of his own foolish pride.

The dance ended and Isabella escaped as quickly as she could, unknowingly moving in my direction. I felt an overwhelming urge to erase the sad look on her beautiful face. It was painfully burned into my mind.

She approached, clearly agitated, and I resolved that this was my chance. I stepped into her path and she stopped, looking up to see who had stopped her progress. When her eyes met mine, I almost reached up to cup her face in my hands; those beautiful eyes filled with tears. I quickly dropped my hands to my side before doing anything improper.

_In the middle of a ball, no less!_ I mentally chastised myself.

"Miss Isabella, may I have the honor of the next dance?"

She looked down and hesitated before answering.

"You may." It seemed she was reluctant to dance again, and it was no wonder, considering what she had just gone through.

She curtsied quickly and walked away, no doubt to compose herself after her horrible encounter with _Mr. Newton_.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

After a brief intermission the orchestra readied for the next dance. I went to Isabella, who took my arm as I escorted her to the dance floor.

The music began and I stepped towards her, looking directly into her eyes. I took her hands and reveled in the feeling that always seemed to occur every time we touched. My eyes swept across her beautiful face and I looked again in her eyes, hoping to see that same glimmer I so often saw. The glimmer was there but also something more. I was not able to decipher what it was; they seemed hard, perhaps even angry.

_No doubt she was still upset about earlier; hopefully this dance will show her how a real gentleman treats a lady._

"I love this dance," she remarked.

"Yes indeed, it is most stimulating." My tone was neutral, which surprised even myself. It was taking everything I had to contain the torrent of emotions I felt.

"I believe it is your turn to say something, Mr. Masen. I remarked on the dance; you ought to remark on the size of the room or the number of couples."

She wanted to talk? _Now_? I had tried to get her to speak to me since our first encounter. I could not help but be intrigued by what brought this on.

"I would be happy to oblige; please inform me on what you would most like to hear."

She smirked and replied.

"Well, we can't have you uncomfortable now, can we?" She was being cheeky with me.

"I may observe that private balls are much more pleasant than public ones."

We continued dancing, the tension building with every step. I could think of nothing to say that would not be disastrous for my control. So I took the coward's way out and remained silent.

After a long pause, Isabella spoke again.

"And now we may remain silent."

I was puzzled; she seemed determined to have this conversation now.

"Do you talk as a rule while dancing?"

"No, I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn." Another pause as we looped around the other couples. "It makes it all so much more enjoyable, don't you think?"

Ah, she was goading me! There was the Isabella I loved. _Loved_? Damn, I needed to focus before I said something foolish.

Well, if she wanted to talk, then I would join her little game.

"Tell me, do you and your sisters often walk into Meryton?" I asked her cautiously.

"Yes," she replied simply. "It is a great way to meet new people, don't you think?"

My gut told me this was heading in a direction I would not like. Yet I had foolishly asked her and my pride wanted to know if Wickham had spoken to her.

"In fact, after you and Mr. McCarty left we made a new acquaintance. A Mr. Wickham."

I groaned inwardly. I was already too late, he had no doubt poisoned her mind with the same viscous lies he told anyone who would listen.

"Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners that making new acquaintances is relatively easy for him. Whether or not he is able to keep them is another matter entirely." My tone was cold.

"He seems to be so unfortunate as to have lost your friendship." Isabella was becoming more defensive.

This was worse than hell; my angel was _defending_ that bastard.

Lord knows what he had told her. Suddenly, I wished the blade had gone in deeper.

"And given your statement a month ago, that is an irreversible decision is it not?"

I was so angry I could no longer think straight.

"It is," I replied tersely, "What is the purpose of these questions?" I demanded.

"I am trying to make out your character Mr. Masen." She was so close to my face, her eyes ablaze, I wanted to close the gap and kiss her lips.

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow in retaliation, "and what have you discovered?"

"Very little, I'm afraid," she responded, still looking directly into my eyes, "I hear such different accounts of you as to puzzle me exceedingly."

No! I could only imagine the infamy of the lies Wickham had spewed to turn her against me. The only question was why she would believe the words of a stranger?

"I hope to afford you more clarity in the future." My tone left little doubt that the subject was now closed. I pushed Wickham from my mind, determined to enjoy the precious little time I had left with Isabella. Though her expression was hard, her eyes had a confused look, as if she too had a storm of emotions raging inside her.

Perhaps she could feel the same unexplained pull I felt.

The dance continued and we were silent; it was as if there was no one left in the room. Every touch, every look, was a mixture of longing and pain. We spun in a circle, our eyes never leaving each other. I reached for her hand one last time, silently wishing away the gloves that were a barrier to her soft skin. I took one last breath, her scent filling my head. I released her hand as the music stopped. We bowed to one another and she walked away.

I watched her retreating figure, desperately wishing for her to turn around and run back to my now empty arms. However, I could not shake the feeling of dread that came over me as she walked away. The sensation told me she was walking away for good.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

I joined Emmett and Miss Swan. They were happily discussing the ball; she was very enthusiastic about how many people had attended and the fact it had gone well. Yet, I was still nervous that she did not seem to be showing any more signs of affection toward Emmett. It was obvious he was madly in love with her. Any fool could see it in his expressions.

"Are you enjoying the Ball, Miss Swan?" I asked.

She looked at me, a bit shocked that I had addressed her.

"Why yes Sir, thank you. And you?"

"Yes, I believe it has gone rather well."

She turned her attention back to Emmett. She was polite and modest, yet I couldn't make her out.

It was then I heard a faint cough behind me, followed by my name.

"Mr. Masen." Ehm. "Mr. Masen."

I turned and saw no one behind me, but as I looked down I noticed Mr. Newton.

"Mr. Masen, I know we have not been formally introduced, but I believe we have a common acquaintance, sir."

_Oh, really?_ _This ought to be interesting_.

"I am the rector at Huntsford and my esteemed patroness is _Lady Irena Denali_."

Ah, so he was the old bats vicar, how interesting. I eyed him closer. Yes, he was a simpering pompous man; he would definitely fit the role my aunt required of all her rectors.

"I felt it incumbent upon me to introduce myself, and on behalf of Lady Irena, inform you that she and her daughter were both in excellent health when I left a few weeks past."

What impudence!

"Well thank you, Mr. Newton, for thinking of my Aunt. I am sure she would be delighted to hear you took it upon yourself to breach propriety and introduce yourself to me at a ball for the sake of informing me of her health."

His jaw dropped open and he started muttering to himself. I should have stopped, but I was enjoying this far too much. He deserved it after what he put Isabella through.

"In fact, I can write her directly and inform her of your kind words."

He looked as if he was about to cry.

"No, that will not be necessary, Mr. Masen, I apologize for interrupting you. I must be going."

He bowed and ran off as fast as his tiny legs could carry him.

I chuckled, turning back to Emmett who was now alone.

"Damn, Edward! I thought the little man was going to wet himself."

I smiled. "Yes, well, I believe I am not losing my touch after all."

Emmett laughed and shook his head, heading off to no doubt find Miss Swan.

As I was about to turn, I was stopped by an all too familiar voice.

"Edward, there you are! I have been looking everywhere for you," she said in her dreadfully shrill voice.

"And what do you need, Tanya?" I replied impatiently.

"I saw you dancing with Miss Izabell. I thought you didn't dance!" she screeched.

I ignored her, hoping she would give up and move on, but apparently she was single-minded in this regard.

"I was under the impression there were no ladies in Hertfordshire that could please you, Edward."

"I find much to admire in Miss Isabella," I smirked.

_Let her make of that what she wishes._

"So am I to wish you joy? What a wonderful family you will inherit upon your marriage."

The harpy's face was a bright shade of purple at this point.

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. I have no intention on discussing this further, good evening Tanya."

I turned and walked away as fast as I could. It was amusing really, that she was jealous. Well, she never had a chance in hell, so let her think what she wanted. Perhaps she would finally leave me alone if she thought I was set upon another.

I meandered through the crowds looking for Isabella. I wanted to make sure she was well. She had seemed upset and I hoped I was not the cause. I passed through the first drawing room and walked behind a group of ladies, though stopped when I heard Mrs. Swans voice.

"Yes, that's right, any day now. We fully expect a most advantageous marriage. Why I am willing to wager they will be engaged by the end of the week."

I kept on walking, though her words had set me on edge. Of _course_ she would expect it. And no doubt she was pushing her daughter as hard as she could to obtain it. I truly felt Miss Swan was a sweet girl and that she was indeed genuine. But despite everything, she did not show all the symptoms of being in love. I could only conclude it was the mother hoping and thus pushing her towards Emmett. I did not want my friend to suffer a marriage of indifference. It would break him.

I continued through to the next drawing room, where I was almost bowled over by the youngest Swan girls. Victoria and Angela were laughing and not paying any attention to where they were going. It was evident by the drinks in their hands that they were drunk. They were barely sixteen! Victoria ran up to one of the officers and smothered him in a hug.

It was indecent! Surely Mr. Swan could rein in his younger daughters!

I had yet to find Isabella and I was beginning to worry. The orchestra was on a break, therefore the rooms were filled with people. It was becoming harder to meander through the crowds of people. Not to mention, it was getting quite hot. I thought some cool air would help and I made my way toward the terrace, when I was stopped by the piano and a girl singing. It was not the playing that grabbed my attention, but the tone of her voice was off and it grated on my ears. I looked in the direction of the offending voice and saw it was Miss Bree. Mr. Swan stepped to the piano and asked her to give the other young ladies a turn. Thoroughly embarrassed, the poor girl ran away as fast as possible.

This evening was becoming more ridiculous by the second.

I welcomed the cool air, inhaling desperately as I stepped onto the terrace. Night had fallen and I looked up to see a full moon gracing the sky, the soft light falling upon the stone and illuminating everything with an ethereal glow. I was surprised by the calm that surrounded me; save for the soft hum of music emanating from the house it was completely silent.

Not a moment later I heard a soft sob coming from the far corner of the terrace. Realizing I was not alone, I stayed hidden in the shadows. I looked in the direction of the sound and saw that it was Isabella. She was leaning on the stone rail, her face lifted toward the sky, and no doubt admiring the heavens as I had moments before. The moonlight upon her skin and her white gown gave her a heavenly glow, she looked like an angel. The soft breeze caressed her face, soft strands of curls fluttering gently across her cheek. As I observed her closer I saw tears running down her cheeks.

_Oh Isabella. _I wept inside for her.

After everything I had witnessed tonight it was no wonder she was upset. She did not deserve these sorrows. I had done everything I could to shield her from the dangers of Wickham. I cursed fate and my position for shackling me to duties which I had no desire to be a part of anymore. If it were not for Alice and the people who depended on Pemberley I would gladly throw it all away for a chance to make Isabella mine.

At this moment, Isabella needed someone and I desperately wanted to _be_ that someone.

I made an attempt to move out of the shadows when I froze. _Think man!_ _Think of Alice, and your parents._

I dropped back further into the shadows, my hands hanging helplessly at my sides while I listened to her sob.

I could not comfort her without exposing my true feelings.

Tonight's events had been a harsh reminder of the differences between our worlds. The bridge between us would not be easy to forge. The impropriety of her family I had witnessed this evening was a strong reminder of my objections to her as a potential bride. It seemed that no matter how wonderful my dreams, the harshness of reality kept creeping back in.

It was like a cold bucket of water had been thrown in my face.

Isabella, no matter how beautiful or wonderful, simply came from an unsuitable family. The situation made me realize that upon my return to London, it was time I fulfilled my duty and found a wife.


	11. TittleTattle

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

Dark, ominous clouds hung low against the sky, the rain falling softly onto the windows of the carriage. Emmett and I sat on opposite sides of the coach in absolute silence; the storm, it seemed, reflected our respective moods.

I stared out the window, watching the flashes of lightning along the horizon. The thunder rumbled not long after. It was fitting that I would arrive in Hertfordshire during a storm and leave during one as well. My emotions were reflected in each rumble of thunder, and frankly, that frightened me. I knew I had made the right choice; however, that did not make leaving any easier. I had already forgiven Isabella the disdain she had showed me while we danced, knowing it had been formed on half-truths. Instead I focused all my anger on James Wickham. I knew that if our paths were to ever cross again I would not hold back.

I looked to the woods in vain, hoping to see Isabella walking, just as I had upon my arrival. The masochist in me begged for one last glimpse, to see her happy once more. The image was forever seared in my memory of the broken, embarrassed woman crying in the moonlight.

The ball had been a success in the eyes of all the participants, but to Emmett and myself, it had been nothing but an utter disappointment. My thoughts drifted back to yesterday's conversation at breakfast.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

_The previous morning_

The house awoke later than usual due to the late hour in which we retired. Emmett came down in a less than pleasant mood. I expected, after last night, that he would be thrilled with the outcome of the party. However, he was upset with the lack of change in Miss Swan's feelings. It seems he repeatedly tried to gauge her feelings only to be met with the same happily demure Miss Swan. It was frustrating and disheartening for Emmett, to say the least. It was after he had admitted he was unsure if she felt the same love he felt for her that the Harpy made a rather noisy entrance.

"Good morning, Edward, Brother dear," she trilled.

Lord, it was too damn early for this.

"You will never guess what I heard last night."

I rolled my eyes. No doubt whatever it was would be life altering.

Emmett remained silent, he didn't seem to have the will to argue or listen. He simply sat there, concentrating on finishing the food in front of him.

_He_ had _been paying attention_. Eating was one of the best ways I'd found to ignore unwanted conversation.

Taking our silence as an invitation to continue speaking, she launched into the gossip from the ball.

"I talked with many ladies who were very impressed with the decorations. They said it was the biggest event Hertfordshire had seen in years. I am not surprised of course, having not been exposed to the higher society in London, this would seem overwhelming to most."

_She had yet to draw a breath, perhaps she would do us a favor and pass out_.

"Oh! And I spoke to Mrs. Stanley; she informed me that Miss Rosalie had been previously _engaged_."

Emmett's head snapped up so fast he began to choke. After coughing the food out of his throat he found the ability to speak.

"What do you mean she was engaged, Tanya?" His words came out in a shocked tone.

The smile on her face gave me the chills; it reminded me of a snake just before it struck.

"Well, she was engaged to a Mr. Royce King. I was told it was nearly four years ago. They were set to be married and Mr. King broke the engagement - about a month before the wedding was to take place. "

_The breaking of an engagement was unusual. I wonder what the circumstances were._

"Mr. King was from a wealthy family, and this was an embarrassing situation not only for the Kings, but the Swans as well. No one really knows the reason why the engagement was broken. But the feeling and what Mrs. Stanley told me, was that Mr. King broke it off because he felt Rosalie was only marrying him for his money to please her family. But the poor thing must have felt _something_ for him; she has not had any potential suitors since, and is not as outgoing in company as she once was."

She finished with a look of utter satisfaction at having delivered horrible news.

I was mulling over this new information. Could it be that Miss Rosalie still pined for this man and this is why she was not able to give her heart to Emmett? It was plausible, and if true, would lead to nothing but heartache for them both. Not to mention the news about her only marrying him to please her family. I suddenly felt sick as I recalled Mrs. Swan's words from the previous evening.

Emmett finally spoke. "Tanya, are you sure? She has never once mentioned this to me."

It was all coming together; why would she speak of such a painful topic as love lost?

"Yes, Emmett, I am quite sure. Mrs. Stanley was very willing to give me all the particulars."

I bet she was. Gossiping cows, the lot of them.

What could I do for Emmett? He needed my support and the Harpy would do nothing to soothe the heartbreak he felt. She more than likely would scoff at his misfortune, and then take every opportunity to remind him of his failed attempt.

I knew what I needed to do.

"Emmett, I am leaving tomorrow for London. You told me you had business. Why don't you travel with me; get out of Hertfordshire for a few weeks? You would do well to clear you head."

"Edward," he asked, his voice small and pitiful, "do you think she still loves this Mr. King? And that is the reason she shows no feelings for me?" The look of utter devastation on his face saddened me. Emmett had always been strong and happy; seeing him so helpless was frightening.

"I don't know, Emmett, but I think some time away would do you good. When you come back in two weeks time, you will know the answer to your question."

After a long pause, he sighed before answering. "I believe you are right, some time away will do me good."

He turned to Tanya.

"Will you be all right here with Lauren and Mr. Crowley? I should not be longer than a few weeks."

"I will be fine, Emmett, you go to London. It has many different _distractions_. You should be your old self in no time." The way she said distraction immediately made me concerned; what could she mean by that?

"Yes, I know. Thank you for being so understanding. I shall be home before the Yule festivals."

"Edward, I will go make ready for our early departure."

We were both finished with breakfast, and having no desire to spend a moment longer with the Harpy, I rose and went to prepare.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

The wheels of the carriage fell into a hole, causing me to be jolted out of my thoughts. We were nearly there; the familiar roads told me we only had an hour or so. I looked over at Emmett, who was still silently gazing out the window.

"Emmett?" I called, breaking the silence. "We are nearly there."

He turned his head and looked at me, his eyes sad. He nodded before turning his head back to its previous position.

I sighed out loud. We were a sad pair really, both of us pining for a woman. Emmett longed for a woman who didn't want him, while I pined for one I couldn't have. It would be comical really, if it was happening to anyone else.

"Emmett, I don't understand why you are so upset… you have never been this upset about a woman before, and you have fallen in and out of love often."

Emmett turned back to me "Edward, have you ever been in love?"

The directness of his question startled me. I didn't know how to answer him, nor did I think I wanted to.

"I didn't think so." He took my silence as confirmation. Not wanting to explain myself, I allowed him to believe what he wished.

"I know that I find myself easily attracted to members of the opposite sex, but there was something entirely different with Miss Rosalie. It's not just her attractive features, which are beautiful. But she is an angel, not just in looks but in her manner as well. She is kind to a fault, no matter what unfair slights Tanya throws at her or her family she simply tolerates it."

I opened my mouth to comment, but was cut off as he continued.

"I have never felt so alive as I did with her. I felt like I could take on any challenge. Despite any objections, or gossip, I would marry her if she loved me. And that is what hurts the most." He looked down.

"What hurts the most?"

"Knowing she doesn't love me the way I love her. That she loved another, and apparently loves him _still_." He said the last word bitterly. "Even though he proved himself utterly undeserving of her love by deserting her like a coward."

His words stunned me; was that what I was doing with Isabella? Being a coward?

No, our situations were so different; my duty compared with his made my choice more complex.

"Perhaps in time you will meet another who makes you feel this way, and she will feel the same as well."

"So you think it is hopeless then?"

I knew my words would have a huge impact on his decision, but I could not bring myself to make this decision for him.

"Nothing is hopeless, Emmett, but you need to ask yourself if it is worth the pain to court Miss Swan when she has not returned any of your affection. I have observed her behavior and her sweet temperament is shared with everyone; I truly did not see anything different in her when she was with you. However, I was not always in your company; she could have been more expressive at times when there were not so many people."

"No, "he sighed, "She was as engaging with me as she was with any other person. I guess I wanted to delude myself into hoping she felt more."

"I'm sorry, Emmett. I suppose I will have to work extra hard at cheering you while you are in town. What say you to some fencing tomorrow?"

He cracked a smile. "Yes, you would suggest that, as you are so much better than I. However, I won't let that stand in my way. I accept."

"Excellent; it has been too long, and I am need of some exercise."

We were within the city now; the time had passed quickly during our conversation. I dropped Emmett at his residence with a promise to meet tomorrow. The driver hurried to Grover's Square. I could not wait to see Alice; I had missed her more than I realized. The carriage came to a stop and I looked out the window, breathing a sigh of relief.

I was home.

I exited the carriage and hurried up the steps. I was unsure if Alice would be waiting for me, but wanted to see her as soon as possible regardless. The housekeeper was at the door waiting for me, and with a smile she nodded in the direction of the music room. I could hear the familiar notes as they rested on my ears like a soothing blanket. I walked swiftly toward the sound and entered the music room. Alice was perched on the bench, her face in utter concentration as she played the notes. I stood and listened for a moment before approaching her from behind. I gently rested my hand on her shoulder and the sudden contact caused her to cease playing as she whipped around to see who had intruded on her playing.

"Edward!" she said excitedly. She stood and jumped into my arms and I enveloped her in a hug. The loving contact did much to calm my state of mind. Alice was all I had.

She released me and looked up into my face, quietly studying me for a moment before speaking.

"So, dear brother, you must sit and have tea with me, and tell me why you have come home so troubled."

I laughed, "You cut right to the chase don't you, my dear."

"Well if you must know, it was because I missed you so. And I would say my mood has lifted considerably."

She eyed me speculatively; I knew she didn't believe me, so I decided to sidetrack her.

"Mr. McCarty traveled to London with me. He was recently disappointed and I fear his mood rubbed off on me as well. I apologize for alarming you."

She smiled before shaking her head. "Edward, I know you are my older brother, but it's my job to make sure you are happy as well. What kind of sister would I be if I did not return all the kindness you show me?"

I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "You owe me nothing, Alice. It's my duty to care for you, but more importantly, you mean everything to me. We only have each other; filling the role of brother and parent is a daunting task. Especially when the sister is such a handful," I teased her, causing her to laugh.

I was thrilled to see her laugh again. It had been far too long. The musical sound reverberated off the walls and my horrible mood was forgotten.

"You really are an overbearing brute, but I suppose you will have to do."

She jumped up and sat back at her piano.

"I have been practicing, would you like for me to play for you now?"

"Do you expect Jasper today? I really should clean off from the journey I am need of a bath and some rest."

"Of course, I am sorry Edward, I expect Jasper this evening; I can play for you both then." She smiled and I gave her another hug before excusing myself.

"It's good to be home, Alice," I said as I walked out the door.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

Later that evening, Jasper arrived and we ate dinner while he informed me of the pertinent news I had missed while away. It seemed the war was not improving, and to add to the problem, France had decided to invade Canada as well. Despite this news, Jasper remained optimistic that the war would end soon. I wondered if his optimism was genuine or an attempt to appear strong for Alice.

After dinner we retired to the music room, where Alice played several new pieces. She had come a long way in the last couple of months. At first, she could not bear to touch her piano, but day by day she gradually worked up the courage to play again. I had always wondered if it was that she could not bear to be the center of attention; she really only played for me or Jasper.

After she finished playing, we bid her good night and Jasper followed me into my study. I sat down and heaved a sigh of relief at being home again.

"So Edward, you have some explaining to do. Not only did you ignore my wish that you contact me after your meeting with Wickham's commanding officer, but you seem strangely relieved. Care to explain anything to me?" Jasper always seemed to know what people were feeling; normally I didn't mind, but in this instance I had no wish for him to know what I was truly thinking about.

"I apologize, Jasper. I suppose I had better give you an explanation, seeing as I ended up ignoring your advice on two counts." He raised his eyebrow, urging me to continue. "I confronted James."

His eyes widened, but he said nothing.

"After my meeting with Colonel Black I realized nothing would be done, and I was not thinking rationally."

I was not going to explain that Isabella was my motivating factor.

"He was drunk and being kicked out of a tavern for not paying. I followed him and told him to stay away from the women and to behave himself. I also used his sword and left a cut on his neck," I finished, hoping that would be enough to satisfy him.

"Edward, I think you had better start from the beginning and explain to me exactly what caused you to lose your temper and lash out at James like that."

I proceeded to tell him the events of that night. Jasper nodded in understanding; it was classic behavior for Wickham. His face tense when I told him I had followed him into the alley and threatened him, the taunting words he had used in regard to Alice.

"Edward, I am not surprised that James would use such a threat; you were right to warn him. I would use every means within my power to hunt him down if he tried to disparage Alice's reputation. I have a feeling he knows this and that is why he has remained silent all this time. Yet this does not explain what would cause you to seek him out. I feel like something is missing here."

Damn Jasper and his invariable ability to analyze every angle of a situation. I needed to distract him.

"I was looking out for Emmett's best interests, as he plans on settling there. I could not allow James to roam unchecked, and I was disappointed with the lack of enthusiasm I received from Col. Black."

The look in his eyes told me he knew I was not giving him the whole story, but he took pity on me and accepted my explanation. We continued to talk until well after midnight. It seemed Alice had made many improvements since I went away. She was more willing to venture out into company and converse with others. I was pleased with these new developments; she would blossom into an amazing woman. After our talk, Jasper bid me good night and left to return home.

I walked slowly up the stairs, the exhaustion from traveling combined with the late hour finally taking its toll on my body. I reached my chambers and in my exhaustion was tempted to just fall asleep with clothing and all. Due to the lateness of the hour my valet had long since gone to bed and the idea of waking in a sweaty heap of clothing was less than appealing. I quickly peeled the garments from my body and when I was finally free I collapsed into bed, sleep overtaking me quickly.

"_Edward…Edward…"_

_I opened my eyes to a bright light. Looking around I found I was lying in my meadow at Pemberley, the soft grass at my back. I sat up to see where the voice was coming from when I heard musical laughter behind me. I turned to look behind me, but again there was nothing. _

"_Edward…" The voice was clearer and familiar._

_I turned back, and looking straight ahead, I saw Isabella walking toward me. She looked like a wood nymph, with flowers crowning her hair. Her beautiful brown locks cascaded around her shoulders and onto her back and chest. She was wearing a simple white gown. _

"_Exquisite," I murmured._

_She laughed again and stepped closer, within my reach._

_I stood and stepped forward enveloping her in my arms. _

"_Say you will be mine, Isabella. I need you more than you will ever know."_

"_Yes, Edward. I am yours." She smiled as she looked into my face._

_I bent my head down to kiss her lips._

I jolted awake by a loud knock at my door.

_Knock…knock…knock…_

I groaned; it was yet another dream. Was I never going to have any peace?

"Edward, are you awake? Mr. McCarty is here. You were scheduled to go into town to master Angelo's."

She paused, waiting for my answer.

"Yes, Alice, I am awake now. Please tell Emmett I will be down directly."

Exercise was exactly what I needed; no doubt a few bouts with the foil would be enough to clear this from my head. I needed to forget her; dwelling on the what-ifs would not help. I dressed and joined Emmett down stairs.

"I hope you are well rested, Emmett; I don't plan on going easy on you."

Emmett laughed. "Well, I do suppose I owe you a favor or two for all your help. I will take whatever you throw at me."

I smiled. "Yes, well as gentlemen, we will have to keep it fair."

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

It had been a couple of days since I had fenced with Emmett, and the exercise was exactly what I had needed. We had made a tentative appointment again for today. I was starting to feel restless again, as the dreams were still occurring nightly. I had hoped being home in my own bed and surrounded with familiar sights untainted by Isabella's presence would lessen the occurrence of the dreams. Yet she was everywhere. It was becoming torture to hold her and kiss her soft lips, only to awaken and find it all a dream. I stayed busy, for it was the only way to distract myself from the feelings that crept in when I was alone and thoughts of my time in Hertfordshire crept back into my mind. I was in my study at present, completing some necessary letters to my steward at Pemberley when I heard a knock on the door. Looking up, I saw Alice enter.

"Edward, Emmett just arrived; he asked to speak with you." She seemed uncomfortable and I was immediately on my guard.

"Thank you, Alice, I will speak with him directly. Please make yourself comfortable in the Library; I will come find you when I am done."

I bent down to kiss her head before walking out to find Emmett.

As I approached the foyer, I heard raised voices. What was going on?

"You should have waited at home. You have no business just showing up here, Tanya. And you have no right to push your way through the door."

_What_? "Oh, No," I groaned.

I was in no mood to deal with the Banshee; she had no right to impose herself on my house without an invitation.

I rounded the corner and stood before them; I was furious.

"Emmett, you may accompany me to my study."

I turned my gaze toward the Harpy. "Please leave, as your brother instructed, and if you ever accost one of my servants again, you will no longer be welcome in my home." She paled visibly.

I turned and motioned for Emmett to follow me, effectively dismissing her from my home.

Before we reached the hall I heard her awful screech.

"Wait!"

We turned and she had a simpering smile on her face.

"I just thought you would like hear the news from Hertfordshire. Mr. Newton has proposed to Miss Isabella."


	12. London

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

* * *

I was angry, pacing relentlessly back and forth in my chambers. A fire roared and crackled, yet I had no need of the warmth. My anger, coupled with my movement, was causing the perspiration on my body to seep through my clothing. I couldn't rest, I couldn't sleep, and I was furious.

How could Isabella do that to herself? How could she throw away her life on that simpering, pathetic excuse of a man?

The Harpy, no doubt, had ulterior motives for bringing such news. No matter, she would never benefit from it.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

"_I thought you would like to know, Mr. Newton has proposed to Miss Isabella."_

_My head spun back around and I was about to move forward and eject her from my home, when Emmett intervened._

"_That's enough, Tanya! I came here to speak to Edward alone. Go, you are embarrassing yourself."_

_He grabbed my arm and pulled me toward my study. I had never in my life wanted to physically harm a woman. She would definitely be the first. I could not bring myself to believe she knew I cared for Isabella. I had been careful, told no one. It seemed ironic that she would deliver the news that cut me the deepest._

_As we entered the study Emmett released my arm and closed the door. I walked over and sat down quickly, attempting to remain calm. The storm brewing in my emotions threatened to break free, and I did not want Emmett present when that happened._

"_Edward, I apologize, she was not supposed to come. In fact, I gave her explicit instructions to remain at the house."I nodded._

"_I think I need to hear what happened, please tell me everything you know."_

_I was eager, too eager, but at this point I was desperate and no longer cared._

"_Tanya arrived unannounced this morning. She said Mr. Crowley and Lauren grew tired of Hertfordshire, and wanted to return to London for the Christmas season. Not wanting to be alone, she took it upon herself to close up the house, dismiss all the servants and return to London. She claims she could not bear the loss of Lauren's company."_

_My mind suddenly filled with images of servants celebrating and dancing around her burning effigy. At this point I would volunteer to light the damn thing._

"_Are you telling me that without writing to consult you, she chose to take all that upon herself? On your behalf?" I was astonished. Lonely or not the Harpy had no right to make those decisions for Emmett. I highly doubted the damage could be repaired in the neighborhood. I had no doubt talk had already begun and would eventually make its way to London._

"_Yes, she did. I was not aware of Lauren's plans to leave. If I had known I would have just taken Tanya with me," he sighed._

_I scoffed. He was naive if he thought her leaving was merely from loneliness._

"_It will take a great deal to repair this breech with the neighborhood. I am not sure it is even worth the effort."_

_Emmett looked at me as if stricken._

"_You think I should give up the place entirely?"_

"_That is one solution, although I think it would be wise to finish out the lease and make your decision accordingly." He nodded, and I asked the question I was desperately in need of having answered._

"_How did Tanya happen upon news of Miss Isabella's engagement?" I tried to sound as uninterested as possible, but saying those words left a bitter taste in my mouth._

_Emmett eyed me for a moment, no doubt curious as to why I would care at all. It was no wonder, really, all we ever did in his presence was argue._

"_The servants informed her that Mr. Newton had proposed to Miss Isabella the day after the ball. Apparently, Mr. Newton is to inherit Longbourn upon Mr. Swan's death, and wanting to make restitution to the family, he decided to take one of his daughters for a wife. I believe, because Mr. Swan never fathered a son, his wife and daughters will be left with nothing."_

_Left with nothing? Then she would accept. There would be no reason not to._

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

Slowing, I walked over to the fireplace and leaned against the mantle. I watched the flames lick against the logs, consuming everything they touched. Isabella was my fire, she consumed me; the love and passion I felt for her was unlike anything I had ever hoped to attain. I had been a coward to hide behind my duty, believing it was for the good of my family. Now she was lost to me.

I could not help but feel resentful that she would have no choice in the matter. Mrs. Swan would do everything in her power to secure herself a comfortable future, even if it meant selling her daughter into a loveless marriage.

I laughed out loud, a solemn bitter laugh. It took _losing_her to finally open my eyes to what she truly meant to me. I thought back to all the times I had been with Isabella; her fiery spirit stood out among all the lifeless debutant's vying for my eye. Much like my mother, Isabella was a fearless woman with strong opinions, and a generous heart. I was heartbroken to think of that fire slowly dying as the years of dreariness and monotony extinguished her spirit.

I would focus on Alice and attempt to find a suitable wife for myself. It was the least I could do for her.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

The Christmas holidays were fast approaching. I had taken to attending more assemblies and plays than was my usual habit, and it seemed the women of London had taken notice; they were attending in droves. I was informed by not only Alice, but Jasper as well, all hoped this was the year I would finally settle on a wife. I was shocked that so many women had held onto the hope that I would choose them. Jasper chuckled as he said.

"You are in danger of disappointing not only the _women_ when you finally choose, but the men have been waiting for you to finally settle down so that they might have a shot at some of the eligible ladies."

I had been shocked by his reference to all these young women waiting, saving themselves for me. I had been nothing but contemptuous of the whole process. I was quite sure I had never given any of them even the slightest hope I was interested. As far as I was concerned, they were all the same.

Today I was escorting Alice around town to do some shopping for gifts. Although Christmas remained a quiet affair we still managed to exchange gifts.

I thought back to a happier time when Pemberley was bedecked in red ribbons and evergreen garlands. The smell of chestnuts and cider filled the house. I could see a small boy running through the great hall, his laughter echoing off the cavernous walls. I remembered my mother and father sitting by the fire, Alice lying contentedly in my mothers arms and I on the rug in front of her. My father would read to us; it was tradition.

After my mother's death the tradition stopped, and Christmas became a more sober affair a few years after my father joined her. I could not bear to be at Pemberley during the Christmas holiday, the house was shrouded in mourning. Alice and I had since spent Christmas in London; it was a clean slate with no haunting memories to darken the day.

I shook off these unhappy thoughts not wanting my mood to affect Alice in anyway. I was waiting patiently in the front foyer for her to appear so we could be on our way.

Not a moment later she walked into the room.

"I am ready brother, are you?" She was forever teasing me about my dislike of the shopping district.

"Yes, Alice, I love every opportunity to be in your company. Come, the dress maker awaits, and from what I hear Madame Cope is not to be kept waiting."

She giggled. "Silly Edward, you know that she blocked out the entire day to attend to my fittings personally. She has always taken prodigiously good care of me. I suspect she feels that without Mamma, I need a woman's guidance in matters of fashion."

I gave her a look of mocked hurt. "Are you saying I am ill qualified to assist you in ordering your dresses?"

"Oh Edward, I am sure you would not last five minutes in one of those shops."

I was confused. It couldn't be that terrible, could it?

"Whatever do you mean Alice?" I questioned her as I assisted her into the carriage.

"Let's just say that I endure them because I can not very well walk around in rags or worse, nothing. Yet, if I did not have Madame C, I would have given serious thought to those options."

I laughed, "You do not paint a pleasing picture, Alice, so I will take your word on it and stay away."

We continued to talk for the remainder of the journey. As we pulled up to the Madame C's shop I assisted Alice down from the carriage and escorted her inside.

Immediately we were inundated with help from every angle as a large, boisterous woman appeared from behind the curtain.

"Charmante demoiselle, quel plaisir de vous revoir!" She always was an exuberant lady.

"Merci, Madame" Alice answered with a curtsy.

"Ah, Alice, you know I treasure each of your visits. Like your mother before you, you have excellent taste. It makes my job worth while."

I turned to Alice, "I will call back for you in three hours time, will that be sufficient time for all you need to accomplish?"

Alice was about to answer when Madame C spoke up. "We will be just fine, young man, go and find your beautiful sister a gift."

I shook my head, she had a knack for putting people at ease while nudging them in the right direction. I leaned down and kissed Alice on the head before leaving the shop.

I walked quickly toward my desired destination. I was having a necklace of my mother reset as a gift for Alice. Although I knew she was too young to remember, my mother had often worn this particular necklace during the Christmas season. I had noticed many of the prongs that held the ruby stones in place had become loose. Not wanting to lose any of the stones I had brought it to town to have them reset in a new necklace. I was loath to change any part of this priceless treasure but sometime changes are for the best, even if we cannot see it at the time.

The new setting was timeless and I hope she liked it. I found that as she aged the buying of gifts became more difficult.

Alice would be turning eighteen this summer. I had racked my brain, trying to think of the perfect gift. But nothing seemed to fit. I exited the shop and noticed I still had several hours.

I began walking North, pausing every once in a while at a particular shop window. I approached a music shop and stopped to listen to the melody of the piano. A new piano! That would be the perfect gift for Alice. I would never part with my mother's piano, but a new one would mean the world to Alice.

I would put my plan into motion as soon as I returned home. I needed to write and commission the instrument so she would have it in time for her birthday.

As I kept walking the crowds of people were thinning, I was unsure if it was due to a lack of shops in this area or due to the cold beginning to settle in. I reached the street corner and silently mused about which direction to take. Looking up to decipher the street name I realized I was standing in front of Hartcourt house. I had not been to this place in years; my first visit had been with my father. The very few after were in times of extreme loneliness.

Is that what I was? Lonely? Would the company of a woman help soothe the ache left from the loss of Isabella?

I walked toward the door, placing my hand on the elegant brass door knocker. It would be so easy to bury my pain in pleasure. Yet I knew it would be hollow and meaningless, no doubt I would come out of it feeling worse than before. I pulled my hand back and walked away.

Making my way back toward the dress shop I noticed a gallery tucked away in an obscure alleyway of the street. I still had time and decided to peruse the artwork. A bell on the door chimed as I walked through, and looking around I noticed the artist's preferred medium was oils, though there were some watercolor paintings as well. I looked to the back of the shop and saw a separate door half closed. It was the main studio. The door opened, and an older gentleman stepped out to greet me, having heard the bells on the door as I stepped inside.

"Welcome Sir. Are you here to pick up a commission?"

"No, I just happened upon your shop and would like to view your gallery."

"Oh, very good Sir, I will leave you to view in peace. Please come and get me if you are in need of assistance, I will just be beyond this door, in my studio."

With that he returned through the door, to continue working I presumed.

The paintings were all similar in style; it seemed he favored fantastical romantic landscapes and scenes. I was impressed and although I did not care for that particular subject matter I wondered why I had never heard of the gentleman before. I rounded the final corner; so far nothing had captured my interest enough to add it to the Pemberley collection. It was then, when I looked ahead, that I saw it. I could not help but gasp.

There, in front of me, was a lush meadow filled with lavender, a beautiful wood nymph standing in the center. It was not only the uncanny resemblance to my meadow at Pemberley, but the wood nymph was in every way Isabella. The woman's face was turned to the right and thus obscured, but her body shape and hair was exactly how I saw her in my dreams. I studied it closer and realized she was wearing a white gossamer gown cropped at the knees, a ring of flowers in her hair. I could barley contain myself, it was just too much.

Though it was perhaps a bit hasty, I decided I must have this portrait. Though the resemblance was not exact I would not allow another soul to look upon what I dreamed of each night. I bought the portrait on the spot and the gentleman was very please. He would arrange to have it delivered to my town home, where I would hang it in my private chambers.

I hurried to the dress makers knowing Alice was finished. She was waiting for me, but to my relief she had not been waiting long.

"So, brother, care to share what kept you?" She smirked knowing I would not divulge her present before Christmas.

"You know very well you will have to wait until Christmas, just like all the years past." I grinned and her lips moved into a petulant pout.

"Not even the pout will succeed Alice." I teased

"Oh very well, "she smiled as I handed her into the carriage.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

Christmas came and went, along with a new year. As I expected, Alice loved my gift for her, she said she would treasure it always. She loved that she could carry a part of our mother with her, since she had no memories to reflect on. Jasper joined us for Christmas dinner, and I had a visit from Emmett. He seemed to be improving ever so slightly and I hoped he would continue to do so.

On a cold February morning Alice joined me, though it was not her usual routine, and I was stunned by her question.

"Will you travel to Kent to see our Aunt for Easter?"

We rarely spoke of Aunt Irena, she was a difficult old bat for the even the most devout person to handle.

"I expect Jasper and I will hear from her soon. We travel every year, as you know. Why, is something amiss?"

Alice looked down and was quiet, almost apprehensive.

I took her hand in an attempt to calm her. "Whatever it is, please tell me, Alice."

"I received a letter from her recently. Though that is not uncommon, she was more direct in her reproofs of proper manners and my music education. I know she means well but Edward, I truly resent her remarks sometimes. They make me feel inadequate, and a failure."

She finally looked up with tears swimming in her eyes and I drew her to me.

"Alice, you know our Aunt talks a great deal and is very difficult on even myself some days. Know this; the only person that should be concerned with your upbringing is Jasper and myself, and we have _never_ found anything lacking."

She enveloped me in a tight hug. "Thank you, Edward. You always know just what to say to alleviate my fears and bring a smile to my face."

_Why could I not do the same for Isabella_? I thought bitterly.

"I understand Mr. McCarty will not be returning to Hertfordshire. Was he displeased with the estate?

"Who told you this, Alice? I have heard nothing of his plans."

"Oh, Tanya informed me in her last letter."

"You know better than to believe anything that woman writes. I would ask you to just burn all her letters upon arrival. There is no reason for you to waste your time with her nonsense."

She giggled. "Tanya has always grated on your nerves, hasn't she. Thank heaven, for I could not stomach her as a sister."

"Speaking of which, I would love to meet this Isabella Swan someday, Edward. I know you did not part on the best of terms, but I feel I will meet her one day."

I sighed, not wanting to inform her of Isabella's current engagement. It was still too painful for me to think about, much less speak the words out loud.

"I hope so too, my dear. It would be nice to see Miss Isabella again."

Images of Isabella and Alice together at Pemberley invaded my dreams that night. The two of them laughing and huddled together reading and discussing poetry. Oh how Alice would adore Isabella. It was easy to create happiness in my dreams. It was when I was awake that the reality crept in.

February quickly faded and March was quickly approaching when I received a letter from my aunt.

_Dearest nephew, _

_I look forward to your upcoming visit with great anticipation, as does your cousin Kate. Her health has improved much this winter, which I am certain you will notice. I had hoped to introduce Mr. Newton and his new wife, whom I understand you have already met in Hertfordshire. I was disappointed not to be the first to make introductions. I expect to see you and Col Whitlock a week prior to the Easter holiday._

_Till then,_

_Lady Irena Denali_

My hand was shaking uncontrollably by the end of the letter. I felt physically ill at the thought of Isabella already married to that pompous ass. I had to force away the thoughts entering my mind. He would have the right to hold her hand and kiss her, and heaven forbid even…

_No! _

That was too much; I would certainly destroy everything in my study if I allowed my mind to venture down that path.

All the women I had tried to see had merely failed to live up to my perfect woman. I was filled by Isabella Swan, and I knew now it would always be this way. No woman could ever compare to her and I would have to live with that knowledge. Any woman I married would simply be second to her in every way.

* * *

**A special thank you to LitanyG for the French translations.**

**"Charmante demoiselle, quel plaisir de vous revoir!" (Ah my beautiful girl, I am pleased to see you today)**

**"Merci Madame" (thank you Madame)  
**


	13. Kent

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

**

* * *

**

**March 1813**

"Do you expect this visit to be much the same as in years past?"

If he only knew how very different this visit was going to be, I was sure he would refrain from asking such a question.

"I am sure we will endure the same ridiculously lavish accommodations, the endless innuendo, and food that could kill a man with even the most iron stomach."

Jasper chuckled before nodding and continuing.

"Do you think she will finally get the hint that you and Kate will never marry? Why do you not simply set her straight?"

_Damn if he does not go right for the throat every time._

"Do you think she would simply give up if I were to say, 'Aunt Irena, I am not, nor have I ever been interested in Kate in any way. Please stop harboring these foolish notions that I will ever marry your daughter.' You think that will do?"

Jasper shrugged. "If you think she would listen. Though I think she would drop dead if you ever spoke to her that way."

"I doubt it; the old Bat will live just to spite me."I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, not really wanting him to continue his questioning.

The landscape was quickly turning into the familiar wooded area that was Kent. I had tried to put all thoughts of Isabella from my mind; no good would come from me dwelling on circumstances I could not change. She was lost, and as much as it made me physically ill to admit, she belonged to Mr. Newton now.

"Edward, do we need to stop? You look positively green around the collar. Are you going to be sick?" Jasper's tone was sincere; perhaps a little air would do me good. Jasper slid down the window, directing the coachman to pull over at the next available location. It seemed not too long till we came to a stop, and I stumbled from the carriage gasping for air. This would not do. I could not afford for her to have this kind of affect on me. She was married, for heaven's sake, not just promised. My stomach heaved a bit at the thought and I inhaled slowly, willing the sensation away.

"Are you quite all right Edward? I am becoming concerned; it is not like you to be so unsettled."

"I must have eaten something that unsettled my stomach. Give me a few moments and I will be ready to travel."

Lord, it sounded false even to me, yet Jasper seemed to accept it. I paced, putting all thoughts of the impending apocalyptic meeting from my mind. After a few more moments, I was feeling marginally better and we continued on to Kent in silence.

Not much time passed before we arrived at the edge of Rosings. The old trees and wooded area were familiar, as I took to walking and riding in them as much as possible on my visits. Up ahead was the vicarage at Huntsford, and I had to look away. I was not yet ready for that.

"Edward!" Jaspers loud voice echoed inside the carriage.

"The most ridiculous looking man is chasing after the carriage, waving his hat. It looks like his poor legs are trying desperately to keep up with him. And his _feet_, he is kicking them high enough to be bruising his backside. I give him another ten paces before he falls on his face."

I looked back to see whom he meant, and was greeted with the sight of Mr. Newton running as if his life depended on it, following after our carriage. I was unable to make out what he was shouting, but I had no desire to stop and converse with the vicar. I picked up my cane and pounded on the ceiling, indicating to the driver to move faster.

I turned to Jasper and replied.

"I am tired and unwell and have no desire to find out what could possibly cause that man to act in such a way."

"True I wonder who the man is. Lady Irena would have his hide for such a display. I could have sworn he was dressed like a Vicar."

I shrugged, feigning ignorance; it was easier than the truth.

The carriage pulled into Rosings, where I was greeted by the same pretentious gardens and fountains, unchanged since my Aunt had married Lord Denali. Though the old Bat had once been considered beautiful, her opinions and attitude were far from it. She bordered on the extreme with her tastes and company, preferring rank and class over even blood. She had transformed the once regal and elegant Rosings Park into a monument to everything fashionable and gaudy. Useless furniture lined the rooms, too precious for use. It made the home feel like a tomb.

As we pulled up to the house I noticed several servants waiting at attention at the front steps. It made me angry; who knew how long these poor men had been standing out here dressed in full Rosings livery, waiting to simply open our door. I shook my head and Jasper raised a confused eyebrow.

"Even though they are servants there is no need for them to stand out here, waiting upon our arrival. I would be unsurprised if she positioned them here at first light."

Jasper chuckled and looked out to where the servants came to life and moved toward our carriage to assist us.

"You would think she thought we were geriatric to send this many men to help."

"No, Jasper, she is only trying to flaunt her position. Which is ridiculous, because we are well aware of who she is." I rolled my eyes.

The door swung open and a pair of men assisted us down from the coach.

"I know you would never hear the end of it if you did not wait upon us hand and foot, but I assure you it is not necessary. We can find our way, if you would just direct our men to our chambers with the trunks." I smiled and the man seemed to almost cry with relief.

"Thank you, sir. We will show your valets to your chambers immediately." I nodded.

Jasper and I walked about a bit to stretch our legs and clear our heads, before meeting with the old Bat.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

After refreshing ourselves, we were directed into the formal sitting room, where my Aunt was waiting. It was the same routine we endured every visit. As we approached the doors, a pair of servants were there to open them. I steeled myself for the usual comments and advice.

The room looked the same; even the smell was that same sickly antiseptic smell because everything was continually washed and cleaned. It was not that I was against cleanliness, but Lady Irena took it to the extreme.

"Gentlemen, at last! I was afraid your carriage had over-set itself. I expected you hours ago. How are my favorite nephew and my godson?" Her voice was shrill, but gravelly.

"My apologies, Lady Irena; the journey seemed to upset Edward's constitution and we needed to stop for him to get some air. I assure you, we did not intend on upsetting you."

Jasper was a master at diffusing tense situations.

"Very well; I would suggest you rest before dinner. But first, you must greet your cousin, Edward. Do you not think she has improved much over the winter?"

I looked at Kate, who was sitting quietly on the sofa, encased in blankets. Her skin looked less waxing than I remembered, perhaps she was getting better. I walked over and took her hand.

"Dear Cousin, you are looking remarkably well. I hope you continue to improve."

She looked at me with a knowing smile; the show we put on for her mother was one of long standing.

"Thank you, Edward. You have always been so kind."

Jasper came over and also remarked on how well - recovered she looked.

We all knew that if Lady Irena would allow her out of doors more often, it would improve Kate's constitution immensely.

"Yes, I dare say if she continues to improve, I will be able to present her at court this summer."

Kate's smile fell immediately and she began coughing.

"Carmen, please assist Kate to her chambers. She is in need of rest after all this excitement."

I looked from the old Bat to Kate, and she winked at me. _Clever girl_.

"I suppose you will also require some time before dinner. Very well, I expect you at five sharp."

With that we were dismissed, and both headed for our respective rooms for a hot bath and a change of clothes after our journey.

I stripped and stepped into the copper bath. The water was hot and it went far to soothe my aching muscles. I had not realized how tired I was as of late. My dreams were still occurring; it was there I could, touch and speak to Isabella without the harshness of reality crashing down upon us. I would look into her beautiful eyes, and get lost in the endless love I would see radiating from them. But dreams were just that; dreams, and would disappear as quickly as they came, leaving me once again bereft.

With the help of my valet, I dressed quickly, intending to speak with Kate before dinner. I owed her an apology and wanted to waste no time. I headed toward the library, knowing she would be hiding away from the old Bat.

I entered quickly, as to not rouse suspicion. I saw her tucked away in the corner, reading. This was her sanctuary, where she could feel normal.

"Kate," I called as I approached her.

"Edward," she smiled. "I am so glad you came to see me. I have missed our conversations, you know."

"Yes, I know," I admitted sheepishly. "I have not been a very good friend, Kate."

She frowned but remained silent.

"I owe you an apology."

She opened her mouth to protest but I raised my hand to stop her.

"Please let me say this. I have been grossly unfair to you. I know we decided long ago that we would never marry, and choose instead to play along with Lady Irena's delusions. I look at the situation now and cannot help but think if I had been a good friend, I would have stood up to her and told her there was no way we would marry, thus clearing the way for you and Garrett to finally be together."

I slumped into the chair; I had hoped the confession would lift the burden I felt. However, it only served to weigh my heart with more guilt. As I spoke the words aloud, I realized just how much of a selfish coward I had been.

Kate grabbed my hand before she spoke.

"Edward, we both know she will not give up until you say 'I will.'"

She squeezed my hand affectionately.

"I will not have you enter into a loveless marriage simply to release me. I could not bear the guilt of it. Garrett is aware of our plight and is willing to wait for me. I love him and trust him to take care of me when the time comes. My happiness will not be complete until you find that special person."

Ah, but I had found her, only to lose her.

"Kate, you are a saint. And I not only say that because you continue to release me of all guilt, but because you bear your situation like no other."

She laughed, causing me to smile. I loved it when I could get her to laugh and smile. Sadly, it happened only rarely.

"I know it will happen for you, Cousin, and when it does, you will be powerless to stop it."

I smiled and excused myself, her words like sage advice. If only she knew just how powerless I had been. I had acted in ways I found repulsive, surprising and yet I felt more alive than I ever had.

I finally understood what it was like to be in love.

To love another with every fiber of your being, that no matter how unsuitable she was, nor the consequences that came with that decision, Isabella was my other half. As my mother often said, great love came but rarely and usually with a heavy price. Was mine to accept that she belonged to another?

I located Jasper and we both went down for dinner. I was not looking forward to more conversation tonight. Perhaps I could make excuses for being ill.

As if reading my mind Jasper agreed with my thoughts. "Edward, no one would mind if you simply retired early. Truly you look ill."

Did I really look that bad?

"Are you saying I am not fit to be seen?" I smirked.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "I was simply trying to help spare you an evening of Lady Irena. But if you insist, please. She always favors you anyway."

"I doubt she will feel that way after I inform her I have no intention of marrying her daughter."

He looked astonished. "You mean to tell her then?"

"Yes, it is sadly overdue, and I feel it needs to be done. Kate deserves to be happy, and she will never be happy surrounded by the suffocating propriety the old Bat has shoved down her throat."

"Tread carefully, Edward. You know as well as I she's had this match in her head since your mother's death. I highly doubt she will give it up easily."

"I am well aware of just how much she will balk at the thought of me marrying anyone but Kate. She even tries to throw some death bed promise my mother supposedly made with her, in my face. I was, however, informed of no such promise, and neither was my father."

I laughed.

"In fact, he told Lady Irena that I was under no such obligation. And if she continued to press the matter he would write in his will that everything would go to Alice on his death, leaving me without a penny."

Jasper joined me in laughing.

"You never told me that. I could just picture your father saying that to her. He really was the only one that could handle her, wasn't he?"

"I believe it was because he knew that despite rank he was in a position to be her equal. And even though she was my mother's sister, she never warmed to my father. I think that she secretly harbor resentment that my mother married a man whom she loved, and got everything else as well. While she married a Lord, as was expected, and had mutual regard, but never love."

"Interesting. I believe that would make anyone bitter. Perhaps she feels she is being practical with the match."

"Jasper, the only thing she is after is securing her place as mistress of Rosings until her death. See, Lord Denali left everything to Kate, and upon her marriage the old Bat will be consigned to the Dower house."

"You mean that drafty old house on the south edge of the property?"

"The very one!" I laughed.

"I can see her motivation. That house is in need of more than just repairs; I would think it should be torn down all together. Would she not be happy settling in Bath, or London?"

"She will never willing relinquish control over Rosings, or Kate, for that matter. Although, Kate is of age and free to make her own decisions, but I do not feel she would ever openly oppose her mother like that."

"And so her happiness rests on you finding a wife?"

"Yes," I admitted reluctantly.

Jasper nodded, he seemed to understand more than I said aloud. Neither of us wanted loveless marriages.

"Well you certainly have taken your time, haven't you?"

I glared at him, "Yes and there is no need to rub it in, thank you."

He let it drop as we were about to enter the sitting room. I took a deep breath and steeled myself for an evening of tedious nothings. We entered and found Lady Irena, Kate and Carmen all seated and awaiting our arrival.

"I trust you are well rested after your journey?"

"Yes, Lady Irena, the accommodations are faultless, as always."

She smiled, though her face was not quite capable of expressing it beyond a grim line.

"I feel it is my duty to anticipate the needs of my guests. You young men should know that by now. Tell me, did you travel the usual roads, and were they well taken care of? I specifically wrote the man at the changing post with the directive that you be taken care of quickly. These men can take all day unless given the proper motivation."

I had no desire to know what motivation those men required.

"They were swift and accommodating, I assure you."

She seemed satisfied for the moment. She turned toward Jasper and began her interrogation of his military career. It was no secret that the old Bat was not happy with Jasper's choice to become a military man. She felt he could have done better, as a statesman or in the law. As his godmother, she felt this disappointment acutely and was very vocal about her displeasure.

"So, you have achieved the rank of Colonel, have you? I am surprised you stuck to this as long as you have. I thought for sure it was merely a passing phase."

Jasper, who was as tolerant as he was fierce, merely smiled and responded. "Yes, it seems to suit me quite well, and I find satisfaction in serving my country and my king."

Her eyes narrowed slightly, "Well, I suppose."

"So tell me, what will your opinion be when you are sent to France to die for king and country?"

Jasper's fist tightened behind his back, he was upset but willing himself to calm. It was a low blow, and the old Bat knew it. She smirked evilly.

"There is no greater honor than to die for king and country, especially in the pursuit of freeing those enslaved by a man who holds no more honor than a petty criminal."

I looked at him, shocked, as Lady Irena audibly gasped. I looked at Kate who was grinning widely. It was not often her mother was rendered speechless.

"Pardon my intrusion, my Lady, but the vicar, his wife, and guest have arrived."

My blood chilled.

I was not prepared to see her. I couldn't, I was not strong enough. I could not look into her beautiful eyes and see the light extinguished from them. _Oh please god_, I prayed, I cannot do this.

I was tense and rigged and Jasper noticed. "Edward, what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell? Perhaps after this afternoon you should have stayed in bed."

I only nodded my head in the negative. I had, it seemed, lost my ability to speak.

Mr. Newton entered first followed by… Miss Stanley? Who was followed by Isabella, my Isabella.

As she walked into the room she looked in our direction. Her gaze fell on Jasper and then on myself, where her eyes widened and she seemed surprised to see me here. I would have thought she would have been informed of my visit weeks ago. I continued to look into her eyes, will her to see me, _the man_, not my position. I could not look away, it was impossible, I could easily get lost in her face, every glace expression, sigh. A beautiful blush grazed her cheeks. I willed her to read my thoughts.

_That's right, Isabella, I know you can feel this, no matter what path fate takes us, I love you. Oh, why did you do it? Why did you sell yourself into a lifetime of dreariness? Please, Isabella, tell me that there is something that can be done. Anything!_

Somewhere in the fog of my emotions I heard Lady Irena speak.

"Well, it seems that you have already had the pleasure of an introduction Edward, yet the Colonel has not. Colonel, this is Mr. Newton and his wife Jessica, and her friend Isabella Swan."

I was shocked; whatever calm facade I had created was beginning to crack. All rational thought was gone. My knees buckled, I only just caught myself before anyone noticed.

_She is free? How is this possible!_

I continued to stare into her face; looking for answers to questions I so desperately needed answers to. Though her face told me nothing, I continued to look intently upon her. Lord, she was beautiful.

I felt a sharp nudge in my ribs. "Edward," Jasper hissed. "What is wrong, man? You look like you have gone into shock."

I tore my eyes from hers and whispered, "I am in need of air, I will return shortly."

I turned and practically ran from the room. The hallway seemed forever long; I could not seem to reach the end. Finally I reached the door leading to the gardens. It was sunset and the sculptures were bathed in a rose-colored glow. I inhaled and blew out a slow, measured breath.

She was free, unmarried, single, unattached.

I could pursue her.

Despite all the objections I had leveled against such a marriage, I knew only _she_ could make me happy. I would court her and before leaving Kent, ask her to be my wife.


	14. The Old Bat

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

The sun had set, and darkness began to cover the gardens. I nearly ran as I made my way back to the drawing room. I couldn't help the smile on my face. I needed to see Isabella, if only to assure myself that this was not just a dream. My decision should have terrified me, but all I could feel was a sense of serenity.

Everything was finally coming together; nothing could darken my mood.

As I approached the room, I took a deep breath before reaching out for the door knob. However, before I could turn it, the door opened and there before me stood the Old Bats ill tempered butler, Caius.

_Damn it._

I suppose I was too hasty with my thoughts.

Caius stared at me with a look of absolute loathing and disdain. For a servant, he seemed to have an unusually high opinion of himself. He was just as grumpy today as he had been when I was a boy. I had never understood why Uncle Aro, God rest his soul, would never admonish him more for his attitude. He was insubordinate and took great delight in making our stays absolute hell. I decided later it must have been Aunt Irena who spoke for him; their attitudes were perfectly matched.

Dinner would be served soon, and I really had no desire to give the Old Bat more reason to note the rudeness of my departure. I had already expected the 'Young man, I don't care if you're ill; people of our class do not simply beg off social engagements. It is our duty to attend no matter our condition.' She was insufferable when it came to manners and etiquette, to the point I wondered if she was so critical of others to cover up her own insufficiencies.

I waited only a moment for Caius to step aside, when it was apparent he had other ideas. I walked around him, carful to keep my eyes forward. Caius was easier to deal with if I pretended he didn't exist. I couldn't have timed my entrance better; Lady Irena was distracted and thus I was spared her lectures.

_For the moment._

I was momentarily relived and allowed myself to search for Isabella. She was speaking with her friend, who was blocking her from my view. I confess I was disappointed. I wanted nothing more than to stare into her beautiful eyes with my newly found sense of determination.

"Edward." Jasper came up with a confused look on his face.

"I see the outside air did you some good. You look better than I have seen in days," he chuckled to himself.

"Yes, well, you know how I get here. Rosings always seems to get to me and for some reason more swiftly this time. I just had a run in with Caius."

Jasper shook his head, "Still harboring a grudge from when you lost Jane and Alec, is he?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I have no idea why he was so attached to those two, even if they were Uncle Aro's prized hunting dogs. They were always a bit unstable; I would never trust them on a hunt. I always expected them to turn on me and bite a huge chunk from my limbs."

We both chuckled in mutual understanding before I thought back to a more disturbing memory.

"Do you remember the time we followed Uncle Aro and Dad when they went shooting? Uncle took the dogs and they spent the entire time staring at us; it was unnerving."

"Yes, and when we finally arrived, the poor stable hand had the terrible job of bathing those two. I remember he had to get stitches on both arms from the bites inflicted by the beasts. After that every servant flatly refused to bathe them."

We both shuddered at the memory.

I confess I was not sad when the dogs were lost. They had, unbeknownst to me, followed me on one of my rides. It had occurred about five years back and I was exploring deeper into the Rosings forests, when I noticed the dogs. I was not about to make any extra effort on behalf of those crazy animals; if they chose to follow so be it. I was not their keeper. Unfortunately, they never made it home. Caius was furious and refused to leave his room. Aunt Irena, who never really cared for the dogs, had no opinion other than to say she regretted the loss of her late husband's favorite dogs. To my benefit, I was able to enjoy the remainder of my stay, dog and Caius free.

"I always maintained there was something off about those two dogs, though you have to admit they _were_ excellent hunting dogs." I mused

Jasper nodded in agreement.

"I suppose Aro only kept them around for that reason. They were dreadful pets; Kate was completely terrified of Jane. She wouldn't even sit in a room alone with that dog."

"Gentlemen! If you would be so kind to join us for dinner, we are waiting."

We turned to face an angry Lady Irena, which was never a good thing.

"Yes, your Ladyship." We both mumbled

We were led to our seats, and while I was hoping to sit with a view of Isabella, I was seated opposite of Kate.

_No doubt by design on the part of the Old Bat, I thought sourly. _

She gave me a small apologetic smile, I waved her off. She had no reason to apologize.

As I sat, I looked to my right and realized I would be sitting next to Isabella. Her lavender smell teased my senses and I was overcome with her nearness.

How am I going to survive the next few hours?

Our bodies sat only inches away from one another. With a shock, I realized I could simply extend my hand and caress hers.

_I wonder how she would react if I were to take her hand_, I mused.

I shook off such dangerous thought. Isabella was a lady, and as such, she deserved to be treated appropriately.

The first course arrived and conversation dwindled to a dull whisper. I gathered the courage to speak to her.

I turned to look at her. "Is your family well, Miss Isabella?

She was bringing the spoon to her lips; I noticed her posture stiffened at my voice. I was not sure how she would feel about me addressing her in front of my Aunt. But I was determined to not waste any more time.

"They are all in excellent health, thank you," she answered in a quiet voice.

Her tone was no doubt a product of the Rosings atmosphere; it would stifle even the most jovial person.

"My sister, Rosalie, has been in town these past weeks; perhaps you had an opportunity to see her." She quirked her eyebrow in that wonderful playful manner, sending my emotions into a frenzy.

"No, I have not had that privilege. Where is she staying?"

The corner of her lips arose before she answered, "With my Aunt and Uncle in Cheapside."

Ah, _those_ relations. No matter, she would not get the rise from me she was seeking.

Not being one to be left out, Lady Irena joined the conversation. "Miss Isabella, your father's estate is entailed on Mr. Newton, I believe." She turned toward the rector. "This is a very good thing for you, Mr. Newton. You and your wife will have a comfortable estate to look forward to."

I was aghast. What a horrible thing to say in front of Isabella. However, I almost laughed aloud as Mr. Newton nodded his head with such vigor that I was afraid it would fall off.

She continued, "I see no occasion for entailing estates away from the female line. Kate will inherit all upon my death, as it should be," she added arrogantly.

Turning her attention back to her, the Old Bat asked. "Do you play and sing, Miss Isabella?"

"A little... and very poorly." She was looking confused as to why she was being addressed, and frankly, so was I. Lady Irena rarely took the trouble of discussing niceties with those she considered beneath her. I was however, disturbed a how Isabella was understating her talents.

"Hmm, do any of your sisters play?"

"Only one, your ladyship." Isabella answered, and then turned her attention back to her soup, no doubt trying to end the conversation. However, my aunt was not finished.

"And what of drawing? Do any of your sisters draw?"

"Not one, Lady Denali." Isabella answer sounded harsh, but it was no wonder, this line of questioning was becoming tiresome.

"Not one? Did your mother never take you to town for the benefits of the masters?"

Isabella smiled. "I am sure my mother would have loved that, but my father hates town."

A few moments of silence ensued before the Old Bat spoke again.

"Has your governess left you?"

Isabella looked up with an exasperated expression, "We never had a governess your ladyship."

"What? Five girls and no governess? I have never heard of such a thing!" she exclaimed rudely.

I rolled my eyes. This _was_ getting absurd.

"Your mother must have been quite the slave to your educations. Either that or you were all left to your own devices and were no doubt neglected," Lady Irena stated with finality.

_As if she knew there circumstances intimately_, I scoffed to myself.

"Not at all, your ladyship," Isabella answered in a calm voice. I was surprised she could maintain such a calm air about herself. I would have been beyond control by this point.

"Well, if I had known your mother, I would have most seriously encouraged her to seek one out. It is impossible to control the education of five young women and maintain any air of dignity. That is what a governess is for."

_Dignity?_

"I assure you Lady Irena, we were never in want; we had access to masters that suited our particular needs. I suppose if one were inclined to be idle, it would suit very poorly indeed, but as we never had that inclination it allowed learning and discovery to flourish."

My mouth opened, I looked at my aunt who was simply aghast. I then looked over at Jasper who was equally astonished. No one had ever publicly contradicted my aunt, it was simply not done.

_But I must confess, I enjoyed every minute of it_.

Not wanting to allow Isabella the last say, the Old Bat continued.

"Tell me, Miss Isabella, are all your sisters out?"

"Yes, your Ladyship, all five."

"What? All five out at once? I have never heard of such a thing. The younger ones out before the elder are married?"

_I wondered if this was to be a reoccurring theme- 'all the things Lady Denali had never heard of.'_

"Yes, your ladyship. Though, I think it fine that younger sisters get their share of amusement and not have it stifled by the fact the elder have neither the desire nor inclination to marry."

"You must be very young yet, Miss Isabella, pray tell, what is your age?"

Isabella smirked before answering. "With all my sisters out you can hardly expect me to own to it, your ladyship."

She paused before answering, "I am not yet one and twenty."

"Well…" With that, Lady Irena turned to converse with people who were more likely to fan her vanity, and Isabella certainly was not the woman for that.

I replayed the odd encounter in my mind and something that stuck out and made me uneasy with her statement was about not being inclined nor the desire to marry. I knew she had refused Mr. Newton, but I assumed it was because he was an idiot. I never took into account she would never want to marry.

_She will. If I were to make her an offer, how could she refuse?_

My subconscious soothed my fears, and I pushed the nagging feeling to the side.

Dinner proceeded with mundane conversation, mostly revolving around the Old Bats many accomplishments. She made no secret of all the praise she received for her various charitable works.

_Her Idea of charity is to stick her nose into other people's business._

When dinner was finally finished, we retired to the drawing room for coffee and conversation.

Isabella was seated and looked quite bored. This life was not for her. Although she possessed the proper manners deemed appropriate for company, she had more to give.

She could make a person smile, make someone simply enjoy life.

"Miss Isabella, would you play the pianoforte for us?"

Isabella looked in the direction of my Aunt; her posture told me she was ready to be berated once more.

"Your Ladyship, I was not exaggerating earlier when I said I played a little and poorly. Surely there is someone else whom could play better than I."

Poorly? I had never heard such a sweet blending of song and music in my life. Surely she could not think so lowly of her talent.

"No, you must play for us. And during your stay you are welcome to the piano forte in the west wing. Since my husband's death no one goes in that part of the house. You will not be a bother to anyone over there."

I was astounded at the ill-mannered civility my aunt was showing. How could I have not recognized this sooner? It seemed that she had gotten worse, becoming more fixed in her ways without anyone to check her.

_And you thought the same of Isabella for her relatives_.

It seemed my subconscious was not above pointing out all my recent offenses.

A slow enchanting melody began to fill the air, and I realized Isabella had moved to play as she was instructed.

I also noticed Jasper was gone.

The Old Bat was regaling Mrs. Newton with tales of her latest achievement of kindness; some young woman she had helped place as a governess. I rolled my eyes and took the opportunity to go and find Jasper.

_I also wanted to listen to Isabella play without being watched._

I stood quickly and made my way toward the piano, and there standing next to my Isabella was Jasper. _What was he up to? Why would he have any interest in speaking with her?_ I knew it was irrational, but seeing him standing next to her brought a jealousy I was unable to account for. She turned her head toward him; looking into his face, she smiled and laughed.

_Why is she laughing for him?_

Jasper also laughed, and I wanted nothing more than to run him through.

I made my way over to the opposite side of the piano forte, and listened to her play while looking directly into her eyes.

She lifted her eyes and looked into mine. She turned to Jasper and smirked, before turning back to me.

"Do you mean to frighten me, Mr. Masen, by coming in all this state to hear me play? You should know that my courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me."

She wants to play, does she? Well, I can certainly rise to the occasion.

"I know you take great pleasure in expressing opinions that are not your own."

Isabella laughed quietly, but kept playing.

"Col. Whitlock, your friend would teach you to not believe a word I say. That is cruel, is it not?"

Jasper looked up at me, puzzled by the exchange, "It is indeed, Edward."

"And impolitic too, for it forces me to retaliate and say something of his behavior which may shock you."

I smiled. "I am not afraid of you."

Jasper was grinning by this point; I was unsure what he found so damn amusing about this situation. "Pray tell me, I would love to know how he behaves among strangers."

She looked at me again before smirking and turning to Jasper.

"Prepare yourself for something quite dreadful."

She wouldn't tell him how I had slighted her, would she? I was beginning to panic, and it must have shown on my face, for Isabella's smirk turned into a full smile.

"When I first met him it was at an assembly," _Oh Lord, she was going to tell him. Alice will kill me for sure._ "You know he only danced four dances, though gentlemen were scarce and more than one lady sat idle without a partner."

I was unaware I was holding my breath, but I released it with a slow sigh of relief. She had not told him. Why, I was unsure, because she had every right to humiliate me the way I had her.

_Perhaps she loved me too_?

I needed to answer, but it seemed I could not think properly.

"I had not the advantage of knowing anyone outside of my own party. I feel unqualified to recommend myself to strangers."

It was a lame excuse but the only decent one I could think of at the moment.

Isabella smiled at Jasper, and continued to play. "Should we ask him why? Why a man with sense and education, whom has lived in the world, would feel himself unqualified to recommend himself to strangers."

Jasper looked at me and smiled. "I can answer that- because he will not trouble himself to try."

I was going to have a serious conversation with Jasper when we were next alone; this was getting out of hand.

"I have not that talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before." My excuses were getting worse by the second.

"I do not play this instrument as well as I would wish to, but I consider that to be my own fault since I would not take the trouble of practicing." she said softly, but her tone was not without impact.

Her low opinion of her talent still astounded me. Did she not see how much her music affected me? I tried to convey with my eyes what my words could not.

_I love you; your music reaches my soul._

I smiled, and her smirk faltered. "You are perfectly right; you have employed your time much better. No one with the privilege of hearing you would think anything wanting. I believe neither of us performs for strangers."

"What are you talking of? I must know. I must have my part of the conversation," the Old bat bellowed.

And the spell was broken. Isabella began to play once more and I moved back to the couches, hoping to disappear into one.

"What were you talking of?"

I groaned, realizing she was not going to let this go.

"We were speaking of music, and our various tastes."

She sat up straighter in her chair, and put on a false look of enthusiasm. "Ah, no one has a more true enjoyment of music than myself, nor a better taste. If I had ever learnt I would have been a true proficient. So would Kate, if her health had allowed. You must convey to Alice the importance of practicing, _constant_ practice.

I was alarmed; did she really believe these ridiculous notions?

I made a mental note to read all the Old Bats letters to Alice before she saw them. Although Alice was strong she was still a gentle spirit. I would not allow her recovery to be hindered by unsolicited and frankly poor advice.

It was not long after that the Newton party bid their farewells and returned to the Parsonage.

I went to bed that night, ready to embrace whatever dream my mind could conjure. Tomorrow, everything would begin anew and I couldn't wait to welcome it.


	15. Captivated

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

I awoke in a daze. I could not remember sleeping so well in a long time. It seemed that as soon as my head hit the pillow, I drifted into a content dreamless slumber. I sat up in bed, the sheets draped across my lap. While rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I pulled the cord to signal my valet that I was ready to begin my day. I looked at the clock and was shocked to find I had slept in a full hour past my norm. Arising quickly, the chill of the air hit my body harder than I had expected. It seemed the fire had burned to a low ember. I reached for my robe, knowing my valet would enter shortly.

I dressed quickly not wanting to waste anymore time. I needed to see Isabella. I had every intention of courting her, though I needed to be careful. It would not do to raise unwanted suspicion on the part of the Old Bat. She would do nothing but make Isabella's life hell, not to mention mine.

No, this would have to be done carefully.

I reached the breakfast room; Jasper was seated at the far end. It looked like he was finishing his coffee.

"Edward," he said, smiling. "I was waiting for you; it is not like you to sleep so late, especially here."

It was true; I was usually restless and slept poorly.

"I was exhausted and seemed to have gotten a very good night's rest. And you?"

"I slept fine. I seem to be able to sleep wherever the occasion calls for. The life of a soldier, I suppose."

We both snickered, life of a soldier indeed. He was a colonel, and with that came privilege. Not to mention he was the younger son of an earl.

"I plan on calling at the parsonage this morning, would you care to accompany me?"

The events of last night came to me and I was suddenly suspicious. What business would Jasper have at the parsonage?

"I suppose I could. But what would take you to the parsonage?"

Sensing my reluctance, Jasper sighed.

"I enjoyed the company a great deal last night. Miss Isabella was an engaging young woman, and I took great pleasure in our conversation. Mrs. Newton was kind as well."

_Pleasure?_

_Though my mind knew better than to think Jasper was interested in Isabella, I could not help but feel the jealousy and anger that bubbled to the surface. No one should take pleasure in anything with Isabella other than myself._

_Though visiting with Jasper would give me the perfect excuse to see her..._

"I would be happy to accompany you to the parsonage. You are right, it was very good company."

Jasper smiled. "Excellent, let us go now then."

The walk to the parsonage was filled with reminiscing about our adventures here as youths. As we had no interest in the boring activities of our parents, Jasper and I would take to exploring the grounds at Rosings. We had explored more of the Rosings woods and groves than uncle Aro ever had.

As we arrived at the parsonage I suddenly became nervous. What would I say to her? I had never courted a woman before. What if I made a fool of myself?

Lost in my fears, I failed to realize Jasper had rung the bell. Before I was ready we were escorted into the sitting room, where I immediately saw Isabella seated on the far side of the room, reading.

I took my seat with Jasper, and we talked with the parson and his wife. I found myself bored with the incessant fawning and ridiculous antics this man so frequently displayed. I was however, bound by my damned good manners to not tell the man he was an idiot, and to stop embarrassing himself.

_Damned manners._

"Mr. Masen, you have no idea how much honor you bestow upon my humble dwelling by gracing us with your presence. I was just telling my dear Jessica that you were most gracious in Hertfordshire."

Gracious indeed, this man was even more stupid than I'd realized.

"Indeed, I thank you for your hospitality."

Jasper sat up and moved to the other end of the room, to speak with Isabella.

Damn him, would he do nothing but thwart me at every turn?

I strained to hear what they were saying, which was impossible due to the endless droning from Mr. Newton.

I stared in their direction, willing her to look at me.

Finally she obliged, but alas, only for a moment.

I continued to watch her unabashedly; I wanted her to see me, the _real_ me.

Not the name, nor the money, or the estate.

_Just me_.

I was faintly able to make out what was being said while the parson – thankfully - drew breath.

"What do I do that offends him so?"

Jasper smiled.

"Edward is a complicated man; I highly doubt he is offended in any way."

Offended? Why would she think such a thing?

I stood and walked toward her, uncaring that I just had left the foolish parson mid-sentence. I did not care; he should have sensed by now that I was not at all interested in what he was saying.

As I approached, I tried to think of what I might ask her. Instead of something thoughtful or witty, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Your family is well, I trust?"

_Fool! Did you not just ask her that yesterday? She is going to think you are a bumbling idiot!_

Isabella looked slightly amused at my expense; there was a hint of mischief as she responded.

"Yes, Mr. Masen they are all in excellent health. I thank you."

I bowed and moved toward the window, petrified that if I opened my mouth I would say something else equally stupid. Why did this have to be so complicated and difficult?

Jasper and Isabella continued to talk, while I stared out the window like an emotionally stunted twelve year old boy. It was embarrassing, but I had no idea what to say to her. Being in the company of Jasper and that idiot parson was not making matters any easier.

If I could only get her alone…

I spent the remainder of the visit formulating my plan. I would need to get Isabella alone. In order to court her properly and not raise suspicion, I would need to be cautious. No doubt Caius would jump at any opportunity to inform the Old Bat of my activities if he thought he had anything to gain from it.

Finally, we said our goodbyes and headed back in the direction of the house. Jasper recounted his conversation with Isabella. He seemed highly amused by my behavior in Hertfordshire. Though, what he did not know was the reason. He would be astonished indeed if he knew just how much I really cared for Isabella. She seemed to be under some mistaken presumption that I disliked her. She would know the truth soon enough, and I was positive she would be pleased.

After a long, tedious day including several ostentatious meals, I was able to slip away to my chambers. I would bide my time and visit Isabella when the parson was not about. Hopefully, luck would be on my side.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

_I was walking through the moss covered trees; the river flowed gently along side the path. The warm sun's rays peeked through the canopy of leaves and branches. I could hear the spring larks as they sung. It was a magical place. Looking around, I knew where I was. This was my special place. Not even Jasper knew where this was; I used it as my own personal refuge here at Rosings._

_The breeze gently caressed my face as I slowly untied my cravat. I could be myself here. Free of the pretense and position. I discarded the cravat and loosened the buttons of my shirt. Seated in a ray of sunshine, I basked in its glow._

_Laughter rang out behind me. "May I join you, sir?"_

_I turned in the direction of the woman's voice. A voice I knew by heart._

_My beautiful wood nymph was smiling radiantly as she came and sat on the grass next to me._

_She reached out and fingered a flower, teasing the stem, and then asked, "I always seem to find my way to you. Why is that?"_

_I smiled._

"_I have been waiting for you my entire life, Isabella; fate will help you find your way."_

"_Fate? You think this has to do with some otherworldly influence?"_

"_All that I know is you change everything. Everything I feel is exponentially greater when you are near."Looking into her eyes I tried to convey how I felt._

"_For example, when I look into your eyes, I tremble with anticipation."_

_I reached for her hand._

"_My body knows your touch; craves it like a staving man craves food."_

_Her eyes had gone wide. I was unsure if I was going too far, but I could not help myself. I leaned in and captured her lips. They were still as soft and tasted as heavenly as I remembered._

"_Your lips spark every desire my body possesses. You set me aflame, consuming everything." I moved my lips down to her chin. "You are everything; I want to cherish you." I moved lower toward the beautiful swell of her breasts. "Worship you." I gently skimmed my lips along her breasts, eliciting a soft moan from her. "And make you mine."_

_I moved my hand to the back of her neck; she tilted her head back, giving me access to do as I pleased. It felt primal; I suddenly had the need to claim her. She was mine and no one else would ever have her. _

_I kissed and caressed my way from her breasts to her neck. _

"_Edward…"_

"_mmm…"_

"_Wake up…"_

_I looked up in alarm, and she simply smiled, then disappeared._

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

I awoke laying face down in a cold lonely bed. I groaned into my pillow, cursing these wonderful dreams. They were both heavenly and a punishment. I moved to turn and felt a raw chill as the cold morning air hit my body. I quickly realized that my body had reacted rather forcefully to my dream. I lifted the sheet and hissed as the chill hit my very hard erection. I fell back into the pillow and groaned. This was getting out of hand.

Not wanting an audience, I slipped into my robe and hurried to my dressing room. A bath would soothe the aching beast that was threatening to break free. It would not do for my sanity, or ability to speak, if I called on Isabella with an immense erection in my trousers.

At breakfast, Lady Irena announced she would be busy discussing matters with her parson and other tenants in need of assistance. Jasper was occupied with answering letters from the Major general. Luck was defiantly on my side. This would be the perfect opportunity to visit Isabella. Though the parson's wife would be there, I felt she would be discreet. I hurried toward the parsonage giddy with anticipation.

I rang the bell and steeled myself, I could do this.

The maid answered and led me into the sitting room to await the ladies.

As we entered, I found only Isabella seated by the fire, writing a letter.

Isabella in the flesh made me realize what a poor substitute my dreams had been.

She looked up at me with surprise.

"Mr. Masen, I did not expect you this morning." I was mesmerized by her lips." Mr. and Mrs. Newton are away this morning and you find me all alone this morning, sir."

_Alone?_ I said a silent thank you to whoever was responsible for this fortunate circumstance.

"I do not mean to disturb you; I understood the ladies to be within, and would not have interrupted your solitude had I known."

_Really, Masen? You could not be more transparent if you just came out and did an embarrassing jig._

"You are not disturbing me, I am writing a letter to my sister, Rosalie. You are welcome to sit, sir."

I took my seat and looked around the room. I was here alone, with Isabella, and had no idea what to say to her.

I looked around the room, remembering it had been different when it belonged to the last parson.

Ah, a safe topic.

"This seems to be a very comfortable home for Mr. and Mrs. Newton. I understand Lady Irena did a great deal to the house when Mr. Newton moved in."

"Yes, I believe she did. I do not think she could have bestowed her kindness on a more grateful subject."There was a distant twinkle in her eye that I recognized now when she was being coy.

I loved it.

"It seemed very sudden, the way you all quit Netherfield last November. It must have been quite a shock to find that Miss McCarty had followed not one day after."

Her subject change caught me off guard, and I was unable to respond.

"I trust you left them well in London?"

I shifted uncomfortably; this was a very dangerous line of questioning. I could see in the hard manner of her voice she was not happy. I needed to end this before she pried too deeply.

"Perfectly so, I thank you." I replied in a clipped tone.

After a moment of silence, she continued.

"I have heard that Mr. McCarty has no intention of ever returning to Netherfield."

This was no doubt a rumor; I knew for a fact Emmett intended on seeing the lease through.

"I have not heard this, though it is true he may spend little time there. His obligations keep him in town most of the year." It was vague, but I had no intention on raising hopes that were not mine to rise.

"Well if he means to spend little time there it would be better for the neighborhood if he gave up the house completely."

She was no doubt frustrated and her direct line of questioning left me uneasy.

"Wise counsel; I would not be surprised if he did if an eligible offer was made."

Isabella leveled her gaze, as if she was trying to see what I was determined not to give away.

After more silence ensued, she could see I would not breach anymore on the subject.

Desperate to return the conversation to a more neutral topic, I brought up the parson once again."

"How very fortunate Mr. Newton is in his choice of wife."

_And how very fortunate for me, that you had the will and wits to refuse him._

"Yes, I daresay he is. He had the great fortune to meet with one of the few sensible women in the country that would have accepted him."

Her response stunned me; this woman not only spoke her mind, but did so eloquently. She was the perfect accomplished lady.

"And in a prudential light it is a good match for her as well."

"Yes, to be settled in such an easy distance from her family." I agreed.

"An easy distance you say? It is nearly fifty miles!" she exclaimed.

"Indeed, fifty miles of good road. Yes I would call that an easy distance. I suppose this is proof of your attachment to Hertfordshire; anything beyond Longbourn would be considered too far."

I was provoking her, and I could tell her temper was rising.

"Circumstances, sir, weigh heavily on how near one is settled to one's family. I do believe it is possible to be settled too near one's family."

I leaned closer to her.

"Exactly. You would not always want to live near Longbourn."

Isabella's lips parted, she was stunned.

Before she could reply, Mrs. Newton had returned.

After greeting her, I made my excuses and returned to Rosings.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

I felt yesterday had gone well. I was determined to get more time with Isabella. Though, I was greatly disappointed when I found she was gone walking the next morning. I walked the groves in search of her, but after what seemed like hours, I felt she had already returned to the parsonage. I took the familiar trail to my favorite place, disappointed and agitated.

A twig snapped, and I looked up to see Isabella standing in the stream.

Was this another dream?

She had removed her stockings and shoes, and held her dress up to her knees. Her hair was unpinned and flowed gently down her back. I knew the gentlemanly thing to do would have been to look away, but no earthly force could have made me.

Isabella looked up to meet my gaze; the apparent surprise of meeting me alone out here was evident in her eyes. She exited the stream and to my disappointment she dropped her skirt. The memory of her legs would forever be etched in my mind.

"Mr. Masen, I did not expect to see you here, or _anyone_, for that matter."

_I am sure you did not_.

"I was out walking. If you remember, Miss Isabella, I used to play in these woods as a boy and know them extremely well."

"Well then I should inform you sir, this has become one of my favorite places for solitude and reflection."

She had found my favorite place as well. This was, no doubt, fate.

"Then I shall let you use my place for the remainder of your visit; I am glad you find it as peaceful as I have in the past."

She quirked her eyebrow.

"_Your place?"_

"Yes, not even Jasper has come here with me. I must say I am astounded that you were able to find it. I have always come here when I needed to get away."

"Ah, I see."

"I could show you more, if you like."

She looked around, before returning her gaze to me. It was puzzled, as if she couldn't believe I would want to spend my time with her.

I had had enough; it was time I showed her just how much I wanted her.

I reached for her hand. "Come, there is more to this grove I would love to share with you."

As our hands connected I looked from her eyes to her lips; they were parted and I could hear her breathing quicken. Her cheeks flushed as I stepped closer to her. I looked down at her heaving chest, the rise and fall of her breasts was mesmerizing.

I led her toward the stream, just beyond was the grassy meadow from my dream. I had never shared it with anyone, and now I was taking Isabella there.

"I will carry you across; there is no need for you to get wet."

She pulled her hand from mine sharply, and I mourned the loss.

"I am perfectly capable of walking, sir. Just lead the way and I will follow."

This was not an opportunity I was willing to waste.

"And what kind of gentleman would that make me if I were to allow you to cross unassisted? My mother would never forgive me."

She crossed her arms and steeled herself, no doubt to protest more. Instead, I scooped her into my arms and began making my way into the stream.

"Stop! What are you doing? This is improper, sir." Though her protests were voiced, her body told me another story as she melted into my arms. As we neared the bank on the other side, I was reluctant to release her. I had her in my arms, and this was no dream.

It was so much better.

My hands were cupped around her arms and legs, my right hand dangerously close to her breast. Her protests had died, it seemed she was either enjoying the ride, or had accepted that I was going to do what I wanted anyway.

I released her and awaited another verbal assault, instead she turned and said.

"I trust this place is worth all the trouble you are putting yourself through?"

I nearly laughed.

"Yes, Miss Isabella, only one other ranks above it."

Her expression became confused but she did not ask me to elaborate, and for that I was grateful. No good would come from discussing my estate.

Taking her hand once more, I led her toward the opening in the brush. Beyond was the grassy meadow from my dream. It was the same today as it had been every other time I visited, which was one of its appeals for me. Constancy, even when my mother died, and soon after, my father, I could come here knowing it would be the same as it had been when they were alive.

Only this time I was not alone.

Isabella gasped as she took in her surroundings. The lush green grass was wild and thick and spring daisies grew where they pleased.

"It's beautiful," she replied almost reverently. "I can't imagine another ranking above it."

Ah, so she _had_ been listening.

"Yes, well, perhaps someday soon I will be able to show you. It is on my estate, at Pemberley."

Her eyes became wide; it was a bold declaration, I had to admit.

"It seems I require a place for solitude wherever I go. Do you require the same, Isabella?"

The way her name rolled of my lips sounded better than any thought, dream, or situation I had ever conjured. I could not wait until I was able to say it to her whenever I pleased.

"I do, Mr. Masen. Solitude is a way to gather ones thoughts and sift through them. I, for one love the beauty of nature. It puts me at ease even when I am troubled."

I paused before answering. With her simple words, she had unleashed a multitude of emotions.

Her beauty was such that it set her apart from anything in this meadow, and nothing could compare to her in my eyes. I wondered what could trouble her, and hoped my love could chase away those troubles. Did she know the depth of my feelings? Did she comprehend that I would do anything just to see her smile?

I was desperate to know if she loved me too.

I stepped forward slowly; reaching my hands to grip her arms, and drew her to me. Our eyes never left one another. The air around us was thick; it was as if fate was seeing through whatever plan it had for us.

I leaned my head toward her ear, whispering, "Let _me_ calm your troubles, Isabella. If you were mine, you would want for nothing."

I needed to taste her sweet lips again; it had been too long.

I slowly moved my lips across her soft cheek until I reached her mouth. Ever so slowly my lips enveloped hers.

We moved together and I smiled slightly when she responded to me. I moved my hands down her arms grazing her breasts with my thumbs.

It was faint, but I swear I heard her moan.

I felt bold, the heady feeling was akin to, too much wine. Yet my senses were anything but dulled. As my hand worked its way back up, I moved my lips from hers down to her chin.

She tilted her head back. Her breathing was ragged.

I kissed ever so slowly down her neck, until I reached where I so badly wanted to taste.

I withdrew my lips, much to my sadness.

I looked at Isabella's face to gauge her reaction. Her lips were swollen from my ministrations. I looked for permission to continue, and her eyes told me she was enjoying this as well.

My gaze fell toward her bosom, and I was stunned. She had not worn her stays. Her nipples were hard and peeking out against the fabric.

I groaned. I was quickly losing control.

I had to rein myself in before I put Isabella in a situation she did not want.

I kissed the flesh just above her swollen breasts, which were heaving out of the neckline of her dress.

Making my way back to her lips, I kissed them with all the possession I felt for her.

"The beauty of this meadow is nothing. I have all the beauty I need before me."

It was time, she knew my intentions. I would ask her properly soon. But she could be in no doubt of what I wanted.

Isabella said nothing as I gathered her up again and walked back to the other side of the stream. I gave her the space she required. It was a lot to take in. I had to admit the intensity of what I felt often overwhelmed me.

She had sat down on the log away from me and donned her stockings once more.

"Well, sir, I should really be heading back to the house. Jessica will be worried. Thank you for the use of your place. I would love to continue using it when I need to get away and be _alone_."

Was she hinting that she wanted to meet me here? I believed she was.

"You're very welcome. Allow me to escort you home."

Very little was said and I was sad to find we reached the parsonage long before I was ready to relinquish her.

I returned to Rosings with what was no doubt the silly smile of a man in love.

I was greeted at the door by Caius.

"Out there up to no good are you?" he asked in a sinister voice.

Not in the mood to deal with him, I simply replied, "I believe I am a bit old to be 'up to no good,' as you put it."

He let me pass, but not without a menacing glare that made me shiver.

Once I was alone in my chambers, I allowed my mind to think back to our meeting. I could not wipe the smile from my face.

It had definitely been one of the best days of my life.

At first, she had seemed a bit surprised to see that I had found her. I supposed she was only being modest. I felt our relationship was deepening; I was learning so many fascinating things about her that I had not seen in Hertfordshire. Perhaps she felt more stifled there and had not allowed herself to be truly open with me.

The more I knew, the deeper I fell.

Everything was progressing better than I could have hoped. I had a very good feeling it would not be long until I would ask her. I wondered how The Old bat would react to the news.

It was with these thoughts I drifted to sleep. Easter was tomorrow and I had a feeling it would be a very exciting day.


	16. Easter Part I

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

**Easter Sunday, 1813**

Spring had brought the arrival of another Easter at Rosings. Life, it seemed had become so pitifully predictable. I thought back to the many Easters I had spent here at Rosings; the many lonely hours spent avoiding everyone at all costs; the sermons on the rebirth of faith, yet my faith had died with my parents. I was still religious, yet I could not bring myself to have faith in others. My faith in life had died with them.

Easter at Rosings was a boring affair. It consisted of a formal brunch, followed by a grand entrance at church, a dull sermon, ending with an overly lavish dinner that would make even a king nauseous.

Yet strangely, I felt eager this morning. The possibilities were endless.

I would see Isabella.

I wondered how she would respond to me. It was obvious we could not be as affectionate as we would like.

Would she be offended when I was unable to be open in front of my family? I felt a moment of unease.

It was too early, and I had not yet secured her hand. It would not do either of us any favors if I flaunted it in front of the Old Bat.

_Isabella will understand I have no other options right now_.

Dressing in my finest trousers, I made my way downstairs. The Old Bat required breeches and stockings, but I refused point blank to wear such an article. Not only were they uncomfortable, I never understood what kind of man would have started such a horrible fashion in the first place.

I spied Jasper first, dressed in his full military uniform. Between the two of us, we would manage to distract Lady Irena from noticing our lapse in 'proper attire,' as she would call it.

"Good morning, Jasper! I trust you slept well."

"I did, thank you. And you?" He asked warily.

It seemed I sounded a bit too excited, as today was a day I usually abhorred."

"I did as well; I suppose a good night's rest helps ones disposition."

"I suppose," was all he offered.

"Are we to expect the same routine? Or do you think the Old Bat will shake things up this year?"

Jasper looked at me like I had gone completely insane.

"Edward, are you sure you are feeling well? I know you have had a tough go as of late, but your changes in mood are starting to concern me."

"I am feeling perfectly fine. I feel like life is finally come together for me. I am reconciling so many things I have left for far too long."

Jasper smiled, "I am happy for you then. Alice will be pleased."

Smirking, I thought of my sister's expression when I told her I was engaged. "Yes she will; I plan on writing her this morning before breakfast."

I paused before asking, "Is there anything you wish me to convey to her?"

Sighing he nodded, "Just my sincere affection, but she already knows this."

I grabbed his shoulder. "Everything will come together for you; just give it time, Jasper."

"I know, I just can't help but be afraid she will tire of waiting for me, and move on."

"Jasper, Alice would never move on. She loves you, and that devotion will never waiver."

He laughed, "Look at you. You are the last person on this earth I expected to give me advice on matters of the heart."

I joined him in laughing. "Yes, well, I _did_ tell you I was reconciling things."

"Care to share what sparked this sudden need to change?"

I shook my head no; I could not yet discuss my intentions with Isabella. Not until she was mine.

Jasper shrugged. "It was worth a shot."

I smiled. "I am off to write Alice. I will see you at brunch."

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

_Dearest Alice, _

_Life, it seems, has not been quite fair to us. Yet I am here feeling more hopeful for the future than I ever thought possible. I can hardly contain myself. Rosings has been interesting this visit. Lady Irena is ever the same, yet I find myself able to tolerate her more than usual. Cousin Kate has informed me that she has found love. I am happy she has found someone with whom she could spend her life with. I feel her health is better than was previously reported. _

_However, she will be unable to marry until I do so. Lady Irena will never give up on the notion that we are destined until I am married. I have done so much harm by dragging this out. It has caused Kate to delay her happiness. I have decided that I will marry soon. I have no doubt I will be happy, our parents set an example of love that I have yet to see equaled. If mine is half as happy as theirs, I will be very fortunate indeed._

_I expect that Jasper and I will return in a week's time. He sends his love. _

_Until then, my dearest sister, take care and know we will be with you soon._

_Your loving brother,_

_Edward Masen_

Although I could not give Alice all of the particulars surrounding the way I felt, I could not contain my excitement. I decided to post the letter express. I wanted her to share in my happiness as soon as possible.

The next letter I wrote would be to tell her I was engaged.

Isabella would be a wonderful influence on Alice. Though Alice was not as outgoing as she once had been, a good influence from another woman, like Isabella, could help her to regain that confidence.

Yes, Isabella was the missing piece in our lives.

I made my way toward the breakfast room, the excitement still palatable around me. Everyone was seated, awaiting my arrival.

"Good morning, Lady Irena, I apologize for my lateness. I was posting a letter to Alice."

My apology and manner immediately softened her demeanor.

"I see, very well."

The meal was quite, more so than others. I tried to calm myself, but the excitement of seeing Isabella in only a few short hours had me almost giddy.

"Edward, you will escort your cousin to church."

I looked up and nodded to the Old Bat. I had expected this; I escorted Kate to Easter services every year. Yet, the consequences could be devastating. Isabella would not understand, as I had not yet informed her of the particular nature of my relationship with Kate.

I nodded, and returned my attention to my food. It was too late to send word to her. Anything received at the parsonage would raise suspicion.

I would simply need to hope for the best.

With brunch completed, the four of us made our way to the carriage, and we were off to church.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

Disembarking from the carriage, I offered my arm to Kate and helped her down. There was a line of people waiting to welcome us to church. I was aghast with the ridiculous vanity that Lady Irena seemed to possess. When uncle Aro was alive she had shown some of these tendencies, but Uncle had always kept her in check. Now it seemed her vanity had run amok.

Mr. Newton was at the first of the line. He was falling all over himself with praise and other nonsense, about the kindness and superiority of his esteemed patroness.

I moved Kate through the gauntlet of people into the church. After seating her in the family pew, I allowed my eyes to wander for Isabella, but she was nowhere to be found.

The parishioners were filing into the church; I was beginning to worry that she was not coming.

"Edward, are you well?"

Kate had obviously noticed my less than stealthy actions.

"Perfectly so cousin, I was looking for Jasper." It was partially the truth.

"Oh there he is, he just entered with Miss Isabella."

My head spun back toward the entrance just in time to see Jasper escorting Bella toward a pew. They talked for a few moments before he took his seat next to her.

To say I was angry would be a falsehood; to say I was not jealous would be grossly understating the matter.

Jasper had the freedom to sit wherever he pleased, while it was my duty to escort my cousin.

I turned my attention toward Isabella.

She seemed content; I hoped she was at ease with Jasper. Although I knew my jealousy was unfounded and ridiculous, I could not but help feel it. I was grateful he was taking the time to befriend her. I made a mental note to ask him what he thought of her later.

Turning toward Kate, I asked. "Would you like to say hello to Miss Isabella?"

Looking at me and then back toward her mother, she shook her head.

"I don't think that is wise, Edward. This is, after all, a very public setting. But please convey to her my fondest greetings. She is a witty young woman that I am afraid got on my mother's bad side." She leaned in and whispered, "I like her all the better for standing up for herself. I honestly think she is one of the bravest people I have ever met."

"I understand, and don't worry; I will pay your respects."

I walked toward where Jasper and Bella were seated.

"Jasper, Miss Isabella." I greeted both of them.

"Miss Isabella, my cousin Kate wanted me to convey to you her warmest greeting."

Isabella's face looked astonished.

"I thank you sir for condescending to deliver her message. Please tell her thank you, and I wish her well."

_Condescending? She must be trying to distract Jasper from reading too much into my continued interest in her. Clever girl. _

I nodded, as it seemed that was all she would say at present. No doubt she would be more amiable if Jasper was not seated to her right.

I returned to my seat next to Kate, where I conveyed Isabella's message. Kate smiled and turned toward the pulpit.

I continued to observe them until Mr. Newton began his sermon. I sighed and opened my book of prayer.

Newton began the sermon the same as any other pastor.

Though, as the sermon progressed I became increasingly alarmed as to its content; a few statements stood out above the others.

"We must take this Easter as a renewal of not only our faith, but a renewal in our commitment to the service and help of our respective patrons."

"Those who so diligently have our best interests at heart. We must pledge ourselves to the betterment of circumstances by working harder and willingly donating of our time to the betterment of our community."

"Those in the illustrious aristocracy see to it that we have homes, land to till, and food in times of need. We must be willing to assist them in anyway they call upon us to do so."

This entire sermon had been not only overseen but no doubt dictated, by Lady Irena. I was sickened, appalled and embarrassed. I decided to ignore the remainder of the sermon, before I walked out all together.

Turning my attention back to Isabella, I noticed she was listening, though her expression spoke volumes. She was as appalled as I was.

Jasper seemed to hide his feelings better, yet I could tell he felt the same way. He turned and looked in my direction. We both shook our heads in disgust, silently telling each other we were not happy with this. Kate shifted uncomfortably in her seat. How sad that she should have a mother who not only would not see the treasure of a daughter she had, but one who saw fit to drive everyone away by reminding everyone of her own superiority in the way of rank.

The sermon ended, with an audible sigh of relief from the audience. Prayers were given and we were finally released. I had a feeling this would be my last visit to Rosings for quite some time.

Thank heavens.

Fighting my need to go to Isabella, I watched her exit the church with Jasper. I longed to be the one escorting her. To have her arm draped around mine.

_Soon, very soon._

Turning my attention to Kate, I asked, "Are you ready cousin? The carriage awaits."

She stood with effort, "Yes, Edward, after that abominable sermon, I believe I will need some time to compose myself before spending any significant amount of time in mother's company."

I offered her my arm, which she took; I was always amazed at how much strength Kate possessed.

"Garrett is a very lucky man, Kate. I know you two will be happy."

Hope shone in her eyes. "You really think so?" she asked with excitement.

I took her hand and squeezed it. "I am certain, Kate."

We walked out of the church together, the last hour already forgotten. The rain had begun, though a slight drizzle, the thick black clouds promised more rain to come. I helped Kate into the carriage, followed by Lady Irena. Jasper was still nowhere to be found.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

**Colonel J. Whitlock**

I stood in front of the church, delaying the inevitable. Not being an overly religious man, I loathed the pretentiousness of Easter at Rosings. I observed it as a day of worship, yet I felt it was more of a reminder to the parishioners of the separation of classes.

Lost in thought, I was caught off guard when my name was called.

"Colonel Whitlock?"

I turned toward the voice. Miss Isabella was walking toward me.

"Are you well sir? Shall I summon assistance?"

I had not realized I had been pacing, rather relentlessly judging from the trampled grass at my feet. I stopped at once.

"No Miss, I am well. Just restless." I paused to think before continuing. "Rosings always seems to have my friend and me on edge."

She let out a bitter laugh.

"So Mr. Masen's behavior seems to change depending on the location?" She teased.

"I can not speak for how he behaved in Hertfordshire, but Mr. Masen is a very loyal friend. He takes care of those in need, never thinking of himself."

"Really? I am astonished. It seemed to me he would not take the trouble."

I stayed silent. It seemed that Edward had given Miss Isabella a very bad impression of himself. I was distressed for him, for it did not seem that anything I could say would make any difference.

It was a shame really; I felt she and Alice could be very good friends. Alice was in need of a female companion who possessed not only a sweetness of disposition, but a wittiness about her that allowed her confidence to speak her mind.

"Come, let me escort you to church, we can speak more later."

She agreed and took my arm. I lead her into the church and we sat at the guest pew away from Lady Irena's family pew.

I noticed Edward and Kate were talking while Lady Irena smiled. It was sad, the delusions she harbored; marriage between them would make no one happy. I thought back to Alice and the last time I saw her with her bright happy face. Though she was young, she had seen and experienced so much sorrow yet was able to push away the pain and remain happy.

Edward approached which was unexpected. Though, it seemed nothing about this trip this year had been expected.

He conveyed to Miss Isabella Kate's greetings, which seemed to astonish her.

Though it was her response that astonished me.

"I thank you, sir, for condescending to deliver her message. Please tell her thank you and I wish her well."

Condescending?

It seemed these two disliked each other more than I had realized. I was surprised though that Edward had not taken his usual route of simply ignoring her. It was obvious he was unable to offend her to the point she stayed away, it only seemed to spur her on. Miss Isabella had shown time and time again she did not back down from a fight.

_She would make a great ally in battle_, I mused.

The sermon began, and I prepared myself for abject tedium.

Tedium this sermon was not. I was horrified by what I was hearing. And had it been any other church, I would have gotten up and walked out in protest. It was disgusting that lady Irena was using her position as patroness to influence this young rector. Not only was the theme of this sermon about the importance of social class and serving your betters, but it put on harsh display the uselessness of the aristocracy.

No wonder so many nobles in France had lost their heads. If one treated hard working people like sheep to be lead around by the collar, they would eventually revolt.

"I take it from your reaction you do not agree with this sermon, Colonel?" whispered Miss Isabella.

"Certainly not. I am as horrified as you are."

Miss Isabella nodded and returned her attention to the speaker. I looked toward Edward, who was looking at me; I nodded in agreement that this crossed too many boundaries. We would need to step in, and soon.

When the sermon was completed, Miss Isabella stood to quickly leave the church.

"I apologies for being hasty, sir, but I must leave before I say something I regret."

I smiled understanding her point of view, "Of course, allow me to escort you."

We exited quickly and started along the road to Huntsford.

"Colonel, if I may be so bold, what do you think they hoped to gain from such a sermon?"

I was momentarily confused.

"They?"

"Yes, Lady Irena, her daughter and Mr. Masen."

She had grouped Edward and Kate in this?

"Miss Isabella, I believe I must be equally frank. Edward had nothing to do with this; in fact he seemed just as appalled as you and I."

"Really? As I have known him, his behavior is consistent with what was said."

This was not good. What had Edward done to make this woman despise him so? I needed to do something on his behalf.

"Edward is a very loyal friend and companion. He thinks only of others, rarely of himself. Why, recently, he told me he came to the rescue of a friend in a most terrible situation."

She tensed and looked up at me.

"What kind of terrible situation?" she asked in earnest.

"He recently rescued a friend from a most imprudent marriage. It seemed there were strong objections to the family. So you see he is not selfish, he is constantly thinking of others."

Her eyes looked strangely hard, but there was a fire to them now. "I see." She paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "And who was the man?"

I saw no harm in revealing what I knew if it helped her have a better opinion of my friend.

"Mr. McCarty," I responded.

Miss Isabella stopped walking and took in a shuddered breath.

"Sir, I am no longer feeling well enough to walk. I will sit for a moment or two. You have been so kind to escort me; I release you to return to your family."

I was concerned she seemed very much out of sorts. I could feel the intense emotion rolling off of her.

"Are you sure? It is no trouble for me to wait."

"No, I thank you, it is only a headache, and I will be quite well. I am just in need of some solitude. I will make my way toward the parsonage. If the rain becomes too much, I can always seek shelter."

I was about to protest.

"Please, sir."

I nodded, "Very well, I will inquire later on how you fair."

We said our goodbyes, and I made my way back toward the church.

When I reached my destination, I saw Edward pacing relentlessly to the side of the building. I had not thought he would have remained behind, but something about his domineer worried me.

He was like a caged animal.

I approached cautiously. "Edward?"

He immediately stopped and turned toward me.

"Jasper, where have you been? Lady Irena left me behind to wait for you."

His eyes seemed to have a wild desperate fire to them.

"I was escorting Miss Isabella home; she was quite done for after that ridiculous sermon."

This seemed to alarm him more.

"Really? Is she well?" Edward voice had a desperate edge. I wonder if he was worried about how the sermon had affected her.

"I believe so; she said she was suffering a headache. The sermon it seemed was not to her liking" I said with mock civility.

Edward let out a dark laugh, "Yes, as were we all. I believe cousin it is time we step in. But that is a discussion for another time. I should call on the parsonage to inquire if she is feeling better."

"I would give it so time, she asked me to leave her not half way to the parsonage. She seemed to require solitude."

"You left her alone? To walk in this weather?" he snapped.

"Edward, calm yourself! I will not have you impugn my honor. She asked me to leave her, and I obliged her."

There was something in his desperate attitude that made me uneasy.

"I am sorry, Jasper, that was not my intention. I will go after her; I cannot rest easy until I know she is safe."

His mind was made up, and knowing him like I did, there was nothing I could say that would deter him. Miss Isabella's words came back to me. I did not think Edwards's appearance would be very welcome to her right now. She seemed for some reason to dislike him.

"Edward, I don't believe that is the best course of action."

"I thank you for your concern, friend, but this is something I need to do now. I have put it off for far too long."

His words confused me, I watch him walk away, confidence exuding from every purposeful step.

The dark clouds finally opened and a heavy rain began to fall. Edward soon disappeared into the storm.

I hoped, whatever he thought to accomplish with his sense of duty, he would be successful.


	17. Easter Part II

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

I trudged forward with purpose, unhindered by the rain, which was falling now in heavy sheets. The mud from the trail was caked on my boots, my clothing thoroughly soaked and clinging to my body. But that meant nothing- any inconvenience could be overlooked; the only thing that mattered was _her_.

How could Jasper allow her to walk home unaccompanied?

What was he thinking?

_She could be hurt!_

It was this thought that spurred me on; I was practically running. I could not lose her- I seemed to lose everyone I loved.

The trail from the church to the parsonage crossed a bridge, and then led past a mausoleum. It had decent overhangs which would provide adequate shelter from the rain. I wondered if she would have stopped to seek shelter. But when I thought back to our first meeting, that first vision of Isabella, arms stretched out, dancing in the rain… _I think not_. Yet this rain was coming down much harder.

I decided to check. If anything, I could move on to the next possibility, with confidence that I'd investigated every avenue, until I found her.

I approached the mausoleum, which held my uncle Aro and previous generations of his family. The structure was round in shape, with a dome ceiling. Pillars lined the outer ring, and beautifully carved statues graced the inner porticos. I had never been one for the use of Greek architecture, yet this was beautifully done.

Stepping onto the marble landing, I started walking in a clockwise direction. I stopped suddenly, hearing a barley distinguishable sound.

And then I heard it again- only this time it was much more distinct.

It was a woman weeping.

I was sure the woman was Isabella, yet I remained rooted in place. What would I say to her? Would she welcome my presence right now? Obviously she was cold, hurt or scared.

Why was I over thinking this? Of course she would welcome my presence; I could comfort her.

With my mind firmly set, I approached.

Her back was facing me; she was hunched slightly, with one hand gripping a column for support and the other to her face.

The sound she made broke my heart.

The weeping came in gut wrenching sobs, the cold air mingling with her breath producing a wispy translucent fog.

Clearing my mind of the shock at seeing Isabella in such a state, I reacted, pulling her into my arms.

I needed to comfort her, to take her tears away.

Yet she pulled away. Not wanting to cause her any discomfort, I released her, but not before I pulled her face toward mine and gently placed a kiss on her forehead. I loved how soft her skin felt; the rain, it seemed, made her scent that much stronger. I inhaled that luscious scent of lavender that was distinctly Isabella's, taking it all in, before I gently released her.

"Let me take away your tears, beloved," I said as I stared into her beautiful eyes.

I heard her gasp. It was then I noticed what the rain had done to her dress. Unlike the dress from last fall, this one was a pale yellow- which due to the rain was noticeably translucent. I was transfixed as I watched the stray droplets of water fall from her hair onto her bosom.

I almost groaned.

"Isabella, I seem to have little control over myself when I am with you. Though lord knows, I have tried. The struggles and self deprivation I have gone through has been for naught. No matter my objections to your family, nor your place in society, I cannot help myself. It seems you are necessary for my happiness."

I needed her to understand what I was telling her, I pulled her roughly to me and kissed her on the lips.

She pulled back sharply with a shocked look upon her face.

"Isabella, I will care for you, protect you, all the days of your life. You will want for nothing. Since our first encounter, I have felt bound by honor to reconcile my feelings for you. I feel for you a passionate love I never thought possible."

"Sir, I don't…"

"I love you," I blurted out. "Most ardently." I paused only briefly before continuing. "And I beg you most fervently, to end my agony and consent to be my wife."

My gaze never wavered from hers; I was confused as I watched her expression become shocked and angry.

She stepped back and drew a deep breath before speaking. "Sir, I am sorry for the struggles you were forced to overcome, and for causing you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done."

I was confused, to say the least; was she accepting me or rejecting me?

"Is this all the answer I can expect?"

"It is sir."

"Are you rejecting me?"

"I am sure the _feelings_, which as you said hindered your regard, will help you in overcoming it."

Anger overruled my better judgment; I was bitterly disappointed.

"I might wonder why, with such little civility, I am thus rejected."

Her eyes blazed with that anger I had found so endearing.

"And _I_ might inquire _why,_ with such an evident design to insult me, you choose to tell me you like me- against your better judgment."

_What? Had I not told her how much I loved her?_

"No…I…believe me…"

"If I was uncivil, then that would have been some excuse, but I have other reasons. You know I have."

_Reasons?_

"I will not pretend to understand the pull I feel when I am around you. Yet despite that, how could you expect to feel that strongly, when you yourself cannot even reconcile your mind to it?"

I opened my mouth to protest but she kept going.

"I will confess, I was surprised by your proposal. I expected an offer of a very different nature. I expected by your continued behavior that you wanted nothing more from me than to be your distraction, or worse, your mistress."

_Oh my Lord_, she thinks I want her as a mistress? I could not have her thinking such things.

"I am a gentleman, Madam; I would never do you the dishonor.

"Yes, _dishonor_, while we are on that subject. Honor bound? I could have demanded your honor the first day we met. However, I have always sworn I would only marry for love. Why would I marry a man who can barely justify his reasons for wanting me in the first place? If that was not reason enough to refuse you, I can scarcely think of one better."

She paused and smiled before continuing.

"Oh, yes- I believe I can. Do you think anything could possibly tempt me to accept the hand of the man who has ruined, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved sister?"

My mouth stood agape; how did she know that?

"You separate a young couple in love exposing your friend to the censure of the world for caprice, and my sister to the derision of disappointed hopes; involving them both in misery of the most acute kind."

Isabella paused, and I hoped she was finished. I felt like I had been kicked by my horse.

"Do you deny it?" She looked at me, waiting with what seemed like hope in her eyes that I would deny it, and growing more agitated by my silence.

But I was rendered speechless by her reproof.

Shaking her head, she said, "I see you cannot."

Defeated, I answered honestly. "I do not deny it."

As I looked into her eyes, tears began to brim.

"How could you do it?" Her voice sounded anguished.

_What had I done_?

"Because I believed your sister was indifferent to him! I watched them both most carefully and was persuaded that Emmett's feelings were much stronger than hers."

"Indifferent?" she seemed surprised. "My sister hardly shows her true feelings to me."

Wanting to clear the air, I leveled all the issues raised with respect to a marriage with her sister.

"It was also widely known that an advantageous marriage was highly sought after."

The tears were gone and the fire was back.

"Did my sister ever give that impression?"

I hoped that by confessing the truth we might be able to salvage our courtship. Perhaps she would be willing to forgive me.

"No… no! Isabella, you and Miss Rosalie have never given that impression. However, the complete want of propriety so often shown by your three younger sisters, your mother, and your father have left much to be desired."

Her jaw was firmly set, yet she remained quiet.

"It was not until after Mr. McCarty learned of your sister's previous attachment that he felt it would be unwise to continue trying to win the heart of a woman pining away for another."

"What other attachment?" she answered in complete confusion.

_Did she not know of this?_

"We were informed your sister had been previously engaged to a Mr. Royce King, and on grounds unknown, he broke the engagement and fled."

"So you led him to believe she was indifferent based on this information?" She answered in an exasperated voice.

"Yes, I did it for his own good."

She laughed, the sound mirthless and desolate.

"It amazes me how that bastard still seems to continually haunt our lives."

She stopped and drew a ragged breath. One might think she was tired. But this was pure anger.

"If you must know Royce King is nothing but a common rake, who tried to force himself upon my sister. When she refused, he proceeded to beat her until she was unrecognizable and left her for dead. He returned to the house and informed my father he was breaking the engagement, due to our lack of fortune. You see, Mr. King was a wealthy man, perhaps not as much as yourself. But all he wanted was a distraction, and it happened to get out of hand."

Tears were now falling freely upon her cheeks.

"We found Rosalie that night, fearing the worst. When we happened upon her, she was cold and pale as death."

She paused to wipe the tears on her face with the back of her hand.

"The _good_ Mr. Royce fled because he feared the law. Unfortunately for us, we were not able to pursue him through the courts without damaging Rosalie's reputation. While her virtue remains intact, the association would haunt her for the rest of her life.

"So you see, Sir, my sister is merely cautious of men whom may in the beginning have good intentions, but in the end turn out to be cads."

I was speechless, so much of this story mirrored my own struggles with Alice, and I suddenly felt the urge to be sick. I need time to process this. I had no idea the struggle Miss Rosalie had endured. I felt heartily ashamed for my misguided perceptions.

"Mr. Masen, I had been warned about your selfish and prideful character, yet I was willing to remain impartial and make my own judgments. However, I found a man who prides himself on separating young couples in love simply because their connection does not suit you."

I winced at her accusation.

"Did your sister and Mr. Wickham really deserve your wrath? To be separated so cruelly? Or is it because you simply cannot tolerate the happiness of others?"

"Mr. Wickham?" I ground out with all the control I possessed.

"Yes, how can you defend yourself on that subject? He told me of the misfortunes he suffered at your hands."

"His misfortunes? I laughed bitterly. "Yes his misfortunes have been very great indeed."

I stepped forward; the fire in my eyes no doubt frightening her, as she took a step back.

"You seem to take an eager interest in that gentleman's concerns. I should warn you, he is not a man to be trusted. He is a libertine of the worst degree, yet I see you have chosen to take the word of a cad over mine. I have only ever tried to do what I felt was right."

She did not back down.

"Anyone who took the time to hear them could not help be take an interest. You ruined his chances and yet you can treat him with ridicule and sarcasm."

"And this is your opinion of me?" I replied with an incredulous look. "Thank you for explaining it so explicitly. But I wonder if these offenses may have been overlooked if I had thrown caution to the wind and openly flattered you? Yet, I was mindful of my duty to my family. I have no regrets for the feelings I confessed, nor am I ashamed. They came from my heart. But perhaps, had your pride not been injured, your feelings would be different."

Wickham's lies had poisoned her mind before I even had a chance.

All hope was gone. In its place was bitterness. "Did you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstance? To congratulate myself on relations whose situation in life is so decidedly below my own?" My words were cold, devoid of any civility.

Isabella blanched visibly at my cut.

"And those are the words of a gentleman? "You are mistaken, Mr. Masen. The mode of your declaration merely spared me any concern in refusing you had you behaved in a more gentlemanly manner."

The shock was too much; I could not form words to reply.

"Sir, you could not have made your addresses in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept them," She continued.

She _would have never accepted me_? Impossible.

"From the very beginning, nay, I would say from our very first encounter. Your insufferable manners impressed upon me the belief that I was nothing more than a distraction, one you could use and abuse at your will. Not to mention your arrogance, conceit, and selfish disdain of the feelings of others. Those people, whom you have deemed beneath you, have just as much to offer."

She had stepped closer toward me during her speech. Her face was now inches from mine.

"I had not known you for a month, before I was convinced you were the _last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry._"

The thunder rumbled low though the sky, echoing off the marble walls.

Her eyes were ablaze and her chest heaving as she said it all.

I was angry; I had never felt such a rage in my entire life. Yet I found her absolutely beautiful. I leaned toward her as if in a dream. I was so close to her lips, would a kiss be enough to show her just how much I loved her? Would she feel the bitter disappointment my broken heart had been rendered with her words?

With nothing left to lose, I grasped her arms and brought her lips to mine.

I poured everything into the kiss, my love, my bitterness, all those feeling I had kept carefully concealed for too long. Although at first she fought me eventually she succumbed. We poured our mutual anger and regret onto each other, neither of us able to purge our souls of the awful feelings that accompany a broken heart.

Sooner than I'd hoped, Isabella pulled back, no doubt disgusted with herself for giving into me once again. Her face confirmed my fears, as she covered her mouth in horror.

I pulled back slightly and said in a hushed voice. "You have said quite enough, Madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and now will only be ashamed of what my own have been. Forgive me for intruding upon your time, and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness."

With that, I turned and strode away from her without another word. I was angry and the feeling threatened to consume me. I had come with such high hopes and expectations, only to watch them burn to ash in front of me, all hope scattered to the wind.

I should be rejoicing. I had been granted a release from a most imprudent marriage.

Yet as I walked away, all I could think was the only woman I would ever love _hated me_.


	18. The Letter

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

* * *

**Ashes and Wine,_ a Fine Frenzy_**

_**And I'll tear myself away**_

_**So if that is what you need, there is nothing left to say but**_

_**Is there a chance, a fragment of light**_

_**At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?**_

_**Is there a chance you may change your mind**_

_**Or are we ashes and wine?**_

* * *

I walked away.

I turned my back on the one woman I knew was perfect for me in every way. I knew a lost cause when I saw one and Isabella was very decisive. She wanted nothing do with me.

Hell, she could barely stand the very sight of me.

My lips burned from the memory of her mouth. The way her soft lips had yielded to mine, so passionate and so right… yet she had pulled away, no doubt disgusted by her actions.

There was nothing left for me to do.

I trudged back toward Rosings, the rain beating down on me nearly as hard as I beat down upon myself, soaking my clothing again. But what did I care for rain when my heart was bleeding? I had traveled with such high expectations, only to watch them turn to ash.

I felt such shame when I thought of her poor sister. Her circumstances were so similar to what had happened to Alice.

_Alice._

I was furious with the lies that Wickham had used to poison Isabella's mind. If I ever saw the bastard again, I would run him through on principle, without a second thought. I had no doubt that he would celebrate this as a victory, if he knew just how much his lies had cost me.

_His lies._

I stopped suddenly. I had to somehow improve Isabella's opinion of me. She may never care for me the way I do for her, yet I could not stand the thought of her going through this life hating me based on falsehoods uttered by that man. I would never give up on her.

_But how? _

I began walking again. She would not welcome my presence that much was painfully clear.

Anger bubbled at the surface as I remembered our encounter.

She had described me as the worst sort of man. One who took advantage of unsuspecting women and lived to see others in misery.

In short, she had described _Wickham_.

Damn that bastard to hell!

Wickham was many things; the vindictive man who had attempted to steal from me and my father, more time than I could count. The heartless bastard that sought to ruin my sister's reputation and break her trust in others, in the foulest way possible, and now it seemed he aimed to slander my name to anyone who would listen to his pathetic excuse for lies.

How had my life become so distorted? If it had been any other woman, I would have not given it a second thought. Yet here was the one woman I wanted to spend my life with, and she hated me before I'd ever had a chance to win her affections.

I neared the house; not wanting to speak with anyone at the moment, I elected to go through back entrance. I was not in a fit state, physically or emotionally, to deal with the Old Bat.

I made a valiant effort to remove the mud from my boots, though I knew I failed miserably. I would need to remove them once inside. I pushed open the door, and nearly toppled over.

_Caius_.

"Well, well, if it isn't Master Edward. Back from a little jaunt in the rain?"

He smirked. "I am sure her ladyship would love to know your whereabouts. You should know that very few things go unnoticed by me. Shall I inform her you have returned?"

I pulled myself up to my full height, which was a good head above him.

"Enough!" My voice was harsh.

"You forget your place, Caius. I am no longer a boy, and you will do well to remember in the future that I will no longer tolerate your insubordinate behavior. I am Edward Masen, and I answer to no one, least of all you. If you value your position, I suggest you curb your attitude before next we meet. I would hate to inform her ladyship I can no longer make my annual visit due to a certain servant's poor behavior."

I watched as his face paled. My threat was real, and he knew it.

"I thought not. Until next time then, Caius." I said curtly, walking past him. Though it had been a long time coming, I still felt no sense of victory.

I made my way to the back staircase, carful to remain undetected. I passed the last corridor and slipped quickly into my chambers. Once inside, I slumped to the ground physically exhausted.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

I can't say how long I remained, but it was not until the sun had begun to set that I realized I was still on the floor.

My body felt sore and filthy.

My spirit felt broken.

I picked myself up and walked toward my dressing room.

Standing at the doorway, I tried to make sense of what I was doing. It was then I noticed a bath had been drawn recently. I tested the water and found it to be still warm. I pulled the cord to signal my need of more hot water. Retreating behind the screen, I stood in front of the mirror.

My appearance was haggard; all semblance of the man I knew was gone.

In his place was a fool.

I began the process of stripping each piece of clothing from my body. The door opened with a faint click, followed by the unmistakable sound of water being added to the basin.

"Will there be anything else, sir?"

I looked at the clothing piled onto the floor.

"Yes." I ground out with my raw voice. "When I have finished please dispose of these clothes?"

I could no longer bear to look at them.

"Would you inform Col. Whitlock we depart on the morrow? He is to take the carriage to London; I will ride Blackjack. Tell him I expect to depart no later than mid-morning."

"Very well. Is that all, sir?"

"Also, I would like to remain undisturbed for the remainder of the evening. I do not require food, so please inform the staff I am not to be interrupted."

"Very well sir."

I heard the door click shut. I took once last glance at the clothing, and moved from behind the screen toward the bath. I stepped into the bath, hissing as the heated water hit my cold flesh.

Fully immersing myself in the water, I let my head fall back against the edge of the bath. I stared up at the ceiling as I let the full weight of my emotions wash over me.

Rage…

Humiliation…

Shame…

Regret…

_Emptiness…_

As I contemplated what I had done, and the things Isabella had said, it was not long before I, Edward Masen, sat in my bath, weeping.

The tears flowed silently before the sobs racked my body. I brought my hands to my face, trying to blot out the horrible memories.

"_I had not known you for a month, before I was convinced you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry."_

Her words echoed in my brain, leaving me bereft of feeling.

"Isabella…why?" I choked out in a sob. "Why did you listen to him?" I whispered to no one.

Images of her face swirled in my mind: the fury…the utter fire and passion she'd showed as she defended those she loved.

But I was not among those; I was the adversary.

I needed to address the lies she had been told by Wickham.

How, though?

I had asked myself this question before, yet I was still at a loss.

How could I pour my heart out to her in such a way that she would be receptive?

_A letter!_

I would write a letter. I could only pray she would read it before tossing it to the flames.

I stood quickly; a sudden burst of hope renewed my conviction. Perhaps there could be a chance I could make a slight change in her opinion of me. I was not fool enough to believe she would ever love me.

But to have her think well of me… that would be worth everything.

I reached for the towel, and dried off. Donning my robe, I walked into my chamber, where a freshly stoked blaze waited for me.

Sitting at the writing desk, I methodically pulled out paper, ink and quills.

I sat back and sighed. How does one begin such a letter? I did not want to cause her more distress in thinking the letter was another feeble attempt at gaining her affection.

_After all, that is the last thing she would ever consider,_ I thought bitterly.

With a deep breath, I began to put my feeling to the page.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

_Madam,_

_Be not alarmed on receiving this letter, or that it contains any continuation of sentiments or renewals of offers which today were so disgusting to you. I would, however, like to address the accusations leveled against me._

_First, despite the feelings of either party, I separated your sister from Mr. McCarty. Although I do not deny this, I feel my reasons were just._

_I noticed early on that Mr. McCarty admired your sister and was very much taken with her. The night of the Netherfield ball convinced me that it would not be long until a serious attachment would be made. However, after observing your sister for several weeks, I was unable to sense any kind of strong attachment on her side. Although she seemed to enjoy his company, I was convinced her affections were strong as my friend's feelings for her. So many of our class marry for wealth and titles, and it is a rare match indeed that is formed from love. I did not want my friend to suffer that fate._

_In addition, I was given information that night about a prior engagement your sister had with a Mr. Royce King, one which he ended suddenly. Mr. McCarty was confused and unsure of how your sister really felt, afraid that perhaps she pined for this other man. I convinced him it would be wise to leave for town in order to sort out his feelings._

_I now understand that she did have strong feelings for him, as you informed me, and for that I am truly sorry. It was foolish of me to make assumptions based on what was obviously gossip. I never meant any offense against your sister. I hope you can understand I acted in a way to protect the happiness of a friend by encouraging him to make an informed decision. I can not blame myself for having done this much._

_In the matter of Mr. Wickham, I do not know under what falsehoods he imposed himself on you, yet I hope you can acquit me of cruelty toward him. I feel the only way to do this is it to reveal to you his connection with my family._

_James Wickham is the son of my late father's steward. His father was a good man and held the management of our family's estate. We played together as children, often fishing and getting into trouble, as most young boys do. My father was fond of him and offered to assist him with his education. James attended; however, he showed little real interest in pursuing any career. By the end of his term at school, his habits had become alarmingly erratic, from drinking, to gambling heavily, to debauchery of the worst sort._

_It was not long before he was dismissed from school._

_He floundered in and out of several other careers. We saw little of him until news of my father's illness brought him back to Pemberley. My father's attachment to Mr. Wickham was so steady that upon his death, James was given three thousand pounds, as promised in my father's will. After receiving the money, he vanished for a time. Subsequent to gambling away all his money, he sent a missive asking for more funds, which I refused. He then severed all contact and I did not hear from him until a year ago, under the most painful circumstances, which every day I wish I could forget._

_My sister, Alice, who is ten years my junior, was left in the care of a Mrs. Laurent, in whose character we were very much deceived. After reading several of my sister's letters, I determined that she seemed to be suffering from low spirits. I resolved to leave immediately and try to do what I could for her. Wanting to leave as soon as possible, I did not write ahead to inform anyone of my arrival. When I arrived, the house appeared vacant and Mrs. Laurent was nowhere to be found._

_At that moment, I heard a scream that will forever be seared in my memory._

_I ran frantically, searching for the source of the scream, knowing it was Alice. Approaching her chambers, I threw open the door. What I found shocked and enraged me to no end. James had his hands on my sister, attempting to force himself on her. I ran and threw him off of her, but in my attempt to comfort Alice, who was in hysterics, James had fled._

_The bastard had tried to befriend her, in the hopes she would elope with him. When it became clear that she did not harbor any feelings for him beyond friendship, he sought to ruin her reputation in exchange for money to keep his silence. I suppose his primary motive was money, however, I feel a secondary motive was to revenge himself on me for denying him more funds. If he had succeeded, his revenge would have been complete indeed._

_We were unable to pursue him through the law; to expose him would have meant ruining Alice's reputation. That was not something I was willing to risk._

_And so the rogue roams free, while my sister tries to regain her life. She was but sixteen years old._

_I understand the shock you must be feeling, and I would not burden you with this; however, I have a strong need for you to understand the truth. I know this will not improve your opinion of me, and to that I am reconciled._

_For confirmation, should you feel in need of it, you may apply to Col. Whitlock, who shares the guardianship of Alice with myself, and is aware of all these events and transactions._

_I wish you health and happiness._

_Yours faithfully,_

_Edward Anthony Masen_

As I finished signing my name, I slumped back in the chair. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I turned my head toward the clock, which read three hours past midnight

Turning my attention back toward the letter, I methodically powdered the ink before folding the letter. I watched with concentration as I melted the wax over the paper and pressed my seal down.

It seemed so ironic.

_Will this letter seal my fate? Or will it help to alleviate some of the misguided feelings Isabella harbored toward me?_

I had no way of knowing; only time would tell.

There was nothing more to be done tonight, and I was in desperate need of sleep.

Stepping over to the basin, I splashed water on my face in an attempt to calm myself. However crucial my need for rest, somehow I knew sleep would not come easy tonight.

I disrobed and fell into bed exhausted, as though I had been on a very long journey. The canopy above the bed partially blocked the fresco painted on the ceiling. It was a beautiful depiction of the heavens; millions of stars dotted the midnight skies. It was meant to represent that life was bigger than us all and we were not meant to understand everything.

Though, how I desperately wished to understand.

I still held onto a sliver of hope that tomorrow this would all have been a terrible nightmare.

With that feverish wish, I drifted to sleep.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

The little sleep I'd gotten had been restless at best. I had not succumbed for another hour after falling into bed.

All I could see when I closed my eyes was _her_ face.

Broken, weeping and angry.

I had awoken in a thick sheen of sweat that covered my body. Hoping that it all been just a terrible nightmare.

I stood and went in search of anything that would confirm my hope, when my eyes were drawn to the writing table. There among the shavings was a letter, the bright red seal affixed, and written above was the name _Miss Isabella Swan_.

I felt my breath grow ragged, and my body grew cold and clammy.

It had not been a nightmare, it had really happened.

_Oh, Lord._

I rushed to my dressing room and purged my insides into the basin. The retching was violent, painful and futile, considering there was very little in my stomach to begin with.

I looked up into the mirror, finding the man who stared back at me unrecognizable.

My path, which until recently had been so clear, was now blurred and distorted. I didn't know which direction I was to go. I was a lost man.

I had lost the only woman I loved, the only thing worth fighting for.

She had dismissed me, and like an idiot I had walked away.

Would there still be a chance?

I moved away from the basin and its putrid smell.

If there was to be any hope, it would be that Isabella would cease to despise me, for anything more would be wishful thinking.

I pulled the bell cord, deciding it was time to bathe and dress. I was met by a very concerned Valet.

"Sir, are you ill? Should I summon assistance?" He asked, his face creased in a frown.

"No, I will be well. I have an urgent matter of business that must be attended to this morning. Is all arranged for our departure?"

"Yes sir."

I nodded "Thank you, and please let Colonel Whitlock know I shall need to speak with him as soon as I am dressed."

"Yes, sir. I took the liberty of drawing you a bath earlier. It should still be warm."

"Thank you."

After the valet Left me in peace, I washed my body, trying desperately to feel clean once more. As I bathed the memory of her scent assaulted my senses.

It was everywhere, that rich lavender scent.

"Isabella?" I whispered stupidly, hoping and praying she was near.

Lavender, by nature, was supposed to have soothing properties, yet I could find no peace.

I scrubbed harder, to the point that my skin was raw. Disgusted with myself, I threw the cloth; it was no use.

"Sir, are you ready?" I looked up at my Valet who had returned and was holding my robe.

"Yes, I suppose I lost track of time."

"Was the lavender oil soothing?"

_What?_

"What lavender oil?" I asked, anger bubbling through my veins.

"You had a difficult night last night; I thought it would be soothing."

I closed my eyes and willed my self to be calm. The fault did not lay with him.

"I apologize if I overstepped, sir."

I exhaled slowly before speaking. "Nothing is amiss; I was taken off guard, that is all."

He eyed me warily before helping with the rest of my attire.

"Will that be all, sir?"

"Yes, I will journey to London immediately upon concluding my business."

Donning my greatcoat, I pocketed the letter, and went in search of Jasper.

I found him waiting, or pacing, I should say, outside my room.

"Edward! Do you know how worried I have been? What happened to you?"

"I am fine, Jasper. It seems you were right, my presence was not wanted by Miss Isabella."

"I am sorry friend, I tried to warn you. Something seemed off when we parted." He admitted.

"Jasper, I have not the time to explain all at this moment, but we will talk. I need to ask you, if Miss Isabella applies to you for confirmation about the events that happened to Alice, I need you to tell her the truth. Hold nothing back."

Jasper's expression was one of shock. "Edward, this is serious. Can Miss Isabella be trusted with this information? This is Alice's reputation we are talking about."

I understood his concern, however, I knew the truth would be safe with Isabella. "I trust her implicitly, Jasper."

He nodded in understanding.

"I plan to ride to London immediately after delivering this letter."

I had turned to leave when Jasper caught my arm.

"I am sorry, I did try to help."

"I know, and we can talk more about my folly later."

Like a man walking to the gallows, I made my way to the stables. Blackjack was saddled and waiting for me. I had not been as attentive to him as was my usual practice.

Mounting the saddle, I kicked him into a gentle trot. I was not in any hurry to complete this task. It felt as if this would be the last time I would ever see her.

_How will I survive?_ My heart broke at the thought.

As I neared the parsonage, from the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of color through the trees. I had no doubt it was Isabella.

I quickly dismounted and ran in the direction of the color. She was running.

_Had she seen me?_

I gained on her quickly and found she was simply running for her own pleasure. She had no idea I was there.

_This was it._

I stepped forward and the noise alerted Isabella to my presence.

I took in her face. She looked pale and tired. Her eyes, which had at one time had held so much life, were oddly dead.

In a moment her expression changed, and the fire I so loved ignited in those eyes.

_She was expecting another confrontation._

It was hopeless; she really did hate me.

With all hope gone, I reached for the letter.

"I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but would you do me the honor of reading this letter?" I asked softly.

I gently placed it in her hand and turned quickly, before I broke down and begged her to reconsider.

I ran back to Blackjack, the more distance I put between Isabella and myself, the deeper the pain in my heart.

Remounting, I kicked Blackjack into a gallop.

While riding through the forest, I felt everything.

I could feel the wind as it whipped past my face, caressing it with a coolness that always seemed to calm me. The subtle scent the dew gave as it rested on the mossy forest floor. Every sound echoed as I pushed harder and harder, desperate to find what I needed.

I could still see her face, those angry, defiant eyes that looked directly into my soul. Her eyes called to me, locked me in place.

_I never had a chance._

Galloping through the woods, I spurred Blackjack harder; I needed this almost as much as I needed _her_. I knew I was punishing myself, but I didn't care. I had been careless with my actions and callous with her feelings. I couldn't blame her for rejecting me.

I had brought it all upon myself.

With another crack from my crop, the horse ran faster. My thighs were burning, desperately trying to hold their place. My backside ached from the repeated contact with the saddle. My lungs burned and I didn't know how much more I could take. I was suffocating, but I kept pushing.

Knowing I was running toward _nothing_.

I would return to London, where I would hide and lick my wounds. I could only pray that my letter would change some of the ill feelings she harbored toward me.

After all, much was founded from lies. As to everything else, I would have to live with the knowledge that my pride had managed to ruin my only chance at happiness.


	19. Broken

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

* * *

"**Broken", Lifehouse**

Dreams are often the result of wish fulfillment. I would give anything for my dreams to come true.

Rays of sunlight filtered through slits in the dark curtains in the room, the offending light pierced my eyes. A slight breeze floated through the open windows, causing the drapes to flutter back and forth.

Groaning, I attempted to lift my head, but was unable.

_Where am I?_

There was a faint buzz in my ears, but I was unable to make it out.

_And what is that terrible smell?_ The putrid stench of sweat and the stale aroma of alcohol permeated the air. With what felt like all the strength I possessed, I slowly opened my eyes. Through my hazy vision, I took in the room's contents. It was vaguely familiar; however, I was having a hard time placing where I was.

"Been in…for…"

The sounds were becoming more distinct, even though they sounded like I was hearing them from under water.

I lifted my head slowly, discovering the pounding in my skull was intense. _Have I been beaten and left for dead?_

Once my head was up, I sat in what I concluded was a chair and looked again at my surroundings. I was sitting at a desk, surrounded by several empty bottles and one glass.

I was in my study, in my London home.

But why was I surrounded by several empty liquor bottles?

"Please…talk….worried."

I looked towards the door, where the voices were coming from. I thought about standing up and going to investigate, however my stomach had other ideas. The thought of moving in any form was nauseating.

A knock came. The sound sent my head pounding.

I looked up to see a grim faced Jasper walk through and shut the door quietly.

He carried a tray, and from what I could tell, it had what I hoped was coffee.

"Edward." He acknowledged.

I was confused. _Why is Jasper here? At this hour?_ I was still trying to figure out why I fell asleep in my study.

"Jasper, why are you here? I told you I would explain when I returned to London, but I didn't mean the next day."

Jasper gasped. "Edward, what do you mean, 'the next day?'"

"I _meant_I would contact you a few days after returning from Rosings." This was getting ridiculous and my patience was wearing thin with my massive headache.

"Edward, it's been a month." He looked at my with pity; as if I had lost my mind.

_A month!_

"Pardon? I don't think I heard you correctly. You said a month?"

"Yes! Dammit, Edward, I was here last night. Do you not remember anything?"

_Last night?_

"I can see that you don't." He continued. "I suggest you sip on this and attempt to clear you head. I will be back within an hour. You have a sister who needs to be calmed down who is in hysterics over your recent behavior."

That got my immediate attention.

"Alice? What's wrong? What happened?"

"You, Edward! You returned from Rosings a completely different person. In the past several weeks you have managed to terrify your sister and make an absolute ass of yourself. Drink this, clear your head, then, we will have a serious discussion when I return."

He turned and walked straight for the door, not pausing once to see my reaction. If he did he would have seen my absolute stunned expression.

I picked up the steaming cup, inhaling the aroma, before tasting.

Ugh, it was absolutely disgusting.

No doubt, it was one of Jasper's many concoctions for ridding oneself of a hangover. It seemed years of wisdom were passed down the ranks. It would not do for a soldier to show up to battle inebriated or suffering the effects of too much libation.

The vile liquid slid down my throat, burning as it made its way down. I fought every urge to regurgitate the awful stuff.

After a time my head began clearing and the pounding eased some. I tried to think about what had happened. However, thinking only brought back to pounding in my temples.

I tried to think of the last memory I had after Rosings.

Rosings…Isabella…

"No…what have I done?" I whimpered, as a stream of memories flooded my mind.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

_I arrived in London at record pace. I had stopped just long enough to water feed and properly rest Blackjack. Had I not been so desperate to put as much distance between us, I would never have dreamed of putting so much strain on my horse. _

_I entered my town home and went straight to my chambers._

_Reaching for the bottle of brandy, I immediately threw back a full glass. The amber liquid burned, but the soothing numbness it brought was welcomed._

_My valet and servants came and went, each informing me of visitors wishing to speak with me._

_All were turned away. I had no desire for company._

_I even denied Alice admittance, something I had never done._

_In one of my more lucid moments, I sent a message to Jasper, informing him that I was not able to speak with him at this time. It turned out that he was to report to the Major general and would be gone for several weeks. I would be spared the horrid pain that would accompany the discussion I owed him._

_I awoke and found the liquor store in my private stock had been exhausted; I would need to venture out._

_I decided I needed to get out for a time. The fresh air would no doubt do me good._

_I bathed and dressed for the first time in... I was unsure how long._

_My time outside was unhelpful. As I walked through the park, I was greeted with the site of happy couples, and children. Everything I desperately wanted, and now would never have._

_I returned even more desperate than when I had left._

_It seemed like I was suffocating. I had not even felt this way when my father or mother had passed. The pain was just too much._

_I stepped into the house, only to be met by a very concerned Alice._

"_Edward, finally. Why have you been hiding? Were you ill?"_

_I shook my head; I could not even bear to speak to her._

_I continued walking, without so much as looking in her direction._

_I locked myself away in my chambers._

_Glass in hand; I sat on my window ledge, watching as the sun slowly dipped below the horizon. Though it was cold near the glass, the comfort from the brandy warmed my body. The moon began to rise and I was bathed with its light. _

_I awoke folded in an uncomfortable position in front of the window, I suppose I had not even bothered to move. Feeling tried and sluggish, I decided I needed exercise. It had been a long time since I had visited the fencing house._

_Upon arriving, I was confused by the incredulous stares I was attracting. Why were people looking at me as I were a stranger that did not belong?_

"_Sir?" I turned to see the master._

_I turned and saw master Giovanni, looking at me as if he did not even know me._

"_I apologize for the length of time between visits, I was tied up with…business." I managed to push the bile that was threading to come forth with such a lie._

"_Very well, Mr. Masen, but you do not look well. Are you sure you able to exert yourself today?"_

_I became irritated with the man questioning me._

"_I would not be here if that was not the case," I snapped before I realized what a horrible thing that was to say. "I am sorry, master Giovanni; I have been under a lot of stress and just need to unwind."_

"_Very well." He conceded, but I could tell he was not happy._

_We begun and I threw myself into the movements. The exercise was beneficial, for it distracted me from thoughts of Isabella._

_I wondered if she had read the letter. What she thought of my conduct toward Wickham._

_Wickham! _

_I was barely able to think straight when my thoughts turned to him. The utter rage and fury consumed me. What he had done was unconscionable. _

_I was unsure if my sword was enough. I would choke the life out of him with my bare hands. Watch the light leave his eyes with satisfaction._

"_Sir…Sir…SIR! I yield to you."_

_I stopped, snapped out of my concentration._

_Master Giovanni was looking at me with a flushed expression and a look of alarm, my foil inches away from his neck. Stepping back quickly, I dropped the foil to my side._

_Looking around, I noticed several people had gathered to watch. I was not used to having spectators. _

_The stares made me uncomfortable._

_Finally regaining his composure, master Giovanni cleared his throat. "Mr. Masen, It has been a very long time since I have yielded to anyone. That was some masterful fencing. What ignited such a display from you today?"_

_Groaning, I shook my head in confusion._

"_I apologize, sir. I have been out of sorts lately."_

_The master shook his head, "I am simply amazed- and you have no reason to apologize."_

_I had no desire to discuss the real reason for my amazing win._

"_Thank you, sir."_

_I bowed and left before I could embarrass myself further. _

_It seemed I was unable to function in any aspect of normal society without making a fool of myself._

_Leaving the club, I opted to walk. Walking was safe._

_The sun slowly moved along the sky. I had no concept of where I was going. All I knew was the journey would pass time. Time was all I had; there was no purpose to it anymore._

_Eventually, the sun dipped below the skyline. I hailed a cab, something I rarely, if ever, did. The coach was filthy and disgusting._

"_Where to, guv'ner?"_

_I gave the cabbie my address, to which he whistled a low whistle._

"_Rich area, that. You get lost?"_

_It was then I looked, really looked, at my surroundings. I had no clue where I was._

"_Where am I?" I asked, embarrassed that I could find myself in this situation._

"_Cheapside, sir."_

_I was miles away from my home, in the dark, in what looked to be a downtrodden area._

_I rubbed my face in frustration at myself. "Thank you. Can you please take me home?"_

"_Aye, guv'ner, right away."_

_The ride was quick, compared with how long it had taken me to get lost._

_I paid the man probably more than he made in a month, but I didn't care. He was extremely pleased._

_The house was dark; no doubt everyone was in bed for the night, with the exception of a few servants. I sighed, pulling my key from my pocket. The lock was old, but I had never had trouble before- until tonight. _

_I was exhausted, yet I did not want to wake the whole house._

_Slumping down on the step, I laid my head against the door._

_Soon my lids grew heavy, and I drifted to sleep._

_Suddenly, I was being moved, though where to or why, I was unsure. I looked down to see my feet were shuffling along. But how? I blinked several times, trying to rid the sleep from my eyes._

_I soon realized that my valet had his arm slung around me and was practically carrying me upstairs to my bedroom. I tried to make an effort to ease his burden, but it seemed my legs were not cooperating. We reached my chambers, and I was stripped and put in bed. I was unable to thank him; he disappeared as quickly as he came._

_I closed my eyes and drifted once again._

_Upon waking, the first thing I noticed was a horrible and foul stench. The room reeked of sweat and stale liquor._

_I sat at the edge of the bed trying to clear my head before attempting to stand._

_On unsteady legs, I made my way to my dressing room. I did not even bother with the mirror; I had no desire to look at myself._

_I waited while the servants filled the bath._

_While the servants filled the bath, I surveyed the room, counted bath linens- anything to distract myself. _

_Once the water was ready, I stepped in, expecting a soothing hot bath._

_The water was hot, but that was not the reason I felt my stomach tie into knots. There, in front of me, was the wood nymph I had purchased, hanging from a delicate chain on the wall._

_She stared at me, taunting me with her smile._

_I completely submerged myself in the water, half thinking that drowning would not be a bad fate at this moment._

_I resurfaced, hoping the offending picture would have disappeared. However, it was not to be._

_I looked at the painting. Really looked. Thought there was a likeness, it was not Isabella. Though close enough to cause my imagination to run wild._

_Enough!_

_This needed to stop. I was becoming someone I loathed and hated._

_I was disgusted with what I was doing to myself and those I loved._

_Isabella did not love me, nor would she ever._

_As she had so plainly stated._

_Perhaps I was lonely. Perhaps I needed companionship._

_I was willing to do anything to rid myself of the haunting visions my mind conjured at every thought of her._

_I looked at the picture again, taunting me with those eyes, those swells of flesh peeking out in places sure to drive me mad._

_I longed to feel her skin under my fingertips, to watch her face as I brought her to ecstasy._

_Had I imagined all those times, when she looked happy?_

_I would have sworn she responded to my touch._

_Perhaps I needed to forget._

_Replace her memory with another._

_That's what I would do - I would forget._

_While I dressed; a very wary look graced my valet's face. I knew he was worried for me, but I was set._

_I was determined. _

_I could not go on like this. I was willing to do anything._

_Arriving at a familiar door, I paused to gather my thoughts and perhaps my resolve. I had not been here for years… but why should I deny myself?_

_Isabella has no claim on me, as I had no claim on her. She'd made that perfectly clear._

_I knocked with a shaking hand, and waited._

_When the door opened, a woman gestured for me to enter._

_The first thing I noticed was the heavy scent of French perfume. Her eyes were lined in heavy kohl and thick rouge marked her cheeks. Her overly processed charms were nothing to Isabella's natural beauty._

"_Good evening, Sir. Welcome to the Hartcourt house. My name is Madame Valérie. What kind of…entertainment do you require?"_

_Without thinking I blurted out, "I need to forget."_

_She blanched, obviously caught off guard by my candid remark._

"_I see…I have just the one for you. Follow me."_

_I followed the unmistakable smell of liquor and sex that permeated the air. Sounds of pleasure seeped from the walls._

_It was humiliating to think I was reduced to coming here for any form of comfort; surely it should be obvious to me now. I was in hell._

_We reached a door almost at the end of the hallway. I looked at the woman, who knocked quietly before opening the door._

_The room was lit by several candles, but the woman seated away on the bed was shrouded in shadows._

"_This is Cécile. She is very good at… how you say? Oh yes, taking care of your needs." _

_The woman rose from the bed and curtsied slightly. It was as if my body and my mind acted apart. I nodded and Madame Valérie smiled before shutting the door behind her._

_I turned back toward the woman, suddenly struck with an urge to flea. What am I doing?_

_I stood still, unable to move forward._

"_Sir? This will work best if you join me over here."_

_Her voice was low and mesmerizing, her subtle accent made her appear exotic. _

_The exact opposite of Isabella's. _

_This is a mistake. I should have never come here._

_I moved toward her, with the intention of thanking her for her time and leaving. But another feeling was gnawing at me. Why should I deny myself? I would go the years devoid of life, never to have that perfect love my parents shared. Why should I be condemned to go through life without the comfort of another? _

_Even if I found it in such circumstances._

_With a measure of conviction I stepped toward the edge of her bed._

_The woman was barely so, she was more of a young lady, barely able to fill the corset fitted to her body. A veil hid her face from me. I reached up to lift the veil, when she stopped me._

"_Why are you here?"_

_It was frank and honest, as if she could sense my hesitance._

_It was my turn to be honest._

"_I need to forget."_

_"Je vois, une peine de cœur." _

"_Pardon?"_

_It is, oh how you say? A broken heart."_

_I nodded, "yes and she wants nothing to do with me."_

"_Such a pity, a man such as you. Any woman should consider herself lucky."_

"_You are young, handsome, and…" she reached forward, placing her hand on the front of my trousers, "…virile too." She shook her head. "Such a waste."_

_She reached for the veil, lifting it._

"_I will make you forget all; you will leave here with all memories of this woman wiped from your mind."_

_Long brown hair cascaded from the veil as she pulled it from her head. She looked up and I was shocked. Looking up at me were a pair of large brown eyes, fitted in features that were so eerily familiar I felt the urge to be sick._

_Instead, I decided to flee. It was the only way._

_I ran out the door, almost running over a gentleman who was leaving just a few doors down._

_I ignored the pleas from the woman I had just run from. _

_I couldn't think; all I could do was run._

_Pausing long enough to leave plenty of money for her trouble, I rushed out the door. _

_The night air did little to sooth my aching lungs as I took a desperate breath. _

_I cannot deal with all these feelings._

_I had almost done something that went against every moral I had ever set for myself. My father and mother would be appalled and disgusted if they saw what I had become. I had no excuse; I had done it all to myself._

_Not wanting to deal with pain, I went into a nearby tavern._

_The owner eyed me, confused no doubt, as to why I stood in the doorway looking lost._

"_What can I get fer ye?" He called._

"_Something strong, very strong."_

_He chuckled. "I got lots of that, but yer goin' to have to be more specific."_

"_Scotch and a glass, please."_

"_One glass coming up."_

_I shook my head. "No sir, I would like your best bottle of scotch and a glass."_

"_But, that's nearly ten quid, sir!"_

_I pulled the money from my pocket and threw it in his direction. "Will that be sufficient?"_

_Shocked no doubt, he nodded and disappeared, bringing me back a bottle of Irish scotch whiskey, and a glass._

"_Enjoy sir."_

_I tipped the opened bottle to my nose inhaling; the scent hit and burned my nose._

_I filled my glass and emptied the entire contents in one swallow._

_The whiskey burned as it hit my throat, but the warmth and numbness it brought was welcomed._

_I poured another…._

_And then another…_

_Soon my senses were sufficiently numb, and I sat watching the patrons as they went about their lives. No doubt happy._

_I had everything._

_Money…_

_Position…_

_Yet I sat here in this filthy tavern, worse off than the poorest man. For it was then I realized I truly had nothing._

"_Sir? I raised my head from the table. "Sir, I am closing up, would you like me to find you transportation home?"_

_I tried to speak, but it was slurred and unrecognizable. So I nodded instead._

_Somehow my bottle of scotch and I made it home. I stumbled up my steps, and knocked loudly, not bothering with a key._

_I was greeted by a very concerned housekeeper._

"_Sir? Oh, thank heavens; your sister has been beside herself with worry."_

"_Edward? Edward! What happened to you? What is going on?"_

_I waved her off and stumbled toward my study, slamming the door behind me._

_I couldn't deal with her look of disappointment, when she saw how truly broken I was. Alice was still young. I couldn't destroy any hope of love she still possessed. _

_I finished the bottle._

_Time moved slowly._

_Bottles emptied as I attempted to blot out my pain._

_Hours turned into days._

_Days turned into weeks._

_Time slowly bled into an agonizing routine. I would drift through my responsibilities. Doing what little I had to, before retreating to the sanctuary of my study. _

_Alice tried to talk to me, but I couldn't bring myself to speak to her._

_No one could help me._

_So I numbed the pain. It was the only way._

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

"Edward." I looked up to some very concerned blue eyes.

Jasper.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to focus. But the sleep wasn't lifting.

"Jasper why are you here? It's the middle of the night."

"Edward its three in the afternoon, and you are completely drunk. Anything you would care to share with me?"

_Three in the afternoon?_

"What day is it Jasper?"

"It is April 10th, Edward, and I think it is time for you to tell me why I received a frantic plea from your sister, in which she begged me to come as quickly as possible."

"I can't, it hurts too much." I slurred

Confused, he asked again, "What hurts, Edward?"

"A woman." I choked out.

"A woman? I am confused Edward, how could a woman possible inflicted this kind of suffering?" He asked confused.

I looked him in the eye, barely managing to respond before passing out.

"Her name is Isabella Swan, and I am the last man she could ever be prevailed upon to marry."


	20. Healing

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

After a rather long silence, Jasper could only shake his head incredulously.

"Edward, are you telling me that you made an offer of marriage to Miss Isabella? And that she refused you?"

"Yes," I moaned, as the weight of what he said made my heart break once more.

"I suppose your timing wasn't the best; she seemed to be in very low spirits when we parted."

I began laughing, but it sounded more like a cough.

"Ah, yes, your assistance. Though it is no fault of yours, you happened to inform Isabella that I had separated her sister from Mr. McCarty."

Jasper's eye's widened as he realized the severity of what I had done.

"Oh, Edward, I am deeply sorry, but that would explain why she suddenly took ill that day." He did truly look sorry. Though he had no reason to be, the fault was entirely mine.

"I know my friend, but the fault lies with me. I went to her so sure of her feelings. I expected to propose and that she would accept me. I couldn't have been more wrong."

I rubbed my temples as I went back and thought through our encounter. Her words once again pierced me in a most painful way.

"_I will confess I was surprised by your proposal. I expected an offer of a very different nature. I expected by your continued behavior that you wanted nothing more from me than to be your distraction, or worse, your mistress."_

"_And those are the words of a gentleman? You are mistaken, Mr. Masen. The mode of your declaration merely spared me any concern in refusing you had you behaved in a more gentlemanly manner."_

"I suppose I owe you an explanation but I am not sure I am able to form the words."

"Edward, it is Alice you owe an explanation to. Do you not realize that she blames herself for your current state? She believes she disappointed you somehow."

This caught my attention immediately. "What? Why? She has never disappointed me."

"Yes, I know Edward, but does she know this?"

I groaned into my hands, my head was splitting; this conversation was going from bad to worse.

"That can wait until later." His eyes bore into mine, "Right now I need you to tell me what happened to you and Miss Isabella that would plunge you into such dangerous and destructive behavior."

Closing my eyes, I thought of where best to begin.

"After I found out she was ill, I went in search of her immediately. I was set on asking her to marry me…"

I drew a slow breath before continuing.

"I explained my reservations to the match, the struggles I had gone through before deciding to pursue her. How I had come to love her completely…"

I dropped my head, and rubbed my temples, willing the pain away.

"I just don't understand, I really thought she felt the same. How could I have been so wrong?"

Jasper stared at me with an incredulous stare and then finally, he began to laugh.

"I am glad you are able to find humor in my suffering." I murmured.

"Edward, only _you_ would try to propose to a girl by informing her of just how unsuitable she was before telling her you loved her."

What? Had I really done that? Isabella words once again came to my mind.

"_I am sure the feelings, which as you said hindered your regard, will help you in overcoming it."_

"_However, I have always sworn I would only marry for love. Why would I marry a man who can barely justify his reasons for wanting me in the first place?"_

Oh, Lord… I had…

"You're not helping," I mumbled completely ashamed.

His expression softened.

"In all honesty, I have never seen you like this, Edward. Not even after your Mother or Father passed away. I do not doubt your sincerity; I believe you truly love this woman. The question is why did she reject you?"

"The list is rather long, are you sure you have enough time?"

His brow furrowed as if he thought I jested.

"Besides the fact that I ruined her sister's happiness forever... I am a proud, conceited, disagreeable man, who wants everyone to be as miserable as I am. I use and abuse people at my will, with no thought to the feelings of others." I exhaled defeated, her reproofs were harsh and had stung considerably, but my actions had led to those conclusions. It was ironic really that everything I had done to protect my sister and Isabella from Wickham would end up coming back to haunt me.

I continued, my words laced with bitterness. "In the eyes of Isabella, I am an unfeeling monster who has ruined Wickham's life."

Jasper hissed as he exhaled sharply. "Wickham! What has he to do with this?"

"Everything, well not everything, but the bastard was telling Isabella I had cheated him out of his inheritance, and separated him from Alice. He poisoned her mind against me. I never had a chance."

"What?" He roared. "He has the gall to spread falsehoods about you and Alice after what he did?" His eyes were colder than I had ever seen them.

I had heard many times that Jasper had a calm collective to his emotions on the battlefield. Something that the other officers respected, it made him a terrifying opponent. I was sure that if Wickham was within a mile of here, he would be dead.

"Trust me, my friend; I thought I had taken care of the situation. Now I fear I only gave him more reason to spread his lies."

"That does not excuse what he has done." His anger far from abated.

"No, Jasper, it doesn't, but there is little I can do at this point. I will not expose him, bringing Alice's reputation into question. Though if I ever have the good fortune to meet with him again, I will not hesitate to finish what I should have months ago."

The cold fury in Jasper's eyes began to ebb but I could sense this was not the last we would speak of this. Jasper was loyal to his family and this crossed the line. Wickham would pay dearly if he had any say in the matter.

"What will you do now?"

"I honestly don't know. I will never love another like I love Isabella but she despises me. I fear my only course, at present, is to make restitution to those I have wronged, starting with Alice."

Jasper smiled, though it was measured. "I think that is a good plan, but would be best after you have sobered...and," he sniffed the air before adding, "…had a bath."

I looked at my appearance, glancing down at my clothing, rumpled and stained. I didn't have a mirror, but could only imagine the frightful state of my hair and face. I rubbed my cheeks and felt stubble that was well over a week gone. I am sure I looked positively wild.

I could only imagine the horrible criticism my appearance would illicit from the Harpy. I started laughing, it hurt my head but I was unable to stop. The irony was too great.

Jasper looked a little relived, "and now it is my turn to ask, what you find so humorous, though if it has to do with your appearance I will have to agree."

"A passing thought, but have no fear I will bathe, dress and talk with Alice. The bath will give me time to reflect on how to make amends."

Jasper placed his hand gently on my shoulder, "You are a good man, Edward, perhaps you were given too much responsibility at such a young age, but you have always been a good man."

I only nodded; the emotions were threatening to break through. It was time like these that I could feel my father's presence, and longed for his counsel.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

After a much needed bath and fresh clothing, I went in search of Alice.

I found her in the music room. I stopped outside the door to listen, as she played our father's favorite. The melody was the same but the feeling was different. There was an undercurrent of sadness in the notes, the once pleasant melody was now laced with sorrow and uncertainty.

I had caused this. My selfishness had hurt those I cared for the most.

I walked into the room slowly, not wanting to startle her. I placed my hand on her shoulder, and the playing stopped immediately. Alice turned slowly, her face fixed on the floor. I gently raised her chin.

"Come with me, Alice. I believe I owe you an apology, as well as an explanation."

She nodded and stood following me over to the sofa.

"Alice," I swallowed hard trying to keep my emotions in check. "I want to beg your forgiveness. You did not deserve the treatment you have received at my hands as of late. I am ashamed of my actions and how they have hurt you."

She placed her hand tentatively on my cheek. "Edward, there is nothing to forgive, especially after you forgave my indiscretion."

She dropped her head slightly in an effort to hide the tears that were falling softly down her cheeks.

"What do you mean your indiscretion, Alice? Surely you do not blame yourself for what that...that…bastard tried to do to you?"

She nodded and burst into tears.

I pulled her to me and held her as she wept into my coat. We sat there for a time; I held her, attempting to calm her.

Finally, she quieted and I attempted to broach the subject once more, but Alice spoke first.

"I cannot help but think I must have done something to lead him to believe I wanted him. How could he otherwise have been so mistaken? I cannot believe anyone could be so purposefully malicious."

I held her face and stroked the tears away with my thumbs.

"Alice, James attempted to extort money from me more times than I can count."

She gasped, shocked.

"I know, dearest, I never thought he would stoop so low as to attempt what he did simply for money. But I have a feeling there was more to it. I am sorry I have not been as forth coming with you about my past with James. But I felt it was better left in the past."

"Edward, I am no longer a child."

"I know, Alice, but Father left you in my charge." I felt the tears threatening to fall. "He placed the responsibility of your happiness and well being in my hands and...I failed him…utterly."

I choked out, "I will never forgive myself."

She shook her head sadly.

"No, Edward, you and Jasper are my guardians, it was the circumstances and my choices that led to what happened. If you had not cared enough to come check on me..." She trailed off unable to finish.

"Don't, Alice, do not even think it. It's in the past, let us leave it there."

"But Edward, how can I leave it in the past when clearly you can't either? As brother and sister we must rely on one another. So enough about me, I would like to be there for you now, as you were there for me." Her eyes were pleading.

"Please tell me what caused you to become so despondent."

I looked at my sister, who had always been a little girl in my eyes and now I saw a woman. I cursed Wickham for forcing her too soon to know the harsh realities of this life. But as I looked closer, I saw a new confidence that was not there before. I had always had her trust and now she was asking the same of me.

I took a deep breath, "Her name is Miss Isabella Swan, and I love her more than my own life."

She smiled brightly; she probably assumed I would never marry. "Will I get to meet her soon? I should dearly like to make Miss Isabella's acquaintance."

I shook my head sadly, "Ah, my dear, but I am afraid this tale does not have a happy ending."

Her brows knit together ever so slightly.

I paused, trying to form the words to best explain what had happened.

"Through a series of circumstances, many of my own doing, Miss Isabella came to have a rather poor opinion of my character."

"You mean she dislikes you?"

"Utterly." I admitted.

"_Your arrogance, conceit, and selfish disdain of the feelings of others."_

"_I had not known you for a month, before I was convinced you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry." _

"But that makes no sense, Edward. You have always been a kind generous man who thinks of everyone but himself. No! She must have been mistaken."

I groaned internally, this was not going as planned. I really had no desire to impart all the painful details of the past month. It was too much and I was emotionally spent.

"No dearest, I am afraid she formed her opinion from many different sources."

She sat there patiently, and I realized she would not let me get away. We sat there in the music room for the better part of an hour. I told her what happened in Hertfordshire, as well as Kent. She listened intently, allowing me to finish without interruption.

"So you see, I ruined everything with my pride." I was ashamed and all my emotions felt raw.

She looked at me thoughtfully before answering.

"What do you plan to do about it?" She asked, as if the solution was simple.

"I don't know, Alice; time I suppose is what I need."

She placed her finger on her cheek, and had a thoughtful look in her eye. I knew that look. "I have a feeling you should go see Mr. McCarty."

I smiled, "Yes, I was planning on meeting him later at the club."

"Excellent! I am glad to see you smile. Never do that to me again, Edward." Though her tone was teasing, I could see the pain I had caused her.

I leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I promise, Alice."

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

I felt stifled as I made my way through the club, it had been awhile since I had been in company. I approached the table where Emmett sat waiting for me. His back was to me, but his shoulders looked slumped.

"Emmett," I addressed him with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

"Edward," he greeted me enthusiastically. I felt some hope that maybe he was happy after all.

"It's been a long time my friend; where have you kept yourself hidden these past months?"

"I was visiting my Aunt in Kent, and then returned to London."

He smiled, but it wasn't the same. "I'm glad to hear it."

I nodded, but really couldn't think of anything else to say. It was awkward.

"It's been damn dull around here, so you really haven't missed anything."

"Have you been to the theater? Or are you just making the rounds at the usual clubs?"

He took a drink from his glass, before responding.

"I'm not sure why, but I haven't fell like doing much of anything. I had hoped by this time I would be..."

He trailed off, but it was too late. I knew exactly what he inferred and it cut me deeply.

I had hurt him, and now had no clue how to fix things. I could tell him everything, but I doubted Miss Swan's opinion of my friend would be very friendly after the way things were left. I wasn't sure how much of our conversation Isabella would impart to her, but I doubted she would let her sister within a fifty mile radius of my friend.

We sat quietly for a time, I was desperately thinking of anything that could brighten his mood.

"Emmett, would you like to accompany Alice and me to Pemberley? We leave in a few weeks and I would be honored to have you as my guest."

I knew I would have to tell him about my part in separating him and Miss Swan but I couldn't face his ire right now.

"I am supposed to escort Tanya and Lauren up to Scarborough. Mr. Crowley will be joining us later."

This proved to complicate things immensely.

He sighed and looked even more defeated. "Thank you for the offer, Edward."

I needed to make restitution, even though I was too much of a coward to tell him the whole sorted tale. I knew that it would enrage him to no end when he found out the details behind what Royce King had done, not to mention the guilt that would bring for his treatment of her.

I promised myself I would make it up to my friend. I swallowed, _Lord _I can't believe I was really going to say this.

"Emmett," I swallowed the bile that was creeping up my throat. "You may extend the invitation to your sisters, I would be...happy to have them as my guests as well."

"You mean it?" He asked curiously, "Edward, I know you can't stand Tanya."

"Yes, but you are my friend; I am willing to have _her_ in my home, if that is what it takes." It was unbearable, but I was able to will myself not to break into a cold sweat at the thought of _The Harpy_ in my home.

"You _are_serious," his expression was one of shock. "Very well, I will ask Tanya and Lauren if they will be amenable to breaking the trip at Pemberley for a few weeks before we head onto Scarborough."

He looked at and smiled, "Although I can safely say nothing short of the death would keep Tanya from seeing Pemberley."

I groaned audibly, and Emmett laughed heartily.

I may have to suffer in those weeks but to see my friend laugh and smile was worth whatever discomfort having _her_ in my home would bring. It was a large home and I could avoid her easily.

We parted and I felt things were going to be okay. I promised to send him a message as soon as possible with the details of our departure. He, in return, promised to write and let me know if the ladies were willing to make the change in their plans.

Lord have mercy on me.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~ **

_The sun was high as I tried to adjust my eyes. I looked around at where I was. I was in Derbyshire, near my home. The familiar landscape was_ _comforting as I looked at the rocks and mountains I called home._

_I was nearing a favorite overlook of mine, when I spotted someone standing on the cliff in the distance. The wind was whipping wildly at her dress, the fabric swayed helplessly in its wake. Her hair was sweeping across her face as she continued to look out toward the valley. Her arms were still at her sides. I wanted to get closer to see who this person was, but I couldn't move. _

_I continued to watch her as she just stood there, unmoving. Finally, I found the will to approach her._

_When I was with in reach, I stretched out my arm to touch her but before my hands could connect with_ _her, she disappeared. _

_As she faded she turned her head slightly reviling those familiar features that haunted my dreams, it was Isabella and I swore there were tears on her face._

I awoke in a cold sweat. I had not had a nightmare in several weeks and it unsettled me. I intended to depart for Pemberley today; my journey would take me past that same cliff side.

We breakfasted, and I oversaw the final loading of the carriages. In an effort to assist in whatever way he could, Emmett offered to take the ladies separate and meet us at the Inn where we would break for lunch and change horses. I shuddered again at the thought of Tanya's excitement over her invitation to my home. When Emmett's letter had come he tried to calmly describe the grave I had now dug for myself.

She misinterpreted it as an invitation to something more with me, no matter the amount of times Emmett explained to her that she was merely a guest she would not listen. Alice had been surprisingly unaffected by the news, she was proud of me for doing what I needed to make my friend happy and promised to head her off when necessary. I still feel a cold feeling a dread in the pit of my stomach. I would be sure to lock my bedroom door each night.

We set off; I sat in the carriage with Alice to keep her company. She rested her head on my shoulder, and I looked out the window. Alice soon drifted to sleep and as she rested, I contemplated everything that had happened since Hertfordshire.

I longed to be able to talk to my father.

I longed to ask for Isabella's forgiveness.

Regret was a harsh mistress.

We were approaching the Inn and I saw Emmett's carriage out front. I was surprised that they had made good time. I didn't think it would be possible for Emmett to leave London 'til well after mid-morning.

The carriage came to a stop, and I roused Alice who woke easily.

"Have we arrived already?" She asked sleepily.

"Yes, you looked so peaceful; I didn't have the heart to wake you. Come, let's get you some lunch."

She smiled, and I helped her from the carriage.

We stepped into the Inn and were immediately assaulted by an overwhelming odor.

_The Harpy._

"Edward!" She shrieked, finally. "We have been so worried."

I looked at Emmett, who was suppressing a chuckle. I looked around at the establishment, curious eyes were looking in our direction. I was well known at this Inn, as I broke my journeys here when traveling to and from Pemberley. I could not have any rumors or confusion where Tanya was concerned.

"Excuse us, Miss McCarty, I would ask you again to address me as Mr. Masen. My sister and I require food after our journey; please excuse us.

I walked by Emmett, whispering. "Please control her, it would not due for rumors to start spreading because of her lack of decorum."

He smiled a small smile, "I will try but you know how she is."

I nodded and went to seat Alice.

"Edward, my carriage had a bit of trouble, and I fear it will be several hours before it will be fit for travel."

"Mr. Masen?" I turned to find the old innkeeper with a letter in his hand. "A letter arrived this morning, sir."

I took the letter, thanked him, and looked back at Emmett. "Give me a moment to read this and we will figure out what is best to be done."

I sat down and began reading the letter, which was from my Steward. Apparently, there was a problem on the estate which required my attention immediately.

_I could arrange for Emmett to escort my sister in the morning after repairs had been made to the carriage. It would enable me to ride ahead on Blackjack resolving the matter before my guests arrived. _

As I went through the plan in my head, Alice interrupted me.

"Edward, what did the letter say?"

"There is a problem on the estate that requires my immediate attention. Would you be willing to stay until the McCarty's carriage is repaired?"

"Of course, Edward, would that be in the morning?"

"Yes, Mr. McCarty will ride with you. I would not leave you to spend hours inside a carriage with his sisters."

She mouthed a thank you.

I went in search of Emmett who was outside.

"Emmett..." the Harpy whined, "Why must you be so cruel? You are not helping my chances, brother." I shuddered at her meaning.

"Tanya, we have been through this. Mr. Masen has no interest in you, please stop embarrassing my friend. He was gracious to invite you to his home."

I made my presence known, The Harpy colored and Emmett shook his head at my timing.

"Emmett, it appears there is a matter of urgent business that requires me at Pemberley this afternoon. I have spoken to Alice and am asking if you would escort her to Pemberley in the morning. You will ride in my carriage, along with her maid. Will that be agreeable?"

Tanya interrupted, "But Edward," I blanched at her continued use of my name. "Would not Lauren and I be vastly better company for your sister than my brother?" she said in a simpering voice.

"No, I believe your brother will suit just fine." My tone told her the matter was final.

She huffed and stomped off.

Emmett shook his head laughing, "She will never change; I am so sorry, Edward."

"I understand." Even though I really didn't, how could a woman be so persistent after receiving no encouragement?

"I would be honored, Edward, to escort your sister home. We will see you tomorrow, safe travels."

I shook his hand and went in search of Blackjack.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

I rode the familiar road at a steady pace. It wasn't far now 'til I would be at Pemberley.

I passed the same cliff from my dream. It was unsettling to think of Isabella being so near to my home. I thought of stopping, but knew I need to move on. It would do no good to dwell on a past I couldn't change.

All I could hope for was that she had read my letter and that it had softened her hatred of me. I could also correct those errors she had brought to my attention and try to make myself worthy of her.

I entered the edge of the Pemberley estate, I would know these woods anywhere. The summer cast it in a brilliant green, the recent rains had given the grass a lush color. I looked ahead and saw the house in view; I was almost home. Truthfully, I was happy to be home. I felt the first true feeling of peace in months.

The day had grown warm and I was excessively hot and tired. The lake on the edge of the property beckoned me. Deciding I had time to swim, I maneuvered Blackjack toward the shore. I dismounted and left him to graze.

I walked to the edge of the lake and looked out at the water. It was clear with no wake upon the surface. Memories from childhood flooded my mind. It was here my Father taught me to fish. He loved the simple beauty of nature. How fragile and dependent it was on those things around it. I sat on the grass and removed my jacket and vest, before pulling off my boots and stockings. I reached up to my neck and began loosening my neck cloth, after untangling it, I opened my shirt exposing my chest. Though warm, the air felt good upon my bare skin. I stood and walked toward the water, stepping in to test the temperature. I was pleased with how refreshing it felt on my feet. Taking a deep breath, I dove into the water. The chilled water hit my body and I was momentarily taken aback. Righting myself, I reached forward and pulled my arms back propelling myself forward. Looking around I saw the marine life swimming away hastily. If I wasn't underwater I would have laughed. Soon, I came up for air, the water had cooled my body considerably. Knowing I had little time to spare, I swam back to shore.

My breaches and shirt were soaked and clung to my body, I was just thankful my boots and stockings were dry. I decided to forgo the neck cloth, the state of my shirt would not have allowed it even if I had wished to put it back on.

I remounted Blackjack who seemed put out when I tore him away from the grass he was eating. I soothed him with the promise of oats when we arrived. I approached the stables and slowed Blackjack to a walk. A stable boy noticing his master had returned rush out to assist me.

I dismounted and handed him the reins.

"Sir? We did not expect you until tomorrow. Be sure to take care entering the house, I believe there were visitors viewing the house earlier."

"Oh?" I had no desire to entertain visitors especially in my current state of dress. "I will go in through the back, thank you."

He smiled, and I walked out of the stable toward the back entrance to the house. Walking through my mother's iris garden, I noticed the flowers were all in full bloom, each a brilliant hue of purple, white and blue. A blanket of ivy lined the outer walls of the garden.

I was about to turn the corner, which would take me to the back entrance, when I heard the unmistakable crunch of gravel.

I froze, the visitors were probably viewing the garden. Perhaps if I backed up and went another way, I could avoid them.

I stood rooted to my spot when a woman rounded the corner. She was looking at the flowers, when she turned her head, her eyes locked with mine.

My world stopped when she whispered,

"Mr. Masen."


	21. Discovery

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

_

* * *

_

"Mr. Masen..."

Her voice was no more than a whisper, and I could scarcely wrap my head around what I was seeing. Was this another drink induced hallucination?

_Isabella? My Isabella was here... at_ _Pemberley. Right in front of me._

I focused on the woman before me. She looked like Isabella, her familiar soft hair blew gently in the breeze. Even her dress was one I recognized; it was the yellow one I was so fond of, which she wore during one of our earlier meetings. But this would not be the first time I had dreamt of her here, only to awaken alone and bereft.

She was breathing heavily; her expression was a mixture of embarrassment and shock.

_Strange, the Isabella from my dreams was always confident and playful. Say something, man! You look like a damn fool!_

"Isa... Miss Isabella. I..."

"Sir? We were told you were not to... return until tomorrow. If we had known we would never have dreamt of invading your privacy."

Isabella's gaze descended, her stare fixed on my inappropriate appearance. My breathing increased as her long fixed stare left a trail of fire as she slowly took in my body. Finally reaching my face, her cheeks burned as she realized she had been openly staring. Not that I minded in the least, of course.

Turning her head slightly, subtly looking in the direction of the entrance; her body language spoke volumes, she was ready to run.

I needed to calm her, I couldn't afford to waste this opportunity. "I returned a day early, it seems urgent business called me home ahead of the rest of the party." My voice shook only slightly, for which I was grateful.

She looked positively mortified. "The rest if your party?" she questioned.

"Yes, I believe you know them, Mr. McCarty and his sisters," I explained.

I took a step forward, my hand reaching out to her.

Her eyes widened and she took a slight step back. "I'm very sorry Mr. Masen, please excuse me." She turned and ran toward the entrance to the outer garden.

I stood there, dumbfounded. What had just happened? I turned to look in the direction she was running, but it was apparent she had no idea where she was going. What was painfully obvious was that she was trying to get as far from me as she could. This was not going as well as I had hoped.

But what did I really have any right to hope for? Love was impossible, perhaps friendship? I grasped my chest where my heart constricted painfully. No, I wanted so much more, but knew it was foolish to desire something I could never have.

I needed to find her, before she became lost in the garden maze. I turned and walked in the direction she had gone, being a tall man my stride was longer than most enabling me to catch up to her quickly. I saw Isabella, just as she pasted the archway to the outer gardens. I quickened my pace, needing to catch her before she reached the first fork in the maze.

My hand took hold of her arm and she stopped, but did not turn. I allowed her a moment to catch her breath, and mine as well. Releasing her from my grasp, I waited for her to turn around.

She turned slowly, her head bent toward the ground. When she finally faced me the expression she wore was not what I was expecting. I was prepared for an angry rebuke for the liberties I had just taken, I steeled myself for her assault, but what I saw took the breath from my body.

Isabella looked utterly terrified.

"Mr. Masen... I had no idea, please believe me. If we had known I assure you we never would have come," she pleaded for me to understand.

_She never would have come? Did she think I would throw her from my house? I wanted nothing more than to keep her here with me forever._

But did she know this?

I smiled in the hopes of reassuring her I was indeed happy to see her. "How long have you been in the area, Miss Isabella?"

Her eyebrows furrowed, obviously not expecting that, "About two days sir, I am traveling with my Aunt and Uncle," she trailed off.

_That must be the other visitors._ _Did she not want me to meet them?_ Though I could scarcely blame her, after the way I treated her and the rest of her family.

"And has your trip been enjoyable thus far?" This seemed like a neutral topic.

"Very much sir. Tomorrow we go to Matlock." She looked away again in embarrassment.

_Tomorrow? No... I needed more time. _

"And where are you staying?" O_h Lord, should I have asked that?_

The corner of her lip moved up slightly, "At the Inn at Lambton."

"Oh yes, of course." _Idiot there was only one Inn in Lambton._

Why did I find talking to Isabella so difficult? I sounded like an uneducated imbecile. No wonder she had run earlier.

The sun peaked out from behind the clouds and bathed us in sunlight. I looked into her eyes, hoping to convey to her all I felt but was unable to express in words. The warm light brought out the warm tones in her hair; I was mesmerized by how truly beautiful Isabella was. This was not the first time I had admired her beauty, but somehow every part of her came together to form the perfect woman who transcended all others in my eyes.

She was looking at me with a more alarming look of shock, and I wondered if I had over stepped my bounds.

Then I realized I was still in just a shirt and trousers, which were still very much wet. Not to mention the reaction to my thoughts was showing rather prominently.

"Feel free to tour the rest of the grounds, please excuse me." I hurried away before she noticed.

I all but ran, through the back door and into the main hall, making Mrs. Cope jump at my sudden appearance.

"Mr. Masen! I did not expect you until tomorrow," she responded, obviously caught off guard.

I had no time for explanations. "How long until hot water can be brought up?"

"It would take a quarter hour for hot water, five for warm." She answered but looked puzzled by my request.

"Warm then please, I need to make myself presentable to receive the visitors."

Confused she replied, "I have already dealt with the visitors sir, you need not trouble yourself on their account."

I rounded on her, "What do you mean you _dealt_ with them?" My voice was tight.

She looked taken aback, "I showed them the public rooms, just like I would any visitor that comes to the house." She stopped, and then apologized. "I am sorry sir if I offended you," she finished quietly.

I let out a deep breath. "Mrs. Cope, I trust you implicitly with the welfare of Pemberley, I suppose I am tired and overreacted. Please forgive me."

She shook her head, "Oh, darling boy, I could never be angry with you; the young lady did claim a slight acquaintance." My heart soared, she had acknowledged knowing me. This was a very good sign.

"Yes, that is true. Thank you, Mrs. Cope. I need to make haste before they leave."

I ran up the stairs taking them two at a time. Forgoing any ceremony, I quickly disregarded my wet garments just in time for warm water to be brought in. I washed quickly, and donned clean dry clothes. Having little experience in dressing myself, the process was awkward and took longer than I would have liked. Ten minutes later I was running down the stairs again toward the gardens. I begun looking in the direction she had been, but they had since moved on. I ran toward their carriage, to find Isabella walking as fast as her legs could go in a lady-like manner. The couple trailing behind her failing to match her determined speed. Desperate in my need to head her off, I caught up with her quickly.

"Miss Isabella, please forgive me for not receiving you properly just now, you are not leaving?"

"We were sir, I believe that is best." Shame colored her cheeks as she tried to control the mortification she was feeling.

I understood why she felt the way she did, but I didn't care. I was desperate to know what she thought of Pemberley.

"Would you do me the honor of introducing me to your friends?"

She raised her eyebrow questioning me, then turning in the direction of the couple, she smiled. "Mr. Masen, may I introduce my Aunt and Uncle from Cheapside, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen."

Ah, I now understood her gesture. These were the people I had used in my derision of her family. But they were not anything like her relatives from Meryton. This couple could easily move in my circle.

I walked over and took the gentleman's outstretched hand. "It is a pleasure to welcome you to Pemberley."

"Why thank you, Sir. My wife wanted to see your house having grown up not far from here and having heard so much about it."

"Oh?" I directed my question to Mrs. Cullen. She smiled warmly, "I grew up in Lambton, Sir."

I smiled. "Delightful village, I used to run back and forth during the harvest season. I remember there was one particular shop which sold to best tarts I had ever eaten."

"I know that shop, it was right next to the smithy," she responded with excitement.

I smiled at the memories. "Yes, the very one."

I turned my attention back to Mr. Cullen. "Do you care for fishing sir?"

He smiled, "Indeed I do sir, though I rarely get the opportunity in London."

I laughed in agreement, "Yes, London for all its various activities lacks what I consider to be vital." I looked at Isabella. "Fresh air and beautiful... walks."

I watched her face expecting her to be embarrassed, instead the corner of her lip and eyebrow rose ever so slightly.

_She was either amused or challenging me._

I was too unsure of myself at this point to test my theory, I chose a safer route instead.

"You are welcome to fish in my trout stream, or the lake is generously stocked if you prefer. I would be happy to provide the rods and tackle."

"Thank you sir, I would be delighted." He was trying hard to contain his excitement, I was relieved.

"Let us walk down now."

I motioned for them to follow and began to walk in the direction of the lake. Mr. Cullen walked with me while Isabella and her aunt followed further back. I needed to speak with her, I knew the likelihood we would be alone again was slim, but what I needed to tell her was best done in private.

The lake was not far from where we were. I wished it had been further, I wanted to prolong their visit as long as possible. I pointed out the various choice spots for fishing, Mr. Cullen was a genuine man who was both intelligent and proper. I cringed, as I thought of how unfair I had been to Isabella's family.

"Uncle, Aunt is very tired and needs your assistance." We both turned and Mr. Cullen immediately excused himself to go to his wife's side.

Isabella walked toward me.

"Thank you, sir." She smiled sincerely. "I don't think you realize just how happy you have made him." She sighed heavily, "He has been so gracious on this trip to entertain two ladies with no thought of his own amusement." She paused, "Thank you, Mr. Masen." The gratitude in her eyes rendered me speechless. Such a little thing, yet she was as happy and sincere as if I had offered her a priceless treasure.

Extraordinary was the only way I could describe her.

"Would you permit me... what I mean is, would you allow me to introduce my sister to you during your stay at Lambton?"

"Of course, I would love to make Miss Masen's acquaintance." She seemed troubled. "I do not want to interfere with your plans nor intrude. You have no doubt made commitments with your other guests."

_Other guests? Ah, yes, The Harpy. _

"I assure you, my sister will be delighted. My purpose in this visit was to bring Alice home, all other commitments mean _nothing_."

She seemed placated, "Very well, Mr. Masen."

Conversation seemed to ebb and though I was loathed to let her go, I knew it was time. Her Aunt seemed particularly fatigued, so we began walking in the direction of the house. Isabella and I found ourselves at the house well ahead of her Aunt and Uncle. We stood in awkward silence, unsure what to say. I finally decided neutral topics would be best. I asked her about her trip thus far and how she liked it. Her expressions became animated, as she described the various sites they had been to. I was unsurprised by most, they were considered important stops when visiting this region; however, it was her favorite that made my heart pound uncontrollably.

"We came to a point on the side of the rode on our journey here, it was a cliff overlooking a vast valley. Although my Aunt and Uncle were not pleased with me standing so near the edge, I couldn't help it. The sheer allurement of the landscape coupled with the wild untamed beauty of the peaks bade me stay."

She paused for a moment closing her eyes, and breathed in slowly. "I never imagined such a place existed."

I fought with every ounce of strength I possessed not to reach out and pull her into my embrace. I ached to touch her.

"I stood on the edge and couldn't grasp everything I saw. The wind was whipping through my hair and dress, the feeling was both peaceful and exhilarating. I can't explain it, but there was something that drew me to that spot. It was as if I had been there before… in a dream."

I tried to gain control over my emotions, before I choked out a question that made me seem like an irrational love sick fool.

"Where was this exactly?" I had a very good idea, but needed her to confirm it for me.

"On the rode to Pemberley, I would guess not more than a few miles."

She had found her way to one of my favorite escapes, the only other would be my meadow. Could I take her there? The only other who had seen it was Alice. "I am very thrilled you found it so extraordinary, you see it is a special place to me as well. I visit it often when I need a respite from the turmoil in my life. I hope it was able to do the same for you."

Her eyes softened, as if she understood. "Yes, I dare say it did."

I took a small step forward and hesitantly brought my hand out, she responded by lifting her hand to meet mine. I lifted it carefully to my lips and placed a kiss on her gloved hand. Though my lips lingered it was over quickly and I returned her hand.

"I am elated, madam."

I looked into her eyes, frustrated by my need to do things right this time. While my mind said it would be wise to go slowly, my heart screamed for me to gather her into my arms. I wanted to show her just how passionately I needed her. I wanted to drop down on my knees and beg her to give me another chance to prove my love for her.

"Well, you young people certainly left us old ones behind."

Isabella looked away and stepped back, putting more space between us. I had not realized just how close we were.

"I am sorry Uncle, are you alright Aunt?"

She dismissed her with a wave. "I will be. All I need is some rest."

"Can I interest you in some refreshments? You are welcome to come inside until you are properly rested." I asked hopeful she could stay longer.

But my hopes were dashed quickly.

"We couldn't possibly trespass on your time any longer, thank you for your kind invitation to my Uncle."

I looked at her with a confused expression. Had I only imagined the reaction we both had only a moment ago?

"Mr. Masen, my aunt is very tired and I believe requires a place to lie down, but thank you for your kind invitation."

She did feel it! My smile was immense, as were my hopes for the first time since Kent. I would do whatever was necessary to show her I was a different man.

"I dare say we have had our fill of sights and beautiful landscapes to satisfy even the most avid enthusiast. I can say with certainty my wife is correct in saying this is the best of all counties, and it seems that Isabella agrees as well. How did you put it my dear? Oh yes…what are men compared to rocks and mountains," he chuckled.

"Uncle!" Isabella was mortified beyond words. But I found it endearing that she loved Derbyshire so much.

Mr. Cullen was helping his wife into the carriage, and Isabella stood in silence, her hands I noticed were clasped together nervously. When her aunt was situated I took the liberty of handing her into the carriage, letting my hand linger as long as I could.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, Miss Isabella, it has been a pleasure. You are welcome anytime to Pemberley."

"Thank you Mr. Masen, you have been most generous." Mr. Cullen replied warmly, and then motioned to the driver. "Drive on."

The carriage jerked forward and began moving away. Isabella was facing away from me, but I watched regardless as the carriage drove away. As they neared the first turn she looked back at me. I saw several emotions on her face, but one in particular almost brought me to my knees

Longing.

I would hold on to that, it would see me through until I was surer of my standing. Because, Lord knows, Isabella Swan had bewitched me. Body and soul.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

Business with my steward was concluded quickly. There had been a dispute between tenants that could only be resolved with my approval, as it involved the moving of land boundaries. I was grateful it was not a more time consuming matter since my mind was decidedly elsewhere.

Was it fate that led Isabella and I to meet? The odds were not favorable that we would ever meet again in the future unless I sought her out.

Fate or coincidence? I didn't care, I would take it.

I walked to my chambers eager to be in my bed once more. I laid there for hours contemplating our meeting, every glance, every word. Finally, sleep came and I was sure of one thing, Isabella was worth every sacrifice, and I would do whatever it took to make myself worthy of her.

I woke early as the summer sun peaked through the heavy curtains. During my fitful sleep I had come up with several options which could allow myself more time with Isabella. Alice, however, was the key and although I was sure she would have no trouble helping me, I had the problem of The Harpy to deal with.

I have never regretted anything more than extending _her _an invitation to my home.

I breakfasted and went over the living arrangements with Mrs. Cope. The guest rooms were located in the opposite wing from the family quarters. I usually never bothered with arranging where the guests were to sleep, but this time was another matter. I wanted _her_ as far away from me as possible. I also felt it would be necessary to inform my staff of what they could expect. Mrs. Cope shook her head and chuckled. "So lets see if I understand everything, you have invited your friend Mr. McCarty and his sisters both of which you cannot stand. One of which has fanciful notions she will be mistress of this place?" She clucked her tongue, "You realize you have only given her more reason to expect something now. I'm afraid you may have made things worse."

I groaned and covered my face, "I am aware of that, but I needed to help my friend."

She studied my face and then shook her head, "Always did give more of yourself than was necessary. You're generous to a fault sometimes." She looked away, "Your parents would be very proud of the man you've become, Master Edward."

She stood and left me alone with my thoughts. Not long ago I would have smiled and been very proud of such praise but now, I was able to see all the mistakes in my character. I was sure my parents would be both proud and extremely disappointed.

I looked at the clock, Alice would be arriving soon baring any more unforeseen problems. I wondered how soon I could arrange a visit to Lambton without seeming too eager. Would Isabella be offended if we came this morning?

I felt a sudden rush of excitement at the possibility of seeing her so soon. I only hoped Alice would be up for the outing. I knew she would be excited to meet Isabella regardless, and would do anything to make me happy. But was I asking too much of her?

I got up and wandered into the music room, there underneath a white sheet lay her birthday gift. I carefully lifted the sheet and peered at the instrument underneath. I had commissioned it especially for her, the intricate rose inlay represented her favorite flower, and the dark mahogany finish was better than I could have imagined. Before having it shipped to Pemberley, I listened as the craftsman tuned and played the piano. The sound was perfect, exquisitely deep and rich. Imagining her delight as her fingers danced up and down the keys brought a tear to my eye. She deserved so much, and I would give her anything.

I realized that I felt much the same for Isabella. I was willing to give her not only all my earthly possessions but my heart as well. I would do anything for her.

I heard the unmistakable sound of an approaching carriage.

They were here. I rushed out of the music room and toward the main doors. The excitement of introducing Alice to Isabella overruled all thought of propriety. The servants had gathered out front to greet and help situate the guests. I walked outside as the carriage stopped, in my excitement opened the door, helping my sister down.

I embraced her. "Welcome home, Alice,"

We broke apart, and she eyed me curiously. "Edward, what has gotten into you? You are positively beaming." And in a low voice, "If you tell me it's because of that, that woman, I will disown you," she threatened.

I laughed and picked her up swinging her in a circle, "No my dear, but I have two very special surprises for you. But first, I would like you to go and change then come find me, quickly."

She smiled playfully and rushed inside.

I turned to see Emmett staring at me dumbfounded. "Edward, are you feeling well? You seem… happy?" I barked out a laugh at his statement, "True my friend, it is good to be home, that is all." He laughed as well, it was nice to see him smile again.

"Well, if that's the case I need to find myself a home immediately!" his smile fell flat as, no doubt, he was remembering that while he did have a home, he no longer felt welcome there.

All because of my foolish interference.

I grasped his shoulder, "Come Emmett, let's go inside and you can tell me of the journey."

We laughed and joked, as he told me his sisters had left a full hour behind them. The delay he was told was due to Mrs. Crowley feeling unwell, but Emmett was inclined to believe it was all Tanya wanting to make a grand entrance to Pemberley. This day was getting better and better.

Imagining The Harpy pulling into Pemberley only to find no one to greet her would no doubt be a spectacle.

"Edward," Alice appeared, and I turned to Emmett, "Thank you for escorting her Emmett, now of you will excuse us, I need to show my sister her surprises."

He gave a small laugh, "It was my pleasure, I will just go upstairs and wash away the dirt from the road."

I turned back to Alice and took her arm directing her toward the music room. "So my dear, are you ready for your surprise?"

"Edward, what have you done?" she protested.

"Now, now, none of that," I walked her toward the covered instrument. "It's not everyday a young lady turns eighteen."

I grabbed the cover and pulled it from the Piano. She gasped, "Oh Edward, it's beautiful!" She stepped toward it and placed her hands on the wood, noticing the inlay she ran her fingers gently across the carving. She turned back towards me, tears in her eyes.

"I don't deserve this Edward, I don't deserve you." She ran into my waiting arms and I held her tightly. "Shh, my dear. You deserve so much more."

She pulled back and dried her eyes, "So what is my other surprise?"

I laughed, "Bored with the first already?" I teased. "How would you like to meet Miss Isabella?"

"Truly?" Her eyes lit with excitement. "I would love to brother, when? Is she close by?"

I chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Yes, she is touring the lakes with her Aunt and Uncle; they are staying at Lambton for a few days. I happened upon them yesterday while they were touring the grounds."

"Edward?" she looked concerned. "I am willing to wager that was a very uncomfortable experience for you."

"It was, but after the initial shock wore off I decided to make the most of it. I wanted to show her I had addressed her concerns and was actively trying to make myself a better man."

Alice shook her head, "Edward, you really are to hard on yourself. I feel people's misperceptions of you come from that fact they don't know the _real_ you. Since Father died you have put up a stoic front to shield yourself from others."

I was amazed again at how my sister was able to see straight through me. "True, but in my defense, I have never been overly warm to false fawning and pretences."

She giggled, "Yes, I do remember some interesting encounters over the years."

I feigned hurt, "Alright, if you want we can stay here and reminisce about my run-ins with desperate debutantes, or we can visit Miss Isabella."

"Miss Isabella?" We bother turned to see a very stunned Emmett. "Is she here?"

"Yes, she is touring the lakes with her Aunt and Uncle, they are staying in town. I was going to introduce Alice." I could see the confusion, "I wanted to introduce them under a less formal setting and without the interference of certain people."

Comprehension lit his face, "Yes, that would be awkward," he paused a moment, "Would you mind terribly if accompanied you? I would very much like to see Miss Isabella again."

He stood nervously awaiting my answer. "Of course, are you ready to depart? I'm afraid I would like to be gone before the rest of the party arrives."

Emmett winked conspiratorially, "Yes that would be best."

We walked to the waiting carriage and drove toward Lambton. Though the journey was short, I felt the panic set in.

What if she felt I was being too presumptuous? What if I had misread her yesterday and she was just being overly polite.

It was possible, I had grossly misread her before.

What if... "Edward, stop. Everything will be fine." Alice whispered, while put a comforting hand in mine.

I gave her a small smile in return and looked out at the trees. Nothing truly worthwhile came without a price.

And earning Isabella's love was worth everything I had.


	22. Whispers of Hope

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

The carriage arrived at the Inn, and we were met by a very polite and anxious innkeeper. "Good afternoon, sir," he said as he opened the door.

"A good afternoon to you, Mr. Waylon." I smiled. Mr. Waylon had owned this inn since before I was born. My father had always spoken highly of his generosity. "I trust everything is well with you and your family?"

"It is sir, thank you for thinking of us. To what do I owe the honor of this visit?"

"We have come to pay a visit to an acquaintance of mine staying here with, a Mr. and Mrs. Cullen." I replied.

"Ah yes, I believe they have gone out, but the young lady traveling with them stayed behind."

I was elated by the fact that fate was seeing to it that this visit was successful, no impediments were hindering us. I just hoped Isabella was as happy as I.

"If you please, sir, follow me to the private dining area. I will send Sarah to find Miss Swan."

Emmett lingered behind, "Edward, if you don't mind, I want to be sure Miss Isabella is comfortable before I make my presence known. She can't be overly thrilled to see me after the way I departed Hertfordshire, but I would like to see her none the less."

I frowned as I thought of his misplaced fear, he shouldn't feel guilty over something that was not all his doing.

"Of course, Emmett, I will let her know you wish to see her and leave the choice to her."

He gave me a small smile, "Thank you, Edward."

Alice pulled on my arm, and we followed the direction Mr. Waylon had gone. "Edward, why was Mr. McCarty so hesitant to meet with Miss Isabella? I understood it was her sister he had been interested in."

I sighed heavily, "It was because of the way he left. He feels the family is angry with him, and although I know Miss Isabella is not, I can't tell him that without raising more questions," I whispered.

We reached the room, and Mr. Waylon left to find Sarah and see what was taking so long. Alice said nothing further, but seemed lost in thought.

The door opened and Isabella walked through. She seemed to be surprised, but the smile on her face told me she was genuinely happy to see us.

"Mr. Masen, I did not expect to see you again so soon."

"I am sorry if we have come at a bad time, but we were anxious to meet as soon as possible."

She raised her eyebrow in question, but seemed to let it pass.

"Miss Isabella, may I introduce my sister to you?" She nodded, and I turned and motioned for Alice to step forward, "Miss Isabella, this is my sister, Miss Alice Masen."

I moved from their path to allow them the space to make introductions. I watched as Isabella approached a very timid Alice. I knew the moment she began asking her about music that Isabella was perfect for not only me, but our family. She seemed to pick up that Alice was very shy with strangers and attempted to draw her out with comfortable topics. The conversation seemed to flow, and I was reminded that Emmett was waiting downstairs in the carriage.

"Miss Isabella, Mr. McCarty has also accompanied us and is very desirous of seeing you as well. In fact, he insisted upon accompanying us. May I summon him?"

Her eyes lit up, "Of course, I should be very happy to see him again."

I bowed and went in search of Emmett, who no doubt was getting more agitated by the second. When I reached the carriage he was nervously twisting his gloves.

"Will she see me?" he asked in a cautious tone.

"Of course, Emmett, she said she would be delighted."

He dropped the gloves, "Really?" He looked excited and hopeful.

I chuckled, "Yes, now come with me, unless you feel the need to inflict more pain on those gloves of yours."

We walked into the room to find the two women talking and laughing as if they were old friends. My smile grew, as I thought of how good Isabella would be for Alice. From what I had seen, she was fiercely protective of those she loved, and her merits showed me time and again that she would make an excellent friend to my sister.

"Miss Isabella, I was so happy to hear you were so close to Pemberley." Emmett looked excited it seemed when she smiled at him, all fear and hesitation left.

"Mr. McCarty, it is so good to see you again," she responded warmly.

"Yes, it's been too long, since I have had the pleasure of speaking to you."

She smiled a tight smile, "It has been several months at least."

"It has, we haven't spoken since the twenty-seventh of November, when we danced at Netherfield." He paused for a moment. "You know, I cannot remember a happier time than those short months I spent in Hertfordshire."

Alice walked toward me, seeking to give them some privacy.

"Edward, I would like to invite Miss Isabella and her Aunt and Uncle to dine with us at Pemberley, would that be agreeable with you?"

She looked determined yet wary, no doubt unsure of herself as a host. I, however, was thrilled she was making the effort to try.

"Of course, Alice." I smiled, and she seemed to garner whatever courage she needed.

Turning toward Isabella and Emmett, she stepped forward. "Miss Isabella, my brother and I would be honored if you, and your Aunt and Uncle, would be our guests at Pemberley for dinner. Would tomorrow evening be convenient?"

"Of course, Miss Masen, and I can answer for Mr. and Mrs. Cullen; we have no prior engagements."

The smiles between both women gave me a stirring of warmth I had not felt in a long time. I thought of my mother, and how she would be so proud of the woman Alice was becoming. I had no doubt Isabella was the key to helping her achieve that.

"Excellent." Emmett exclaimed.

I looked at her, "Thank you for letting us intrude on your morning, we will meet again tomorrow evening?"

I waited for her to speak, but she just nodded, still looking at me.

Emmett and Alice both began walking toward the door. I looked away for a moment, but then looked back before leaving.

She had turned away busying herself with her gloves.

"Thank you," I replied simply, and she looked back up at me. Her eyes told me she knew why I was thanking her.

I turned and walked through the door before I said, or did anything that would ruin the fragile beginning we were making.

The ride back was mostly silent. It seemed everyone had their own thoughts on what had passed. It was a nice respite to relax and not be forced into conversation, which would have been expected with other company. But Alice and Emmett knew me well, and so they let me be.

As we pulled up to Pemberley, I was so immersed in my thoughts that I failed to notice another carriage parked and being unloaded. It wasn't until we had exited the carriage and made our way up the steps that I realized something was wrong.

We were immediately assaulted by a noxious perfume and an impatient, irate, Harpy.

"Emmett!" She cried. "You cannot imagine our distress arriving only to find you had all gone!" She shrieked. "What could possibly be so pressing to take you all away so soon after arriving?" Her eyes were wild; she looked crazed.

"Tanya, will you calm down? You are getting worked up over nothing." Emmett attempted to calm her, but it only incited her more.

"No, I will not calm down. You should have been here to welcome me; I should not have to arrive at Pemberley only to be greeted by the_ staff_." She was being as petulant as a child.

"I won't tolerate you berating your hosts, Tanya, they had business in Lambton, and you have no right to pester them with questions. Go upstairs and lie down before you seize yourself." She glared at him spitefully.

I concluded the only reason she was upset was because I was not here when she arrived. I knew it was wrong to further provoke her, but I couldn't help myself.

The reward was just too temping, knowing she would rise to the occasion.

"We were in Lambton paying a visit to Miss Isabella. I wanted to introduce my sister to her during her stay." I finished with calm indifference.

It was amusing to watch as all the pieces fell into place, and comprehension dawned on her visage. Her insincere outrage melted away to leave a bitter, ill concealed hatred. I knew this was necessary, I didn't want to have Isabella or her family mistreated in anyway, so ample warning was in order.

"I have invited her, and her Aunt and Uncle, to spend some time at Pemberley, so you will have a chance to renew your acquaintance then. As any guest of mine, they _will_ be treated with respect."

The simpering mask she so often wore fell, and her eyes hardened as her lips went into a sneer.

I was tempted to smirk at her but thought better of it.

"Oh, Miss McCarty, I am sure you are as excited as I am, having already met her. Miss Isabella is delightful, and I am looking forward to getting to know her better." She turned to me and winked. "Brother, I'm tired. I think I will go lie down awhile." She kissed my cheek and walked away.

Not wanting to be in the presence of The Harpy for another moment, I excused myself as well. I made it to my study, and it was not long before someone knocked on my door.

"Come in." My tone was hesitant, praying it was not who I feared I might be.

"Mr. Masen, might I have a word?" Mrs. Cope appeared in the doorway.

I smiled in relief, "Please, come and sit down." I motioned to the chair opposite mine.

"Thank you, Sir. I apologize for interrupting you but, Sir, you need to do something about that woman, and soon."

Mrs. Cope, for as long as I can remember, was a very patient and tolerant woman, the only other person that had caused her to lose her composure this quickly was Wickham.

I sighed heavily, "What has she done?"

She scoffed, "What hasn't she done? She has only been here a few hours and already is ordering around the staff like she owns the place. She threw an absolute tantrum when she learned you were out, and then when we showed her to her chambers, she demanded to be moved to the family wing." She paused to take a breath. "And..."

"Wait there's more?" I ask incredulously.

"You seem to underestimate this woman's infatuation with you and this house, Master Edward, and that is a very foolish and dangerous mistake to make."

"Mrs. Cope, I have never given her any reason to expect anything from me. In fact, the only time I am in her presence is when I am with her brother."

"Ah, but you see son, she doesn't believe it. A woman, who is prowling back and forth in front of the window waiting for your return, is not a woman who thinks she has no chance."

She began waving her finger at me. "She looked like a cage animal the way she was pacing back and forth. I'm telling you for your own good, she is nothing but trouble and I wouldn't trust her one bit."

I chuckled lightly, "You always were fiercely protective of us," I paused before adding "I promise to be cautious."

She eyed me carefully, "You know I only want to help."

"I know, thank you."

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

_I walked down the steps with a curiosity__I couldn't ignore. The incessant laughter of two women echoed down the halls._

_What was going on?_

_I couldn't see them, although I looked everywhere, was I going mad?_ _I saw candles flickering in the music room and walked toward them._ _As I neared, the laughter became louder, and I was able to recognize one of the women was Alice._

_When I came to the door, I pushed it open slowly._ _There, by the piano, stood Alice, Isabella was seated at the instrument. Both were talking and laughing._ _I was so entranced by the scene before me; it made me feel like Pemberley was a home again for the first time in many years._

_I memorized their faces, the happiness that radiated from both was captivating. _

_Isabella looked over at me and smiled brightly._

"_Edward..._ "

The dreams were back and they were more vivid than before. I held my head trying to hold onto her sweet face. That Isabella and my sister got on well, I had no doubt. Alice seemed quite taken with her. She cornered me after dinner and asked me if it would be possible to see her sooner.

I chuckled at the memory.

Mr. Cullen was coming to fish this morning, and I had extended Isabella, and her Aunt, an invitation as well. Alice had been delighted when I told her, though a little vexed that I had kept her in suspense for so long.

_"Edward, do you think I will be able to entertain all these ladies? I have never played hostess to more than just family." Her eyes were wide with fear as she no doubt saw all the possibility of failure._

_"Alice, I have complete faith in you," I reassured her._

_"Would you mind terribly making a short appearance later? I'm just so nervous."_

_Though I knew Alice would be fine, it would be the perfect excuse to see Isabella. "Of course my darling, though I know all will be well."_

I dressed and prepared to meet Mr. Cullen in the courtyard, I was unsure if the ladies would accompany him this early in the morning. Mr. Cullen arrived promptly, and I directed him to where the rods and tackle had been assembled for our use.

"Good morning Mr. Masen," he greeted me. "It's a beautiful morning for fishing; I would like to thank you again for being so generous."

I shook me head, "I am delighted sir, it is not often I find another angler as enthusiastic as myself." I paused wondering if I should ask what I so desperately wanted to know. "Did the ladies accompany you this morning?" I tried to conceal my enthusiasm.

His lip curved up in a knowing smile, damn I was not as subtle as I would have wished. "I prefer the biting we encounter this morning to only be from the fish, so I left them to their slumber," he concluded with a chuckle.

I had to laugh as well, it seemed an absurd comment, but Mr. Cullen knew his wife and niece better than I.

"Will the ladies be arriving later then? I know Alice is very excited to better her acquaintance with Miss Isabella."

"Isabella was very taken with your sister, it seems she is just as excited for today's visit."

I was elated with this news, I knew that Mr. Cullen would not offer this information out of sheer politeness.

"Shall we see if the fish are biting this morning then?" He nodded and laughed.

We sat by the lake, Mr. Cullen had decided upon bait fishing not wanting to waste time traveling to the stream. I told him he was welcome to come back anytime to fish the trout stream. I secretly hoped there would be many opportunities in the future, because this would mean his niece would be a more significant part of my life.

It seemed more of a time for reflection than talking. Mr. Cullen reminded me very much of my own father.

I glanced around and realized it was already mid-morning, Isabella would surely be at the house by now. As if he sensed my thoughts, "I believe the ladies would have arrived by now." He said simply.

"Yes," I agreed. And we lapsed into another stretch of comfortable silence.

After another lapse I was becoming increasingly anxious to see how things were progressing at the house. I had no doubt Alice, Isabella and Mrs. Cullen would get on well, it was the other woman of the party which worried me. I must have seemed tense because Mr. Cullen put down his rod and cleared his throat.

"You seem tense and lost in thought, is there anything I can help you with?" His tone was light but there was a fatherly undertone. When I didn't respond right away he chuckled, "The fish can sense when people are upset, it scares them off."

I laughed a bit too loud, and was sure if there were any fish in the immediate area they were all gone now.

I hesitated before speaking but something about him said I could trust him. "I am only concerned about Alice… this is her first time being a hostess to other people besides family."

He looked out at the water for a moment, "Isabella said she seemed shy, but that really is to be expected in a girl her age." He picked up his rod and recast it into the water. "Although my wife and I were never able to have children, we always consider my nieces to be like our own. Isabella was very much like Alice when she was that age, though she would hide behind her books and tried to appear fiercer than she was, deep down she was afraid of disappointing her father."

He turned and looked at me, "Though I don't know you very well son, I wonder if your sister has those same fears, you are a brother and father to her. I commend you for what you have done, most young men your age would have gone a much easier route. But that also puts you in a very unique position, forgive me for being too personal but, even a full grown man trying to balance those two roles would find it to be extremely difficult." He turned back toward the lake, allowing me time to respond.

I was shocked by his perception of me. Although he had very little real experience with being a father, he seemed to have a wealth of knowledge, it made me miss my father's presence so much more. "I have only ever tried to do what I thought my parents would do, you are correct though, it is difficult, and I have often struggled to blend the two together." He stayed silent, only listening. "There have been many times I questioned myself, and whether I made the right choice. However, it always came back to me knowing my parents would have wanted us to be together. So, here I am trying to do what I can and hoping for the best."

Mr. Cullen chuckled, "I have no doubt, Mr. Masen, that you are." Pausing for a moment he opened his mouth to speak but shut it again quickly. Whatever he was going to say he thought better of it.

"Thank you," I replied sincerely.

"I promised Alice I would stop in and make sure everything was going well. Do you mind if I leave you to yourself? I do not mean to be such a discourteous host."

"Please, don't stay here on my account, I am amply able to amuse myself. This had been a wonderful diversion I could have scarcely imagined finding on this trip." He lifted his hand to mind, and I shook it. Then turned back and focused on his task.

I was nearly running as I made my way back to the house. The anticipation of seeing Isabella fueled my steps.

As I neared the house, I slowed to an acceptable pace. I needed to compose myself before seeing Isabella, she would no doubt see right through me.

The sitting room was not far from the music room, which afforded me a comfortable place in which to listen to the present conversation before making my presence known. I knew it would appear ridiculous to anyone who found me, but my curiosity got the best of me, and I was desperate to hear Isabella's unguarded words.

I smiled, as the unmistakable sound of laughter that floated from the room.

_They were enjoying themselves,_ I smiled at this thought.

As I listened to the conversation, I realized just how little my previous observations of Isabella had done her justice. They were discussing the new book of poetry Alice was currently engrossed with. Isabella seemed genuinely interested and was actively participating while letting Alice lead the conversation. In her own subtle way she was giving Alice the confidence to lead a conversation without apprehension.

Pemberley at one time had been a home, full of love and laughter, but after the death of my parents it became a shadow of its former self, a sepulcher for our family. The happiness had died with them.

The laughter which was so like my dream stirred hope in my chest I had dared not dreamt of happening here again.

I crept closer, desperate to hear every detail.

"I agree, I have been having discussions with Colonel Whitlock. He is gracious enough to tolerate my obsession."

"I am sure he is pleased to find you have such varied interests, poetry is a topic many people find a common interest."

I wished I could see their facial expressions; it would lend so much to the feelings behind the words.

"I understand you are fond of music and play very well."

"No, not very well, but I am very fond of music. I should dearly love to hear you play and sing, my brother has told me he has rarely heard anything that gave him more pleasure."

I groaned allowed, "Alice"

"I assure you your brother has grossly exaggerated my talents. No doubt for some mischievous reason of his own."

"Oh, but that could not be true, Edward always tells the absolute truth."

"I am sure he was just being polite."

I wondered at why Isabella refused to believe my praise, although I never intended for Alice to slip about my confession, I did find her playing and voice to be exceptional.

"Miss Izabel, tell me, how is your family? Are your sisters as wild as ever?" The Harpy's voice was laced with false sincerity, as well as malice.

"My family is doing very well, Miss McCarty, thank you for asking. Victoria has been in Brighton these past weeks. Besides myself, the rest of the family remains at home."

Though it was her intent to injure Isabella, she did not succeed. I was excessively proud Isabella had not risen to the taught.

Not wanting Tanya to get another opportunity to belittle Isabella, I made my presence known.

"Good morning, Ladies." I directed my attention to the three sitting close, not even bothering to acknowledge the two shrews sitting on the opposite side of the room.

Alice's eye lit up immediately. "Edward, I thought you would be fishing." She had a knowing gleam in her eye; she knew I wouldn't be able to stay away.

"I was needed at the house for a moment and wanted to see how you ladies were faring."

Alice smiled, "That was very kind of you. Miss Isabella and her Aunt were just about to leave."

_Leave… now?_ "Please don't leave on my account." I looked at Isabella and tried to convince her to stay.

It was she who answered my silent question. "Although our visit has been wonderful, we must return if we are going to be available for dinner this evening. We wished to return Miss Masen's gracious visit from yesterday," she added with a bit of a twinkle in her eye. She was goading The Harpy, and I think I loved her all the more for it.

"That was very kind, allow me to escort you ladies to your carriage," I offered.

Alice smiled, and rose excitedly, she knew there was more to my offer. She was right, I wanted to spend as much time with Isabella as I could.

We walked out of the room after the ladies thanked Alice, and although they did not deserve the sentiments, Isabella thanked the McCarty sisters as well. Isabella's graciousness, even to those undeserving, was a rare quality. I tried to keep a steady but slow pace; wanting to prolong the time I had with her arm laced in mine. When she accepted my arm I was thrilled. The shock of her touch coursed up my arm, and sent my heart racing. Though she applied a small amount of pressure, it was enough. I knew that this time she held my arm because she wanted to, and not out of obligation. The carriage was waiting for the two women and I assisted them in.

As I was closing the door, I remembered her uncle, "Mr. Cullen seemed to be getting on well, and was very relaxed. It shouldn't be to long before he returns to you."

Isabella smiled, "Thank you, sir, I am sure he is."

As I turned to walk inside, Alice was looking at me carefully. "Edward, please be sure you know how Miss Isabella feels before you jump too quickly. I know you, and I don't want to see you hurt again. I have a feeling she cares for you, but please be careful."

I took her arm and patted her hand in comfort, "Alice, I know all to well the consequence of assuming where Miss Isabella is concerned. I never make the same mistake twice, I am hers until she orders me away."

"That I am sure won't happen." She stated matter-of-factly.

Her face suddenly lit up, "Edward! I have a request. I should very much like to take Miss Isabella on a tour of the grounds, she mentioned being able to ride, so I thought perhaps tomorrow. Her Aunt already mentioned that she did not ride, would you accompany us?"

I stood there, warmth encompassing my body as the possibilities ran though my head.

_Isabella would see my meadow. _

"I would love to accompany you, Alice. Nothing would give me more pleasure."

"Thank you, Edward!" She exclaimed, "I will ask her tonight at dinner."

I felt the excitement sweep though my body. I would be able to take her to a place only Alice had seen, the thought had me wishing time would speed up. We walked back into the house, and I could have sworn there was spring in my step.


	23. All I Need

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

_

* * *

_

_Can you still see the heart of me?_  
_All my agony fades away_  
_When you hold me in your embrace_

_Don't tear me down_  
_For all I need_  
_Make my heart a better place_  
_Give me something I can believe_  
_Don't tear it down_  
_What's left of me_  
_Make my heart a better place_

_All I need, Within Temptation_

_

* * *

_

The rest of the afternoon was spent in anticipation for the evening to come. I had seen Mr. Cullen home in my carriage, not wanting him inconvenienced in any way. When I arrived back at Pemberley, I went straight to work making preparations for tomorrows outing. I only wanted the party to consist of Alice and Isabella, as well as myself; the exclusion of the others would be difficult. Emmett was a fine rider, however his sisters were not. I expected Tanya would try and garner herself an invitation, which was largely why I was handling the details myself. Though I knew my staff was loyal, it would be easy for her to overhear a conversation and ruin the outing.

While I was in the midst of sorting out the details a knock came at the door. "Come in." I replied.

Emmett appeared in the doorway, his features were tense and anxious. "Edward, I apologize for disturbing you, but I needed to speak with you, if you have a moment."

"Please Emmett, sit down." He sat and I waited for him to begin.

"Edward, it has been no secret that I have been miserable these past months. I thought I would be able to move on but my feelings are just as strong as they were then. I feel as though I've made a grave mistake." He looked torn, as if he feared my disapproval.

I inhaled deeply and rested both of my hands on the desk in front of me. I knew I needed to have this conversation with Emmett, however I did not imagine it would be now. I didn't feel like I could divulge what Isabella had told me without her consent. Not to mention, perhaps her sister would want to inform Emmett herself. I decided to stay on more neutral ground.

"When is the lease up on the property at Netherfield?"

He looked surprised by my question, "I leased it for a year… why, do you think I should cancel it?"

I shook my head, "No, perhaps you might take another trip to see if it suits you better." I paused… "Without your sisters."

He was silent for a moment, clearly trying to rationalize how to pull off such an attempt.

"Emmett, maybe just a shooting party would give you the opportunity to visit but without the expectations that would accompany a larger party." I suggested, though as the idea formed, I realized I would be able to accompany him and see Isabella.

I admit I was selfish enough to be excited about this turn of events.

He smiled, "That is a brilliant idea, however, it will have to wait until the end of the summer as I am expected to be in Scarborough." I could see he was trying to contain his excitement but was hesitant.

"Edward, what if they feel I acted apart to Miss Swan? It is possible the people of Meryton will want nothing to do with me, not to mention Miss Swan herself."

"Emmett, I am sure they will welcome you back, you were not engaged." He blanched, and I realized he probably would have proposed the next day if we had not convinced him to leave.

"Emmett… I owe you an apology. No, I owe you much more than that. I should never have interfered. It was not my decision, and it was very wrong of me to council you in anyway other than to lend my support of whatever decision you deemed right. I am truly sorry."

He looked at me for a moment. "Edward, it was ultimately my decision. I am the one who was convinced she didn't care for me without ever asking her. I danced around the subject so many times afraid of being rejected. I have never met anyone who was able to so thoroughly captivate me, yet make me so unsure of myself." I raised my eyebrow.

I knew exactly what he meant, Isabella had done the same to me.

"And not in the way your thinking, most women are easy for me to read. I never knew what to expect with Miss Swan. She was quiet and would answer any question I asked but never offered much of herself. I wasn't sure if that was because she was shy, or because she never cared for me."

I wanted to interrupt but he held his hand up to stop me.

"You only saw what I saw, and when we found out she had been engaged previously I panicked. It was cowardly and cruel what I did to her. I only hope she can forgive me."

"I am sure she will, Emmett." I replied sincerely.

He scoffed, "How can you be so certain?" He eyed my cautiously, and I tried to conceal my emotions before he realizixed I may know more than I let on.

"It doesn't matter, I will see for myself." He got up to leave, "Thank you, Edward. You will accompany me won't you?"

"Of course, Emmett."

He smiled and walked from the room leaving me too bewildered to move.

I finished all the arrangements; the stable hands would prepare Alice and my horses, as well as the one I specifically asked for Isabella. I wasn't sure how much experience she had as a rider. Not wanting to risk her being injured, I refrained from putting her on a more spirited horse. The grounds of Pemberley were extensive and I wasn't sure how much we would be able to see.

The meadow was located on the east side of Pemberley, which fortuitously was where Alice thought we could begin. I wondered about her easy acceptance of Isabella, most of the woman vying for my attention Alice disliked.

I smiled as I thought of how easily they had conversed, Alice seemed as taken with Isabella as I.

"Here we are, Sir." My valet brought out my dinner jacket.

"Thank you." I dismissed him and made my way out of my dressing room into my bed chamber.

I wandered over to my desk, my mind reflecting on the past. I reached out and grasped a pewter coffer, the Masen crest was embossed in gold filigree on the top. I carefully lifted the lid and peered inside. The coffer contained jewelry passed from generation to generation. My father had added to the collection with pieces he'd commissioned for my mother. Several pieces had been set aside for Alice when she came of age, the rest were to go to my wife.

I reached in and withdrew a red satin bag. Carefully loosening the ribbon, I emptied the contents into my palm.

It was a tiny familiar object, my mothers ring.

I had not looked at it for quite sometime. Time had not tarnished the metal nor lessened the luster of the stones. The emerald had been in the Masen family for many years, my father had the stone reset for my mother. The setting was simple by the standards of the class in which we belonged.

My mother had loved it instantly.

I tried to envision how the ring would look on Isabella's finger. If I was ever so fortunate to place this on her finger she would never go a day without knowing just how deeply I loved her.

After returning the ring to the coffer, I made my way downstairs to await the arrival of Isabella and her family.

Panic coursed through me, as I realized she only had a few short days here before she moved on to the next destination of her journey. Would the next two days be enough time for me to show her the depths of my feelings and hopefully set her on a path to see me in a different light?

I hoped with everything I had that it might be so.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

Dinner was surprisingly pleasant. I wasn't sure if Emmett had anything to do with it, but the Harpy had not uttered a single word. Conversation flowed freely through a range of different topics. Isabella seemed comfortable unlike another dinner with much more dreary company.

Emmett looked more contented than I had seen him in months, I thought back to our conversation and smiled. I looked back at the guests and saw Isabella looking at me with a curious expression. I gave her a warm smile in return.

After dinner we moved into the music room, where Alice was able to play her new piano. Isabella had offered to help her turn the pages, which left me in the company of Mr. and Mrs. Cullen and Emmett, who was seated near. The other ladies and gentleman were seated on the far side. Mr. Crowley assumed his normal seat as close to the sprits as possible.

It made for more pleasant conversation.

Alice played very well; she seemed to be completely at ease despite having so many people in the room. Every once in a while she would steal a shy glance at me, seeking my approval. I always nodded and returned her smile.

After playing several of her favorites, Alice insisted upon Isabella playing. I heard a faint groan in the direction of The Harpy in which I turned and gave her a disapproving look.

_Manners and good breeding indeed, _I thought with disdain.

Oblivious to the rude interruption, Isabella was seated at the piano and began to play. I sat up and allowed the music to wash over me; I had begun to find a comfortable place when she began to sing. I had not thought this particular piece would involve singing, but I found myself once again entranced by her voice. The melody was an old Welch song, she was singing about a lost lover trying to find their way home. I broke my gaze from Isabella to look at Alice who was beaming with joy beside her. Her fingers at the ready to turn the pages.

Too soon the song ended, and Isabella ceded the piano back over to Alice. After picking a piece, Isabella began walking toward her Aunt. I looked at her longingly, though I knew it would probably make her uncomfortable.

"Miss Izabel." The Harpy sneered, and I was broken from my reverie.

"Are the militia still quartered at Meryton?" Her tone was condescending.

I was instantly leery at where she was going with this question.

"No, Miss McCarty, they are encamped at Brighton for the summer," she replied politely.

With a smirk, "That must be a great loss for your family."

Isabella faltered for only a moment, "I don't understand what you mean."

"I understood certain ladies, yourself included found the society of Mr. Wickham, curiously agreeable," she finished with a cruel smirk.

The moment Mr. Wickham's name was mentioned I broke my gaze to see a horrified expression on Alice's face.

_Damn that insufferable woman! She had gone __too far__ this time._

I rose to go to the aide of my sister, but was stopped by the cold voice of Isabella.

"I assure you, Madam, we are quite happy that the regiment was removed from Meryton. And those who pretended to be what they were not, removed with them," she stared at The Harpy with a look of cold disdain before walking back to the piano.

"I am so sorry Miss Masen, how are you to play with no one to turn the pages. Please, continue your beautiful song," she coaxed Alice out of her daze with warmth and sincerity.

A moment passed and she began to play once more.

Never had I thought Isabella more beautiful; never had I been so aware of the depth of my love for her than tonight. She had graciously handled the barbs flung at her, which were meant to injure her in my eyes.

Instead the insufferable woman had thrown Alice into a horrible state of agitation.

The thought of Isabella leaving after tomorrow was unbearable. Now that I had seen her again, had her in my home, I could not imagine being separated from her. I would be walking straight back into the living hell I had endured these past months.

Did I dare try again? Did I dare to ask her to marry me? Could I risk my heart once more, despite the fact that I had only been in her company a few days? Did I have the courage to take this last chance and try to make her mine?

My eyes moved in search of Isabella and I found myself unexpectedly meeting her questing gaze, that very intensity and directness that seemed so reminiscent of the way she looked at Rosings. Though, it was devoid of any hatred and contempt which had pierced my heart so painfully.

The hope it created took my breath away entirely.

Immediately self-conscious, she turned her eyes from mine, her skin flaming deeper in a mixture of embarrassment, recognition and apprehension. Little did she know her very presence had the power to completely overwhelm me.

Too soon the evening was over and I found myself again walking her to her carriage. Alice was on my left arm and Isabella on my right. Mr. Cullen helped his wife into the carriage, and I wished I could do something to prolong the moment.

"Miss Isabella, is tomorrow morning still convenient for our tour of the grounds?" Alice had moved toward Isabella.

"Of course, Miss Masen; I will be ready when you call. I confess though I do not have riding clothes."

"I am sure whatever you have will be fine. Edward chose the horse you are to ride himself, you will be in good hands."

Isabella turned to look at me, "Really?" she asked in disbelief.

"Of course, I was not aware of how skilled you were so I chose a less spirited mare."

"Thank you, Mr. Masen." she replied sincerely.

I assisted her into the carriage and again watched her drive away from my home.

Alice took my arm and we walked back into the house.

"Edward," she reached up kissing my cheek, "Thank you, she really is wonderful."

I smiled, "She is, isn't she?"

Alice giggled, "I am tired and will go to bed now. "Til tomorrow dear brother, sweet dreams."

I watched her turn and make her way up the stairs. I was riding such an impossible wave of happiness as I walked back into the drawing room.

"Oh, Mr. Masen, we were just wondering where you had gone," The Harpy simpered.

"I accompanied Miss Isabella and her family to their carriage," I replied brusquely.

She ignored my tone and turned to Mrs. Crowley.

"How very ill Isabella Swan looked this evening; I have never before in my life seen anyone so altered as she was."

She paused looking up at me before continuing, "I was just telling Lauren I would not have recognized her again. She has grown so coarse and brown."

She turned back to Lauren and they both giggled. "What do you say Mr. Masen?"

I grated my teeth together in an attempt to still the biting retort I wanted to give her. Was she really so devoid of proper feeling and decorum that she did not see how offensive her words were?

"I saw no great difference, I suppose a little tan but that is not surprising when one travels in the summer," I replied indifferently.

"I for one never saw any beauty in her face. Her features are not at all handsome, her complexion has no brilliancy."

She paused a moment before smirking to herself. "Her teeth are tolerable I suppose, but nothing out of the _common_ way," She laughed a bit to herself.

"And as for her eyes, which I have sometimes heard called fine, I could never perceive anything extraordinary in them."

Pacing to the front of the room she continued, "And in her air altogether there is a self sufficiency without fashion I find intolerable."

"Tanya…" Emmett warned, but she would not be persuaded.

"How amazed we all were to hear she was a reputed beauty, though I seem to recall you at one time could not perceive any beauty in her face. However, I believe she has improved on you since. It is kind of you to be so considerate to those who are obviously so far beneath you."

I stood and walked to the fire place, my hand balled up in a tight fist, the other holding my drink.

"Madam, you are mistaken, that was only when I first knew her; it has been many months now that I have regarded her as one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance."

I made no effort to hide my contempt, she deserved far worse after the behavior she had shown here today.

"You speak of manners and fine breeding as essentials to an accomplished woman, yet I have seen more lowly behavior exhibited from you this evening than from any member of the Swan family. This is my home, and you are merely a guest, which you will only remain so until the end of the week. I will not have you spewing your poison to Alice."

I turned to face Emmett who was also looking at The Harpy, "Emmett, I am sorry but I can tolerate her no longer."

He agreed, "I understand Edward, I am terribly sorry. She will be gone tomorrow."

I nodded and stalked out of the room, but not before I heard a high pitch wail. "Emmett, you can't make me, I refuse…"

I walked faster, desperate to be as far away from her as possible.

I basked in the silence of my chambers. Alone with my thoughts, I conjured images of Isabella which so often filled my thoughts. I would test the waters tomorrow and see where we stood. I couldn't bear to think of letting her go without some sort of beginning.

**~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~I~**

Alice had gone in the carriage to fetch Isabella; I walked to the stables to oversee the preparations for the morning. Blackjack was saddled and ready, along with Alice's white mare, Lady Grey. The mare I had chosen for Isabella was from the same sire as Blackjack. Pandora had been named by Alice, simply because she was unexpected, which meant that everything else she did would be as well. Interestingly enough, Pandora was one of our most gentle horses and though she could jump as well as any, she had a tame spirit about her.

I heard the carriage before I saw it approach. My excitement was palatable as well as my nervousness. I prayed for everything to go well today, as this would be my last opportunity.

The carriage came to a stop and the stable hand assisted the woman down. I came 'round with three horses in tow.

Both women smiled, "Good morning, Mr. Masen." Isabella greeted quietly.

"Good morning, Miss Isabella, are you ready?"

"I am sir, thank you," she replied quietly

"May I assist you into the saddle?" she nodded and walked toward me.

Lifting her carefully by the waist, I hoisted her toward the saddle, her hand grasped the reins while the other hung onto the saddle. Gracefully, she slid gently into the saddle.

I backed away, my hands aflame with the memory of holding her supple body. She adjusted herself into the saddle arranging her skirts. I understood why women rode side saddle, but never could understand how it was possible to remain on one.

After helping Alice, I mounted Blackjack.

We rode slowly at first letting Isabella get used to the unfamiliar terrain, apparently she had learned on the family horse which was an aging mare named Lady. Pandora was, to her, a high-spirited horse. Isabella seemed to bond with Pandora rather quickly, and I was able to enjoy more of the ride without worrying about her well-being.

I was thrilled with Isabella's response to Pemberley; she was genuine in her interest, and loved the woods and groves we rode through. As we were neared the edge of the immediate property, Alice stopped suddenly.

"Edward, I feel a sudden headache... I think... it would be best if I returned to the house."

I was disappointed, but Alice was more important. "We can return to the house, Alice."

"Nonsense, you finish the tour with Miss Isabella, I am perfectly able to find my way back to the house," she was adamant.

"Miss Masen, really, please do not trouble on my account, I can see your brother is very worried."

She sighed heavily, but was undeterred. "Edward, you may see me back as far as the tree line, and then you _will _finish showing her the grounds. I believe there is a special meadow you wished to show her," she had a mischievous gleam in her eye as she looked at me.

Was she trying to give me privacy? I narrowed my eyes at her, but couldn't be angry. She had given me exactly what I wanted.

"Very well Alice," I turned to Isabella, "Would you like me to help you down from Pandora? You can walk around or rest for a bit."

"I will manage fine, thank you," her tone seemed anxious.

Alice and I rode toward the house, when we reached the lawn she stopped.

"Edward, I know you are still unsure and I think my advice may have been wrong. I don't think you will be risking as much as you think if you try to declare your feelings." With that she rode toward the stables. My sister never ceased to astonish me.

Shaking my head from its stupor, I quickly galloped back to where Isabella was waiting.

When I entered the clearing where I had left her, I was unsurprised to find that she had moved toward the river, allowing Pandora to drink. How she had managed to dismount without help, was not something I wanted to think about.

I came up behind her and dismounted Blackjack, slowly as to not startle her I walked up and quietly cleared my throat.

Isabella spun around and began falling backward into the creek, I reached out and grabbed her pulling her to me. She made no move to escape my grasp, we stood there for a moment the only sound in the clearing was that of our labored breathing.

With trembling fingers, I slowly brought my hand to rest against the side of her face and gently I swept the hair from her eyes, before moving my fingertips toward the nape of her neck.

Softly, I began caressing her delicate skin, ever so slowly Isabella responded to my fingers.

Tentatively, she tilted her head up to meet my eyes.

I knew that now was not the time for this discussion. "Are you well?" I asked sincerely.

Her eye's lowered, shyly. "I am, Sir. You startled me is all."

I slowly released her, careful to place her away from the water.

"Shall we continue then?"

She had seemed pleased with Pemberley thus far. "Yes please, I could never have imagined such a place. The tree's and groves are magnificent."

I was overjoyed by her enthusiastic response, "So you approve of it?"

"Approve?" she questioned. "I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone who would not approve," she looked down.

"Ah, but _your_ approval is the only one that matters." It was a bold statement but the truth none the less.

Hesitantly, she returned my gaze, "Thank you."

I assisted her back onto her horse, and we set off in the direction of the meadow.

The ride was quiet. Her silence worried me that she felt I had been to forward.

Frustrated with my seemingly nonexistent control where Isabella was concerned, I kept quiet as to not make anything worse.

We neared the meadow where a thick row of tree's stood as sentinels protecting the natural treasure that lay beyond.

I dismounted and aided Isabella down, she seemed willing to accept my help. This was a good sign; if I had offended her, I doubt she would allow me to touch her again.

She walked ahead and broke through the tree line first.

"Oh, Mr. Masen. It's beautiful," she said reverently.

I stepped forward and shook my head in disbelief as I saw the lavender was in full bloom, the sight and smell was intoxicating.

"Thank you, this is my sanctuary. You are the only person I have brought here besides Alice."

She spun around.

"Really? Why?" Curiosity lined her features.

"I have never had anyone I cared for to share it with."

The more I revealed, the more I left myself vulnerable to her.

She looked down for a moment, and then raised her head.

"I was very unfair to you, Sir. You did not deserve my censure, or my judgments. I was foolish and blind," she brought her hands together, threading them nervously.

"You have been kinder to me than I deserve, I expected nothing, yet here you are showing me something special and very personal."

I was too afraid to speak for fear of ruining this moment.

"I allowed my wounded pride to blind me to who you really were, and I will regret it for the rest of my life."

_Finally._

"Oh, Isabella," I stepped towards her gathering her to me.

Gently, I threaded my fingers in her hair, cupping the back of her head, my other hand rested on the small of her back.

I stared into her eyes, silently asking permission. She granted it by moving closer, our bodies now flush. I brought my lips to her cheek with such painful restraint, still afraid this was all a dream.

With delicate reverence, my warm breath danced across her skin, as I placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth with tempting lightness.

Instinctively, her eyes fluttered completely shut as she turned her mouth towards mine. I hesitated only a moment and then cautiously I brought my lips to hers. I moved with such slow, sensual intensity against her mouth I felt my heart might stop. It had never been like this before.

Before it had been me taking, this time we were both giving.

Our bodies melded together, and my head began to spin when the realization of what was happening dawned on me.

I moved my hands up to frame her face, steadily, I repeated each kiss with more fervor and boldness than the last.

Completely overwhelmed by her response, I continued, drinking in her scent until I was utterly intoxicated.

Gradually, I pulled my lips from hers and watched as her eyes opened, they held an intense need and desire.

I was at a loss for words, it was all so overwhelming.

Gently, stroking her cheeks with my thumbs I thought of the last time I held her this way, "Although this was not our first kiss, I believe this is the first time it was desired on your part."

She looked away, embarrassed, "I was very rude to you, sir."

"Please look at me, Isabella," I implored.

She met my gaze once more, "Please do not hide yourself from me. There is no need, and I would like it very much if you would call me Edward."

"Edward," she whispered.

At the sound of my name falling from her lips a fire inside me ignited, consuming me.

I stared at her in unconcealed adoration, leaning in once more to claim her lips.

Abruptly I pulled away, not wanting to go another moment knowing she was not mine.

She pulled her hands from my arms and moved her fingertips to my face, gently moving them across my cheek.

"Isabella, I know I have wounded you deeply with my arrogance and pride. Based on the past, I have learned to never assume anything with you."

I paused before plunging into the abyss, one I knew I would not return from if she rejected me again.

"You are too generous to trifle with me, if your feelings are what they were last April, please tell me. My affection and wishes have not changed. But one word from you will silence me forever."

She continued to look at me, her face a mask of concentration, as if she was looking for something.

The silence was excruciating.

Unable to stand it, "If, however, your feelings have changed…I need to tell you…You have captured my heart completely, despite your choice it will always belong to you."

She still said nothing, and my heart begged her to heal me.

"I love you, Isabella Swan. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."

I said everything I could and now had to wait, the silence was agonizing.

Hope was a cruel mistress, bringing joy or sorrow.

Tears brimmed in her eyes, she blinked several times sending them spilling down her cheeks. After another unbearable minute she finally spoke.

"Yes, Edward, my feelings have changed considerably."

I laughed both from excitement and relief. I picked her up spinning us around, "You will marry me, then?"

She laughed, "Yes, I will marry you."

Impulsively, I reached out to her bringing her lips to mine. This kiss, unlike the first, was full of promise.

"I could not bear my life without you, Edward; it would be empty," she whispered against my lips.

Her declaration caused something within me to fracture and the dam of emotions broke free. I pulled her to me passionately, sweeping her from the ground in the process. Her breasts were pressed firmly against mine, our hearts beating as one as we lost each other in our embrace.


	24. A Cowards Revenge

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice…**

* * *

Time ceased to be important as I sat gazing upon the scene before me. Lying peacefully amongst the grass was the most beautiful woman in my world. The lush foliage in vibrant greens and purples, which surrounded her body, were nothing short of a vision.

After relinquishing her lips from mine, she found a comfortable place to rest, the weariness from the ride had taken its toll.

I watched in dreamlike amazement, surely that's all this was…a dream.

"Sir, you seemed very far away just now, is everything well?" Even though her lips had a hint of a smile, she seemed nervous.

"Edward, please," I beseeched her. "I don't think anything has ever brought me more pleasure than to hear my name fall from your lips."

"I thought my playing did that," she smirked.

She was being playful, the little vixen. Well, two could play at that game.

Leaning down toward her, I brought my fingers to her face and softly stroked her cheek. I gazed into her eyes for a moment before bringing my lips to hers. Stopping within a breath of her, I whispered, "I do believe, Isabella, _many_ things you do bring me pleasure."

Her eyes widened and her lips parted just a fraction.

I closed the distance, showing her just how much she made me feel.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

"Isabella? Why did you run from me that day in the garden?" It was a question that had been gnawing at me.

She turned her head, "I was embarrassed, Sir..." I coaxed her back to meet my gaze.

"Edward, please."

"I felt... what must you think of me? The woman who had so cruelly dismissed you, walking around the grounds of your home." Her cheeks flamed as she sought to look away. I held her face gently, trying to show her she had nothing to fear.

"I treated you so horribly, I would not have been surprised if you had thrown me from your home, and..."

"Isabella," I was both hurt and angry that she thought I was so unfeeling, that I could do that to her.

"Worse still, was that you would think I had placed myself there with the purpose of trying to win back your favor." A tear slipped from her eye and fell slowly down her cheek. I wiped it away, replacing it with a gentle kiss.

"Isabella, you are the absolute perfection I have been waiting for. You're all I want, and it took me too long to realize you were everything I needed as well. I once thought you were both my heaven and hell... I've come to realize living without you is a hell I can't endure."

"We are quite a pair, are we not? All this unnecessary suffering." Though she jested, I could see the pain still evident in her eyes.

"Shhh," I plead. "No more unhappy thoughts today."

We spent the better part of the next hour talking and laughing. I had not felt so free since I was a boy.

"How would you like to announce our engagement?" I had been so wrapped up in us that I'd forgotten a very important person I still needed to speak with. "I need to get your father's permission first of course, but I don't think I will be able to keep this news from Alice for too long."

She giggled, "Your sister is lovely, Edward; I truly enjoy her company, and I can see now she has you firmly wrapped around her finger."

I couldn't help but laugh because it was true, "Could we perhaps tell her the news this afternoon? It wouldn't be very far out of our way, or would you rather wait until tonight?"

Isabella's smile fell, "Oh, would you be very disappointed if we waited until tonight? I received two letters from my sister and put off reading them for our outing."

"Of course, you should read your letters; we will give her the good news tonight then. Perhaps I can show you your ring? I know you can't wear it until I gain your fathers permission, but I would like you to see it all the same."

"You already have a ring?" I noted the discomposure in her voice.

"The ring was my mothers, Isabella. I promise you I had no plans to propose today; I simply wanted to show you I was not the horrible person you had encountered in April."

She shook her head and laughed quietly, "And here I've been distressed thinking you would remember what a shrew I had been toward you."

We both burst into a hearty laugh. I was hopeful that we could put the past behind us.

As I looked at the sky, aware that the time to depart was upon us, my heart was with want to stay in the moment forever.

"Isabella, I am reluctant to give you back, but it is time I returned you to your companions before they send out a search party."

"I am sure my Uncle Cullen understood your motives quite well when he allowed me to accompany you and your sister this afternoon." She paused for a moment, "Or did you have other plans all along, Sir?" She had a playful smirk on her face which only made my blood boil further.

"Isabella, since you seem to have a hard time calling me by my given name, I fear I will have to persuade you," I said with a wicked grin.

Knowing this time alone was precious, and unlikely to happen again in the foreseeable future, I stood there, my body poised waiting for permission to proceed further.

For an agonizing moment it seemed as though neither of us were willing to take that first step.

Spending these last hours in her presence was a gift, knowing the looming separation would no doubt lead to many intolerable hours of not being at liberty to touch her, to express what my heart and body so desperately needed.

With that thought I moved towards her, wrapping my arms around her with a fierce possessiveness. I yearned to claim her - to taste her sweet lips once more.

As our lips moved together in an urgent rhythm, I sought to deepen the kiss, desperate in my need. Ever so slowly, I tested her by brushing my tongue cautiously against the fullness of her lips. A sudden intake of breath alerted me to the possibility I had once again assumed too much. Isabella became very still and though I waited for her to push me away, she stayed. She sank further into our embrace, sighing happily against my lips. With renewed hope, I deepened the kiss causing her body to shudder in my grasp. Her reaction fanned the flames of my desire causing them to burn within my heart, the pleasure threatening to engulf me.

All too aware of the precious gift she had entrusted me with, I slowly released her. I desperately needed to exert some self-control, but the desire I felt with each kiss had not diminished that need, it had grown more consuming.

Whispering across her cheek, I told her all that my heart felt, "I am yours, Isabella, as you are mine; I plan on spending the rest of my life loving you."

As I neared the hollow just beneath her ear, I inhaled slowly, breathing in her potent fragrance. Our eyes met, and for the briefest moment time stood still.

"Edward," she whispered against my neck, instantly rekindling my desire. "I feel too much when I'm with you, it frightens me sometimes."

Pulling back, I looked at her with alarm, "Isabella, I apologize; it was never my intention to frighten you… I feel overwhelmed as well."

Holding her hands in mine, she relaxed. "I was never afraid of you, I just never thought I would ever find a love so _consuming_, I was prepared…" she paused and looked away, shame covered her cheeks. "I was prepared for a life alone," she admitted.

"Oh, my darling," I cradled her head against my chest and placed feather light kisses in her hair. "There is no need to feel that way."

"Thank you. I love you, Edward Masen." She held me tighter before releasing me and stepped back.

"I think we better head back before we lose ourselves completely." She said, pausing for a moment, "Edward, may I inform my Aunt and Uncle of our engagement?" I thought a moment, but she added quickly, "I don't think I can contain my enthusiasm and my aunt is a smart woman, she will know something has changed."

"Of course," I agreed.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

Our ride back was filled with lively conversation, such a stark contrast from earlier. I thought I already knew a great deal about Isabella Swan through what I believed was a careful study during our time in Hertfordshire and Kent. However, I realized I had barely begun to scratch the surface.

As we neared the outskirts of Lambton, I found myself already feeling the impending separation. I wondered what the acceptable time frame for an engagement was. If it were up to me, I would apply for a special license and marry her by the next fortnight. Either way, I would need to schedule a trip to Hertfordshire as soon as possible.

With the Inn in sight, Isabella grew more excited. _Was she giddy at the prospect of leaving me so soon_?

"Thank you for showing me Pemberley's grounds, I've never seen anything more beautiful Ed... Mr. Masen."

"Mr. Masen?" I sighed heavily, we were back to 'Mr. Masen'.

"Edward," she hissed, "We are in public now, you can't expect me to call you by your given name when we aren't even publicly engaged."

That hadn't even crossed my mind, "I see..." I leaned closer to her. "I suppose I will have to try extra hard to persuade you then, won't I?"

She huffed and kicked Pandora into a trot. Before I realized what she was going to do, she rode up to the Inn and stopped. I couldn't reach her before she jumped down from the saddle, nearly giving me a heart attack. She giggled, which at least told me she was unharmed. I would definitely be getting her back for that stunt.

Blackjack halted right beside Pandora. I leaned down to where Isabella was standing, her eyes alight with mischief. "That was very naughty, Isabella. Do you enjoy making me suffer?" Her eyebrow furrowed in confusion, "You realize I will then have to return the favor."

I dismounted, and lowered my head as if to kiss her. Her eyes grew wide, as they darted around looking to see if people were about. I grazed her cheek before stopping to speak, "Please don't ever take your safety so flippantly again. You are my life now, Isabella Swan."

I stepped back and she nodded, too overcome to speak. "Go and tell your Aunt and Uncle the happy news, I will see to the horses and join you in a moment." She gently took my hand, and then released it before walking in.

I tied up the horses quickly and walked into the Inn. The scene that greeted me was not what I expected, Isabella looked embarrassed, but her aunt and Uncle were both smiling at her. Mr. Cullen turned to me, his eyebrow raised slightly, "Well Mr. Masen, I expected you had feelings for my niece. But, I must say Sir, you moved much quicker than I anticipated." His expression serious he paused, "However, seeing how happy my niece is I am willing to overlook what I saw downstairs."

I felt my cheeks redden, and scolded myself for not being more discreet, "I apologize, Sir."

He waved me off, "No apologies needed, I should however warn you, her father would not be as lenient."

"Uncle!" Isabella, gasped in horror. "You shouldn't scare Mr. Masen; we have only been engaged a few hours."

He chuckled "My dear, you are your father's favorite daughter, and I am only jesting." His face grew more somber, "However, I am sure Mr. Masen will find him less willing to part with you than if it were say... Victoria?" She made a face which told me she agreed.

I was becoming more and more nervous about Mr. Swan. I knew he wouldn't deny my request, but it was in his power to hurt Isabella if he wasn't entirely happy with her decision.

Mr. Cullen seemed to sense the change, "Your Aunt and I were going to walk to the church, would you like to accompany us?"

"Oh…um would you be terribly disappointed if I stayed behind to read my letters from Rose?" Isabella responded timidly.

Mrs. Cullen smiled warmly, "Of course not dear, your Uncle and I will walk to the church and call back for you in an hour."

As they were preparing to leave I thought about Alice and whether she would expect me home. I didn't want to leave Isabella yet, but felt that I would smother her if I insisted on staying. I decided to speak up as Mrs. Cullen took her husbands arm. "I suppose I should return to Pemberley, then." I tried to keep my expression neutral, as I looked at Isabella attempting to gage her reaction.

"I would... I mean would you mind staying, Sir? I shouldn't be too long." She looked down, "Unless you need to go, that is."

I turned to Mr. Cullen, "If it is agreeable to you Sir, I can wait here and escort Isabella to the church after she has finished reading her letters."

He eyed me before agreeing. "Very well, an hour then, Isabella."

_What was it about this man who could unnerve me so? I hoped this wasn't a family trait._

I sat in the chair by the window making myself comfortable. Isabella bid her companions goodbye and hastily retreated to the private sitting area which adjoined their bed chambers.

In her haste she left the door ajar; I would need to speak with her later about latching her doors, one never knew what persons could be about.

Time ticked by slowly.

I found myself twirling my cane, watching with fascination as the crystal top caught the reflection from the sun. Thousands of prisms filled the room when I adjusted the stone just so. I felt a carefree sort of lightness, finding the small discoveries in life were, in fact, the biggest.

I could still fulfill all my responsibilities and expectations, yet have happiness as well.

Such a small revelation, yet in my world where happiness was rarely achieved, I sat in awe at what was really in my grasp. I had found the woman whose intelligence challenged me, she forced me to see those things about myself I was too ashamed to admit; emotions I had long buried.

My mother understood me, her caring words and actions helped me bear the weight of responsibility I was being prepared for. When she died that support died with her, yet I could still hear her words.

_'Responsibility to those in need should never be considered a burden.'_

I was certain she would have loved Isabella, knowing she was exactly what I needed. I felt a love for her that rivaled my love for my family, if not more. I gripped the cane harder before hitting the floor with it hard in frustration, the resounding thud reverberated through the room.

_Why had it taken me so long to see it?_

My family, my parents… I looked at my fathers crested ring on my finger and wished they could have met Isabella. I had no doubts they would have found her as witty, charming and beautiful as I did.

I turned my attention to the people walking the streets, busying themselves with their everyday tasks. Lambton was a small town but industrious. The farms surrounding Pemberley, including my tenants, produced a great deal of the local food supply. Looking further, I noticed several children playing, carefree and happy. I had been that carefree once, before the weight of my responsibility had worn away all the optimistic happiness one carries as a youth.

I had become bitter, jaded, and unhappy.

Alice would argue against this, but sending her away was a decision based on my inability to cope any longer. Ramsgate had proved to be an eye opener that people could not be trusted, and this only caused me to further slip down the path I was already headed.

It wasn't until I met Isabella, where I allowed myself to feel once more, that I realized how callous and unfeeling I'd become. And now I had another chance at life.

"No…no… why…" I heard her cry from the other room. I looked up immediately and was out of my chair and at her door.

"Isabella? What is it? Do you need assistance? Should I summon someone?"

I stood there straining to hear anything, but no sound filtered from the behind the door. Then I heard a strangled cry, "Good Lord, no."

Without much thought to propriety, I pushed the door aside quickly and went to her as fast as I could, dropping to my knees in front of her and surveyed the sight in front of me.

A letter clutched in one hand, the other covering her mouth in horror, tears brimmed and fell in rapid succession.

"Isabella," I reached up and grabbed her hand, holding it my own. "What's happened?"

"No…no…why would she do this?" she cried.

Unable to handle the suspense a moment longer, I grabbed her face with my hands forcing her to look at me. "Isabella, please." I begged her. "Please, let me help you. I can't… your distress is too much."

"Edward…" the whisper was laced with heartache. "Victoria, she… she has left her friends… has eloped." She tiled her chin up and with a steely voice. "She has thrown her self into the power of Mr. Wickham."

My heart cried out, _No!_

Immediately, I began questioning her as to their whereabouts and what was being done to recover her. As far as they knew they planned on traveling to Scotland where they would wed.

I knew James, Victoria was not the woman he would look for as a potential bride. He needed money, money only a wealthy heiress could provide. Victoria Swan would no doubt be nothing more than a passing fancy, and when he was bored she would be discarded like all the others. Forced to face society as a ruined woman, her family bearing the brunt of her disgrace.

_Good Lord, Isabella. She would have to bear this. The choice of one sister had effectually ruined them all._

I needed to fix this… I would fix this.

I leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "Isabella, I will do whatever it takes to make this right."

She burst into a renewed bout of tears, "But, Edward, how is such a man to be worked on? If only, if only I had been more open with my sisters, none of this would have happened! She is lost to us, and now we must all partake of her ruin and disgrace."

She turned her face from me; I dropped my hands uselessly. "I cannot nor will I bring this disgrace to your family, Edward. You have fought for so long with this man. I will not be the means in which he ruins your family."

I felt my heart fracture, as she pulled away from me. She saw herself as disgraced and no longer worthy of my love.

"Please never say that again, Isabella. I love you more than I ever thought I could love another. You have brought me a happiness I dared not dream I could attain. I will not let Wickham take that from me; until my last breath, I will fight for you."

She looked up, I could see the hope and despair warring in her eyes.

"Please, my love, I cannot lose you when we just found one another, it would destroy me."

"What can we do, Edward?"

I was still unsure how willing her father, or uncle, would be to accept my assistance. I knew James well and was positive he was still in London, well concealed.

"I will travel to London and begin searching. I have contacts which will be useful; the only problem I foresee is convincing James to marry Victoria."

"You…" her eyes went wide. "You think he had no intention of ever marrying my sister?"

"No, I'm sorry, Isabella. Wickham has always intended on marrying well, he would never settle on a dowry less than ten thousand pounds."

"Ten thousand pounds? Heaven forbid, she is lost…lost," she whimpered.

"Time is of the essence. May I send a servant to fetch your Aunt and Uncle?"

She nodded and I left for only a moment. Once I found the servant and sent her to find Mr. Cullen, I returned to find Isabella had moved out to the public sitting room. I sat next to her and held her hand, giving her what comfort I could.

The door swung open, and Mr. Cullen ran through entrance. "What is it? We were told to return at once." His face was full of alarm; Mrs. Cullen was right behind him.

Isabella stood and walked over to his collapsing in his arms. She handed the letter to her aunt who went to work reading it contents immediately. Mr. Cullen held his niece, trying to do what he could for her.

"Carlisle… This is dreadful news. Victoria has run away from Brighton, with the intention of eloping. It says Charles has been in London looking but has yet to find any trace of them."

"Uncle, she has ruined everything…everything." Isabella whispered.

"Shhh, Isabella, we will find them and they will marry." He tried to convince her, but his expression was unconvinced.

"Sir, if I may, I would like to help search for her, I am familiar with Wickham and his habits."

He shook his head, "I appreciate you offering your assistance Mr. Masen but this is a matter for her family."

I understood his hesitation, after all this was exactly what I would have done in Alice's case, had it come to that. "I understand your hesitation, however Sir, I am engaged to Isabella, and now consider her family a part of my own. I will do what ever I can to help my family."

Mr. Cullen looked momentarily stunned, "I see that you will not be persuaded otherwise. I admit any assistance will be greatly appreciated, however since my brother does not know of your engagement, perhaps it would be wise to keep your involvement between us."

"I agree, I would like to receive his blessing not out of obligation or because of my position, I would like him to know how deeply I care for his daughter."

"Perhaps he will, I am not saying my brother will object, although Isabella _is_ his favorite, rather he is a thoughtful, quiet man, whose opinions usually surprise me."

I was suddenly feeling extremely nervous, _would Mr. Swan reject my suit?_

Mr. Cullen turned to his wife, "I am going to inform the innkeeper of our departure and make arrangement to have our coach readied." He took her hand in an attempt to sooth her fears. "Shall I send help to ready our trunks?"

She nodded, and they left us alone.

Isabella was quiet, her face a blank mask. I was desperate to know what she was thinking but my fear kept me from pressing. Instead I tried a more neutral approach.

"Edward…"

"Isabella…"

"Please continue," I implored.

She drew a steady breath her expression pained. "Edward, I am to be taken home by my Uncle, it seems we are being torn apart once more. I… I can't ask you to risk your family or your reputation to save my sister. It is too much… I am not worth it." She finished in a whisper.

I dropped to my knees in front of her, taking both her hands in mine. "Isabella, I need you to understand my name… Pemberley… it's all meaningless. I would gladly give it all up, if it meant keeping you." I felt near tears, I couldn't lose her not now.

"Edward, I couldn't live with myself knowing my sister's disgrace ruined you and think of Alice!" she cried. "That man put her through hell, to have him associated with her." She shook her head as the tears stained her cheeks.

"Please my love let me make this right, give me a chance. I will not let you go… I can't."

I looked up in earnest; willing her to see my sincerity. We looked at one another trying to will the other to understand.

"I am going to London to search; whether or not you still want me is another matter."

She sucked in a harsh breath but I continued.

"I will not change course; I am yours until you order me away."

She loosed her hands from my grip and gently cupped my face, "Never."

I stood up and took her in my arms, holding her until we heard the door open.

"Isabella the trunks are ready to be taken down to the carriage. Are you finished saying goodbye?"

She looked helplessly between her aunt and I, "I suppose so," she sighed helplessly.

I took her arm, "May I escort you down?"

We walked down in silence, the impending separation and the upcoming fight I knew was inevitable loomed like a storm on the horizon. When we reached the carriages, we were met by a flurry of activity. Servants scurried back and forth loading trunks while Mr. Cullen spoke to Mr. Waylon. I would send him my thanks for his assistance.

Realizing our time was drawing to a close, I turned to Isabella taking her hands in mine.

"Isabella, I will come for you, never doubt that. I will do whatever it takes to make you safe again, I love you."

She smiled though it wasn't the happy carefree smile from earlier in the day, "And I you."

I assisted her into the carriage, holding onto her hand until the last possible moment. I watched helplessly as the carriage drove away, my mind begged her to look back at me one last time and as if hearing my plea, she looked back.

Time they say, stands still when you have a moment of clarity, to this I can attest.

At the moment she turned, I knew without a doubt she was my future the woman who would be my companion, my lover and mother of my children.

No matter the outcome of what lie ahead, I would fight for her. I would make her happy once more.


	25. Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

* * *

**August 1813**

The carriage rocked back and forth as the coachman maintained the rapid pace I had requested. At first he had been confused as to why I would request we travel at such a pace, however, after several hard blows to the ceiling, he understood that I was, indeed, serious.

Time was of the essence.

I knew that James was hiding somewhere in London. Scotland was more than likely a rouse intended to throw people off his trail.

The question was why?

I knew him well enough to know it was probably the result of running up debts he couldn't pay back; James had run up several tabs in Lambton before his first hasty retreat.

This still didn't answer why Victoria?

I leaned down, bringing my fingers to my head and slowly massaged my temples. My head was beginning to ache as I tried to recall anything that would have triggered such a response.

Victoria was, if anything, vivacious but it often bordered on alarming. Propriety was completely lost on her as she sought to be the center of attention wherever she went. These traits would appeal to James, as he often felt the same way about society and its rules, but enough to throw everything away?

The problem was her lack of fortune; by all accounts Victoria's dowry was a paltry one thousand pounds. James would never allow himself to be entangled in a marriage to a poor woman - no matter how beautiful or charming.

I had momentarily panicked after Isabella told me the news that James had somehow been made aware of our engagement. It only lasted a moment before reason again took hold; there was no way he could have known.

I tried to reason through it until the pounding in my head became too much to ignore.

Sitting up, I laid my head back and closed my eyes, trying to conjure pictures of Isabella to soothe my frustration.

But I was only able to see the broken, tear stained face of my beloved.

In my impatience, I struck the ceiling once again with my cane causing the coachman to urge the horses faster.

Soon we arrived in London, and I ran from the carriage to my townhouse. The housekeeper looked on in shock as I began giving orders and instructions requesting people to be sent for immediately. I also asked that any callers be notified I was not at home, this was not a social visit.

If the housekeeper thought this was strange she kept her thoughts to herself. I was grateful; I already owed the coachman an apology.

I went straight to my study and wrote letters to several people.

The most important being Jasper.

If anyone could help me, it would be him. I trusted him implicitly, and knew he had contacts within the military which could aide us in our search. James had deserted his post, not something the Army looked upon with forgiving eyes. That was the first bargaining chip I had, the second I was quite sure would be his debtors. James never left anywhere without leaving extensive tabs in his wake. I wrote to Mr. Cullen asking him to try and gather what information he could about the debts James accrued while in Hertfordshire and Brighton.

It was well past dark, and I was feeling the effects of my journey. Exhausted, I sealed the letters, and took them to the housekeeper asking that she dispatch them immediately. I climbed the stairs to my bed chamber and fell into bed.

The dreams I had hoped would take me eluded me. Instead, all I could see was Isabella's tear stained face, as she pleaded with me to release her from our engagement. I tossed and turned, as the agony such an event would cause pierced my subconscious.

Clutching my chest, I sat up panting for breath. Though I knew it to be a nightmare, it had felt real. So much so I still felt the sting from the very thought.

I needed to erase that image from my mind, only hours earlier I had been the happiest I could ever remember. Trying to focus on those memories, I let the warmth of her smile, and the softness of her lips ease the pain of seeing her so bereft of hope.

The moon moved slowly across the sky as the night wore on, by morning's light it was apparent I had slept poorly.

I felt much better after finally dressing in clean clothes, all thanks to my Valet. In my haste, I had not taken the time to pack, and so had him follow me after. He shook his head but seemed to understand my life was not the same. A year ago I would never have been so careless, nor exhausted, as to fall asleep in my clothes.

I was surprised to see Jasper waiting for me, already seated at the breakfast table taking coffee. He looked up with a grim expression.

"Edward, I would like something clarified before another word is spoken. I understand this involves James, but please tell me Alice is in no way hurt."

"No, Jasper, Alice is safe at Pemberley, and has had no contact with him." I paused realizing my error. "I apologize, Jasper, I should have clarified that in the letter. In my defense, it was rather late and I was exhausted."

His expression only softened slightly, his hard gaze stayed fixed upon me. "I am an understanding man, Edward, but you can't begin to understand just how long you made my night."

I hung my head, ashamed at my lack of thought for his feelings. Of course he would want to know Alice was safe.

"Enough of this, we have a bastard to deal with, and I may forgive you if I'm able to make him suffer, even a little."

I smiled at the thought and sat down to breakfast.

"You're smiling? It would seem Pemberley agreed with you after all."

I smiled even larger, "More than you know."

"Well, this sounds like a story I must hear." he pressed.

I told him of my engagement to Isabella, in which he immediately asked if James was aware. I shook my head in the negative, and he sighed in relief.

His thoughts had no doubt mirrored my own.

"What are your plans, Edward? You know James won't be easy to find and when you do, what then?"

"I plan on using the law, to convince him to do what is right,"

Jasper scoffed, "You know his penchant for evading the law, Edward."

I smiled though there was no humor in it, "You remember I told you he was in the army?" Jasper nodded.

"He has left his post without leave. He has effectively deserted his post in his Majesty's military." I paused letting the weight of my words sink in, Jasper looked astonished.

"Is he mad? He could be hung for such an offence."

I nodded, "Precisely,"

"That is a rather huge bargaining chip, anything else?"

"There are always his debts; I have little doubt that is what drove his desertion in the first place." At least I hoped it was.

"The young lady you mentioned, Victoria? She is Miss Isabella's sister?"

"Yes, and I have racked my brain repeatedly trying to come to some sort of reasonable conclusion. What could have possibly driven him?" I stood frustrated once more and began to pace.

"She has no fortune; her dowry is a paltry one thousand pounds. Her family has no connections to which he would rise to any fortune... It makes no sense!"

"Edward, have you ever considered it was a mere fancy in which his was indulging?"

I rounded on him, "She is not a woman without family, Jasper; she is a gentleman's daughter." No matter how Victoria behaved, she deserved better than this.

"Where do you propose we begin searching? London is a very large place, Edward, they could be anywhere."

"I don't plan on searching every inn in Greater London. I believe he is being concealed with help. James would not have been able to arrive and stay hidden without some assistance. I just need to figure out who is helping him."

My pacing increased as I ran through the possibilities, who would he turn to? There couldn't be many people willing to be taken advantage of by him time and time again. In Ramsgate it had been...

Mrs. Laurent... of course!

I stopped and turned to face Jasper, "Mrs. Laurent, that's whose hiding him,"

"The woman from Ramsgate?" Jasper repeated. His expression grew contemplative as he mulled it over in his mind.

"Yes, I believe that is a very good place to start." He agreed, "Last we heard she'd opened an inn in London,"

"I will make inquires as to her wear-abouts immediately. I have asked Miss Isabella's uncle to find what he can find out in regards to James' debt."

"Does the family know you are searching for her?" Jasper asked.

"Her Uncle is aware and will help in anyway he can, which is why he is the perfect person to get us the information we need." I paused a moment, taking a sip of coffee, "I need to know what we are dealing with before we approach him, James is not going to marry Miss Victoria willingly."

"No, I expect he still intends on finding a wealthy heiress." Jasper could barley disguise the disgust in his voice.

As if a thought had just occurred to him, he continued, "Does Alice know why you're here?"

Alice… She had been upset when I had finally reached Pemberley.

**~I~I~I~**

_Alice had greeted me upon my return. Immediately noticing I had returned alone, she became concerned, "Edward, where is Miss Isabella?"_

_Isabella... The sickness and anger residing in my chest had not abated._

_"She is on her way home to Hertfordshire as we speak."_

_Her expression changed from anticipation to horror, "What! Why? Edward, what did you do?" she accused._

_I shook my head, "Nothing, Alice, I promise I didn't run Isabella back to Hertfordshire," I laughed to myself, as I thought it would probably would have been true a year ago._

_"Why would she leave then?" she whispered. "Was I too presumptuous leaving you two alone?" her eyes widened. "I offended her, oh Edward, I am so sorry,"_

_"Alice," I took her in my arms, cradling her head to my chest. "You did no such thing, in fact Isabella and I are engaged," She looked up, shocked. "Truly?" her eyes alight with hope and excitement. _

_I chuckled, "Yes, my dear, Isabella has consented to be my wife."_

_"Oh, Edward! That is wonderful news, when can I see her again? Will we travel to Hertfordshire?" she rattled of her questions with excitement._

_I sighed heavily, "I must depart for London as soon as possible,"_

_"Why? I don't understand, Edward, we only just arrived."_

_Swallowing nervously, I tried to think of the best possible way to tell Alice what had happened. I knew she would support whatever I decided, but to open old wounds... After a moment I realized there was no easy way to break this to her, I would just need to trust that Jasper was right and she could handle this._

_I drew in a calming breath, "Miss Isabella received a letter from home with distressing news. It seems her younger sister has run away with an officer from Brighton,"_

_Alice covered her mouth as she gasped in horror, "No! Oh, Edward, their family!"_

"_That's not all, Alice. The officer... The man she ran away with was James Wickham."_

_I awaited her reaction, seconds passed and nothing. Suddenly, a strangled sob ripped through her body, and she slumped into my arms, "Why, Edward? It's as if he is some demon sent to torment us."_

_"I never wanted to cause you pain, Alice. I am sorry to have burdened you with such news, but I felt it was only right to tell you the truth. Although I may not always see it, you are capable of more than I give you credit for. It would be unfair of me to leave and not be open with you,"_

_She wiped the tears from her eyes and stood, her expression hardened, "You will find him, Edward, and when you do… I want you to do whatever it takes to ensure he never hurts another woman again... you must, for Isabella."_

**~I~I~I~**

I looked at Jasper, who was waiting. "Yes, I told her before I departed. Her reaction was a dichotomy; on one side she was hurt for her and for Isabella, but she was also angry at Wickham,"

"I'm relived to be honest, she has had time to mature and understand exactly why he preyed on her. Anger is to be expected, Edward,"

"I never want her to feel that way again. I want to protect her from him. It seems no matter how hard I try, he still has the power to hurt those I love,"

I pounded my fist in the desk in frustration, "It's maddening, Jasper! I feel like I'm losing my mind... the anger I feel its overwhelming,"

"Edward, you need to put aside those feeling if you are going to rationally deal with this situation. James knows how to play you, do you not see that? If you go into this wearing your emotions on your sleeve he will know there is more than mere friendship invested in your interests. You'll be playing right into his hands,"

I knew he was right, but it did little to temper my rage.

"What would you suggest, then?" I asked.

"Edward, I have no doubt you have thought this through and the letters you have written are a good start. You know as well as I that information is vital, if you are to get James to cooperate,"

"But will it be enough? It has to be Jasper, I cannot fail her,"

He looked thoughtful for a moment, "Perhaps I could arrange a meeting with the Major General; he may have a solution to our problem,"

I eyed him speculatively, "How so?"

"When going into battle we assess the situation coming up with multiple strategies before we even strike; knowing your opponents weakness is your greatest strength in overcoming him,"

"So by not only laying his debts and desertion at his feet, but having contingency plans I can effectively force his hand,"

"Exactly." He agreed.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

I had been in London a week, and progress was moving slower than I'd liked. After receiving the reports detailing Wickham's debts, in both Brighton and Meryton, I felt like we were finally getting somewhere.

The sum equaled ten thousand pounds, a substantial amount for a gentleman with little fortune. It was no wonder he had fled in desperation.

Checking the time, I finished some letters before departing to meet with Jasper and the Major General. I was indebted to Jasper not only for his insight and advice, but it was he who demanded I calm down enough to reason through this mess with a level head.

My efforts to locate Mrs. Laurent had so far been in vain, it was possible she was left London. If this were the case my search would need to follow a different path. Mr. Cullen was searching with Isabella's father and kept me informed as to what progress they were making.

In truth, we had little to go on as of yet.

I dispatched the letters and loaded the carriage bound for Boodles. The club seemed less crowded than usual, but I reminded myself it was summer and most gentlemen were in the country.

"Edward!" I was greeted by Jasper.

I approached their table and greeted them, "Jasper," then turned to the man seated to his left. "It is an honor to finally make you acquaintance, Sir,"

He eyed my curiously for a moment, "Not at all," he smiled. "Edward would probably never forgive me for taking so long to meet his son,"

I was certain mine, as well as Jasper's, expression was both confused and shocked.

He laughed a hearty laugh, "My full name is Peter Cahlwell, and I was a friend of your fathers,"

"You are Lord Cahlwell's son?" I sputtered.

"Indeed, I grew up with your father and we attended school together. I was very sorry to hear of his passing, I was serving abroad during the funeral or I would have attended,"

"I remember Jasper's father mentioning he was trying to locate their friend. They had tried to get word to him but were unable to in time,"

"It was hard news to receive such news, and more so since I was away," He looked distant for a moment. "But enough talk, what can I do to help you my boy?"

I cleared my throat, "I am not sure how much Jasper told you…"

"I filled him in on the basics, but I think it will be helpful if he knew the entire history behind your dealings with Wickham,"

I nodded and proceeded to acquaint him with James Wickham - his beginnings up until the present. He sat there listening, betraying no hints as to how he felt about what I was telling him.

It was unnerving.

When I finished, I sat back and waited.

He sighed and shook his head, "Edward was always too kind for his own good. It doesn't surprise me that George's son would have taken advantage of him,"

He saw our question, "George Wickham was your father's steward, I met him several times during my visits to Pemberley," I never knew James' fathers name, he died when I was eight.

"Although he preformed his duties well, there was an attitude of entitlement to him. He encouraged his son's friendship with you, hoping that your father would help his son secure a place in society,"

I smirked, "But he didn't count on his son's complete lack of motivation. In fact, my father gave him many opportunities, which he threw away simply because they would have required work,"

Jasper added his opinion, "I've decided James wants a life of leisure where he has enough money to drink, gamble and womanize without the restraint of lack of funds,"

The Major General chuckled, "That is not new behavior; many a wealthy aristocrat has emptied their coffers spending so recklessly. But enough of this, I think I may have a solution to your problem,"

That caught my attention.

"As a senior officer, I can say that Lieutenant Wickham faces the hangman's noose for his desertion, if convicted under military justice. Which in this case is likely, with two wars his Majesty is taking desertion very seriously,"

He paused for a moment, "Are you certain you don't want to just turn him over to the military? If he has behaved as you say, his life isn't worth all this trouble,"

"No, it is not, but the honor of the woman I love and her family's is." _Isabella meant everything._

"So the young lady he has compromised is your fiancé's sister?" I nodded, "Well that does complicate things,"

"My first plan is to see if she will willingly quit her circumstance and retire to the country. If that fails, I shall persuade James it is in his best interest to marry the girl,"

"And how will you do that? The army will still seek justice for his desertion. Would you marry the poor girl to a condemned man?"

I sighed heavily, this was becoming more entangled, "Would it be possible for him to receive a pardon if he were willing to submit to another post?"

He sat back, thoughtful for a moment, "I suppose that is possible. He would need to realize that he would be under heavy scrutiny. One step out of line and it would be all over... I might have a good stern commander that would shape him up in no time,"

I chuckled. James would probably prefer death after all this was over.

"You would need to buy his commission, Edward. Are you willing to waste more money on him?" Jasper asked with concern.

"I have no choice. We allowed him to roam unchecked for far too long. If we had dealt with him when he tried to seduce Alice this would have ended long ago,"

Just saying that out loud made my stomach twist into knots.

The Major General shook his head, "Your father would have been appalled. I have no doubt he would have strung him up himself. You have a lot more compassion than I."

"My handling of James had nothing to do with compassion," I bit out harshly. "Forgive me, it is still very painful. I merely wanted to spare Alice from a life of ridicule because of a small lapse in judgment."

"It is a very fine line to walk, and I applaud your restraint. In the end, for Alice, it was probably the best decision. Though not for this unfortunate young lady,"

I agreed, of all my decisions I regretted most it was not doing enough to ensure he could never harm another young woman. If I had, Isabella would not be suffering.

It had grown late and I excused myself, pleased to have made his acquaintance; I thanked him for his help.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

Seated at the table, I sifted through the letters I had received. I was still amazed to find the Major General had been such a good friend to my father as well as Jasper's. As I thought on this more, it made sense why he had taken such an interest in Jasper's career.

I was disappointed to find that no relevant, or credible sources, had been able to find the whereabouts of Mrs. Laurent or James. Most accounts were vague at best, giving random bits of information in hopes of a reward. I threw the letters on the table in frustration.

Time was running out.

"Sir? Two letters just arrived for you." The old butler placed them on the table and left.

One was from Jasper, and the other an unknown person.

I read through Jasper's letter first. He had made significant progress in obtaining the necessary documents for us to proceed. Either way, James would not leave London unchained.

I smirked to myself at his choice of words.

The second letter was written in barley legible handwriting.

_Sir, _

_I own a small tavern owner in East Shadwell. A gentleman came in not too long ago looking for information about a young officer and a lady. I have information which may benefit you. The young officer and the lass_ _described were seen entering an Inn on Fell street a week or so ago. This is all the information I have._

_Regards,_

_T. Banner_

_East Shadwell_? That part of London was close to the docks and considered dodgy. I knew James was desperate, but that desperate?

I needed to locate Jasper, if this man was correct then it would be the first credible lead we had.

Not thirty minutes later, Jasper arrived and we set off together in a hired coach. It would do no good to go into such a place bearing livery, it would immediately make people suspicious.

We traveled as quickly as possible through the crowded London streets. I watched as the familiar buildings made way for the more industrial fair, and then finally the dilapidated buildings, which dated back to the 16th century.

I chuckled a bit, as I envisioned groups of men running around in wigs and pantaloons.

There are some fashions I would never understand.

When we arrived, I negotiated with the driver to remain, and he agreed after I paid him a hefty sum to wait until we had finished our business.

The street was alive with activity as people scurried from place to place. Children ran through the street, most looked as if they hadn't had a bath in weeks.

"I will never understand how a country as diverse and wealthy as ours allows people to live in such squalor. It feels as if we are in another world," Jasper had travelled much in his military career and seen the good and bad of the world.

I watched as a very drunk man crawled from the tavern across the street. He moaned as each moment seemed to be physically painful.

"I believe that is the tavern we are looking for," I pointed in the direction of the man.

We walked around the man, I covered my nose, the stench was overwhelming. "Good Lord, it's as if he'd not bathed in a month," I whispered to Jasper.

He seemed unaffected, "The stench of war is similar, at least he still has all his limbs intact,"

"I can honestly say I'm glad I have never had to experience that," I said, as I pushed open the door.

The tavern was surprisingly clean, although I wasn't able to say the same for the patrons. We walked to the bar; the man on the other side was cleaning some glasses. I hoped he was the T. Banner from the letter I had received.

When we approached he looked up and blinked furiously, "Evenin' Gents, what can I get fer ye?"

"I am looking for a T. Banner,"

His expression darkened, "And what might ye be looking for him fer?"

I sighed, this was becoming taxing, "I received a letter contain information, and I would like to speak with him. Can you help us or not?"

His eyes widened, "My apologies, Sir, I am Timothy Banner, and this here is my tavern. Sorry if I came off rude like, but one can never be too careful."

"Very good, could you perhaps point us in the directing to the house you mentioned?"

"Aye, it's on the other side of the street can't miss it; it's the red one with the windows."

"Thank you," I replied, and handed him a sack of coins.

We made our way out of the tavern and back onto the street; the afternoon sun was oppressive. We spotted the building immediately. The appearance looked like some sort of inn. But there was no activity around the building, which was strange. I grabbed hold of the heavy iron knocker and knocked. Jasper and I stood back and waited for someone to answer.

The door opened, and a small woman answered followed close behind by another woman. As she neared I saw it was a very shocked Mrs. Laurent.

"Good day, Madame," I greeted her with as much civility as I could muster.

She quickly composed herself, "Mr. Masen, what a surprise. What brings two gentlemen such as your self to this part of London? What can I do for you?" Though she tried to remain calm, I detected a flicker of unease in her voice.

"I am looking for a mutual acquaintance of ours, James Wickham,"

Her eyes widened slightly, but just as quickly she narrowed them. "I don't know where he is,"

Ahhh, she was lying.

"Madame, I would appreciate it if you didn't waste my time. We both know that is not true, the question is why are you helping him?"

It was a matter I had yet to decipher, her continued aide confounded me, unless... James was giving her money in return. I couldn't fathom any other reason she would help him.

"I told you, I have no idea where he is."

Exasperated I drew in a deep breath, "I would not test me today, Madame, I know not what James has done to win your loyalty, but after your part in his plot to ruin my sister, I feel I was more than generous in simply discharging you from your post,"

She stepped back slightly.

"I will not hesitate to exact what punishment you truly deserve, if you do not give me the information I require,"

Trembling, she looked away, silent for a moment, "I may know something but it will cost you,"

"We owe you nothing, Madame, you are not in a position to bargain," Jasper spoke.

"You don't understand, James knows people. He could do just as much damage to my livelihood as you. I won't trade what I know for nothing,"

"What is your price?"

"One hundred pounds,"

"Very well, now give me the information, but I warn you it better be worth what I have paid,"

I handed over the coins and waited while she counted them, "Wickham is hiding in an inn three streets over on Cannon street. He had a girl with him, but I am not sure if he still does,"

"Thank you, you understand we will be back if your information proves untrue,"

"I understand perfectly,"

"Very well, good day, Madame." We left the inn walking toward our awaiting carriage, climbing in I directed him to the next stop.

Setting off, I tried to collect my thoughts. I knew every word and expression would be important. I could not afford to give James any hint there was more to my interest than restitution for his prior crimes. The more I thought about what James had done, not only to me, but those I loved the more hardened and angry I became. I was sure there were others out there who he had wronged. I felt like I would be standing in for them when we finally achieved justice.

Too soon the carriage stopped outside a filthy looking inn, Jasper stopped me before I could open the door. "Edward, are you prepared? You know what is at stake here. You must keep a level head,"

"I am very aware of what is at stake, Jasper. James will face justice one way or another,"

"Very Well, Edward."

Stepping out, I instructed the driver to wait in which he was happy to oblige. I was certain I had paid him in one afternoon what he would normally make in a month.

We entered the Inn, and the gentleman behind the desk greeted us.

"Evenin', will you be requiring rooms then gentleman?"

_Hardly._

"I am looking for an acquaintance, a Mr. James Wickham. I was told he is a guest here,"

"Why yes, Sir, he is stayin' in the last room on the third floor. Still waiting fer the gent to pay me, perhaps you could remind him,"

I smiled, "I would be delighted to convey your message."

I climbed the stairs quickly, Jasper was right behind me. The hallway seemed adequately lit, as we made our way to the door at the end of the hall.

I drew in a deep breath, before raising my hand and knocked soundly.

Seconds passed when finally the door swung open.

"I told you I would pay..." the words died on his lips as he took in who was on the other side of the door.

"Hello, _James_."


	26. Comeuppance

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.**

* * *

"Edward." The color drained from his face as he saw it was not only me, but Jasper as well.

"James, we need to speak with you, now."

He eyed me cautiously, "I can't imagine why, but I'll oblige you. Give me a moment to make my self presentable - I will meet you downstairs."

"Jaaames," A whiny voice called from the other room. "I'm bored, get rid of the nasty man and come back to me."

"I wasn't aware you had company," I lied smoothly.

"Oh, I don't, she's no one of consequence. Just give me a moment and I'll join you downstairs."

I was sickened by the callous indifference he treated his current situation. I needed to bite my tongue, losing my temper would not help Victoria or...

Isabella.

"Very well, James, five minutes, no more."

The door shut quickly and we made our way downstairs. The Innkeeper directed us to a semi- private room where we would be able to talk without noise or interruption. Jasper and I took a seat a seat before Jasper turned to me and spoke.

"I'm worried, Edward. He seems off somehow."

Jasper was right something was indeed off, he wasn't his normal suave self.

"So, gentleman, what brings you all the way to East Shadwell this evening?" James walked in with his usual swagger.

He took a seat and measured each of us for a moment before turning to me. "Edward, I admit you took me by surprise. I would never have dreamt you'd sully yourself enough to come to this part of London."

"I could say the same of you. I am surprised to see you lodging here. Fallen on hard times have you?"

He looked nervously between Jasper and myself, "Well, we can't all be wealthy now, can we, Masen?" he said bitterly.

I sighed loudly, "James, I am in no mood to rehash old grudges. You seem to think you are entitled to something you are not. Each of us are given our lot in life, what we choose to do with it, shapes who we are. The living my father intended for you would have seen you well provided for, but it was too much work so you refused it."

His faced hardened. "You have no idea what it is like to struggle, to have so little means to live off of, yet having been exposed to the wealth of your family." He scoffed before continuing, "You could have shared with me, and it is not as if you would have missed it."

"And why would I do that? Support the man who would gamble the money away with in weeks, and then inevitably demand more." I narrowed my eyes, "Or to a man who would stoop so low as to try and seduce and ruin a girl who was like a sister to him."

He shrunk back in fear, "You have no idea the damage you have wrought, James, nor do I think you really care."

"Why are you really here?"

"I have come the set right a wrong, the girl you have upstairs? Miss Victoria Swan." He paled at the mention of her name. "Has family anxiously trying to locate her."

"How..."

"How I know is irrelevant. What is relevant is how you will atone for the situation you find yourself in."

"That is none of your business, Masen," he hissed. "I am my own man and will not be forced to do anything."

I smirked, he was leading himself exactly where I wanted him.

"Then, I suppose, all those merchants to whom you owe money won't be banging on your door if they knew where you were currently hiding?"

"I intend to pay my debts. I just needed some time to resolve some issues, and the pressure was getting to be too much to bear."

Jasper laughed harshly, "Pressure? James... James." he shook his head.

"What is it you want, Edward?"

"Well first I would like to speak with Miss Victoria."

He laughed, "By all means, if you can convince the little chit to leave, so much the better."

I grimaced, "Jasper will keep you company while I'm away."

James swallowed thickly, as Jasper shot him a menacing grin.

I climbed the stairs once more and knocked on the door.

She seemed to take her time in answering, finally the door opened.

"Mr. Masen!" she said with alarm, her eyes searching behind me.

"I am alone. If you are worried your father is with me, he is not."

She looked at me suspiciously. "He sent you didn't he... to bring me home?"

"I am here on his behalf." I lied.

She giggled, "You can tell him I will come home when I am ready. I am very happy here with James, and you will not take him away from me," she added seriously.

I stepped into the room and took survey of their living arrangements. Paper and bottles were scattered everywhere. I looked closer at Victoria; she looked wild and absolutely dirty.

"You really think you are happy? Living in squalor?"

"That's not James' fault. It's the mean nasty men who are jealous of him. He will get everything straighten out soon and then we will marry. You wait and see."

I fought back the laugh that was threatening to burst out.

"And what of your mother and sisters? Did you not think of them when you ran away? I can tell you they are very worried, Isabella in particular."

"My mother will be very pleased I have landed myself such a handsome husband, besides..."

She paused for a moment, as if something just occurred to her. "And why would my sister tell you anything? She despises you."

Her words stung, and although I knew it was not the case at present, it still hurt to know just how little she thought of me not too long ago.

"Will you leave of your own accord?" I demanded, growing tired of this conversation.

"I will not leave my James, and you can tell that to anyone who asks."

"Very well, you may get your wish after all, though I can't say I would wish it on anyone, even you."

With those final words, I turned and quit the room. My head pounded, and I knew there was still more to be done. If Victoria would not leave on her own free will, there was no other option but for them to marry.

Lord, help me.

I smirked when I re-entered the room and saw James cowering as far away from Jasper as he could get. Almost as if he knew I had failed, he grinned, "A loyal little thing, isn't she?" he said smugly.

"I suppose, I can't imagine why though, unless..." I glared at him, "You do intend on marring her don't you?"

James barked out a loud laugh, "Marry her? Whatever for? Even if I wanted to she has no money. I may be in a ruff patch but I'm not that desperate."

"Are you not?" I raised my eyebrow.

He waved his hand, "I still plan on finding a wealthy woman with a substantial dowry, and I wouldn't throw it all away on that girl upstairs."

His words were so calculated and callous. Is this what he thought when he went after Alice? I looked over at Jasper, who could barley conceal his rage and disgust.

"That may no longer be an option, James."

"And why is that?" he asked with a smirk.

"You have compromised a gentleman's daughter, one whom is not wholly unconnected. I'm afraid I cannot allow you to walk away."

"Really? You think you can force me?"

"Well, debtors prison is a nasty place, James, but I would be more concerned with your neck."

He narrowed his eyes, "And why would I need to be concerned with my neck?"

Jasper began chuckling.

James looked at him, "May I ask what you find so amusing, Colonel Whitlock?"

Oh, this was going to be sweet.

"I can't imagine how you are so calm right now in the presence of a superior officer, Lieutenant Wickham." He spoke calmly but with authority, "Considering you are currently a deserter from his majesty's armed forces."

James shrank back into his chair, his hand shook ever so slightly. He opened his mouth several times as if he intended to speak, but nothing came.

We had him.

"You... you wouldn't." he rasped out.

His fear was real it was as if he hadn't even considered it as a possibility.

"You will find I am very short on forgiveness where you are concerned."

Seeing him muttering to himself, I decided to end our discussion for the night.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

Wanting James to think on his current predicament, we left him with instructions that we would return tomorrow. Jasper made it clear that the building was being watched, and if he decided to flee he would be apprehended on the spot.

Upon returning home, I ate what little I could stomach before climbing the stairs to wash the grime from my body. The emotional and intellectual strains of the day had drained me.

I lowered myself into the hot water and began to wash away any remnants of the day. I had spent more time in that mans company than I ever wanted to.

Letting my head rest against the basin, I thought of Isabella.

What was she doing right now?

She would be home by now, in the comforts of familiar surroundings with people she loved. Yet I wanted to be the one comforting her, instead I was here trying to reason with a man who would sooner hang to spite me than ever do the right thing.

I wanted to resolve this as quickly as possible, if nothing else to make her smile again.

Crawling into bed, I braced myself for a fitful night of sleep.

The journey back to East Shadwell was tense. I tired to brace myself knowing whatever James demanded would be ridiculous.

The coach stopped, and I drew in a deep breath and turned to Jasper, "One way or another today I am finished with this man."

He nodded and we exited the coach and entered the Inn.

"Gentleman." The innkeeper greeted us, "Your friend is waiting for you in the same room you occupied yesterday."

I bristled at his use of the term _friend._James Wickham was hardly a friend. "Thank you, Sir."

"Good morning Gentleman," James greeted us enthusiastically as we enter the room.

Why was he so happy? His attitude immediately put me on my guard.

"I suppose," I responded cautiously.

We took our seats and waited for him to speak.

"I have been giving a lot of thought to what we spoke about last night. And have decided I am willing to negotiate."

I breathed an internal sigh of relief.

"I am willing to redeem the Swan's good name but at a price." he paused looking at me with a smirk.

I sighed, knowing his first offer would be ridiculous.

"In order for me to bind myself forever to the young lady, I required the sum of twenty thousand pounds and your assurance I will not hang."

"Twenty thousand pounds? That is ridiculous, James. I knew you were a fool but even that is more than I thought you'd dare ask for."

"It is what I would have made had you not foiled my plans with Alice."

I reacted immediately, standing to grab him by the neck, only I wasn't quick enough. Jasper had him by the throat before I was even out of my seat.

"You dare speak her name. Your plan was nothing more than to compromise an innocent girl for the sake of money! I should kill you for that!" he spat.

James grinned wickedly, "But then the young lady upstairs will be lost."

"Enough!" I bellowed.

"You have no ground on which to stand, James. Do you not realize your future rests in my hands? Do not trifle with me, James, for I am not in the disposition to deal with a stupid man."

"No... Please. I'll take ten thousand that seems more reasonable."

Jasper had released him, but his fury was far from satisfied.

"Ten thousand pounds?" Jasper said incredulously.

I mulled it over in my mind, trying to deciding what the best course of action was.

"Of course, I would be willing to go as low as five. You see, I found Miss Isabella was always pleased to accept my attention, and you know we were always good friends. From our first moments we would walk together, and the conversation was very pleasant. Not to mention..." he trailed off.

Jasper grasped my arm in a gesture meant to calm my demeanor.

It wasn't working.

"I would be willing to marry Isabella instead. I'm sure Victoria would be able to find a husband in time and I always did find Isabella rather... alluring."

Blinking repeatedly, looking at him in disbelief. My Isabella? His vial words sounded in my ears, the insult was overwhelming my better judgment.

Looking at my childhood friend I was astonished to find I had really never known him. Was he really stupid enough to believe I would allow such a thing?

He was nothing more than a stranger and I was finished with him.

This revelation caused me to begin laughing darkly. The look of astonishment on not only James' face but Jasper's caused me to explain.

"James, I must apologize for what you must perceive as rudeness. But until this moment I have never truly understood what a complete and utter fool you are."

James eyes widened in astonishment. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, come now, James. Only a great fool would insult, on purpose, a man who has the power to send him to a debtors prison, or the gallows for that matter, if he pleased. And only an incredible fool would try my patience by insulting the woman I intend to marry."

I stood, "I will be back this evening to collect you, in that time you may choose your second."

His face paled at the meaning of my words. "You can't be serious, Masen; dueling is illegal! You'd risk yourself for those people?"

"I have stood by as you have left a path of ruin behind you. I sat here in good faith giving you a chance at redemption. Not only did you disrespect the woman whose virtue you so callously stole, but you disrespected my sister and Miss Isabella as well."

"You are serious," he said slightly awed.

He recovered enough to look smugly at me as he made his request. "Very well, but as the challenger I get to choose the weapon."

I smirked at his misplaced confidence, "Agreed."

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

Seated at my writing desk, I penned a letter to Alice and Isabella. Knowing that anything could happen in a duel, I made sure that both would be adequately cared for. Isabella would no doubt argue, but I set aside a small fortune for her to do with as she pleased. Pemberley would pass to Alice; I took comfort knowing she would be looked after well.

I leaned against the window looking out at the people below. The sky was darkening as heavy clouds slowly moved across the London Skyline. A summer storm was brewing.

How fitting.

Sighing, I pushed away from the window and walked toward a heavy oak chest on the far side of my chambers. I knelt in front and gently ran my fingers along the edge, feeling for the hidden latch. The carved inlay was heavy and it was often hard to find the small metal knob. I felt something cool under my fingers and stopped, wrapped my fingers around it and pulled gently.

With and audible click the chest opened.

I lifted the lid and peered at the contents. Memories from a life time ago flooded my mind.

The chest had belonged to my father and his father before that. It had been a gift from the Duke of Devonshire. Piece by piece I searched, finally I found them. Carefully, I lifted them from the chest setting them on the floor beside me.

I stared at the two boxes both identical in color and bore our family crest. Below the crest was an inscription I hadn't noticed before. Written in script was the phrase, _Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam._

_It is better to suffer an injustice than to do an injustice._

The motto seemed fitting considering everything that had happened. Dueling was never to be entered into lightly, the end result was never guaranteed; but I had stood by for too long.

It was time.

I opened the smaller box which contained a set of dueling pistols. I couldn't recall them ever being used, but on closer inspection I could see they had been fired before.

The second box was much longer. I lifted the lid and pulled back the cloth; nestled in a cushion of velvet was my fathers sword.

I lifted it from the box and marveled at its construction. The hilt was sturdy and yet was not overly heavy or ornate, and was perfectly balanced with the blade.

Time it seemed had not dulled the blade, it was as if it had just left the blacksmiths.

I returned the sword and gathered the boxes, closing the lid to the chest.

**~I~I~I~**

"Have you selected a location?" I asked Jasper as we set off.

"I have, there is a park not far which will allow some discretion."

"On my desk you will find a bundle of letters. I am charging you with the delivery of them should anything run a foul."

He sighed, "I understand, Edward." His expression became serious, "However, for the sake two young ladies, I hope I never have to."

"I completely agree, Jasper."

We rode in mostly silence.

"Edward, I believe he will choose the sword, thinking his meager military training would give him an advantage."

I nodded, expecting as much. "James was good with a sword as a youth, but never had the will to apply himself."

"Agreed, and that is why you must not react to anything he might say."

This surprised me, "What do you mean?"

"Come now, Edward, surely you know that by throwing down such a challenge, directly after his remarks about Isabella..." I looked at him in confusion. "Edward! You handed him a very powerful weapon."

"I hadn't..." I tried to defend myself.

"Of course you didn't, you were acting on instinct. But knowing James as we do, he will use whatever he can to throw his opponent off balance. I am afraid in your case he will try and use Isabella."

"That is not acceptable!" I snarled. "She is not a prize to be bandied across a playing field!"

"You see, you are reacting already, this will give James the opportunity to strike."

I tried to argue but he cut me off, "Emotion should never be used in exacting judgment, only principles."

"You are right, it is so difficult to put everything aside."

"It shouldn't be, Edward. I know for a fact master Giovanni taught you well."

I sat back and contemplated what Jasper had said. Could I set aside my emotions? Allow only my sense to serve justice guide my actions?

I would, for Isabella.

The carriage came to a stop at an unfamiliar park. I followed along side Jasper, as my man carried the boxes of weapons behind us.

"If we are lucky, the rain will hold off a little while longer."

I looked up at the sky, the dark clouds now completely enveloped the city.

Rounding a bend, we found ourselves secluded in a grove of tree's and greenery.

"Who did you entrust to collect Wickham?"

"I didn't have much of a choice, the Major General wanted that honor."

I could hear voices in the distant, slowly become louder. When suddenly a large group of soldiers appeared from the opposite end.

Upon reaching their destination, they began to file into a line flanking both ends of the field. Directly behind them walked the Major General. I waited, knowing James would not be far behind, and soon enough, he appeared with a gangly looking man, followed by yet another group of soldiers.

The soldiers all stood at attention as the major general approached, "Good evening, Edward," he greeted. "A fine situation you've got yourself into. I am here in your fathers stead to assure his only son is not killed lest he haunt me 'til I die."

I chuckled, "Thank you, Sir, I am willing to bet James was not thrilled with the escort."

"No, indeed, he was not. I have a feeling he planned on running."

I narrowed my eyes in James direction. The coward.

The major general turned to address his men. "At ease gentleman, this is a duel of honor. I am aware that in the eyes of the law dueling is illegal." He paused turning to face James. "Lieutenant Wickham has chosen to desert his post in His Majesty's military. These are crimes in which death is a certain fate."

He turned again to his soldiers, "You are charged with ensuring that regardless of the outcome, Lieutenant Wickham is brought to justice."

I looked at James, who was staring at the General with a look of utter loathing.

We stepped forward as did James.

Jasper was familiar with dueling having been a second to fellow officers. I felt more at ease knowing he was on my side. In the case of my opponent it was obvious the second James had brought was nothing more than an ignorant by-standard.

Stepping onto the field, the Major General spoke loudly, "Gentlemen, this is duel of honor, to which Mr. Masen stands as the insulted party. I will be acting as Master of the Field." He looked at James, "Lieutenant Wickham you will please choose the weapon."

James looked at me and smirked, "The sword."

_Predictable._

"Very Well, you will present you weapons for inspection."

I signaled for my man to hand me my sword, in which I held out for inspection. When James second did nothing, James nudged his man forward. "Go on then, make sure its fit."

Shrugging out of my jacket, I turned and handed it to my man.

Jasper was busy inspecting James' sword, but I was fascinated watching this man try and handle a weapon it was obvious he had never handled previously.

"It looks good ter me," his eyes brightened when a though occurred to him, "yer thinks I can have it when he's dead?"

I raised my eyebrow in question. James quickly told the mad to shut up and get back to the far end of the field.

Satisfied, Jasper returned the sword to James and we took our positions on the field.

"Gentleman," The Major General spoke. "Are the weapons satisfactory?" Both Jasper and James' second affirmed.

I took my sword in hand and swiped it through the air before saluting my opponent.

"Then Gentleman, before we begin I must ask if either of you will agree to a resolution to this dispute without it resulting in arms.

Jasper looked at me and I shook my head. "No sir." Jasper replied.

The major General looked at James' man who was not paying attention. "And you sir?" James turned to look at the min disgust didn't even bother to correct him. "No sir." he replied.

"Very well, as this affair is one of honor, it is expected that both parties involved conduct themselves accordingly. As Master of the field it is my duty to ensure the duel is fought in such a matter where the rules and honor of those involved are not violated. Any violation will result in such actions as I see fit." his voice held a deadly edge.

I took my stance.

**~I~I~I~**

**Colonel J. Whitlock**

I was not a praying man. Although I respected God, it wasn't often I felt the need to speak with Him. This evening was different.

Watching with trepidation as the scene in front of me unfolded, I prayed fervently that Edward would come out of this alive. I knew without a doubt Alice would not survive the heartbreak of loosing her brother this way.

And so I looked on and prayed.

Thunder rumbled loudly in the distance, the faint glow of lightning lit up the sky as it flashed angrily towards the ground.

It was like an omen, as if fate had finally caught up with Wickham.

"En Garde," The Major General bellowed. "Begin."

Edward attacked, his quick movements surprised James, catching him unaware. The attack left James unable to recover in time to parry Edward, who took a quick swipe at his neck, the blade came mere inches from his flesh.

I knew enough of Edward's skill to know he had missed on purpose, however, his reasoning eluded me. Was this a design to throw James off his intended target? James attempted to block the thrust but was too late, leaving himself exposed. With amazing precision, Edward brought his sword back quickly and grazed the left side of James' neck.

Surprised, he jumped back putting his hand to his neck his mouth hung open slightly upon seeing the blood on his hands.

"I warned you, James; did you think it an idle threat?" Edward snarled.

James narrowed his eyes and lunged at Edward, who parried his thrust easily.

The lunge was ill timed and caused James to stumble slightly, once he had righted himself he stared at Edward with a look of absolute loathing. "I suppose it felt false considering the people you were referring to are so far beneath your notice." He taunted.

_Remain calm Edward, _I pleaded inwardly.

They continued to advance, neither giving the other anything significant. Both blades were only a blur as they were in constant motion. It seemed that Edward was trying to wear him down. When fencing with a foil, quick thrusts at ones intended target was preferred, but this was not practice and the end of the blade was not blunt.

Panting for breath, James glared at Edward, who only smirked in return.

"You know, Edward, upon closer inspection of my future, I really do feel Isabella would be the better choice for me. After all, she has such a wild spirit about her. I have little doubt she make an enthusiastic lover. Once she is properly broken," he grinned as he moved backwards quickly.

"He's not the brightest is he?" the Major General leaned in to whisper.

I shook my head in disbelief, "No, I dare say he truly wants to die."

I watched for Edward's outburst knowing he would become enraged but, it never came. Only a look of cold disgust graced his features.

"A fool indeed, James." Edward chuckled darkly.

I thought Edwards fury was a sight to behold, but this... this was calm and deadly.

He stood still for a moment, his gaze fixed upon his opponent. Edward's attack came all at once, his movements were brief, yet precise. It almost seemed effortless for him as each time he brought his sword back, he came perilously close to James' chest. One thrust actually tore the fragile muslin of his shirt.

Weary, James retreated for a moment, his eyes roamed over to the circle of soldiers who stood at attention, blocking any escape.

"You will give me what I deserve, Edward; that money is rightfully mine." James growled.

Edward chuckled darkly, "The bequeathing of money is not a right, James. It has to be earned. Had my father not deemed me worthy, he would have left Pemberley to someone else."

"I doubt it," James added flippantly, "You always were good at hiding your true self behind that haughty exterior. You're a spineless, selfish man, who abandoned his sister to the care of others and then became offended when someone took notice of her."

It all happened rather quickly, James saw that his words had indeed affected Edward and seized the opportunity to strike. I watched in horror as James' sword came across Edwards chest. From my angle I was unable to see the damage. So focused was I on Edward, that I had failed to see Edwards response. As James had lunged forward to attack, Edward had raised his sword, which pierced him through the heart.

Staggering back, Edward withdrew his sword from James' chest, I watched as James eyes widened in terror, no doubt to due to the viscous and unexpected blow to his chest. For just a moment he seemed ... confused, as if the possibility of loosing had not occurred to him. Staggering for only a moment, his body finally gave way and crumpled to the ground.

We watched as James succumbed to his wound, the hatred never leaving his eyes.

James Wickham, Lieutenant in his Majesties armed forces, philander, and dishonorable gentleman was dead.


	27. Aftermath

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

* * *

I winced as I bent down to retrieve an item that had dropped onto the floor. For the thousandth time in a fortnight, I cursed my stupidity for allowing James to distract me long enough to get such good shot at me.

The aftermath had been a blur.

I remember stumbling backward after James had fallen. I watched in horror as his eyes closed, the blood stain on my blade confirmed what my brain could not comprehend.

James was dead.

And it was at my hand.

It was still hard for me to come to the realization I was free of him. He had haunted my steps for so long.

James' death almost seemed anticlimactic now, compared to the mess his death created.

The days immediately following were tense and stressful. Couple that with my foolish injury, and I was now drained of much of my strength.

**~I~I~I~**

Jasper had taken me home and called the physician, who said I was very fortunate. The wound had cut deep into my flesh, but had not gone any further. I was told the wound would heal nicely, however a scar would remain.

A permanent reminder.

Once I had been bandaged, we traveled over to the Cullen residence. I waited in the carriage as Jasper fetched Mr. Cullen. I couldn't chance that Mr. Swan would still be there and recognize me.

It appeared, after a considerable amount of time had passed, that Mr. Swan was not at home. Jasper returned with Mr. Cullen following close behind. He shook my hand and thanked me profusely, to which I merely replied it was not yet over.

We needed to fetch Victoria.

The Cullens followed behind in their own carriage.

Jasper said Mr. Cullen had tried to discourage his wife from traveling to such a dangerous part of London, but she had glared at him and said, 'If my niece is there, then it can mean nothing to me.'

He made the wise choice and allowed her to accompany us.

When we arrived I saw Mrs. Cullen struggle as she took in her surroundings. Upon entering the inn, I made my way over to the man behind the desk to settle James' account. It was the least I could for this man who had been very helpful in ensuring James had not fled. He informed me the young lady had refused to eat and had not left the room. I thanked him and paid him for his trouble. We climbed the steps to the third floor quickly and knocked on the door. No one answered, and after a moment Mr. Cullen tried the door. It was unlocked, and they quickly entered the room, calling her name.

The room was every bit as messy as it had been the first time I had come here. The Cullens walked back toward the bedroom and opened the door. Mrs. Cullen gasped in horror, and by the look on her face I'd say if James wasn't dead, he would have received an earful from her for his treatment of her niece.

Seated by the open window in nothing but a night shirt, was Victoria.

She turned to look at who had entered but didn't really acknowledge us. She turned back toward the window and whispered, "He's dead, isn't he?"

Jasper and I retreated to the other room, leaving the Cullens to help her.

Mr. Cullen retreated after a moment, shutting the door behind him.

"I never imagined... how could he have treated her in such a vile, disgusting manner?" The anger was evident in his voice. "It's bad enough that he compromised her, but to force her to live in filth!" He stated pointing to the current state of the room. "She told my wife she hasn't bathed in over a week."

His tirade was cut short when the door opened to the other room. Victoria emerged, her head hung and her eyes fixed on the ground. We watched as the two woman walked by in silence. We followed, lending assistance when needed. Once we reached the carriage, the coachman assisted the ladies into the coach with the help of Mr. Cullen.

In a whisper Victoria spoke, "My things, Aunt, I believe they are still at Brighton." Mrs. Cullen shushed her telling her they had already been sent to their home and not to worry.

Mr. Cullen thanked us again, and it was then that Jasper spoke up. "Mr. Cullen, I would like the opportunity to offer a solution to helping your niece. If it is agreeable, may we call tomorrow morning?"

Mr. Cullen eyed him speculatively, as did I. "That will be agreeable, shall we say ten o'clock?"

Jasper nodded, and we parted ways.

I waited until we were safely in the carriage before asking him his plan.

"There is a fellow Colonel in a regiment up North, at Newcastle. He has never married, nor had any inclination to marry. I received a letter a few months back in which he lamented his decision to wait so long to marry. He asked my advice and said he would be open to anyone with 'a pretty face.'" I chuckled a little, wincing when I felt the sting from my wound.

"I will write him and ask him to come to London to meet Victoria. If all goes wells they can marry and return to Newcastle within the month."

"Jasper, what makes you think he will want a woman who has been compromised? Not to mention her foolish and grating attitude."

He laughed at my comment. "Edward, Riley has a reputation as one of the strictest commanders in the army. He is often sent those soldiers who need a bit of shaping up. I have no doubt Victoria will learn very quickly how to behave properly." He paused for a moment. "As for your other concern, his sister was compromised much the same way Victoria was. The family forced them to marry and she died not too long after."

I considered what he had told me for a moment, it seemed like a very good option. "And what if he is not agreeable? Or she is not for that matter?"

Jasper shrugged. "Her fate rests with Mr. Swan. He needs to decide whether to provide for her or sever ties."

The harsh reality of Victoria's choices made it seem as if marrying a stranger would not be so horrible after all. "Perhaps I could provide her with a five thousand pound dowry."

Jasper agreed, "Although his financial situation is good, it will make the arrangement more appealing."

"Listen to us, Jasper, it's as if we are getting an unwanted mare ready to sell."

He looked shocked for a moment, and then began shaking his head. "The situation is sadly of her own making. I hope she appreciates the length to which you are going to secure her future."

"My hopes, in that regard, are not high. Victoria Swan has shown time and time again how little sense she possesses."

Isabella's face once again appeared in my thoughts. "I am doing this for Isabella alone. I do not plan on her family ever knowing of my involvement."

Jasper quirked an eyebrow in question. "And how do you propose to keep them from the particulars? Especially when it involves their daughter?"

"Mr. Cullen has already agreed to keep my part silent. I do not want Mr. Swan to accept my suit based on gratitude."

"I wish you the best, though I have a feeling they will find out anyway." He laughed heartily.

**~I~I~I~**

The meeting with Mr. Cullen had gone better than planned. He, of course, argued that it should be her family's responsibility to bear the financial burden. I, however, was stubborn and insisted on taking care of the monetary situation. It was no more than I would have paid out, if she had married Wickham. In fact, it was substantially less. Jasper intended to write his friend immediately and acquaint him with the situation. If all went well he would be in London within the week.

The situation had gone well, until we were leaving. We passed through the sitting room where Mrs. Cullen and Victoria sat.

Victoria's head was lowered, and her stare was fixed firmly on the floor. I thanked Mrs. Cullen for allowing us to detain her husband. She responded, thanking us for helping her poor niece. Turning to her niece she asked that she thank me as well. At the mention of her name, Victoria raised her head and looked at me with utter contempt.

Her words I shall never forget.

"Thank you, Mr. Masen," she said stiffly before looking down once more. Her aunt shook her head and we turned to leave.

"How does it feel to be a murderer?" she hissed. "You are a cruel man, just as Isabella described."

I turned swiftly to face her.

"Victoria, silence yourself!" her aunt admonished.

"No, Aunt I will speak my mind."

"How could you? I loved him!" She raised her hands. balled up into tiny fists, her face contorted in wild rage. "I loved him!" she screamed. "And you took him from me."

Knowing no good would come from a continued confrontation, I apologized and left the house immediately.

**~I~I~I~I~I~**

I sat down in my chair gently. The wound was healing slowly, yet thus far had shown no signs of infection. I expected Jasper at any moment with his friend.

I heard a light knock at the door and called for them to enter.

"A Mr. McCarty is here to see you, sir. Shall I show him in?"

Emmett was in town?

"Certainly, thank you."

"Edward!" Emmett boomed as he entered my study. "What in the devil's name is going on? I came by to see you and everyone is mum's the word on your whereabouts."

He sat in the seat opposite a huge grin on his face.

I chuckled; it was good to see Emmett smile once more.

"My sole purpose in coming to town was business; I wanted to remain as anonymous as possible."

Looking confused, he went silent for a moment. "I see. Well, I only came to invite you to join me when I reopen Netherfield." He smiled. "I have made plans to travel into Hertfordshire in a week, and I would appreciate it if you would join me."

"I would be happy to join you, Emmett." I truly was, then another thought occurred to me. "Your sisters won't be joining us, will they?"

Emmett laughed. "No, Edward, you are safe on that score. I escorted Tanya to Scarborough where she will be spending the winter. I told her if she behaves I might bring her to town in the spring."

I chuckled mirthlessly. "I can only imagine how she took that."

"As well as you would expect from Tanya. She demanded I take her back to town. When I refused she went into an absolute rage. Our relatives threatened to commit her if she didn't calm down."

We laughed together, it felt good to see Emmett so carefree again.

"Do you intend on courting Miss Rosalie?

"I have no firm plans in that regard. I am not certain she will even want to see me," he lamented sadly.

I knew, from what Isabella had told me in Kent, that Rosalie had very strong feelings for Emmett. I wasn't certain this was still true, however he wouldn't have closure until they met again. "Emmett, just be the attentive gentleman I know you are and have a little faith things will work out."

He looked at me, slightly shocked. "Did you say have faith? Where is my pessimistic friend Edward Masen? Because the man before me could not possibly be him."

I grimaced, knowing he was right. No doubt my old self would have told him to cut his losses and be grateful for his escape. "I have spent much of my time since April reflecting on my life and where it was headed." I turned to peer out the window, hopeful as I stared at the blossoms which lined the pane. "I found... I didn't like where it was headed."

Turning back to Emmett, I smiled at his open mouthed expression. "Introspection is hard, yet I find the rewards are well worth the pain."

"Listen to us; we sound like a bunch of old men. Wise beyond our years." he chuckled.

"When will you travel into Hertfordshire?"

"I planned on leaving immediately, will that do?" he asked, unsure.

I cursed my luck. The negotiations were not set and I would not travel to Hertfordshire until everything had been dealt with.

"I am not sure when my business will be concluded. It may be a few weeks before I could join you," I stated apologetically.

Emmett thought for a moment, "I would rather arrive with a companion, however I don't think I can wait that long. Perhaps if I delayed a week before traveling, I could then open the house before your arrival."

"Would you wait then to call on your neighbors?"

"I am not sure if I would feel comfortable meeting with them until I am sure of my reception. Perhaps it would be possible to inform people it is a shoot party only. At least that wouldn't raise expectations."

"True." I conceded. "That seems an excellent plan, Emmett. I will join you as soon as my business concludes here."

He stood and shook my hand vigorously. "Thank you, Edward."

As he walked through the door he called back to me over his shoulder, "I'll expect you in a few weeks."

**~I~I~I~**

"Edward!" Jasper greeted me as he was shown into the room, followed by a serious-looking gentleman. "May I introduce Colonel Riley Crawford."

Colonel Crawford held out his hand, and I took it happily. "Welcome, Colonel. I hope your journey was not too dreadful."

"Not at all. I was intrigued by the letter I received from Jasper," he responded with a neutral expression.

"You are welcome to stay in my home during your time in London," I offered, hoping to break the tension.

He smiled. "Thank you, but Jasper has already offered his home."

I nodded, and we began talking about the impending meeting with the Cullens. We were to meet with them in their home this evening. It would be Colonel Crawford's chance to observe Victoria and make her acquaintance. I hoped that by now Victoria understood just what was at stake for not only her, but her family as well.

We arrived early to the Cullens', but were assured it was of no consequence. Mr. and Mrs. Cullen seemed relaxed, which I took as a positive sign. Perhaps they had been able to talk some sense into that girl.

"Mr. Masen, might I have a word with you for a moment?" Mrs. Cullen gently inquired.

"Of course." I turned to the gentlemen. "Please excuse me."

She led me to another sitting room, in which I was surprised to see her niece seated with her head bent demurely and her hands folded in her lap.

"Mr. Masen, I hope you will forgive me, but my niece wanted to speak with you."

I gulped, remembering our last meeting and how it did not go well.

"Go ahead, Victoria."

She raised her head, and I was struck with just how young and lost she looked.

_Much the same as Alice._

"I would like to apologize for my rude behavior to you, Mr. Masen. I appreciate what you have done for me."

I looked at her and detected nothing but sincere regret.

"I understand more than you know. I accept your apology, and hope you can salvage your reputation as well as that of your family. It's a large burden to bear, but it is never too late to turn your life around." I smiled, thinking of Isabella. "Your sister taught me that."

She looked at me, her eyes brimming with tears, and simply nodded.

I excused myself and rejoined the rest of the party.

Not long after, Miss Victoria was introduced and we all waited in anticipation.

At first, Colonel Crawford seemed to only observe her. I looked at Jasper who merely grinned.

_What could he possible see in this situation to grin about?_

As the evening wore on, I was becoming more frustrated with the lack of communication between the two. Finally, I asked Jasper just what he found to be so funny.

"Edward," he whispered. "Look at how he watches her. His eyes follow her every movement."

I looked again and saw how he observed her.

How could I have missed it?

Seeing the recognition on my face, he chuckled. "Relax, have a little faith."

_Faith. _The irony of the situation was just too much, and I began laughing.

I looked over at the pair who were quietly engaged in conversation. He seemed attentive to her and smiled as she spoke. Even more surprising was Victoria's changed personality. Gone was the flirtatious girl and in her place a shy, unassuming young woman.

I had seen this before. Alice had not been as unruly as Victoria, instead she was lively and welcoming. Both girls spirits had been crushed by the mistreatment wrought on them by James.

When the evening came to a conclusion, Colonel Crawford asked permission to call again tomorrow. Victoria smiled and agreed.

It was a good beginning, and for the first night in many weeks I slept soundly.

**~I~I~I~ **

Everything was progressing better than I could have hoped for. Colonel Crawford had officially asked for Miss Victoria's hand. Her uncle, acting on behalf of her father, consented to the match. My relief was palpable as Mr. Cullen penned the letter to his brother detailing the arrangements for the marriage.

In a week's time they would be married, and I could make preparations to travel into Hertfordshire.

In my haste I had forgotten my mothers ring at Pemberley. Not wanting to waste time traveling to Pemberley, and then Hertfordshire, I arranged for it to be brought into London.

Needing to calm my restlessness, I decided some fresh air and a walk in the park would do me good. As I stepped out side the oppressive heat of a London summer hit me, and I began to sweat immediately.

I walked along the sidewalk toward the park.

The air felt hot and sticky, and soon I was questioning why I had decided a walk would be a good idea in the first place. It was no wonder everyone vacated London for the comfort of their country estates.

As I entered the park I spotted a fountain. Eager for any measure of relief, I sat on the bench and relished the cool spray which would occasionally blow in my direction.

I relaxed and began to ponder the reception I would receive at Longbourn.

Mrs. Cullen had related a conversation she had with her niece as they journeyed back to Hertfordshire.

"_Mr. Masen, please forgive my impertinences, but I feel the need to relate you with Isabella's feelings on this matter. She was very distraught upon leaving Derbyshire, and it is no doubt due to the current situation involving her sister."_

"_Mrs. Cullen..." But she held up her hand, asking that I allow her to finish._

"_She is very loyal, almost to a fault, and is ready to give you up in the event this ends badly."_

I remember standing there dumbfounded. How could she doubt my constancy and affection? Did she not know I would do anything for her?

I had killed for her.

I would have to live with that, and I readily accepted that. But to have it be for naught? That was unacceptable.

Sighing to myself, I stood and walked back to my townhouse.

As I entered, my house keeper took one took at me and shook her head.

"Sir, you look a fright! A cool bath would do you good. Your letters are in you study in the event you are expecting something important."

"Thank you," I replied sincerely.

As I wasn't expecting any news, I decided to take my housekeeper's advice and have a bath. An hour later, I came downstairs feeling refreshed and in a better disposition.

I worked my way through the letters, not surprised by any one in particular, until I happened upon a letter from Emmett.

Curious as to how the opening of his estate was progressing, I opened and read with haste.

The more I read the more astonished I became.

"Emmett, you old dog!" I spoke aloud to the empty room, and proceeded to laugh at his boldness.

_Edward, _

_The opening of Netherfield went better than expected. My man arranged to have all the previous servants re-employed. There seems to be no animosity to my visit, and for that I am relived. The shooting is excellent, and I am eager for your arrival._

_I have some wonderful news, I have been called on by all the neighbors and welcomed. It is more than I deserve based on my hasty departure. Unable to wait any longer, I called on Mr. Swan and met with the ladies at Longbourn. After traveling home to an empty house I resolved to visit Longbourn the next morning. I knew it was a bold gesture, but I could no longer wait to tell her how I felt. My angel has consented to be my wife, making me the happiest of men. You are still expected and welcome at Netherfield. I hope to see you in a week's time._

_Your friend,_

_Emmett McCarty_

**~I~I~I~**

The wedding had been a small affair. Consisting of the bride's aunt and uncle, myself and Jasper. For the groom, a hand full of fellow officers traveled from different locations to attend.

Victoria seemed content, and I hoped they would be happy together.

The newlyweds were to travel into Hertfordshire tomorrow, and then onto Newcastle the following day. Weary from the day's activities, I excused myself after the luncheon.

The emotional toll from the past several weeks had left me drained. I wanted nothing more than to fall into my bed and sleep until morning.

My carriage stopped away from my home. Curious as to why, I looked out and saw a familiar crest emboldened on the carriage parked outside my home.

_What could possibly bring her to London in the summer?_

Sighing, I walked past her coach and into my home.

"Mr. Masen, you have a visitor in the drawing room. I told her you were not at home, but she insisted on waiting." Her expression told me all I needed to know.

"Very well, thank you."

I walked slowly toward the drawing room, knowing whatever reason brought her to London would surely have her upset.

"Lady Irina, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

She was seated across the room. I looked for Kate, but didn't see her anywhere.

"Nephew," she responded soberly.

I was suddenly worried that her unexpected appearance had something to do with Kate.

"Pray tell me, is Kate well?"

"Oh yes, Kate is very well." She waved dismissively, as she stood and began to pace the room.

Her posture was stiff and her face grim; this could only mean she was extremely agitated.

"The impudence! I don't even know where to begin. I have never been treated in such a disrespectful manner in my entire life!" she bellowed.

I mentally sighed. Whoever had offended my aunt surely was now cowering in a corner somewhere.

"The impertinence of that young woman is not to be borne."

I was confused... young woman?

"Young woman, Aunt?"

"Yes, I received a report of an alarming nature two days ago. That not only was Miss Swan to be most advantageously married, but that you, my nephew, would soon be engaged to Miss Isabella Swan."

My mind reeled with how anyone could have possible been made aware of our engagement. Especially my aunt. It was then that her earlier statement struck me.

"What do you mean by the impertinence of the young woman? Did you speak with Miss Isabella?" I prayed that was not the case.

"I most certainly did!" She scowled. "And to think I invited her into my home, and this is how she repays my kindness!"

Her tirade continued, and I knew I needed to remain calm in order to find out exactly what happened.

"What did you ask her, Aunt?" I asked in a low voice.

"I demanded that she refute such a ridiculous rumor. And do you know what she said? It wasn't any of my business." Her hand flailed through the air as her agitation grew. "Ungrateful, selfish, girl! She had the audacity to tell me she would not confirm the engagement and if you did not object, my feelings on the matter meant nothing."

_Oh, Isabella. What you must have suffered._

"She is right, Aunt," I said coldly.

She stopped moving and turned in surprise.

"My choice of bride is not your concern, nor do you have any say."

She narrowed her eyes, "May I remind you that your mother..."

"I was never told of such an arrangement by either my mother or father."

"Think of your family!" she screeched. "How could you saddle yourself and our family with such a woman who is so obviously beneath you?"

"Enough!" I bellowed. I was tired of her constant opinions and directives.

"Isabella Swan is the daughter of a gentleman. I don't consider her to be beneath me." I narrowed my eyes at her. "I am disappointed that you would try to meddle in my affairs. I am the head of the Masen family, not you."

Her eyes widened and then narrowed, "I am your nearest relation, and I have a duty to step in..."

"No, you do not have that right. And as far as I am concerned you will cease to be welcome to Pemberley. I do intend to marry Miss Swan, if she will have me."

She snorted loudly. "Of course she would. You are a match in which she could have never hoped to aspire!"

We were talking in circles; this would never be resolved until my aunt got her way.

"I must ask you to leave, Aunt. I will not stand by and listen to you insult the woman I love."

"Love?" she scoffed. "It was merely her arts and allurements which drew you in."

"Please _leave_ on your own accord, or I will have you escorted out." I stated.

Her expression darkened. "She will ruin you."

I smiled. "I don't see it that way, Aunt. Good day."

**~I~I~I~ **

The roads were dry and my journey had not taken long. I clutched the velvet pouch in my hand, becoming more nervous as we approached. Knowing it would be too late to call, I resolved it would be tomorrow morning.

Soon, My Isabella. Soon.


	28. We Are All Fools In Love

**The title for this chapter is one of my favorite lines from the movie. It is indeed true, 'We are all fools in love.'**

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

* * *

"Edward!" Emmett boomed joyfully. "I trust you slept well."

I smiled as I sat down to join him for breakfast. "I believe the weeks of business took their toll. I slept quite soundly, thank you."

"Excellent! I planned on calling at Longbourn this morning. You are welcome to join me," he added hesitantly.

I smirked, as the opportunity was exactly what I had hoped for. "I would be happy to accompany you."

"Perfect. You know, Edward, I am finding there are many advantages to being engaged."

I smiled at his joyful attitude. "Oh really? Enlighten me."

His smile grew even wider. "I am able to visit my betrothed any time I wish."

I smiled and shook my head. "That is indeed an advantage."

"Let us not waste anymore precious time. Shall we?"

"I am at your disposal, Emmett."

**~I~I~I~**

Emmett was excited as we neared Longbourn. During the entire ride, he had spoken about improvements he intended to make to the Netherfield property. He sought my opinion once or twice, but seemed to have grown in confidence since last November.

The house came into view, and I felt myself growing nervous. I wasn't sure of the reception I would receive from the Swans, and most importantly Isabella.

I had asked the Cullens and Victoria to omit any part I had in arranging for the match with Riley. I did not want her to feel bound to me out of obligation.

I could not bear that.

The duel was one subject of which I was sure she would not have any knowledge.

Instinctively, I placed my hand on my chest where the bandage lay and drew in a deep breath.

"Edward, I know the Swans can be trying. Thank you for agreeing to join me."

I looked at him in earnest. "Emmett, I am happy to accompany you."

The house came into sight, and I steeled myself.

We were met by a man-servant who took our horses. I admit I was afraid that my nerves would expose my intentions before I had a chance to speak to Mr. Swan.

Stepping through the door, the housekeeper greeted us amicably, and we followed her to the sitting room. I could hear raised voices and was worried we had come at a bad time.

"_But what is he doing here...?"_

I looked at Emmett, who appeared worried.

"Mr. McCarty and Mr. Masen, to see you Ma'am."

I looked around the room for the object of my affections. She was tucked into the corner, her eyes fixed on the floor.

"Mr. McCarty, we were not expecting you this morning, you sly thing." Mrs. Swan glided over to Emmett and showed him to his seat. After assuring he was properly situated, she turned and looked at me for a moment. With a dismissive tone, she said, "Mr. Masen, I suppose you are welcome too."

Dismissing me, she took her seat and began to prattle on about a letter she received from her youngest daughter.

I listened, with polite disinterest, as I gazed at Isabella. She had yet to meet my eye, and I was growing more fearful by the minute.

Could she have altered her opinion?

My heart clenched painfully, and I could bear it no longer. Turning to gaze out the window, I tried to calm my fears.

"I will never understand why some people fancy themselves so far above their company."

I turned to see Mrs. Swan speaking with Emmett, who looked stricken.

"It is true that her wedding was small, but it would have been much grander if she had been married from home."

"Mama," Miss Swan said, rising from her seat, "It is so lovely outside I feel the need for some fresh air and exercise."

Mrs. Swan looked at her daughter. "Oh very well, but I would much rather stay home."

She turned to Emmett. "My poor nerves, I feel I am better off here."

"Excellent!" Emmett stood. "Would any of the other Miss Swans care to join us?"

Miss Rosalie was pulling Isabella with her, while the younger girls declined.

**~I~I~I~**

We walked in uncomfortable silence, while the engaged couple ahead of us chatted happily.

I looked at Isabella several times, but never caught her eye. She seemed to be fidgeting with her gloves, causing my anxiety to increase.

I knew she was a remarkably intelligent woman, who at times could be quite passionate in defending her opinion. This docile woman beside me was a stranger, and it frightened me.

A sudden icy shiver ran up my spine.

Could she know everything?

My mind raced thinking of her words and gestures briefly before her departure from Lambton.

Had she been saying goodbye?

"Mr. Masen," she began timidly. "I have been very selfish, sir, and must beg you accept my thanks for not only my self, but my whole family. They know not to whom they are indebted."

Everything suddenly became painfully clear, and the meaning behind her words struck me to my core.

It was duty, plain and simple.

Trying to find my words I stopped, and looked at her in earnest.

"Isabella," I choked out in spite of the tears which threatened to overwhelm me. "As much as I respect your family, I believe I only thought of you. Please believe me when I say this, your suffering caused me pain as I had never in my life experienced. The death of my parents was indeed harsh, but seeing you helpless and sobbing... it was within my power to make things right and so I went, for you."

Her eyes blinked rapidly and tears fell softly down her cheeks.

"Please tell me that you still love me. For I could not bear it if you no longer cared for me."

She quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked up at me with fierce determination.

"Edward, my love for you could never change. Without you, life would be empty, tired, and lonely. I could scarcely hope that you still wanted me after everything you have suffered."

This time I laughed as the meaning of her words became clearer. "Are we doomed to so willfully misunderstand one another?"

She smiled, though sadly. "I was so frightened that I might lose you."

Taking her hand, I softly caressed it before tugging her to me sharply. She gasped in shock, no doubt due to my roughness. "Isabella." My voice was low and throaty. "We are the most stubborn, ridiculous fools that ever lived."

Wrapping her in my arms, I lifted her to me. I leaned closer and closer, until my lips brushed gently against hers. I was surprised when her mouth parted welcoming me.

Abruptly, I stopped and gently set her back onto the ground. "Isabella, please forgive my behavior. It seems when it comes to you I lose all sense of reason."

She laughed. "Sir, if I may be so bold, your behavior is not at all unwelcome."

I sucked in a harsh breath, as she looked up at me demurely.

Her innocence and unknown passion were driving me insane.

"I shall remember that," I promised.

**~I~I~I~**

After speaking with Isabella, it was decided that I would ask her father permission upon returning to the house. She seemed nervous and that did nothing to sooth my anxiety.

We located Emmett and Miss Swan, who had conveniently wandered in a different direction.

We finally reached the house and were met by Mr. Swan, who looked impassive. He simply looked at me with a perceptive stare and proceeded to welcome us back. Taking a seat, I was content to have few moments of solitude before asking to speak with Mr. Swan. Sadly he had other ideas.

"Mr. Masen, would you care to join me in my library?" His penetrating stare caused my mouth to run dry.

Swallowing, I nodded and briefly glanced at Isabella, who looked at me with worried eyes.

At the time I had thought Mr. Cullen had been joking about his brother's special regard for what he called, 'his favorite daughter.'

Now I wasn't so sure he had been exaggerating.

"Please, have a seat, Mr. Masen." He motioned to a seat near the fireplace.

After pouring himself a glass of brandy, he politely offered and I declined.

"I believe we need to have a serious discussion." His stern gaze made me more uncomfortable than when my own father had chastised me long ago.

"Yes, sir, I believe we do."

He waited patiently for me to speak.

Gathering all the possible courage I had, "Mr. Swan, I have asked Isabella to be my wife and she has accepted. I humbly request your permission for her hand."

His eyes only widened slightly before his expression again became neutral.

"I admit I am astonished by your request, Mr. Masen. I was under the impression you found my daughter merely tolerable."

I groaned internally, wanting nothing more than to go back in time and right my egregious statement.

"I would like something understood, Mr. Masen. Isabella is very special to me. Since she was a child her, wit and curiosity reminded me a lot of myself. I could not live knowing she was bound forever in a marriage in which she could not respect her partner." He looked at me with a stern glance.

The sick feeling within my heart spread throughout my body, and I trembled. He was going to refuse me. I wanted nothing more than to throw all dignity aside and fall on my knees begging him to reconsider.

"Fortunately, my daughter has chosen a man who, not only loves her unconditionally, but has proven his worth many times over." His expression softened. "I will never be able to repay you for what you did for my youngest daughter, sir. But I will repay the money you laid out for her dowry."

I blinked in utter astonishment. "How...?"

"Oh, come now Mr. Masen! Are really so surprised that I would know? My brother was never so good at keeping secrets from me. As for your proposal, you are the sort of man I would never dare refuse anything! I am just grateful you are a worthy gentleman."

"I thank you, sir. I am indeed surprised at your knowing and hope you will not think me impertinent when I say I will not accept your money. As I told Mr. Cullen, the fault was mine. Had I been more open about Wickham's character, none of this would have happened. I will not be moved."

He chuckled. "Well you are indeed as stubborn as my brother said you were. Very well, I will concede to you on this point. Just remember, Mr. Masen, you may get your way with this, but when dealing with my daughter, be prepared to compromise quite frequently."

We laughed, and he shook my hand jovially. He again offered me some brandy, this time I accepted without hesitation.

**~I~I~I~**

Isabella was pacing relentlessly when I emerged, looking quite worried. My smile seemed to calm her fears, and she relaxed.

I asked if she could spare a moment with me in private before informing the rest of her family.

Leading me into a sitting room, she directed me to the sofa. Once we were seated I pulled her into a long embrace.

Laughing, she exclaimed, "I take it Papa gave his consent?"

"He most certainly did, although I was made to sweat in fear for several agonizing minutes."

She shook her head, and I took the opportunity to pull the velvet pouch from my pocket. Unlacing the ribbon, I drew out the ring.

Holding her hand, I slid the ring onto her delicate finger, after which I lifted it to my hand and placed a tender kiss on her hand.

"You have made me the happiest of men, Isabella."

At that moment, Mrs. Swan walked into the room. Seeing us in such a close proximity and my hands on Isabella, she retreated quickly.

"Mr. Swan! You must come here immediately. Your favorite daughter is alone with Mr. Masen..."

Her cries became quieter as she sought out her husband. Isabella's cheeks reddened in mortification.

Mrs. Swan reappeared pulling a very amused looking Mr. Swan behind her.

"You see! They are alone _and _in a compromising position. You must demand he marry her!"

"Why Mrs. Swan, I see no occasion for that." I looked at the man a saw him wink at us.

Isabella's mother became hysterical. "Of course you shall, look!" She pointed toward us. "One scandal is enough for a lifetime. They must marry!"

"You misunderstood me my dear. There is no occasion for me to demand he marry her since they are already engaged."

Mrs. Swan was silent for a moment, her expression was one of disbelief. Suddenly her knees began to give out, and she fell to the floor in a most unladylike manner.

Mortified, Isabella ran to her mother. The commotion drew the other girls, who were soon all standing in the doorway. Calmly, Mr. Swan asked the housekeeper to fetch her smelling salts and to have Mrs. Swan taken to her room to rest.

I couldn't be sure but as they were assisting her from the room, I swore I heard her mumbling,

ten thousand a year."

"Edward, would you join me for a walk? We can stay close to the house." Isabella whispered quietly.

"It would be my pleasure."

"Thank you. I will quickly fetch my bonnet and spencer."

We walked the length of the park in silence. After we reached a comfortable distance, Isabella began to apologize.

"Edward, I am so sorry about Mama, she is just... exuberant."

"You have nothing to apologize for. In fact, I believe I owe you an apology." Her confusion was endearing. "My Aunt," I clarified.

"Ah, yes," she stated.

"How can I possibly make amends for such behavior?" I asked sincerely.

She sighed softly. "I admit she was severe, but I quickly saw it was nothing more than you had ruined her hopes of a marriage between you and her daughter."

"It still showed a sever lack of decorum for her to insult and abuse you in such a way. And here at one time I thought my family so far above yours."

"Well sir, I believe on this point it is safe to say we are both guilty of relatives who embarrass us."

**~I~I~I~**

I stood waiting for Emmett to compose himself. I suppose the shock of not only my good humor after being in the Swans company, but the news of an engagement had rendered him speechless.

"I... I don't understand. Have you not always argued? How did this happen?" he asked, completely astonished.

"I admit, I admired Miss Isabella from the moment I saw her." He let out a loud snort. "Come now man, after what you said about her?"

He had no idea just how agreeable I had found Isabella that first meeting. I am sure if he knew he would thrash me soundly or call me out.

"I was very wrong, Emmett. I admit that and will spend the rest of my life making it up to her."

He eyed me for a moment before chuckling. "Damn right you will!" He howled with laughter. "For I shall be sure to tell your children and their children, oh and mine as well, that you found your wife only merely tolerable."

I glared at him. "You wouldn't dare."

"I most certain would and I intend to." He chortled. "For this is just to perfect an opportunity to pass up."

"You seem to find much amusement in my suffering."

"Of course," he said, grinning. "You have always been so serious, Edward. I was beginning to think you would never give way."

"I suppose for a time I was lost in simply doing my duty to my family, as well as Pemberley. I didn't realized how withdrawn I had become."

"Well, let us think on more pleasant topics. Such as our good fortune at securing two of the handsomest women in England."

~I~I~I~

We settled on a wedding date two months hence, in early November.

The sisters, who were so close and dear to one another, asked if we were amenable to a double wedding. Neither Emmett nor myself had any objections.

I wrote several letters informing my sister, as well as Jasper and the Major General, of my engagement. With the date set, I hoped both men would be able to attend before the realities of battle called them away once more.

The wedding preparations took up much of Isabella's time. Between the demands of Mrs. Swan, dress fittings, and other such nonsensical arrangements, I was becoming impatient for the wedding to be done with.

I was beginning to understand why couples ran off to Gretna Green.

After a particularly long stretch without my beloved, I asked that we all enjoy a stroll. Miss Swan, who was busy talking with her mother, declined. To my good fortune, only Isabella was disposed to walk out with me.

We strolled through the Longbourn gardens and past the park, into the surrounding forest.

"I will miss these familiar haunts." Isabella spoke wistfully.

"I am sorry to be taking you away from here, but rest assured we will visit, and your family will always be welcome at Pemberley," I replied sincerely.

"I know, Edward, and I am not prone to melancholy, I just... Pemberley is truly beautiful and I cannot wait to explore the grounds of my new home. I suppose it is hard to say goodbye to so familiar a place." She closed her eyes breathing deeply. "The familiar scents of the flowers, the trees. I could wander blind through these woods and never feel lost."

We were quite alone and had been for quite sometime.

Isabella opened her eyes and looked at me in earnest. "This feeling, Edward, it doesn't get any deeper than this does it?"

"Oh, yes it does." With that I took her face in my hands, looking into her eyes for a moment before bringing her lips to mine.

She sighed with contentment, and I began kissing her.

I was gentle at first, but it was not long before my passion was released and all the love and longing poured out from my very soul. Soon my hands began moving up and down her back, the sensation of her nearness sent shivers up my spine.

Her hands found their way into my hair and caressed it in a way the drove my need further into a frenzy.

Our mouths never parted, but continued to explore.

A nagging voice told me I needed to stop, but the feeling was far from satisfied.

It seemed neither of us could break away, for the loss would be too much.

When our lips finally parted, I held her to me, trying to comfort her and myself.

I couldn't think – the feelings were so overwhelming. So I held her there, content with the knowledge she would soon be mine.

~I~I~I~

October came and went, and soon the wedding was upon us. Jasper escorted Alice to Netherfield, and she ran into my arms.

"Edward! I have missed you. Where is Isabella?" she immediately asked.

I chuckled, feigning hurt. "I see who you have really missed."

"Oh, stop it." She slapped my arm playfully.

"It's true, old boy. She talked of no else the entire trip here."

"Jasper Whitlock!" she cried. "You are a traitor, sir."

Jasper looked shocked. "A traitor, Miss Alice? I am no traitor. How shall I punish you for such a speech?"

He winked at me and I decided to play along. "She is much too old to be spanked. Perhaps we should sendt her back to London as her punishment."

Alice gasped. "You wouldn't!"

"Well, as your guardians we most certainly could," Jasper drawled.

"I withdraw my comment then, sir, and beg you to forgive me." She curtsied ridiculously low, which caused Jasper to blush a deep red.

"I concede, madam!" cried Jasper.

I could not help but laugh. My sister was well on her way to becoming a confident young woman.

"Shall we go in then? I am sure Isabella is patiently awaiting your arrival."

I took her but a moment to catch my meaning. "Oh, you two!" And with that she descended the stairs leaving us to our laughter.

More guests arrived, and Netherfield was becoming quite full. I was surprised when the Major General arrived; he had sent me a post with his regrets, informing me he couldn't take leave at this time.

I understood, and was grateful Jasper had been granted leave to attend. So when he appeared I was delighted.

The night before the wedding, Emmett hosted the Swans, as well as his guests to a dinner. We ate and toasted to our forthcoming marriages.

Because of our double wedding, we decided to forgo having a man stand up with us, since for each of us it would have been the other.

With a bright smile, Mr. Swan stood. "I would like to thank you, Mr. McCarty, for your hospitality this evening. I feel blessed to have so much happiness in my life. I propose a toast to the two happy couples, may your marriages be fruitful and your partners tolerable."

The table erupted in laughter and cheers. Isabella, as well as myself, turned bright red. I was getting accustomed to the sardonic wit of my future father-in-law. Putting aside my embarrassment, I smiled and kissed Isabella's hand.

The evening ended, and I bade my bride farewell, with a kiss of promise that tomorrow we would begin our lives together.

After the Swans departed, I bid the party goodnight.

"Edward?" I turned to see the Major General. "Might I have a word with you?"

"Certainly, sir," I agreed.

He produced a worn leather book bound with twine. "Your father bade me give this to you when you were ready. I admit I had not had the opportunity, until now, to present it, but I believe this is the correct time for you to have this."

Astonished, I took the book from him. "Thank you sir."

The older gentleman, known for his bravery and loyalty, seemed overcome by emotion. "Very well... I bid you a good night."

He walked away before I could stop him. I took the stairs to my chamber, and the book felt like a great weight in my hands. What could it possibly be?

I sat by the fire and broke the twine, carefully opening the book.

Inside the cover, I saw my father's familiar handwriting.

As I read on I realized it was my father's journal. The first entries were of Edward Masen's courtship to Lady Elizabeth.

It began with my father lamenting that her family thought him too common for their daughter of noble birth. I could scarcely believe such a thing, and shook my head as I realize some things never change.

After a lengthy courtship, Edward Masen had been successful in overcoming the families' objections.

After the marriage, my father seemed truly happy, as their marriage was a love match unlike the many marriages of convenience their friends endured. Soon the tone of my father's words became more somber as he related the many miscarriages my mother suffered, before finally bringing me into this world.

My father wrote that after my birth he was reluctant to risk her health again, but she begged him to try. It had been their desire to fill Pemberley with the laughter of many children.

But it was not to be, her health never recovered after Alice was born. She died not long after.

I closed the journal, not wanting to read his thoughts at that time. It had been hard enough to witness them.

I thought about Isabella and her health. The thought of losing her was inconceivable.

I settled in bed my, thoughts alight with the precious gift of my father's words.

Sleep had been fitful. A faint glow from the morning light filtered though the heavy curtains.

Knowing sleep would not come again, I resolved to walk out.

Donning my trousers, shirt and great coat, I decided to forgo my neck cloth as the hour was very early, and it was unlikely that I would encounter anyone.

The air was chilled but not so much that I was uncomfortable. Walking through the trees I basked in the silence. Only the occasional meadowlark disturbed the silence. A thick morning mist was rising from the fields, as the sun began to rise it would periodically break through the fog.

Looking ahead, I noticed a person walking in the distance.

Not wanting to encounter any strangers this morning I was tempted to return the way I came. I looked at my surrounding and realized where I was. Although I had not set out to walk to Longbourn, I had unconsciously done so.

As I neared, the figure and coloring of the person felt familiar. I looked closer and realized it was Isabella.

I doubled my effort to reach her, taking her into my arms when we met.

"My love, what are you doing out by yourself?"

"You will probably think I am foolish, but I could not sleep. Though I could ask the same of you, sir," she teased.

"I admit I was restless as well. But Isabella, it would not do to for the bride to catch a cold on her wedding day. May I escort you back to your house?"

"You may indeed, Edward."

As we reached Longbourn, I could hear a shrill voice coming from the house.

"Oh, Mama," Isabella lamented.

Mrs. Swan came through the door. "Where have you been? Oh, my poor nerves! Mr. Swan... Mr. Swan, I have found your favorite daughter. She has been walking out in nothing but her night dress and coat. I swear to you she will be the death of me," she cried.

Mr. Swan appeared. "Well Isabella, I suppose you had to give your mother one more attack of nerves before your departure."

"Papa," she said, laughing. "I couldn't sleep, and I suppose neither could Mr. Masen."

"Very well then. Mr. Masen, thank you for returning my daughter."

"You're very welcome, sir."

As if the concept had just occurred to her, Mrs. Swan realized I was standing next to her daughter.

"Isabella!" she admonished. "You know it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding." She pulled Isabella inside.

"No compassion, I tell you! No compassion for my poor nerves."

Mr. Swan smiled. "Well, son, thank you for returning her safely. Now off with you. We will meet at the church in a few hours."

"Thank you, sir." I bowed and walked back toward Netherfield.

~I~I~I~

Isabella sat down in the coach, exhausted. I took my seat and tapped the roof signaling for the coach to depart.

She leaned out toward the window and bade her friends and family goodbye.

Gathering her into my arms, I gently stroked her arms.

"It was a beautiful wedding, Edward."

"It was indeed, my love."

I had never paid much heed to the vows before, but I feel as if..." she trailed off.

I tipped her chin up so she was looking at me. "Tell me, my love," I beseeched her.

"It feels as if we are one soul now, and that everything we knew... our families... it is all second. For I am now yours as you are mine."

I placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "Yes, Isabella. I am yours. And I intend on making good on all my vows."

A look of confusion passed over her face, and I smirked at her. "I promised to care for, cherish and love you. To endow you with all my worldly possessions, and..." I paused, continuing in a low voice, "with my body to worship you, until death do us part."

She shivered in my arms, and I tapped the ceiling once more, urging the carriage to move faster.


	29. The Joining of Two Hearts

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

**

* * *

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**Pemberley, May 1814**

I gathered my wife in my arms, holding her close to me. Darkness had fallen, and the only light surrounding us was the faint flickering of the lanterns lining the railing. The cool air swept across our faces as we sat on terrace. Looking toward the heavens, we gazed at the sea of stars, which seemed to have no ending.

"It is beautiful tonight, Edward."

"It is indeed, Mrs. Masen."

"Mrs. Masen, is it?" she said with a teasing tone. "After all the trouble you went to for me to call you Edward."

"I admit there is something about calling you Mrs. Masen," I whispered into her ear "that never fails to stir me."

She smiled wistfully. "I can scarcely believe it has been half a year since we married. It feels like only yesterday."

I gently caressed her arms**, **enjoying the way her hair flowed freely down her shoulders. It had taken some persuading**,** but I finally got her to agree to wear her hair down whenever we were alone.

"Isabella, it has been many years since I have felt this content. I followed the path laid before me without really caring about my destination."

She held me tighter, and I kissed her head, reassuring her.

"I would often sit here as a boy with my father, looking at the heavens. He told me no matter how quickly time passed**,** the stars were always a constant. As I grew older I would come out alone. I found some sense of solace**,** but as the years came and went**,** I felt so alone."

I looked down at her and saw she was looking at me with tears in her eyes. "No tears, my love. Time it seems has no meaning now. For I have you."

She smiled and grasped my hair, pulling me to her. "Do you recall our first night as man and wife?" she whispered.

"Of course." I grinned; it was a night I would never forget.

**~I~I~I~**

_London, November 1813_

_Pacing impatiently outside the door to our adjoining chambers, I could no longer wait. I finally resolved to fetch her myself. Quietly, I opened the door to her chambers and went in search of my wife. Her chamber was quiet as I walked across the darkened space toward her dressing room. She was seated at her dressing table, her maid fashioning her long curls into a knot upon her head._

"_I thought it was impolite for gentlemen to lurk in doorways, Sir?" she teased._

_The maid finished and looked at me, surprised. "That will be all, Sarah. The Mistress will not need you until morning." _

"_Very good, Sir." the maid curtsied and excused herself quickly._

_Isabella tried to stifle her giggle. "Oh, Edward, you mustn't frighten the poor girl. She was only doing her job."_

_I grinned wolfishly. "She was interfering with my intended goal, which is getting you alone."_

_She laughed. "So, Sir, you have me alone. Whatever will you do with me?"_

_I smirked. "Let me escort you, dear wife, and I shall show you exactly what I plan to do with you."_

"_Edward," she whispered as we entered my chambers._

_Startled by the sudden change in her mood, I looked at my wife. "Isabella, what is wrong?"_

"_May I sit for a moment?" she asked quietly._

"_Certainly, my love, may I offer you a glass of wine?"_

"_Please, Edward."_

_I poured her a drink and was becoming more alarmed when her fingers trembled as she took the glass of wine. Kneeling down at her chair__**,**__ I sought to offer what comfort I could. "Are you ill, my love?"_

_She sighed, "I am... not sure."_

"_Not sure?" I responded confused._

"_I spoke with... well that is to say, my mother came to my room last night and spoke of..." She paused__**,**__ taking a deep breath. Her cheeks burned__**,**__ and I tried to understand what her mother could have possibly said to discompose Isabella to such a degree._

"_She told me what to expect in my duty as your wife__**,"**__ she finally managed to choke out._

_My eyes were wide__**,**__ and for once__**,**__I was completely speechless! I could not imagine having such a mortifying experience with one's parent. Even more so, I could not imagine what Mrs. Swan would have told her._

"_If you require more time__**,**__ I can wait. I would never force you in any way."_

_Placing her glass on the table__**,**__ she took my hands. "No, Edward, it is my duty."_

_I groaned. There was that retched word again!_

"_Is that what you feel? That coming to my bed is only out of duty?" I tried to mask the hurt l felt, but it was impossible._

"_Of course not, but is that not what is expected of a good wife?"_

"_I had hoped between us it would be so much more. Can you tell me what your mother told you?"_

_She blushed again, a deep crimson this time. "She told me to lie very still, and that it would hurt. And after you found your... satisfaction, you would leave me for your own bed. She also said that if I was fortunate, I would conceive soon and you would not bother me for some time."_

_I blinked several times, trying to understand what she had just said. The picture her mother created was grim indeed. I confess, if such were the case, I would be unhappy. _

"_Do you feel that this is what you want?" My heart broke at such a thought._

"_I... I feel too much, Edward. Such an arrangement feels so cold."_

_Letting out a breath of relief, I rose to my feet and helped Isabella from the chair, leading her to my bed._

_Taking her in my arms, I began kissing her slowly at first as we stood, intertwined by the bed._

"_There is so much more, my love," I promised._

_I had never before felt so alive, and I knew it was all because of the beautiful woman before me._

_I reached for the pins holding her hair and pulled them out one by one. I watched in awe as a dark wave of hair fell about her shoulders._

_I swept a wayward curl from her face, looking into her eyes. I saw so much love and longing it gave me hope. Bringing her lips to mine, I kissed her with abandon._

_In my urgency I pushed her against the bed, the mattress against her knees causing her to fall backward. _

_I swallowed thickly at the image of my wife lying on my bed, her hair splayed out on the mattress._

_Settling myself down next to her, I took the liberty of exploring her body, and with extra care I loosened each ribbon which held her robe in place. As I gently pushed it open, I gasped. The nightgown underneath was completely sheer._

_I looked up at my bride who had looked away, no doubt embarrassed._

"_Isabella, what is wrong?"_

"_I have never been so exposed, Edward. This is all so new to me."_

"_Does my touch frighten you?" I ran my fingers along her exposed flesh._

_She shivered at my touch, "Not at all. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Does that not make me wanton?"_

"_No, I confess I am delighted you enjoy it. There is no shame in taking pleasure from the love I show you."_

_Raising her up, I assisted her in discarding her robe. The nightgown left nothing to the imagination. Wanting to feel her completely, I removed the gown._

_She took hold of my shirt and drew it over my head. Not wanting to frighten her, I lay her back down before she could remove my breeches. We explored each other's bodies, with gentle kisses. Soon an urgency began to build__**,**__ as my hands wandered up and down her naked flesh._

_My hand sought her breast__**,**__ and I marveled at how soft they felt. A soft moan escaped her lips, which only served to urge me further._

_She felt amazing._

_I felt her hand graze my breeches and hissed as she sought to remove them._

"_I fear you will have to assist me__**,**__ Edward__**.**__ I am not familiar with removing men's clothing."_

_I undid the latch which secured the breeches. Sitting up, I discarded the last impediment of clothing and returned to her quickly. Isabella's face flushed as she stared at my arousal. _

_She blinked, and her eyes darkened. I gathered her close, feeling her body shiver, in what I hoped was desire and not fear._

_I kissed her longingly, resuming my exploration of her body. _

_With my desire whipped into a frenzy, I could no longer wait. _

"_I am no longer afraid__**,**__ Edward. Please my love, make me yours," she breathed._

_With the utmost care__**,**__ I placed her on her back, rolling atop her body. _

_My entire body trembled as I entered my wife for the first time. There were no words to describe such a heady sensation._

_I never took my eyes from hers as I slowly guided myself inside. A small wince of pain appeared on her face__**,**__ and I felt her fingers dig into my back. I whispered apologizes to her. _

_Over and over, telling her of my love._

_Soon her expression smoothed__**,**__ and she smiled._

_I remained close to her while being mindful not to crush her with my weight. I kissed her with a need that matched my movements – slow and sensual._

_Isabella gasped and raised her hips. Suddenly__**,**__ I was even deeper than I had been before._

_It was too much. The feelings consumed me. I was overwhelmed._

_I could feel the tension in my lower body begin to build. I clung to her, desperately trying to hold on before the waves of desire swept me away._

_Each crest began to build, higher and higher until it peaked, sending my body into a fevered state. _

_I lost myself in her, shuddering violently and crying out in my release. Completely spent, I collapsed on her, trying to regain my breath. I rolled onto my back and pulled her to me. We lay there, holding each other, both incapable of words._

"_Edward, I had no idea one could experience such feelings."_

_I knew there was so much more she would experience. "This is only the beginning__**,**__ my Isabella."_

**~I~I~I~**

"I do remember, with clarity. Has it not improved with time, my love?"

She laughed quietly, "It has indeed. In fact, I was beginning to think you were never going to let me out of the house!"

I groaned, "That ball was a complete waste of time. I would have preferred to stay home with you."

"Really?" she questioned. "I was under the impression you enjoyed yourself."

"Dancing with you is always a pleasure, my dear. The rest however, I could have done without."

"Of what are you speaking, Edward? You were happy."

"I was**,** my love, but the constant stares by men who thought they had the right to gaze upon your person was infuriating."

"The waltz was incredible, was it not?" she whispered.

I closed my eyes**,** recalling the evening.

_The ballroom had been sweltering. As usual, entirely too many people had been invited. I found myself walking through the crowds__**,**__ my wife on my arm... enjoying myself._

_I knew if Emmett had been here he would have joyfully proclaimed that at last I had given up my hiding spot to join the living._

_Leading my wife to the dance floor__**,**__ I could not help but smile at my cleverness. In an attempt to secure her to myself for the night I had taken the liberty of filling her dance card with my name. By doing so I ensured that should she be asked she could decline in good conscience. As for myself, it was a selfish motive for which I was not the least sorry._

_The music began, and I was momentary surprised. I had only danced the waltz a handful of times because of the scandal associated with dancing so close to one's partner it was usually avoided. Isabella looked confused for a moment. "Edward, what dance is this?"_

_I grinned and took her hand, leading her. "It is called the Waltz, my love."_

"_I thought it was considered scandalous," she whispered._

"_Well then, my dear, would you like to stop?" I punctuated my statement by moving my body closer to hers._

_Stunned, her eyes widened. "No... Edward," she replied._

_Grasping her waist tighter, I leaned in, "You realize that having you this close is driving me to distraction?" I whispered._

_She snaked her hand up my arm toward my face, stroking it lovingly she replied. "If it is anything compared to what it is doing to me then we are even."_

_The next spin she leaned in even closer__**,**__ brushing her breasts against my chest. "Minx!" I hissed._

_Her laugh was beautiful, and I could only smile. "Who, me?" she replied innocently. I could only shake my head, she knew exactly what she was doing._

"You were lovely as I recall, not to mention a minx**,"** I teased.

"You didn't seem unhappy at the time."

"Not unhappy**,** Isabella, I was having a very difficult time maintaining my composure."

She stood and leaned against the railing. "It is so peaceful here. I truly love it."

I joined her there, holding her. "I am very happy to hear you say that, Isabella."

"Edward," She pulled away from my arms and looked at me through her lashes, "I am feeling tired, perhaps I ought to retire."

Alarmed, I looked at her. "Let me assist you."

"Assist me with what?" she asked confused.

"To bed, Isabella."

"Oh... how very convenient." She smiled and leaned in, kissing my cheek. Her lips lingered only a moment before she turned on her heel and ran into the house. I stood there for a moment until I realized what had happened.

"Minx!" I exclaimed as I ran after her.

I was able to catch her easily, one of the benefits of my large frame. I lifted her over my shoulder and ran for my chambers.

"Edward Masen! Put me down this instant!" She pounded my back.

Her pleas only drove me faster.

It felt like I couldn't reach her room fast enough.

"Isabella, you issued a challenge**.** I only hope you are ready for me."

She gave me no answer but for a soft moan.

When I finally reached my chambers**,** I carefully lifted her to the floor. We seized each other immediately, trying desperately to remove our clothing.

When we finally were free**,** I took her in my arms and kissed her. I asked her if she wanted me to touch her.

I needed her; the desire which had been building all evening was too much.

She nodded, and I began caressing her. With slow, tender strokes I ran my fingers up and down her soft skin. In the past months I had memorized every part of her body. The connection I felt was more than I could ever describe, more intimate than I ever thought possible.

It was as if not only our bodies connected but our souls as well. I seemed to know what she wanted, even before she could tell me.

I gave her all the pleasure I could, for she deserved nothing less.

I told her how she had changed me, how her beauty and mind were exactly what I had been looking for.

Her eyes never left mine as we moved together.

Our climax was long, slow and gentle.

**~I~I~I~**

**Pemberley, August 1814**

"When is Alice due to arrive, Edward?" she called to me.

I pulled back on Blackjack, bringing him from a canter to a trot. Turning to look at my wife, I said, "I believe we have several hours before her arrival."

She looked beautiful astride her horse. When we had reached Pemberley, she had asked me if I could teach her to ride. Although she had some experience riding, I suspected she wanted to be able to accompany me on my various outings. I heartily agreed since I was loathe to be apart from her and knew she would need more instruction before I felt comfortable enough to bring her on some of the more difficult paths.

I smiled as she patted Pandora**.** Isabella had fallen in love with that horse from her first trip. When I presented her with the horse as her own**,** she had been as giddy as a child.

I laughed and told her of all the gifts I had given her**;** the animal had exacted the warmest reaction.

"_Well my dear, you should know by now I am not a woman who can be bought with meaningless trinkets."_

Truer words were never spoken.

"You seem very far away. Anything you wish to tell me?"

"I was just remembering your reaction when I gave you Pandora."

"Really**,** Edward, was it that extraordinary?"

I laughed. "It was indeed, my love, for I can safely say you are the only woman who would prefer a horse to jewelry."

She made a most amusing face. "I am not fond of jewelry." Her lips turned into a pout.

"It is sweltering today," I commented, grimacing as the sweat ran down my back. "It felt so much better when we were cantering, at least the wind made it seem so."

"I think Pandora could use a drink. Is there a stream near by?"

I looked around, and realized we were near one of the lakes on the upper side of the estate.

Kicking Blackjack into gallop, I took off for the lake. I knew Isabella could keep up**,** but I looked back never the less. She was close to catching me**,** and I chuckled at the persistent look she wore.

When I reached a narrow path, I slowed, ducking in many places to avoid low lying branches. The foliage was dense**,** and I questioned myself if this was the right direction I should have gone. However**,** a few moments later the trees opened up to a grassy clearing.

Up ahead a small lake was peacefully situated. Soft light filtered from the trees, providing some respite from the heat.

Everything was in full bloom; it was almost ethereal in its beauty.

I turned and saw Isabella jump from her horse. She walked slowly toward the bank of the pond and bent down to feel the water.

"It is perfect, Edward!"

I agreed and dismounted. We brought our horses over to drink. The refreshing water was sorely needed for all of us.

I took Pandora and tied her, along with Blackjack, to a nearby tree. When I turned**,** Isabella was seated on a fallen log.

She had removed her riding jacket and hat. Her hair was wind-swept, falling gently down her back. As I neared, I noticed she was removing her boots and…, to my torture, her stockings.

"What have you in mind**,** Madam?"

Turning to look**,** she smirked. "I feel like a swim, Sir. Would you care to join me?"

Without having to be told twice**,** I swiftly removed my jacket. "I certainly would, my love."

"Edward, would you assist me in removing my corset?" Her back was facing me, her head turned in my direction.

I swallowed the urge to take her right there.

Gently**,** I loosened the laces of her corset and watched as she slid out of the confines of her clothing. Only her chemise remained.

With a grin**,** she dove into the lake.

I watched as her body moved through the water. The delicate white fabric was now completely translucent, and floated around her body in a most appealing way. When she finally came up for air, I rid myself of the rest of my clothing and dove in.

I swam up behind her and quickly grabbed her waist, pulling her back to me. Laughing softly, she let her head fall back onto my chest.

"I was wondering when you would join me. You seemed confused."

"Not confused, darling. Mesmerized would be a more accurate description."

Her hands reached behind to feel my body. I smirked when she found what she was seeking.

"I believe, Mrs. Masen, that you are wearing far too many clothes." I moved my hands from her waist, brushing her breasts as I made my way to the neckline of her wet garment. Grasping tightly with both hands, I tore the fabric down to her navel, and lowered us into the water. I reclined her onto my shoulder, giving me better access to her face and neck.

My hands roamed over her wet flesh, teasing it into goosebumps, as I trailed my way from her stomach to her breast.

I placed teasing kisses from her shoulder to her neck, licking and biting as I lost myself in this overwhelming passion which only seemed to grow.

"Edward, enough teasing**,**" she moaned.

Tilting her forward, I teased her entrance, slipping back and forth as I prepared her for me.

"Now!" she cried.

I positioned myself and eased into her. The warmth of her body was such a contrast from the cool water. I couldn't control the guttural moan which fell from my lips. "Oh**,** Isabella..."

I moved within her, the tempo quickly increasing as each moan escaped her. The softness of her voice only served to urge me on. Her breasts splashed lightly as they bounced on the surface of the water. I could feel her tightening around me. "That's it**,** my Bella. Let yourself feel, my love."

The situation took on a feel of detached reality. Almost as if in another place and time what we were doing should have felt shameful, instead it felt perfect.

"Oh... Edward..." she cried out**,** as she reached her pleasure.

Not long after, I followed, gasping as my release filled her.

Utterly spent, I held onto her tightly, offering what comfort and strength I could in my embrace. Our breathing eventually calmed**,** and I cradled her to me. "I fear we must return to the house."

"Yes, it would not do to have Alice return to Pemberley with no one to welcome her**,**" she said sadly.

I carried her from the water**,** setting her down gently. "Can I help you dress, darling?"

She shook her head, "I can manage."

"I don't understand the reason for so many undergarments." I held up the many pieces of her wardrobe.

"Is that why you are constantly ripping them? Do they offend you**,** Sir?" she teased.

"Of course. They cover your beautiful body."

With a playful laugh, she pulled her dress on**,** forgoing the complicated undergarments.

"You**,** Sir, are incorrigible. Shall we go greet your sister?"

**~I~I~I~**

It had taken much longer than I anticipated to ride back to Pemberley. By the time we had taken the horses to the stables and began making our way to the house, it was well past midday.

"I expect Alice has already arrived," I said to Isabella, who looked away, embarrassed.

"Edward, I am not wearing any of my undergarments. I will not greet your sister half dressed!" she cried.

"Hmm," I mused. "Perhaps we could sneak in the side door and make our way to our rooms by the back stair case."

"You, Sir, are a very devious man." She grinned.

We laughed together as we strolled up to the back door. I assisted her up to our rooms, and rang the bell for the servants to attend us. After I was dressed, I sent my man down to inform Alice I would be escorting Isabella down, and that we would join her shortly.

Knocking softly on the door to my wife's chambers**,** I entered. She was dressed and appeared ready to join me downstairs.

"Beautiful**,** as always**,**Mrs. Masen. I see you found your undergarments once more," I remarked with a slight grin.

"I did, and once again**,** Betsy asked what I had done to my clothes. You continue to cause me a great deal of embarrassment, Sir." She raised her eyebrow**,** as if to dare me to contradict her.

"I take full responsibility for anything that happens in regards to your wardrobe. I suppose it is a very good thing I am so rich and can afford to buy you new things."

She could only laugh as we walked downstairs together to meet my sister.

"Isabella!" My sister ran to greet my wife, practically pushing me out of the way as they embraced. They greeted one another warmly**,** and Alice took her hand to lead her to the nearest sofa. If I had not been so happy to see Alice so taken with Isabella I might have been offended that she completely ignored my presence.

Instead I watched and listened as the two women**,** who were dearer to me than any other**,** laughed and talked of what had happened in the time since they had last met.

It had been several months since Alice had been with us. After our time in London, she joined us at Pemberley. I was happy to have her home**,** and was shocked when after less than a fortnight she declared her wish to return to London. At first**,** I was confused and hurt that my sister would want to leave again so soon. But after a rather long conversation, Isabella told me she felt she was imposing and wanted to give us time alone. She also suspected with Jasper**'**s imminent departure that Alice wanted to spend what time she could with him before he joined his regiment, bound for Spain.

His assignment was not unsurprising, yet I confess I feared for him. Many men never returned, and those who did were only a shell of their former-selves.

"Does he often stand and stare at you**,** Isabella?" Alice laughed, wrestling me from my thoughts.

"Not often, why?"

"Oh, well, he is doing a very good impression of a statue from our garden."

They both giggled, and I tried not to pout. "I see how it is. I never realized I could be so easily replaced."

"You, Sir, are quite pathetic when you do not get your way." Isabella teased.

"Well**,** I suppose that is my cue to leave you ladies alone and retreat to my study before dinner."

"Edward," Alice said, concerned.

But I held my hand up. "Alice, I am fine. I am happy you have found a friend in Isabella. I will see you two at dinner."

I had other reasons for retreating to my study. Since returning to Pemberley, I had been unable to tear myself away from my wife long enough to answer correspondence in a timely manner. It wasn't until my steward brought to my attention several disputes which were weeks old that I made the decision to set aside certain hours to deal with estate matters.

Smiling at my cleverness**,** I realized that by slipping away now I would be able to finish early.

After pouring through half a dozen reports and answering some letters from town**,** I felt exhausted. I looked at the time**,** and realized dinner was due to begin at any moment. Wanting to complete this final letter**,** I doubled my efforts. So engrossed in my work, I had not heard the door open or the light footsteps of my wife as she made her way behind me.

I felt her hands first**,** as they wound their way through my hair. Then slowly they made their way to my face and down my neck. The touch of her bare skin against mine always sent a shiver down my spine. I set down the quill and turned to look at her. Slowly, she reached for my hand and brought it to brush against her lips.

The sensations created by her nearness never ceased to amaze me. All I could do was smile like a fool.

"Will you escort me to dinner, my love?" she asked.

I picked her up, laughing as she playfully hit my arms asking to be released. I chuckled at her futile effort and continued carrying her all the way to the dining room. When we entered, I saw Mrs. Cope speaking with Alice**,** who was now looking at me like I was a lunatic. Mrs. Cope shook her head and patted Alice on the arm, "This is tame, my dear. Don't let your brother's stern countenance ever fool you again."

A wicked gleam shone in her eye**,** and I shook my head. "Where is Jasper when I need him? It seems all the females are conspiring against me**,** and it would only be fair if I had another male on my side."

Alice's face fell for a moment. "I forgot to tell you, he sends his regards, Edward."

I put Isabella down and went over to her. She held onto me tightly. "He will be alright. Jasper is a strong, brave man. He will come home to us."

She looked up, blinking away the tears in her eyes. "I know. Thank you brother."

**~I~I~I~ **

**Pemberley, December 1814**

I watched out the window as the snow fell, covering the landscape in a gentle blanket of white. I was beginning to worry that the last of our party would be unable to navigate the roads. The Swans had arrived with Angela and Bree. I had received a letter from Riley explaining his regrets in not being able to attend due to his obligations.

My cousin Kate and her husband Garrett arrived not long after. I smiled as I thought back on the surprising letter I received from Rosings. It seemed my marriage not only prompted**,** but also gave Kate the courage to seek her own happiness. They seemed very much in love, and I was happy for them. For once, Lady Irina was rendered speechless as her daughter laid out in no uncertain terms her plans for her should she choose to object.

Alice remained with us at Pemberley, and she and Isabella became the closest of friends. She would often stumble upon us embracing in different places**;** she would only smile and walk in the opposite direction. We had not heard from Jasper other than through his superiors assuring us he was well. I looked forward to his return more for Alice's sake than my own.

This left Emmett, Rosalie, and their new daughter. I would not be surprised if they had decided to stop, rather than risk the child's health in this weather. Jane McCarty was born just ten months after her parents married, to the absolute pleasure of her parents and to the utter dismay of her aunts. The two women had never reconciled themselves to their brother's "disastrous marriage." A child only solidified the fact that they would not inherit any more than what their father set aside. The harpy had been so abusive in her comments toward Rosalie and Isabella that she was cut off completely.

"My dear, worrying will not bring them any faster." I closed my eyes and savored the feeling I always had when we were close.

I turned to hold her close to me, soothing her. "No, it will not, but I feel helpless here."

"You know that Emmett would not attempt the road if he felt it was too dangerous**,"** she said quietly.

"True**,**" I agreed. "How did you manage to slip away from our guests?" I was curious; since her mother had arrived she had been consuming all of Isabella's time.

"I suggested to Father that perhaps Mama could use some rest… and I had Mrs. Cope give her a draught in her tea," she admitted.

"Isabella Masen!" I gasped, shocked.

"Oh**,** Edward, don't act so shocked. She was acting like a manic, and add to that the worry over Rose and the child... I couldn't stand it any longer."

"You are devious, my dear. Does this mean when I displease you I will find myself passed out in my tea cup?"

"Perhaps." she grinned mischievously. "Oh**,** look Edward. They have arrived!" she exclaimed suddenly.

I looked out the window and saw Emmett assisting his wife down from the carriage. Several servants flocked to their aide. I breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to Isabella.

As I looked at the woman who had brought so much happiness into my life, I saw in her eyes a love so complete and filled with devotion, I could scarcely breathe. Everyday I was reminded of just how much she had changed me. Of the love which she had brought into my life. Every time I saw her it was as if I saw her for the first time. She became more beautiful with each passing day.

I took her hand and brought it to my lips. "Isabella Masen, have I told you today that I consider you the most beautiful woman of my acquaintance, and I am a lucky man to have you for my wife?"

Blushing, she shook her head, no.

"Forgive me?" I asked.

"There was never anything to forgive." She suddenly stood up on her toes, clinging to the lapels of my jacket. "I love you, Edward," she whispered as she pulled me closer.

I obliged, brushing her lips lightly with mine, before whispering. "My heart is yours, Isabella. My only desire is to make you happy, for the rest of our lives."


	30. Epilogue

**Complete... a word that brings mixed emotions.**

**To the readers and friends I've had the privilege to get to know through this story. THANK YOU! You have made this a**** wonderful experience.**

**Thank you for joining me on this journey. It has been amazing.**

**So, For the last time...**

**I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice**

* * *

**Pemberley, June 1815**

Several birds were chirping loudly**,**and I groaned as I lifted my head. Reaching my hand out to feel for my wife**,** I was met by empty, cold linens.

I sat up**,** looking around the room, but other than the fire and the hint of sunlight peeking through the curtains, it was dark.

And empty.

"Isabella?" I whispered. Hoping she was not far.

When I received no reply**,** I got out of bed and went in search of her. In the nineteen months since we had wed, we had only spent one night apart. It had been a misunderstanding, which to our mutual relief was solved quickly.

I admit**,** I had no idea female afflictions were such a messy business. And by messy I mean more in the emotional sense than the physical. I learned very quickly to choose my words carefully during that time.

I made my way toward my dressing room. I opened the door and walked toward my dressing table, surprised to see a set of clothes draped over the chair, with a sealed letter on top.

With eager haste**,** I tore open the letter and began to read.

_Edward,_

_I took the liberty of selecting your clothes for today. I have a special surprise for you and it involves your riding boots. Don't keep me waiting long._

_Your Isabella_

I dressed as quickly as I could, almost falling over twice. I couldn't wait to find out what my little minx of a wife had planned. Taking the stairs two at a time**,** I ran out the back door and toward the stables.

A stable boy was standing at the entrance with Blackjack already saddled and waiting.

"Here you are, Sir," the boy said, as he handed me the reins.

"Thank you," I replied, grateful, but still confused as to what I was to do now.

"Did Mrs. Masen leave any instructions for me?"

The boy smile eagerly, "Yes, Sir! I was to wait until you asked… or somthin' like that. You are to head in that direction**,**" he pointed east toward the woods.

"Thank you, kindly. Here is something for your trouble." I tossed him a few crowns and headed off in search of my wife.

I made my way toward the tree line**, **wondering where I was going to find her. And more importantly what she had planned. A low snort and a whine alerted me to her presence. I looked toward the sound, when she moved Pandora into view.

All I could do was stare helplessly. The air rushed out in that moment leaving me breathless.

There before me was a vision.

I had never seen such a dress before. Blue as bright and vibrant as the sky flowed from her body, like a gentle cascading river. Her hair was loose and fell around her shoulders. A slight blush colored her perfect cheeks as I gazed unabashedly at her.

However, something seemed amiss.

It was then Isabella gave Pandora a small kick moving her forward that I realized. She was sitting astride Pandora, rather than her customary sidesaddle.

_Good Lord this woman was going to be the death of me. _

"You seem a loss for words**,** husband." She smirked triumphantly.

"I am indeed," I whispered hoarsely.

"I feel like stretching Pandora's legs this morning, do you think you can keep up?" she questioned**,** before turning her horse and kicking her into a canter.

Her beautiful laugh was all I could hear when she was out of view. Chuckling**,** I kicked Blackjack into a run, my blood now boiling with unrestrained lust.

"I hope you are prepared for me, Isabella!" I called loudly, to which she responded.

"Only if you can keep up, Husband."

"Then steady yourself, you minx! For I shall not fail."

I raced behind her but was unable to catch her without causing harm to her or myself. I was content to watch her. The movement of her body upon the horse, the wind as it whipped through her hair. It was all delicious torture.

We were nearing a large log, which had fallen, blocking our path. I was suddenly aware we were not too far from the meadow. Normally we would walk around the log but it seemed today Isabella had other ideas. Lifting herself, she readied to take the jump.

Her strength and adventurous spirit were as arousing as they were beautiful.

With ease, she cleared the obstacle, and I once again was rewarded by her beautiful laugh.

Blackjack jumped over the log easily, and I continued the chase until we reached the meadow.

I watched as she swung her leg over and jumped from her horse with ease.

"Good Lord, Isabella, with the jump and now that, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Of course not, I was merely enjoying myself," she stated as she tied Pandora to a nearby tree.

I dismounted and led Blackjack over to where she had tied her mare.

Turning, I looked at my temptress of a wife. "What do you propose now**,**Madam?" my voice waslow; the need I felt was overwhelming.

She sauntered toward me. The sway of her hips was accented in the tight fabric.

When she reached me, she looked up with an expression of pure innocence. Running her hands up and down my arms**, **she simply smiled. "I love it here in the summer. The flowers are in bloom**, **and the grass is green and soft. It reminds me of a very special time not too long ago."

I could only nod, since she had made quick work of the buttons of my jacket and was slipping it past my shoulders. I assisted her, shrugging quickly out of the coat and depositing it on the ground. She reached for my neck cloth and slowly untied each knot before tugging on the fabric to bring my lips to hers. With lingering tenderness, she kissed me.

Too soon she released my lips and pulled the fabric from my shirt, tossing it toward the jacket. Her hands then worked their way down my chest toward my trousers.

"Have I ever told you how devastatingly handsome you are in your riding trousers and boots?" she whispered as she pulled my shirt off.

The seduction she was creating increased my desire for her more than I ever thought possible. The blood in my body boiled and pounded in my ears as I tried to speak.

"Yes," I croaked.

With the shirt off and my skin exposed**,** she leaned forward, placing kisses on my bare chest. Her fingers slipped underneath my trousers**,** and I finally regained my senses.

"I feel as though there is a vast difference in our dress."

Looking up at me she smiled wickedly. Turning so her back was facing me**,** she swept her hair from her back.

I stared at the view she was presenting me with**,** and it wasn't until she cleared her throat that I returned to my senses. The top of the dress was a corset**,** and I reached for the laces with trembling hands. One by one I loosened the ties until the garment fell open, falling to the ground.

She carefully stepped out of the pooled fabric and turned to face me.

"Beautiful**,**" I whispered reverently.

There was something different about her skin... she seemed almost luminous.

"I dreamt of you long ago… here in my meadow**,**" I confessed. "I thought you were a wood nymph." I stepped toward her. "Nothing, not my dreams nor any painting could really do you justice."

Falling to my knees**,** I teased her legs with the brief flutter of my fingers. Slowly I caressed my way from her ankle up toward her knee. I added soft kisses along with my gentle stroking of her thighs.

I loved her legs, they were both slender and strong from her habit of walking.

I was rapidly approaching the junction between her thighs, my excitement was becoming very evident in my breeches.

"I love your touch, Edward," she moaned as she ran her fingers through my hair.

Emboldened by her statement**,** I placed a kiss on her lower belly forgoing where I knew I would be unable to control myself. Working my way up her abdomen to her breasts, she shivered when my mouth reached her nipple.

"Oh, Edward**,**" she whispered hoarsely.

Unable to wait any longer**,** I rose and laid out my great coat on the grass. I picked her up and lowered her onto the ground.

Standing quickly I removed my boots, and then undid the buttons of my breeches. With a satisfied look on her face**,** she watched as the garment slid to the ground.

"I will never fail to be stunned into silent appreciation by your magnificent body. Nor it seems the reaction my body has from the sight of it."

I coughed softly, embarrassed.

"Tis true." She smiled naughtily.

Groaning, I joined her on the ground, wanting nothing more than to bury myself inside her immediately.

"But in seriousness, I do love you, Edward," she stated calmly.

I felt overwhelmed by the many different emotions I was experiencing. "And I love you, Isabella. Ardently, passionately, and forever. You are beautiful, my Bella, I need you, desperately."

Isabella could only moan in response.

Shifting ever so slightly**,** I hovered over her. While looking in her eyes I softly kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her nose and finally her lips.

"Please, Edward."

I entered her slowly, savoring the feeling that always came when we joined. I looked down briefly, watching our bodies entwined, the realization that this was my life shook me to my very core.

Looking again into the eyes on my beautiful wife, I whispered hoarsely**,** "I love you."

I pushed deeper into her, losing myself in the sensations, which came every time she yielded to my movements.

There was no doubt of our affection for one another. It had only grown with each passing day. I wanted to give her all the pleasure I could and fill her with my love. Each stroke became more intense**,** as my body thrust upward, unyielding in its pursuit.

She began to cry out**,** and I slowed my movements, wanting to prolong the feeling between us.

I felt her hands grab on to me, forcing me to again quicken my pace. It was obvious Isabella had other ideas. She leaned up and whispered her love and adoration in my ear. My ability to calm my ardor was lost**,** and I abandoned myself to her body.

The peaceful atmosphere of the meadow was such a contrast to the tumultuous storm raging between us as our bodied met.

I felt her body begin to convulse around me, the tightness was incredible**,** and I waited as she rode out her pleasure before seeking mine.

My completion came so quickly and violently, my body arched**,** and I very nearly collapsed onto her. Our breath came in quick pants as we sought each other, clinging to whatever we could while the euphoria subsided.

"Thank you, Isabella**,**" I said simply. There were no words to describe what I felt.

Everything felt perfect in my life. Our life.

"I think I rather enjoyed riding in the saddle**,** rather than precariously on the edge."

My question from earlier came back to me. "I am curious as to what prompted such a bold seduction."

She laughed softly, "I simply wanted to try it, since I won't be able to ride for another six months or so."

Confused, I paused for a moment. "Why would you be unable to ride?"

She looked at me as if I had missed something important.

"Because, dear husband, in about six months' time, an heir for Pemberley will be born."

I looked at her in earnest, trying to see through her countenance if what my ears had heard was correct. "Truly?" I whispered, as if saying it louder would make it untrue.

"Yes, Edward. Truly, I am," she smiled.

"We will have child, a family. I will be a father!" I realized aloud.

Isabella could only giggle at my outburst.

I looked at her, and saw how happy and healthy she appeared. I would hold onto that thought. She would make it through, and I would realize these dark thoughts were foolish. Isabella's health was not fragile, like my mother's. This was a time to celebrate. Banishing all those thoughts and fears, I held her to me, kissing her fiercely.

* * *

**In life there are no 'The Ends.' Just the promise of a wonderful beginning.**


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